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Here's what I do know - after she broke up with me.
- about 10 days later she called me crying, had a bad day and really needed to hear my voice
- sent me an email the day after she called me asking me if it was all right that she called
- last week we ran into each other at the gas station where she asked for a hug of course I gve her one
- she's babysitting for some friends of mine in a couple of weeks
Is she really moving on what is going on? Do I stop no contact and call her or text her?
Just because you have started a new thread doesn't mean you'll get different answers. Reread your other posts and you'll see that this question has been answered. Have you noticed that every time you see her, or she calls you get more confused? Sooner or later you will realise you will never have what you had with her, and the best thing to do is accept this is over, she wants you as a friend to make her feel better, nothing more. Now move on. STOP THE MADNESS! That would be better for you both.
I understand that - but can you explain this one?
I text messaged her the other night - just saying that I was thinking about and wanted to say hi, and she called me the following morning to tell me that she got my message and didn't call me sooner because she was flying home. Why did she call me back? And so quickly?
She has to keep you as a friend. You will get just enough to keep you wondering, but not enough to push you away. Stop calling and then stop taking her calls, and you will see something that you need to see.
Well she's called me 3 times today, didn't leave any messages - now what?
Must be extremely important since she didn't leave a message. What do you think? Call her later and find out. Your really curious, and so are we.
So we talked for about 2 hours and she says she's not ready for a relationship. And I agreed that we would need to take things really slowly. She wants to get together and do things but can't really committ, she asked me if it was okay if she went out with other people and I said that it was a deal breaker. I asked her how she would feel if I went out with other girls and she didn't know -thought she might go psycho-ex girlfriend mode. I feel like we made some progess and we really communicated the things that were important to us in our relationship. I think we're going to get together at the end of the week - something casual. Who knows what'll happen - I really got that she was confused and scared about a lot of things. Hopefully we'll make it work.
STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP!! THIS IS NOT WORKING MORON!! (sorry)
What you are doing is not working don't do what you have been doing all you are doing is justing hanging on a lifeline which she has got dangling. I did this WILL NOT WORK Not!!
I can tell from your thread you told her well we will have to take it really slowly. The only reason you said that is cause you are thinking well I can tell her and she will agree and take it slow and you will be together!! NO F ING WAY THIS WILL HAPPEN!! And if it did you'll be out again.
She wanted a break, DO NOT LET HER CRY ON YOU!! Your moving on you have to show her you Don't have time for crap you don't want a girl who doesn't know what she wants!!
You have to be the best! The best is NOT waiting THE BEST is busy! The BEST has options if she's unsure there's plenty out there who are sure!!
Even though at the moment you want her and really you are a wussie well you have to pretend your not.
This is what you do!! STARTING NOW!!
You do not answer for 1 week at all no text nil. You also have your phone switched off every second night. That's right OFF OFF OFF! You be unavailable even though you are probably lying in bed crying, you must show you are busy so she will wonder and can't tal;k to you. The less she can talk to you the more she will want too.
Do this for a week and see how it goes. Or else try your s h I t way and keep hanging on and you know what she will say
"IM JUST NOT READY FOR A RELATIONSHIP AT THE MOMENT" I JUST WANT TO WORK ON MYSELF FOR A WHILE... Then your out
Let me know how you go!!
Also I hust rered what you just said in that last post!!
I Don't BELIEVE I MISSED IT!!
She said she's not READY for a relationship!! And you said I agree we need to take it slow!! YOU didn't hear what she said she said not ready and you said TAKE IT SLOW!! TAKE WHAT SLOW THE DOG FOR A WALK! WAKE UP!!
Then I go on and see she wants to know if she can see other people!! The only reason she wants to see other people is she Don't want you at the moment, cause your hanging around!!
Then you ask her what about you seeing other people WHAT SHI T IS THAT!! She wanted a break of cause your seeing other people you're the great bloke your not waiting for anyone!!
You don't need to ask her you tell her this!! LISTEN RIGHT NOW!!
Whaen she says cyan I see other people you say yeah Im going to the movies with this girl I met out last Friday Night!! That's right you reply with yes go and see other people yourve got a date Friday NIght!! Don't be SCARED of losing her!!
