Originally Posted by
positiveparent
Hi Kat and Katie
Pleased you liked the poem, I too read it often if I feel I need some re-affirming.
Back on the tour meant I was again young free and single.
Yes I too was in no hurry to get back into the dating scene and took most of the time inbetween relationships working on my self, and of course living my life having a good time going out clubbing, dancing and just doing my own thing and I enjoyed every minute of it, actually for the longest time I was just not interested in relationships of the romantic type, far from it.
I knew that if and when I did take that leap of faith again, I wanted to ensure I would be the best me I could be for myself and for any future love interest, so when I did get into the love and romance scene again I knew I was mature enough and sensible enough to ensure that the aspects of my personality that may have been partly involved in my approach in the past wouldnt be there in the future, I accepted whilst I may have been in an abusive relationship, that was no reason for me to not take responsibillty for the choices I made in that time frame that possibly led me to that place to begin with, I wasnt excusing the ex, I was though making sure, I wouldnt attract the self same type to myself ever agian.
I felt that this is often the case, and I was certain I wouldnt be making the same mistake twice and to ensure this I needed to work on myself.
I accept that we can and often do get involved with the wrong type for us, if we work on our selves then the chances of this happening a 2nd time are diminished or lessened at the least.
I think that when we have ended any abusive relationship then we need time to heal, time to reflect and time to work on ourselves in order to ensure we dont go into a relationship blindly. So many women attract the same type of abusive partner again and again, if they had learned how to believe in themselves and whatever else they could have avoided making the same errors in judgement, although I can of course only speak from my own experience in this area, maybe its not always like this, but I felt and do feel that in order to improve ones chances of finding or attracting a partner who will have the same wants and needs and overall outlook that compliments our own then we would do well to do what we can to make this possible or more likely then.
Lets face it no one wants to keep on attracting loser types.
I am not going to tell you that the immediate future is going to be a walk in the park, its not some days youll laugh, others youll cry, youll see reminders of what was all over the place, youll hear a song on the radio and itll take you back to a happy time you shared with the ex, Dont switch it off, listen to it go through the emotions it invokes in you, they may hurt,but if you can make yourself go through them at that time, guess what, next time you hear that song, youll sing along with it.
You may have days of deep despair and loneliness, at those times you will have to do all you can to make yourself smile, but do make yourself smile even through the tears and the sadness, because the mind can only hold one thought at a time, so do all you can to make that a happy thought and youll find it lifts your mood almost instantly.
Theres much more I can hopefully tell you to help you get through this, for now though this is more than enough, dont want you having an info overload and blowing it do we. LOL
Baby steps is needed, walk then you can run, it may seem like a month from now is an eternity away, but its not. Youll heal and recover one day at a time theres no rush, the more slowly you take it all in the more lasting the maturing, if you try to do it all too fast you could miss out on a vital part of the lessons youre learning, so always take your time we all recover at varying speeds.
Anyway hope this helps.
Yes yes do go naked legged, get some fake tan and put that on them, but do that say today for best results, put one coat on let it dry leave till tomorrow or day before, then have shower or bath a good 2-3 hours before going out, and apply a 2nd coat of fake tan, always put on a moisturiser then fake tan, about an hour before you go out get a clean dry soft cloth and gently go over your legs with it lightly all a over, not too hard though, you only want to remove the excess lotion, and that should have your legs looking great and streak free. Always wear latex or rubber gloves when putting it on you dont want orange palms LOL, rub it in thoroughly, and wipe of any excess with clean cloth.
I almost always go bare legged, or Ill wear hold ups. I like the look of Christina in the video Dirrty, washed up of course but those micro mini skirts look great, wear a short skirt with a loose fitting top, have tissue or a hanky to wipe your face with when it gets all hot n sweaty.
Wear minimum amount of clothing but enough to be decent, or just then. Take few accessories, clutch bag is good lippy, and eyeliner. If youre wearing stilettos make sure you can walk in them they can get harder as the hours go by. LOL
Remember its hot in those clubs. Make sure youve got ID cos many now ask for it. Never ever let your drink out of your sight, EVER, you could end up with it spiked and you DONT want that, if you want to go loo, ask your friend to hold it dont ever leave it unnattended on the bar.
Arrange your ride home in advance to ensure you have one. dont wait until last minute to try booking a taxi they dont like picking up late at night unless booked in advance.
OK go enjoy and be good if you can't be good be careful.
Sock it to them big style WooHoo...
