Buddy...

k...

Should we just stop posting and just loop the last week of posts over and over?

Cause a week ago I told you to watch the pattern...

She calls. You freak. She calls. You freak. She freaks. You breakdown and talk (and don't think I didn't see that you told her "if you want to work things out then we can talk").

You wind up posting here. Asking what to do. Nothing changes.

Yes, you seem to maybe be making some progress, but it is really a surprise that she still acts like, well, her?!

Cause she still IS the same person as before, just ticked off she can't manipulate you...

So...

I don't know... I think it is absolutely NO surprise to the people here on your thread that this keeps happening.

Are you really shocked? Like this is new behavior? Buddy... what the hell is new?

EXPECT

HER

TO

FLIP

OUT

AND

CAUSE

DRAMA

And please... please... stop asking why is she doing this? You've been told over and over and over.

You've been told its not pretty sometimes when a breakup goes bad.

So try a little bit harder to be patient. Try to expect from her nothng more than what you are getting (drama and noise) and try to appreciate how moving on from this is going to feel so much better in time.

But you can't teleport from here to there.

So suck it up and expect the worst from her and expect yourself to hold the line.

She is mad because you are trying to move on and that threatens her. Period.

And thank GOD that you are seeing this now before you spent months or years more on somebody who is so controlling and hateful.

By the way

I'm just b!tchy today...

But really... EXPECT the noise

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Originally Posted by kp2171

btw

im just b!tchy today...

but really... EXPECT the noise

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Look take the advice and stop asking why she is doing this. Who knows maybe she's a wants to see how long she can watch you hang on. I don't know what else to say. You keep asking we keep telling you what you should do! I'm sorry but it's like beating a dead horse.

I know I just realized that I am going in circles when she gets in contact with me, I don't mean to, it just happens. KP and Kitkat thank you for being upfront and tell me how it is. I need to know and see my faults. Its not that I'm not listening I am, you guys had really made me opened my eyes on seeing the kind of girl that she is. And I thank you for that, cause if I didn't stumble into this website I know I would be at her knees begging for her, and yes KP I am buying myself a backbone.

To let you guys know that it is getting easier to move on each day, I am getting used to doing the things I am now doing and it feels good. I want you guys to be truthful and you guys had been so thank you.

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I'm sorry but it's like beating a dead horse.

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it might sound like it but I am listening to what everyone's advice, just in the moment when she gets a contact with me I get lost and confused. Guess I'm not that strong yet, but I am stronger now then the first time I got here, so please be patient with me. I know you guys are frustrated but I am listening to every word that is put in this thread so thank you very much for the help.

If we come across as impatient,its probably because,to us,its easier to see what she's up to-we have no emotional investment in the situation.

As you are the one who came here asking for advice,we are trying to help you get past this as quickly as possible.

I'll say it again,onehundred %no contact will stop all this confusion.

Trust me on that one.

I know I have been doing that this past week, she called my cell phone with a different number and I can't change my # cause its also used for our business #. I'm not trying to contact her at all haven't even tried to pick up the phone and dial her number, it just when I got that call I was shock and didn't expect it to be her that's what happened.

When she sneaks back in to your life simply keep it short, polite, and be too busy, and unavailable, to be drawn into any conversations about her past, and don't let her use your confusion against you. That's best accomplished by not listening to her.

Leave the woman alone! Do you like being miserable? If you do let her do wahat she's doing. Get a leash and give it her and say, "okay baby, even though
you have cheated, lied and made me feel lower than dirt, I'm willing do be your little puppy, just to be around you". You might as well she might even let you come in out of the doghouse sometime when there's not another big dog in the picture! You need to stop whining and pull yourself together tell her she's not worth it! If your lucky IN TIME there will be a NICE girl who comes along and if you are still whining over this one, you'll miss the boat.

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I did keep the conversation short once I realize it was her

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That's a good step in the right direction, as she will get the hint sooner, or later. Meanwhile, I hope you're doing your best to getting a life that you enjoy. Then these out of the blue contacts won't shock you, confuse you, or throw you off, because they will have no meaning to you, nor will they even distract you from what you're doing for your own happiness.

Time is on your side if you're busy.

Move on and chalk this one up as a learning experience and you won't make the same mistake again.