She hasn't got a date she will be f ing freaking all night Friday thiunking how your date is going and you know what on that Friday your phone is switched off and not back on till the next night. You rve gootta let her know you might have found someone who knows what she wants!!
DO THIS BNEXT TIM DO THIS IF YOU MUST SPEAK TO HER LET HER KNOW YOURVE GOT A BIG DATE LINED UP! PEOPLE can't ENJOY THEMSELVES IF THERE EX IS ON A DATE .
You are thinking if I tell her I'm on a date then she will go on a date and find someone! BULL she will be that worried yes WORRIED about your date even if she is on one this bloke won't be her type at all she will be thinking of you!!
DO IT IF YOU HAVE TO TALK ON PHONE Don't PLAY AROUND ANYMORE THIS WILL WORK!! YOUR CHOICE, your other way is just going to make her comfortable and she will find another bloke who will be a jerk and tell he stop talking to the ex and she will!
BE THE MAN TONIGHT!!
I did what you're talking about, didn't talk to her for a week (a couple at that). She called me 6x today and left me 2 messages and drove by my house to share some dinner with me. I wasn't home so she didn't stop. We don't play games that's not what we're about. I told her that it wasn't okay for her to "date" other people and reversed it on her - she wasn't very comfortable thinking about me dating other girls. She initiated contact, not me.
Listen I Know you don't want to play games but this is not games...
This is just looking after yourself and making her feel more attracted to you. This is the reason she is so unsure she is losing the attraction!! She is only coming back cause she is missing you give her thet
Make her miss you, you are not understanding!!
IWhaen you disappear she wants you more arnt you finding a trend you must do this if you want her. Or keep trying your stuff but please keep me informed any news today??
If you think talking to her and working it slowly is your go whatever is in your heart you will go with. Many people say different things on here but it is up to the individual to do what they want cause they will in the end. When was the last time you spoke and what wdid the conversation say I need details. Thanks
You are in the friend zone. And that's where you'll be after she finds someone.Quote:
Hopefully we'll make it work.
Simple, ASK?Quote:
Originally Posted by Righthearted
"I feel like this is the best thing for us right now. Daniel and I had some problems in our relationship and I honestly just could not see us moving forward together. It was a really hard decision to make and I truly feel like I lost my best friend, but at the same time I feel a sense of freedom now. Daniel was such a big part of my life. He was all I knew. I am going through a huge transition now that I am done with school. I am trying to figure out what I want to do and who I want to be and I just feel like I need to do that for me before I can settle down with someone else. Daniel has 14 years of life experience that I don't have which I think he forgot sometimes. I just feel like I need some me time. In college I had a plan and now that I am out of college and things aren't going quite as planned I feel a little lost. I told Daniel I needed space, and it was really hard for him to hear. I care about him so much and I never meant to hurt him. I do need time to be my own person though."
THIS IS WHAT I GOT FROM AN OLD POST OF YOURS...
My girlfriend said exactly the same thing two months ago. Honestly exact!! Im 6 vyears older than her and she said I had more life experiences than her she is in her last year of a five year course and wants to work out where she is headed in life. Let me tell you this may sound like she is talking to you but what she is really saying is this
I Don't FEEL THE SAME WAY ABOUT YOU AS I USED TO BECAUSE I USED TO MISS YOU HEAPS WHEN WE WERE TOGETHER FOR THE FIRST YEAR BUT NOW I LOVE YOU AND CARE FOR YOU CAUSE YOUR SUCH A BIG PART OF MY LIFE BUT IT IS NOT A PASSIONATE LOVE LIKE IT USED TO BE SHE LOVES YOU MORE LIKE A FAMILY MEMBER!! SOMEONE WHO SHE CAN TALK AND RELY ON NOT LOVE YOU LIKE SHE WANTS YOU TO RIP HER PANTS DOWN AND GIVE HER A LESSON!!
