Because we made eye contact and knew I was watching.
No I wasn't drunk when I approached her. It was not her date, he was my friend as well as hers.
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Because we made eye contact and knew I was watching.
No I wasn't drunk when I approached her. It was not her date, he was my friend as well as hers.
Well it was still a dumb thing to do and childish on her part as well.
You are not over her yet that's for sure.
What would you of done if you saw your ex of a long relationship hooking up with another guy. And your by yourself. I didn't know what to do, I thought it was right at the time.
I know I'm not completely over her, I'm not going to lie. I don't love her that's for sure but I still do care about her.
I would have walked away. I may have been hurting but I would not have given that person the satisfaction of knowing I was hurt.
What about what you did do you think was right? What did you think it would have proved?
You could have left, but you didn't. That's what I would have done if I couldn't IGNORE her.
But what will you do now, is the real question.
I tried ignoring but, I couldn't. I left after I broke it up. I realize it now I gave her the satisfaction she wanted. And I'm hating myself for doing so. I just thought it was right to break it up, I was feeling so much pain go through my body witnessing it. I think I proved to her that I still care about her, which obviously is what she wanted.
Right now I'm going to ignore everything. She's blocked on my Facebook so even if she does something I can't see it. She is blocked on my phone so can't get a hold of me. And I'm just going to keep going out meeting other people.
Prowaker, sorry but if my ex boyfriend behaved the way you did and went after the guy I wouldn't have anything to do with you at all, anymore. What did you get out of it? You were being childish, and abusive to someone else. I don't care who it was. She was right to block you on the phone, I would have done the same thing. But the difference between that, I would never stoop down to anyone to that level. IT's call pride and respect. You lost all your chances now, sorry but that's the truth. That behavior is ridicuolous!
Keep away from any contact with her, don't ask anybody about her, if someone wants to talk to you about her say "sorry I don't want to hear it"Quote:
Originally Posted by prowaker
Keep ignoring and meeting other people you will be fine, just don't jump into another relationship.
I'm sorry. I never had such a thing happen to me before, I didn't know what to do! I've been treating this girl so well for our whole relationship and for me to see something like that threw me off all right. I would never be abusive to her! Id never hit a girl. And I didn't hit him! All I did was break it up and talked to the guy afterwards. I got nothing out of it, just this huilt in my stomach knowing I did something wrong. I blocked her on the phone. What do you mean stoop down? Chances of what getting back together? Because I didn't want to any ways I just wanted to stay friends.
Have to spread the rep homegirl and talaniman.
I agree you should have left or ignored it, you only served to make yourself look foolish and no doubt your ex was feeling proud of her so say achievement.
Back off and if it happens again, leave...
Whilst you bite she is going to push your buttons, she's being childish and so are you by allowing her to take away your power.
Walk Tall and Proud don't succumb to her silly school girl antics...
Sorry prowaker, I don't mean to be hard on you, but your going about this all the wrong way. After you break-up its hard to be friends with someone when you were a couple together. You haven't even gave her any space to even miss you. Calling her and just being places where she is, doesn't help you. I am not saying stop your life an avoid her, but do you honesty think she will think much of you, when you behaved like that. Maybe it was the first time you lost it, but where did it get you. You let her win! That you still care, and that's what she wants. Show you don't care, don't text her, don't call her and actually stay away places she goes too. You have to take the bull by its horns. No one knows the future, but you hurting and chasing after her will push her away comletely. Think about it, if she did that to you how would you feel?
Yah thank you. I just don't know what's going on in my head. I never been through something like this and its an instinct to want to talk to her and be friends. I have been a complete mess since this happened and haven't been normal since.
I don't care what she thinks anymore this whole thing has been a trip to hell and I'm not even back yet. It feels like there's been a knife put into my back and someone is twisting it. I'm taking the bull by the horns but it throws me off.
What defines a persons true character, is how they deal with their mistakes, as we humans are bound to make them.
Acknowledge it, learn from it, and move on from it.
Next time you will do better. Go ahead, ask me how I know. I have made more than a few mistakes in my life, and honestly some where real stinkers.
But when life knocks you down, you get back up, and keep going.