Good Luck and Blessings

Yea I am moving on with my life, she had been trying hard to contact me this whole week but I have kept the no contact going. Its rough I know but its getting better and better everyday. And when the loneliness do come back I just expect it to happen like what kp2171 said welcome it when it comes. So that's what I have been doing, its weird though cause what I'm thinking now its different to how I was thinking before. Thank you all for finally opening up my eyes, I finally see that I am better of without her. I know I don't want to be with her anymore, its not worth my time. So again thank you for being here when I needed you guys, I'm taking this day by day and each day passes also my pain fades.

THANK YOU ALL VERY MUCH!!

Hey-you're very welcome.

Its seems you've turned the corner now-great.

Stick to NC and stay strong.

Glad to hear things are OK right now...

Like I said, expect it to cycle between highs and low... usually in time the swings become less severe.

And sometimes you just can't get out of your own head... but, again, that's just part of the process. Its easy to trust the process on the good days... its harder to believe its working on the rough ones... but that's when you remind yourself that healing isn't about burying or avoiding pain or hurt... its about working through it, and that usually takes longer than we would like

Showme... I'm so glad to hear from you. I can be very outspoken and very caustic at times. I only hope it helped and I'm so glad to hear you are doing better! I'm glad you posted again.

Hey everyone so I was doing so good on doing the NO CONTACT, but all day today I just started to miss her. I need you guys help on how to stop thinking about her, I just feel so alone and its pissing me off. I tried doing everything to stop thinking about her, but for some reason it just keeps coming back, I don't want to break the NC cause of this feelings. But for some reason its worse then before. Why is that? Why do you think this is happening. I really want to move on with my life but this feeling just hit me like a speeding train.

You know, coping with your feelings is mostly a matter of focus, and knowing yourself. I think when people get into a good routine, and have made a plan, then they know what to do, when they feel certain ways.

Ever wonder how you never trip, when your thinking good things, or doing things you like? But when we are bored or idle dong nothing, old memories creep up and stir old FEELINGS.

When I think bad things, or want to change my thoughts, I always do something physically, that changes the focus. Clean closets, polished shoes, change channels, anything to change the focus. (okay been awhile for those things, but you get my point).

This site is great when you can share experiences with others, and see what they are going through, and even know how they feel. I have noticed you answering other questions with some good, helpful advice, and I have to believe that helps a lot, and after a few hours of typing, I usually fall out, and I think so will you, so that's a start in the right direction. Just get busy when the thoughts get you down, and always have something good to do.

Stay strong man don't contact her. Re read your earlier posts about how you know your better off without her. As tine passes we are under the impression it's supposed to get easier but that's not always the case. Some days are really much harder as time goes on. But as for getting your mind off her, I know it's hard just keep trying to entertain yourself. I donno how old you are, but I'm 22, and when I think of my ex I just play some call of duty with friends, watch a movie like Rambo or something, and if sh keeps creeping up in your head, try and make yourself hate her. Instead of dwelling on good things, think about her not so good qualities. We are here for you pal

Your right talaniman, I usually get home late from working on my business. But today I wasn't that busy so I guess that's why I have this old feeling back. Its just so amazing how much power this feeling can have over you if you have no strength to handle it. I'm doing my best to not contact her and I haven't yet so thank you.

The_original I am doing my best to stay strong. Yea I know I am re reading my post, I just turn 23 this month and yea man just trying my best to cope with this emotions. Today was just the worst feeling for some reason. I don't know why. I did every thing I used to do when a thought of her comes but it was just to powerful. I'm better now, I guess it was just the moment I know I'm never going to get back out with her that's for sure. But when this emotion comes Its not so much getting back but just to hear from her you know what I'm saying. But thank you all for giving me this advice it really helped me from taking my mind of her.

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Originally Posted by Showme_urmove

your right talaniman, I usually get home late from working on my business. But today i wasnt that busy so i guess thats why i have this old feeling back. Its just so amazing how much power this feeling can have over you if you have no strength to handle it. I'm doing my best to not contact her and i havent yet so thank you.

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YOU can do it! I know you can! I have confidence in you although I have gotten mad at you. Please don't let yourself down nor the people here. I know you can stay strong! Good Luck Buddy:D

When those thoughts hit you-as they will on occasion,that's normal,like Tal said,get busy.

Have a backup plan.
Watch a comedy dvd,go for a run or come here and help out.

And know that those feelings will go away with time.

You're doing well,so pat yourself on the back.