IF YOU DOINT LEAVCE AND CUT OFF ALL CONTACT WITH HER RIGHT NOW YOU WILL NEVER GET HER PANTS AROUND HER ANKLES AGAIN!! AND FURTHER MORE YOU WILL BE OPN THIS SITE IN A FEW MONTHS AND YOUR POST WILL READ SOMETHING LIKE THIS!!
My ex and I were on a break but now she's met this guy she tells me its nothing serious and she still loves me but just needs time to work things out. She always sends me messages saying how much she misses me (MIND YOU THAT IS WHILE SHE IS NOT RIDING HIS SLONG CAUSE THE NEW GUY IS BUSY) anyway back to it. The new guy she has met she says he doesn't treat her anywhere near as good as I treated her and she still always rings me what does this mean?? I know she still loves me but I'm not sure what to do now!!
Well this is what will happen nshe will get a new guy and you will be the buddy!! Get out Now and give yourself every possible chance!! It took me two months to finally leave my ex alone!! You have told us she has not got many friends, don't you see while you are around she won't miss you she is relying on you for support and friendship till the new bloke sweeps her off her feet!! DTHIS IS NO LONGER A GAME I AM TALKING ABOUT>THIS IS LIFE AND IF YOU WANT TO WALK AWAY WITH THE GIRL< PLEASE Disappear AND IF SHE DOES NOT WANT YOU WELL SHE NEVER REALLY DID.
All I am seeing from her end is that she wants to be friends and see other people. When you first met she would never had mentioned seeingh other people cause she was to keen on you.
What I have told you today will be of benefit to you and I know you are saying I've tried no contact. Well its about time you tried this simple few words when she rings.
IVE HAD ENOUGH OF THIS IM THE TYPE OF PERSON WHO LIKES TO HAVE A GOOD TIME AND IM GOING TO DATE SOME OTHER PEOPLE AND MEET SOMEONE WHO IS MORE SURE OF WHAT THEY WANT, I HAVE GIVEN YOU SOME CHANCES BUT YOUR TO UNSURE FOR ME!! ANYWAY HAVE FUN BYE .
That is what you say and hang up and tuirn your phone off! GIVE IT TIME Don't BACK DOWN. The firmer your decision the more she will come for you and hopefully tell you I've decided I am ready and then you can be with her!!
Lol! Just go get yourself some sort of reality check. Ok she wants you but doesn't. Well have more of a life then and in time you will become indifferent. Just don't hold up on just her.
I've done what you're saying.
She knows that I don't want her to date anyone else and if she does I'm long gone. That's why we talked for 2 hours.
You said you have done what I'm saying!! Noyour not you spoke toherfor two hours. STOP DOING THAT STOP STOP STOP!!
SHE KNOWS YOU Don't WANTHER TO DATE ANTONE ELSE That's GOT NOTHING TO DO WITHYOU < YOU MAKE IT SOUND LIKE YOU ARE HAVING THE CHOICES YOU Haven't!!
You need to not tell her anything don't tell her what to do tell er absolutely nothing, why are you still talking to her!!
Disappear my friendcome on here and chat but I've her a spell you can't work anything outby talking about it you needto be gone!!
I know you say you havedonethat but you didn't do it for long or good enough.
You MUST not talk and answer nextthree times she calls and then on the next time IF SHE CALLS you answer and saywhatdo you want stop calling me you said you wanted it to be over so that's it!! You made your decision...
THIS ISWHAT NEEDS TO BE DONE SHE ISSTILL DRAGING YOU BY HE BALLS GIVINGYOU FALSEHOPE ON THE RELATIONSHIP YOUHAVE NO CHANCEAT THE MOMENT 0% of getting her back...
I believe youstill have a good chanceof getting her back hereif you handle ittherightway.
YOou said she knows I don't want her to date orim long gone!! \\\\
JEEZ YOU SHOULD BE LONG GONE NO MATTER WHAT SHE IS DOING WHYARE YOU WAITING AROUND DO YOU REALLY BELIEVE SHE IS MAKING A DECISION
I ILLTELLYOU RIGHT NOW YOU WILL BE LONGGONE SOON WHEN SHE FINDS HER NEXT BLOKE!!
