I honestly am so upset right now that she did this, I can't believe it

Dude, I had a similar story, except in my case, the girl was in Dubai working, and I was trying to move there. The relationship suddenly collapsed. Anyway, your ex-girl seems to be immature, and what you are experiencing is her way of expressing her anger. Don't allow yourself to be hurt, or influenced by this recent rant and raving. It takes women a few weeks to calm down, and sort out their emotions.

Dude it is insane. I told her you are being immature and you said things to me that hurt. She responds by saying you said some hurtful stuff to, and I was like like what ? She responded by calling me immature
I was like are you kidding me

You ready for NC, and healing yet?? Or do you need more venting and ranting??

You sure don't need any more talking to her, that's for sure.

I know right, def need to get far away from her . Just the immaturity in how she acted in front of me killed me yesterday

Disappear from her life. You have a lot of healing, and moving on to do, and being stuck in the past is not healthy.

Why are you still talking to her? It's over! It's only detrimental to keep doing so. It is obvious that you still are talking. You have to stop responding just like she's doing. You say that you don't care and that she turned you off but yet seem affected by her reaction. You should not be upset it... Don't let it get to you... Stop talking to her

You need to stop dwelling on this, it's done. Move on.

Yup have stop contacting her even when she wrote to me today.
It just sucked that she reacted this to a break up initiated by her.


Thanks guys

We wish you well.

No good comes from beating a dead horse, just a waste of time and energy.

Life hands us lemons sometimes
When we expected apples.

Live and learn.

Sometime beating a dead horse is more fruitful than beating a dead relationship. At least you take your anger out on a "dead" horse.

I read this thread, can't believe she doesn't see what you did all this time

Lol thanks for your support bepositive1... It has mesmerized me as well

Guys I need a boost on self confidence. Have been NC almost a week, Today out of nowhere she write to me ans she says I hate you once more, I'm glad I am not with you and I hate everything about you and I wasted years absolutely

She sure knows which buttons to push to stir up your emotions doesn't she? No problem, throw the letter away, and have a good day, by treating yourself well, because now you have learned about the thin line between love and hate.

So what if she is mad? Make sure your NOT, why should you be? Her mood is her problem, so don't make it yours, and give in to provocative, impulsive actions.

Tempting I admit, but utterly a waste of time. Maybe she will get the hint and stop trying to provoke you.

It's a power play at most, or a rant at best, so focus on the good day you will have (and she won't!).

The NC is doing its work. She is seeing that she is not getting any attention from you, and is now frustrated. I agree with Tala, there is a very thin line between love and hate, and having observed this should encourage you to stick to the no contact. Don't let her pull you back in the discussion, and arguments.

I kept doing that and through out the day as I didn't respond to her she kept pushing more and more. She knew that I felt insecure about how I looked because I would tell her and she used that beautifully to hurt me even more. The stuff she said was utterly childish and just out of pure motive to hurt. Things like I never should have gone out with you, when we first started going out they looked at us and were like what is she doing with her, they would laugh at our pics because they saw how you looked and they thought you were hideous, ugly. Most of my friends thought that of you and I shouldve listened.
That really stung guys

Did you converse w/her?

Can't you see that any words from her are going to be hurtful.

Especially now.

She wants to come out smelling like roses & put you down for her insecurities.

Like lifeistough said. (if you are committed to it)
NC does its work. They expect the opposite. For you to come crying back.

NC is all about you being in charge now. When I say that, I mean ignoring her. Spending time on YOU not HER.

When I was struggling really bad, chuff (bless his heart) said. (and I will NEVER, EVER forget this):

The opposite of love isn't hate. Its indifference.

That's empowerment over any and all future BS.

You disappear, go missing. Oh, well...
She can make up her own story. Who cares.

You won't ever again let her decide who you are.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Ithappenstoall

I kept doing that and through out the day as i didnt respond to her she kept pushing more and more. She knew that i felt insecure about how i looked because i would tell her and she used that beautifully to hurt me even more. The stuff she said was utterly childish and just out of pure motive to hurt. Things like I never should have gone out with you, when we first started going out they looked at us and were like what is she doing with her, they would laugh at our pics because they saw how you looked and they thought you were hideous, ugly. Most of my friends thought that of you and I shouldve listened.
that really stung guys

---

Those are the words of a seriously insecure girl who is clawing for unsustainable ego boosting by tearing you down.