Thank you amicon, yea that's what I have been doing Since I posted thread. I was just reading darkdays post, and when I got done reading it made me feel better to know that some one has it worst then I do. I have been keeping myself busy but today I wasn't really busy with the business so I guess I had a lot of free time for my mind to float away. I just hate, I hate her for making me feel this way. I know I'm better off though but just can't help my thoughts. Ohh one more, listening to break up music some how makes me feel better do you know any songs about breaking up.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Showme_urmove

thank you amicon, yea thats what i have been doing Since i posted thread. I was just reading darkdays post, and when i got done reading it made me feel better to know that some one has it worst then i do. I have been keeping myself busy but today i wasnt really busy with the business so i guess i had alot of free time for my mind to float away. I just hate, i hate her for making me feel this way. I know i'm better off though but just can't help my thoughts. Ohh one more, listening to break up music some how makes me feel better do you know any songs about breaking up.

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You are going to get through this show me. I'm counting on you!

Hey guys, so its been awhile since I had any contact with my ex, and plan to keep that forever. But here is a little dilemma, all this week I had my ups and downs but I was good so far, kept myself busy and did what I have to do to heal, then Saturday came and I got invited by my brother to go and party with him and all his frats and friends. When we got there, he had introduce me to this girl he was friends with, she was really cute and out going, smart and seems to get all her things together. Only one problem she has the same name as my ex. We both talked took lots of pictures and even invited me to dance with her. After they left I couldn't get her out my head, do you think she has any interest on me? Then all of a sudden I started missing my ex, then I woke up this morning still missing my ex, is this feeling normal, what do you think I should do, should I ask my bro for her number or ask him to hook us up together or should I just focus on myself till I heal completely. I really did had a good time but for some reason I still can't get my ex off my head while I talk to other girls. Other thing, if it is good for me to contact other girls, how can I contact her without her thinking weird about me. Do you think it's a good idea to get her number from my bro, or should I just have him tell her that I'm interested on her and I want to talk to her. What do you think I should be doing. Thanks a lot

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Showme_urmove

hey guys, so its been awhile since i had any contact with my ex, and plan to keep that forever. But here is a little dilemma, all this week i had my ups and downs but i was good so far, kept myself busy and did what i have to do to heal, then Saturday came and i got invited by my brother to go and party with him and all his frats and friends. when we got there, he had introduce me to this girl he was friends with, she was really cute and out going, smart and seems to get all her things together. only one problem she has the same name as my ex. We both talked took lots of pictures and even invited me to dance with her. after they left i couldnt get her out my head, do you think she has any interest on me? then all of a sudden i started missing my ex, then i woke up this morning still missing my ex, is this feeling normal, what do you think i should do, should i ask my bro for her number or ask him to hook us up together or should i just focus on myself till i heal completely. i really did had a good time but for some reason i still can't get my ex off my head while i talk to other girls. other thing, if it is good for me to contact other girls, how can i contact her without her thinking weird about me. do you think its a good idea to get her number from my bro, or should i just have him tell her that im interested on her and i want to talk to her. what do you think i should be doing. thanks alot

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Everyone goes through this as they get over someone! You can do it!

Your feelings are normal at this stage,its still a bit of a rollercoaster.

A word of advice-meet and get to know new people-but don't jump into a new relationship.

Rebounds are not a good thing.

Heal properly before you even start thinking of future relationships.

Thank you guys, yea I am seeing new people and I'm not jumping in a new relationship, I don't want any relationship for a long time but soemtimes I feel like I want a girlfriend. But I'm doing my best to heal the proper way. Thank you guys for being here and helping me heal, it is getting easier and easier each day.

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Originally Posted by Showme_urmove

thank you guys, yea i am seeing new people and im not jumping in a new relationship, i dont want any relationship for a long time but soemtimes i feel like i want a gf. But im doing my best to heal the proper way. thank you guys for being here and helping me heal, it is getting easier and easier each day.

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Glad to hear it! You can get through this! We're all here for you!:)

Thanks every one. I'm really moving on faster then I thought I would, Last night I had a dream about her on and off but for some reason I feel no pain, I don't even miss her when I woke up. Still feel a little lost every morning I wake up but the pain I feel is no longer there when I wake up. Thanks again everyone. Its almost been a month since she broke it off with me, and I'm healing faster then I thought I would. I still miss her here and there but not as bad as before. NO CONTACT does really work aslong as you apply it. For the new people that just got their heart broken, please take it from me, staying in contact with your ex doesn't make any better except it only makes you want her even more. Stay no contact its hard at first but when you continue with it, each day does gets better and better. I thought it wouldn't work at first but I was wrong, it takes time and patience and the longer you don't stay in contact with your ex the more you realized that you can do better. Like what KP said, there is a billion of girls here in this world one girl can only make you happy.