Talaniman Rule-Never wallow in your own sh1t!
I am really doubting relationships now. Like you think you've found someone you want to be with unconditionally and they just tear you apart. Besides the whole dating thing her and I were best friends. I trusted her, I could be myself around her, I could tell her anything. I just don't really understand how someone could throw that away as easily as she's doing.
Trust me I'm learning. It's the pulling myself back up part that's hard..
Just because you feel an attachment to a person, it does not mean that person will always feel the same thing. You two were not on the same page.
You will find love again.
Update:
Haven't been on here in a while and wanted to update everyone.
So I didn't talk to her since this incident at the club. She tried a few days after it happened I didn't answer her phone calls, she called using friends numbers, anyway we started talking about what happened and we got into a heated argument and I called her names I never though I would have. After that we didn't talk its been 2 weeks? Anyway 2 days ago she texted me again asking if I hated her and thought she was what I called her.
I wasn't going to reply but I gave in unfortunately. So we talked that entire night about stuff and she apologized for what she did and I apologized for what I said. Then last night we talked on the phone for a good 2 3 hours. I'm completely over her as girlfriend / boyfriend perspective but I'm not ready to let go of her as a friend if she's willing to be friends with me. I still care for her (not as girlfriend but as a friend).
I know I shouldn't be talking to her period but she's not being a bi*** anymore towards me and we can actually have a decent conversation when we do have one. We talked about why we broke up and stuff and how we will like 99.999% not be going out again which I was fine with snd we agreed.
But if we do start talking more frequently and maybe even hanging out once and while I'm scared of 2 things; if we start seeing other people it will be hard for either one of us won't it. And secondly, I might start to get feelings for her or something. I know everyone is going to say go back to NC but can we pretend that's not an option.
I'd go back NC.
Yep, don't even think about being friends its only going to keep the feelings bubbling at the surface.
Go back to NC and let her go, you cannot be friends when you clearly still have feelings about her.
I'm quickly learning that NC is without a doubt the single most effective way of getting over someone... supplemented with new activities, friends and family...
Its only been less that 2 months, and you still are only doing things that don't help the healing process and you wouldn't even have to worry about the things you fear most after a proper healing,
Because you won't care what she is doing. That is the goal isn't it? Then maybe you can be friends and maybe good ones. You just don't want to wait and see, or be honest about it. Your fears are real, and happens often when people try to force a friendship, they are not ready for or willing to work for.Quote:
but if we do start talking more frequently and maybe even hanging out once and while I'm scared of 2 things; if we start seeing other people it will be hard for either one of us won't it. And secondly, I might start to get feelings for her or something.
I have no doubt when she starts to see others, or doesn't have time for you, you will be as devastated as when she dumped you. You have apologized to each other, now let go of the speculations, so you can heal properly.
With all of these fears you have it is obvious that you are not over her.
You two have now cleared the air, said what you need to say, now it's time to leave each other alone so you can heal and move on.
You need to let the wounds heal before you can even think about being friends. Doing so before this happens will just make both of you miserable. If you really care about yourself, and her for that matter, you need to give time a chance to work. If you don't, the "club incident" will keep repeating.
But why would she text me in the first place? Like I wasn't even thinking about messaging her. And she called me the night we talked for hours.
Because your in the friend zone and thinks that's what's going on and not your heart being trampled on.
You have allowed this to happen with no regard for being honest with yourself, or her. I understand all the feelings in so short of a time span. They can be overwhelming, and confusing, as well as misleading. But understand its you who have allowed her to do this and that's the question you honestly have to answer.
Why are you not allowing yourself to heal?
Why are you still worried about why she does what she does, and not ask that question of yourself??
What's your agenda? What's more important to you?
Id rather be in the friends zone than nothing...
I believe I was healed.. I don't care what she does and or am worried what she does!
I'm just confused on her actions, like she was a total bi*** to me and then she starts texting me when I was done with her.
You're lying to yourself.
Go back and read what you wrote today.
Regardless of why she is texting you, you need to not be in contact with her.
Now if you want to let her trample on your heart again, go ahead. If you are thinking maybe she likes me and I might have a chance, go ahead, but don't lie to yourself.