Yep. It hurt. So let it hurt. And let that p!ss you off and see her real self.

Its one thing to hope your ex wants you and wishes for you. Natural.

It is quite another to talk the way she has talked about you. I've dated a couple of women who were maybe "out of my league"... they never talked to me in this manner, not even in the crash and burn breakups, and if they had, itd surely solidify my resolve to not spend one more minute of attention on them.

A truly grounded person would not need to lash out like she did. Shed just put the past to the past and move on. Instead, she needs an audience to abuse.

Ick.

She is just mean. Its not more complicated than that. Sorry you are hurting. Hope you are able to take in her words, let them spill around for a while, and to channel the hurt and anger into just walking away from a train wreck.

Yup, its all about how we channel things. Embrace all of it.

Then our next move. That's how we become closer to becoming aware.

Let me put it this way, if you anyone else pulled that crap, anyone, you would say screw you. Not worth my time or effort.

You guys are right, and I know this. I just can't stand the pain she did to me, trying to hurt me when I know that all she said is lies and I tried to question her words by saying, who would say such a thing, I wouldve heard something before. This real made it worst for me in the sense of anger and pain

That pain is just in your head, thoughts.

Your brain is signaling. Entering all sorts off stuff. Translating it to more pain. Or whatever you allow.
Its up to you know to control it.

Dude, I dwelled on this one thing that my ex did before she dumped me for a long time. Still enters my head when I let it.

Now. I kind of laugh. Shrug it off. How deceitful it was.
Takes time.

You will get there.

You think that person is decent and that things you shared will remain good and not resort or come to this. The fact of using someone's insecurities to satisfy ones anger is shameful.
The pain is in my head, but what I am feeling is disgust, pure utter disgust. That someone would sink as low as to try and say anything to hurt

So use that disgust my man, Im disgusted too, by your ex.

Vent away.

After you let it, the dust will settle & you can look at this all in a different light.

The key is to enjoy yourself (even if you force yourself) & not dwell too hard.

Those things you neglected for her and others.

Don't neglect any fun opportunities in the process.

Get out. Start learning how to live w/o her. Remember, before?

How insecure are you?! Please stop this. This is getting ridiculous delete her off Facebook of another social network and end your means of communication. This is getting repetitive. Oerson's words should have absolutely no effect on you. Do us all a favor and stop talking to her. I'm sorry Im being rude and upfront but sometimes one needs to be confronted and that is exactly what I am doing. Stop saying that we are right without taking action. Do something, it's all in your hands, you're not handling it right. Get away from her!

Andy made a good post. Speaks to the irish serb temper in me.

Yes... I'm trying to spin a little on the understanding side... but at some point you do have to own the fact that you hurt not because she says mean things, but because you let yourself care about what she thinks of you.

I've lost three Big Loves in my life. The best day after I left? The day I listened to myself, stopped listening to the girl... stopped caring what she thought and wanted... stopped caring if she was missing me or not... et cetera.

So... andy speaks to my p!ssed off mode... where you finally get that you don't have to feel like crap because you don't have to care about what she says or thinks. Its fine you've had time invest and it might have meant something.

But now... right now... she is not interested in you. She's interested in herself.

Get mad. Angry. Frustrated. Sick. And then get tired of being mad and frustrated and angry. It gets boring. Fast. So... what she just said about you? Take it and instead of asking why she would hurt you like that ask who the hell wants to live with that? Spend another minute worry about that?

Expect it to hurt. To have up days and down days. But start to use the absurd thing your ex might say to keep cutting those ties.

In the end, you getting over her is all about you, not her. Don't feel like crap cause its hurting and not easy. But... you need first to stop wanting her, which starts with you seeing her for who she is... not who you think she was or could be... and then you finding your own footing. Sooner than later.

Takes time to stop wanting what you don't have and probably don't really want when you honestly look at how you are treated.

So... if you'd tell a buddy to tell her to P!ss off if he was being berated by her, well... why isn't that good enough for you.

At some point... if you keep caring and keep wondering and keep asking why... well, its because you choose to care for her. Rewire yourself. Walk. Leave. Done.