LOL.. You're right, vanheart. I feel like I was cheated for almost 2 years. How could I not see her true colors before that? Yet, I kind of, sort of worship her even after she dumped me in a very nasty way. And this is what I get in return? How wonderful! I don't know what she's trying to prove but certainly she no longer have the upper hand. Yes, she can throw it, take a pic of it and trying to tell me via myspace "Look, I don't care!". Well, I do feel the pinch but that's all. Not that I will cry over it like I used to. I'm just wondering how could someone be this bitter? After all, she has moved on and we are all adults. Can't we handle this in more civil way? My intention was just to help, that's all. Can't she get it? I hope I can hear some comments from a woman's perspective. Not because I want to analyze but I just want to understand why would someone want to do that?

Seems like you have some expectations after the fact. And another kind gesture got squashed. Not sure why you are so concerned with her bitterness. I bet you already got a taste of that before & denied it.

Like you said you are now seeing her true colors. Use what you are learning to discover some things about yourself & use them later.

You should never worship someone. Especially when they abuse you.

I don't even know why her bitterness kind of get me. I've never been treated like a crap in my entire life. Not before she came and ruined it. Worse, broadcasting it this time. But I'm not going to let her take away my dignity anymore. I'm glad that some of our mutul friends who knew what's going on between us stood by me. ROFL. Again, I find it crazy and childish for doing that. Looks like she looking for some revenge. Well, emotionally. Otherwise, she won't be posting it up. I'm sure she wants me to feel something. Hurt and depress perhaps? But I had worse in the past and I'm beginning to feel numb. It's good that she's behaving like this. It does help me to speed up the healing process.

What you say is true.

My ex did some hurtful things too. Of course she wants to continue the pain, abusers do that until they find someone else to take their sh**t.

Once you get out of the habit, things will become clearer.

Try not to spend too much time on her childness, some people need to grow up. Others never will.

Glad you have some supporters. Use them.

You are doing the right thing by being in control.

You will look back at this as a nice life lesson and smirk.

I'll let the ladies pipe in now if that's what you're after...

It doesn't take someone with two X chromosomes to see that your ex is immature and possibly mentally unstable. She physically assaulted and abused you - that's all I need to know! I can find a billion other different things I'd rather be doing than trying to understand the motives of someone who does not think or act rationally or mature. Accept her actions for what they are and try not to care her reasons - because in reality it doesn't matter!

I'm glad to hear that it is speeding up your healing process though - you're finally beginning to see what she's truly all about.

She only has/had the power over you that you are/were willing to hand over to her. Once you have completely understood that nothing she has said.says or ever will say,matters in your life,you'll have no reason to ever bother thinking about her again.

Not to mention the slapping & choking.

If someone else treated you like this, what would you do?

Go back & listen to what Ducky said. I already copied that one for myself.

Sounds like it time to do some work on yourself.

You're right. Guess it's time to work on myself. And nope, I'm not going to let her make me feel inferior anymore. I should have listened to you guys not to buy the facial stuff. Again and again, she's trying to take away my dignity. I'm not going to let her rip it off that easily anymore. Not this time or next.

It's really a good lesson. I would never expect the sweetest girl I've met would hate me to this extend. Ahh well, I guess it is best to leave it as it is now. Still in my mind, I was doing it out of courtesy without no intention of getting back at all. Never mind. If she doesn't appreciate it, then let it be. Well, she threw away all the toys I gave her during our dating days together with the facial stuff. I must say it was a 'Nice Pic!'. ROFL. Seriously, I don't hate her for what she puts me through. It makes me a stronger man. I'll never ever repeat the same mistake again. Do I still love her? Maybe yes, maybe no. I just can't explain my feelings right now. It's kind of numb. I'm a human, though she doesn't treat me like one. Do I still want her back? Definitely not. We're just not meant to be.

I've noticed that the more I want to know the hatred she carries in her heart, the more uneasy my heart is. It's not pain. Just uneasy. Maybe because I didn't expect my ex would turn out to be so cruel and mean when all the time she was sweet when we were friends and during our dating days. Could this be the reason why?

No one expects it.

Once again, stop looking for reasons.

Accept it and work on yourself.

Don't worry about her feelings anymore.

I agree that I have to work on myself... A lot. I threw away one of her gifts, which I will never do in the past because I will keep every single thing she gaves me including notes in a safe place. Although I could feel the pinch, but I know I just got to do it. Otherwise, I will not be able to let go completely. I'm not sure what I want to do with the rest of the gifts because I think I could feel the pain when I see it. Not much, just little. So, I will choose not to look at it now. I must learn to live in the present moment. Yes, she no longer loves me and hates me very much but I've learned that I do not have control over this. I wish I could just turn back the clock and undo all these pains. I'd rather remain friends with her instead of dating her. It was my mistake. I should never date a friend.

The really good thing about relationships is that they teach us a lot about ourselves!
You know, you should bin the lot-gifts,notes-everything.
You'll feel much better for it.

I really wish I could have an answer for this. Please guys, fill me in... My ex moved one block away from my place! Yes, it's a nightmare! How am I supposed to go through the full recovery road when she is so freaking near? I tried to ignore her many many times and kept reminding myself what she had done to me, the physical injuries she caused me in the past with deep bruises and cuts. I'm beginning to feel uncomfortable and I find her voice pretty much annoying. I don't know if I still love her but it definitely stings when I see her or hear her voice. I do not want to go back to where I was back then, full of panic attacks and insecurity. I want to let go completely. I want her out of my life. I don't think running into her everyday will help in my recovery. Guys, please tell me what should I do?