ELL BE LONG GONE NOW GOD DAM IT WAKE UP YOU SAID YOU WILL BE LONG GONE WHEN SHE DATES BE BLOODY LONG GONE NOW AND GIVE YOURSELF A CHANCE!!
Let me know what yourdecision is have you had anymore phone cobnversations and what hasshe said??
Hope you know I am helping you sorry if sounds a bit rude but I am here to talk too... GOOD LUCK.
I know what you're saying - easier said than done. It's easy to make those recommendations but relationships are a lot more complex than that.
From our conversation the other night -
I told her that if she's looking to date other people that I'm not here for that, I want us to try again and go slowly. Then I turned it around on her and asked her how she would feel if I dated someone and she said that she didn't know and that she might go psycho-ex-girlfriend mode. She's the one that seems to be pushing to be with me - why would I push her away? Like I said she called me 6 times the other day and left me 2 messages.
Let us know when she is all the way back. Good Luck.
Hay rightheart I hopoe your doing well and I hope the girl is on the way back, I mean you better let us know when you get her fully back. Is there any update yet is she keen.
Hope your getting back in there, we are praying for you.
UPDATE - we had dinner the other night and after we kissed a lot. Last night we hung out a little and we kissed again. This morning she called me and possibly wants to get together tonight for drink(s). I hope it's not to break my heart again...
Another update -
She slept over last Saturday and everything was cool, then on Tuesday we had dinner at my place and kissed and cuddled some more. The entire time we haven't seriously talked about our relationship but she has told me that she is still looking to date, meanwhile we make out and kiss like we are still together.
Now it's Thursday and I find out she has a date for tomorrow. What the heck is going on?
Your heading for a BIG FALL! What a mistake, sorry chum, its all going down hill from here. Stop it!
What should I do then? How do we kiss and make out and act as if things were going back then she plans on going out on a date with someone else?
Because at this point there is NONE!Quote:
Originally Posted by Righthearted
She must really love you to go on dates with other MEN?Quote:
Originally Posted by Righthearted
She is your door mat, and she keeping you offf to the side just in case she can't find anybody else. Umm that would make me feel good?Quote:
Originally Posted by Righthearted
Well I would too, she know's you'll be thinking and waiting for her?Quote:
Originally Posted by Righthearted
At the present time she doesn't want you, she trying too find someone better and if she can't she knows you'll be rite their waiting with open arms to take her back. I know it's hard but I will still admit my feeling for my ex are still their, but if you would have listen to everyone here you would been further healed from the first day she dumded you, yes YOU. You probably feel like crap she going on that date if you would have done the NC you would been healing and sometimes it's just better not to no what the ex does. You might just get burned. Please just leave her alone and heal yourself.Quote:
Originally Posted by Righthearted
You have gotten a promotion from friends, to friends with benefits
Rightheart you have not listened. I know your situation cause I was in the same situation. I know all about the kissing and hugging!! HELL my girlfriend even slept with me and she kept kissing me saying Im still deciding your making my decision so HARD.
What a load of crap SHE thought I was making her decision hard because I was still around and no doubt she had feelings for me but te problem was she was not missing me she was still emotionally involved and loved the kissing and huggging but that was cause it was like a drug after 3 1/2 year sof hot action and affection she needed her regular fix of kissing . Adventually though after time they slowly walk away and this is a way of doing this slowkly and at the same time you think well we must be going OK kissing and stuff means we must be gettibg back together.
WRONG WRONG WRONG WRONG!! Sometimes this can be right but only when you push her away will you gett your true answer!!
I already tiold you this you are letting her have you there which means she is happy to date other guys and feels good cause HELL a lot of peopole are like this that's why they cheat they feel like they are safe with the person they are with so they are happier to find others. These people are creeps but that's how it works.