And these facts are not enough to make you ignore her and do for yourself, and stop accepting the crumbs of her company?? You sir are still in deep denial and haven't been hurt enough to be ready to do what it takes for you to recover from this.Quote:
Originally Posted by prowaker
Be warned that this course of action will continue to hurt, and hurt even more as time goes by.
Like most junkies who don't want to let go when they should, you have not reached your emotional rock bottom, and just want more of the same pain your addiction to her is giving you.
In that case, as with any junkie, let us know when your sick and tired, of being sick, and tired, so for now call her, and get your fix for today, and every day after that!! Your right, for a junkie, a litle dope is better than none.
I didn't call her today actually, I didn't even think about talking her. That's the thing.
I was wondering why she is texting and calling me that's where I'm confused! I'm not a junkie and I know your just telling me straight up. I have been hurt enough by this trust me I don't want to go through it again for weeks I didn't eat or sleep. I was deeply depressed.
Homegirl.
I know for a fact she doesn't like me, I will not be getting back together with her even if she begged. All I was wondering is why she would even be breaking the no contact with me 3 days ago. I wanted someone's opinion.
Have you ever asked her? Call her right now and get it from the horses mouth. Why not, why wait for her to do it again? Then we can put that to bed, and none of us has to assume the why's again. Nobody but her knows any way.
Then you need to ask her why she is doing it and then tell her to stop. Tell her you don't care to hear from her again. If she text, delete it without reading it. If she calls don't answer. You are the one in control.Quote:
Originally Posted by prowaker
OK I will do next time she tries to talk to me. I'm not going to start it.
Good man!
Don't let her play games with you.
I read the whole article about this. I have to say you are working really well and healing. You are in the right step and I'm very proud of you. Don't answer and ignore all message.
Hey everyone,
I haven't been on here in a long time! I've been living my life to fullest. Been having a blast. Since my last post I've had NO CONTACT with the ex or anything.
I started seeing another girl a few weeks ago, but that's going down hill. Ill tell the story, so I met her online. She was pretty nice and we met up a few times. We talked a lot texted and called. We were getting close. I was starting to get feelings for her and she was for me. We are both not into the dating scene right now which is totally understandable. Anyway, we were talking all the time and stuff. Then all of a sudden, this weekend she's been blowing me off. I was friends with her sister as well and they are tight so they talked all the time. So her sister texted me saying her phone is messes and that's why she hasn't been replying but that's bull because there's Facebook, msn like 100s of ways to communicate. And I sent her a message no reply on anything. So her sister said we were getting to close, which makes no sense to me. But whatever they come and they go right.
The problem about this girl I was actually starting to dig her and enjoyed spending time with her. She is much better than my ex! Like by far. Much nicer and appreciative.
I'm backing off going to go NC with her and see what happens.
Back to the ex. This Friday that just passed. It was about 1 in the morning and I got a call from her house the only reason I knew it was from there was because of caller id. I only answered because of 1 reason I was like what's going on. But apparently she hasn't matured one bit it was one of her little boyfriends trying to prank call me. I was like nice try *** hole I have caller id. F off I'm not putting up with this and hung up :)
Ps: not sure if I was supposed to start a new thread or continue this one.
Time does help
Glad your doing so well, and next time don't answer the exes calls and be done with it.
As to the new girl, she wasn't ready, so move to the next, if you want to, but watch the getting close to soon as a few weeks is to soon.
Remember -to much, to fast, crash, and burn.
You can stay on this thread, and update it whenever you please, and we may have to change the name, but its yours to come back to.
I think that's what it was too much to fast. Its just I was missing something you know. I opened up to her she opened up to me thought everything was well. But I don't understand because we both Didn't want a relationship. I don't know if she was just playing games with me or not but she was telling me she was missing me. She lived about 45 min away so we didn't see each other a lot she was also saying she liked me and stuff.
Oh well I'm just going to use what I learned a few months ago not text or call her or anything and see what happens.
Honestly, I'm a little upset only because I thought I was done with all this crap with girls I don't like getting played or getting caught up in mind games. And like I said I was starting to dig her we clicked.
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