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Originally Posted by Showme_urmove

thanks every one. I'm really moving on faster then i thought i would, Last night i had a dream about her on and off but for some reason i feel no pain, i dont even miss her when i woke up. Still feel a little lost every morning i wake up but the pain i feel is no longer there when i wake up. Thanks again everyone. its almost been a month since she broke it off with me, and i'm healing faster then i thought i would. I still miss her here and there but not as bad as before. NO CONTACT does really work aslong as you apply it. For the new people that just got their heart broken, please take it from me, staying in contact with your ex doesnt make any better except it only makes you want her even more. Stay no contact its hard at first but when you continue with it, each day does gets better and better. I thought it wouldnt work at first but i was wrong, it takes time and patience and the longer you dont stay in contact with your ex the more you realized that you can do better. Like what what KP said, there is a billion of girls here in this world one girl can only make you happy.

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YEAH! WAY TO GO! Here is a big HUG:D

Good work-keep going-stay around,you give good advice and are helping others-way to go!

Hey every one so here is an update. Around 12:57 Am I got the same text twice from my ex saying "its funny how you say you love me but do nothing to prove it well have a nice life and iam done waiting goodbye glen now all we have are memories goodbye:)" I don't get what she is trying to do. When I got that text so mad I want to text her back and say I want to fight for us, but that was just my emotion at the moment, so I didn't and I stop and think and I feel good. I am continuing to do NC and I will always, I don't want to be her friend now or forever, I am finally having my life. I just want to ask why do you think she did that, I don't get it. Just a question that's been going through my mind. I feel better but still I have her on my mind on and off but not as bad. Thanks again to all of you, if I didn't found this site I know I would jump in her trap and get myself hurt really bad. So thank you, I really do appreciate all your help

Glen,keep ignoring her-mindgames and she is frustrated because you don't bite.

Goodbye forever,she already said that,sorry,but one word comes to mind,loser.

You're well rid of her.

Thanks amicon yea I know she said that many times, it sucks cause when I get that text it makes my heart jump. But I am doing better then ever. I don't know why she's doing that mindgames. Does she have a life, why does she have to bother me.

She 's a manipulative controlfreak,that's why.

Can you change your number?

Or block her.

I tried but my phone company don't have it in their system for some reason, I can't change my # cause its also a business #. I can see that cause her mom is very manipulative and a controlfreak over her. Can she get that trait from her mother?

Possibly-children learne from their parents,I guess.

Can you change your actual cell,some come with a block function.

Haha man women love it when you ignore them... it's kind of funny actually once they lose the power. Staying NC was the best decision of your break up man, because as you said in my thread, it would have been reset back to day 1... and now you have some power and she is losing hers... it should put a smile on your face. I don't know how many other threads I have read where people break NC... think they are doing the right thing, only to realize they made things worse, and thus feel worse (myself included)

You give us all hope... wheres emopunk he needs to read more threads like this

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Originally Posted by the_original

haha man women love it when you ignore them...it's kinda funny actually once they lose the power. staying NC was the best decision of your break up man, because as you said in my thread, it would have been reset back to day 1....and now you have some power and she is losing hers.....it should put a smile on your face. I dont know how many other threads i have read where people break NC....think they are doing the right thing, only to realize they made things worse, and thus feel worse (myself included)

you give us all hope....wheres emopunk he needs to read more threads like this

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Good for you!! You are doing great! Proud of you!:)

Hey everyone so here is an update about my ex. She change her number and called me, I was surprised that it was her, its been awhile since she tried contacting me. Again I have done no contact and all I've been trying to do is move on with my life. Will here's what happened, We were both talking and she said that she misses me a lot and that she still do love me, and that she wants to work things out, while we were both talking she told me if I still have her things. When she moved out, some of her things was still in my house, so I gathered them all and put it in the box, anyway I drop off her things and I thought it was just a hi and bye, she got in the car and then started crying, she was saying that she misses that old times and that we both had been through a lot. She said that she wants to talk more and work things out so we can get back together. After I had done the NC she is doing her best to get incontact with me, I know you guys are going to get mad but part of me do want to talk and work out the issues that broke us apart, and part of me just don't want to deal with her and just to move on.

Do you think if two people talk and tried fixing the issues that it can work out for the best? or is it just all a fantasy. I have not done anything to contact her, she had sent me a text here and there before, and I didn't replied. Do you think she's playing this mind games or did she really realized what she lost. If you guys can be honest and don't hold back with your advice I would highly appreciate it.
Thank you for taking your time to read my post.