YOU CANNOT GIVE HER THE OPPORTUNITYU TO DATE OTHER GUYS AND FEEL GOOD AT THE SAME TIME , THE ONLY WAY YOU CAN ACHIEVE THIS IS TO NOT SEE HER AND TELL HER YOU ARE DATING OTHERS. GIVE HER A DOSE IF SHE CALLS AND SAYS KETS HANG OUT TOMORROW NIGHT TELL BHER SOORY iM GOING TO THE MOVIES.IF SHE SAYS WHO WITH JUST SAY WITH SOMEONE I MET AND TELL HER ITS NOTHING SERIOUS. GIVE GHER WHAT SHE IS GIVING YOU, MAKE HER WORRY , You're a GREAT GUY WITH PLENTY OF GIRLS WHO WANT AND DESERVE YOU.
At the moment you are looking to her like you can't live without her and you have no girls chasibng you , girls want a popular guy who is busya and has other girls eyeing him off...
Do this now next time you speak tell her your going out let her go crazy she will realise then you may be the one for her.
IF YOU KEEP DOING YOUR WAY SGHE WILL FIND SOMEONE ELSE AND THEN YOU WILL HEAR THIS " LETS JUST BE FRIENDS" OR ITS NOT WORKING" OR " IM WITH SOMEONE NOW LEAVE ME ALONE"
IIF You want to hear this keep doing what your doing! Stop
Do what I said now if you want let us no
We talked about "Us" again and she says she loves me but can't commit to a relationship right now. The thing is we still kiss when we see each other, I know I should do no contact - I guess that is what needs to happen.
Yes my ex is driving past my house and playing with mind. As long as she does this I will always think of her and never move on. That's my problem. You can go NC and get healthy. As long as you see her you are never goint to get over her.That's your problem. You have a chance to heal. I can't until I sell my house and she can't find me.
WAKE UP WUSSY!!
Why he hell are youkissing if you are not in a relationship with her!! 1You have to realise that if she wants to be with you it has to be in arelationship!!
LET ME TELL YOU NOW SHE DOES NOT That's RIGHT Not NOT LOVE YOU!! THIS IS FOR SURE!! GUARANTEED!!
She only says that cause she still wants you around.
The only way to fix this is to not talk to her at all. Tell her your not that keen on working it out with someone who doesn't want a relationship and your going to move on to someone who can handle a relationship!!
This is when she will realise that she wants you...
Why would you hang around with someone who dumped you, they dumoed you for a reason and that was cause she didn't want you..
ANSWER THIS WOULD YOU DUMP A HOT GIRL YOU WERE REALLY KEEN ON HAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAAHAHHA HELL NO YOU Wouldn't!!
Your holding on here thinking well if she keeps hugging and kissing m then she's not with anyone else and I'm might be able to show her and she might realise she wants me back!! S SHE Definitely WILL NOT!! NOTNOTNOT
You mus tell her yourve had enough if you continue to do what you want adventually you will be all he way out and she will not want you...
I GUARANTEE IF NEXT TIME SHE CONTACT YOU, YOU TELL HER YOUR TO BUSY TO SEE HER NOW AND THAT YOUR NOT INTERESTED IN A GIRL WHO Doesn't KNOW WHAT SHE WANTS. SHE WILL CHANGE HER MIND PRETTY QUICK!! PROBLEM IS YOU ARE TO SCARED TO TAKE THE CHANCE!! WELL IF YOU TAKE IT AND SHE NEVER TALKS TO YOU AGAIN WELL SHE Didn't WANTNYOU ANYWAY..!
Quote:
Originally Posted by mckenzie134
This is funny.. don't we wish there were no games! But this is how it is!
Quote:
Originally Posted by mckenzie134
Does this work for women too?
Maybe that's the problem with a lot of peoples relationships, they play to many games. Better to take a little extra time to find someone who doesn't play games.
Change guess to knowQuote:
Originally Posted by Righthearted
Well she went out on a dinner date last night for an hour and a half and then she called me, 5 times. I didn't answer her calls (it felt good) and she left a message asking me to call her.
Next move?
Go about you business. Leave her alone, but how do you know what she is doing?? Not good guy. Get your nose out of her business.
she told me that she was going out. And then she calls me 5x what's that all about.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Righthearted
Oh yea turn your phone off the first time she calls, why are you sitting there counting how many times she calls?
She called me today to see what's up and told me that I didn't return her calls the other night...
Am I rude for not calling her back? Or is it weak on my part to call her?
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