Ignore her.
You have a right to your home and to feel safe and comfortable where you are.
You are in charge of your life,your comings and goings-nobody else is.
Be the strong man that you know you are.

Boy, this is a good test right here. Weird, yes & probably not without some sick motive.

What do you want?

For me, if that happened, well, I for sure wouldn't move or stay in.
Go amongst your business. The less you worry about her, the better.

Resist all temptations to go backwards or let her proximity suck you in.

If you see her, say hi, then split. Or ignore her (even better)

Remember that she is a user & abuser looking to victimize.

Screw it. Start not giving a crap about what she does.

Amicon & Vanheart, I'm really scared that I will start to care about what's going on in her life, which I really do not want to. I really really really do not want to. I hate to be in the panic mode like I used to. When we were dating, she tried not to go online even if I asked her to. But ever since we split, she will either hang on to her messengers or other networking sites. Not to be missed, her new found boyfriend and party. I feel so uncomfortable now. I'm afraid those feelings will rush in again. :(

Doesn't seem like you really, really, really, really want to.

Don't be a wuss.

Scared? Geez. Vampires too?

I can't say that I have completely healed. And with her moving a block away makes it even harder for me to complete the journey. It's beginning to tear me apart. I guess the only way for me to get over is to move away. I could feel the pressure... :(

This is the test you were waiting for (& dreading)

We all take 'em.

Up to you to pass.

Move away? Then she wins & is in control.

You post, but don't listen. Start.

Get over her? She screwed you & abused you. What more do you need?

Vanheart - thanks for the slap! I seriously need that because I can't seem to control myself. It's like getting out of hand. :(

Don't let it. She doesn't matter.

You can control yourself.
She can't control you.

Keeping reminding yourself how abusive she was. You are much better off without her. Ignore her! You can't honestly have any feelings for her, after what she did to you. No one deserves that kind of treatment.

I know she was abusive, but somehow I have forgiven her. Well, she has recently untagged all her pictures. Each time she does this kind of act, I will feel the pinch but then again there's nothing I can do. Seriously, I don't mind to have her as my friend again. But I know I will make a fool out of myself if I walk to her trying to shake her hands. :(

Get a piece of paper, write out all the reasons you left, why you don't want to be affected by her, and why this isn't good for you.

Keep it simple, and put it on your fridge, with a copy in your pocket. Memorize it.

When you feel weak, read it.

You really have to control yourself. This is way beyond her, it is about you. As long as you keep thinking there is some sort of control there, meaning her control over you causing you do fall back, you will never move forward.

She is only human. She cannot cast spells, or strike you with lightening, she cannot control your thoughts and actions. She can't determine or predict when your paths will cross, and she cannot harm you in any way, shape, or form.

Everything you worry about has to do with how she affects you still.

That is a bit weird. Worrying about or predicting things that probably won't happen, and spinning around thinking your life is going to be upside down again, is not thinking clearly.

I hope you are continuing with therapy. You have to let these thoughts go, or at least learn that the thoughts you have of her influence in your life.to such a huge degree.

Jake, I've written it down and will keep it with me all the time. I just can't seem to stop thinking about her.. revisiting the past. It would have been a smooth healing journey if she didn't move around here. Seeing her so happy, dressing up, looking good really kills me. I could hear her laughter. Every now and then I run into her. My heart seems so uncomfortable now. I could barely sleep. I really wish that I could just delete those memories from my head just like that. I keep telling myself that I got to be in control but I'm lying here like a dead puppy. I don't know how to explain this feeling but it is definitely awful. :'(

Once you let go of the hold you think she has on you, that's when things will change.

After all, she doesn't care, why should you?

Let her dress up & laugh. I suggest you do the same.

I feel like I'm going to break down and cry. I really tried my best to move on and I thought I will be reaching the finishing line soon. Sadly, that isn't that case and I feel like a crap now. :(

You got to give it time.
And get off your a$$ & have the will & work at it.

Getting dumped sucks, but not the end of the world.

What's sucks is wallowing. One day a switch will hopefully do off in your head & you will say, "I'm sick of this." And move forward & learn.

I'm trying, I'm really trying. But she is way too close and I don't want to see who she talks to or run into her. I saw her chatting up with some dude yesterday. Ouch! Well, she wasn't that socialize. Anyway... she has changed a lot since the split. I guess I have to hunt for rooms... I seriously can't take it any longer. :(. It is eating me up :(

Sounds like your focus is on her, not you.

Change that. What's stopping you now?

You shouldn't care & occupy your thoughts & actions for someone that isn't willing to do the same. She used & abused you & now your feeling the repercussions. And her moving is only to put you down even more.

Screw that. She isn't worth another moment of your time, unless you use it for your benefit.

Thanks, vanheart. I think the problem is I still love her somehow. I can't be 100% sure. I thought I had that scrapped off. I could be wrong. But I guess the feelings started to rush in when she moved around the block and I will find my tears park behind my eyes whenever she crosses my mind. I tried not to look at her when she passed me by. I've always have my iPod on so that I will not hear her voice or laughter. I know I should start to focus on myself again. But I'm beginning to get weak inside. I think I'm lost again. I was okay up until she moved in. I'm crushed, torn and broken. :(.

Don't be-make some plans-things to look forward to-do things that make you feel good.
Could you go away for a short break?

I'm planning for a short break but it won't be that soon. I'm beginning to lose my appetite. This is a bad news for me. I've jogged for months where I almost reach the finishing line and now look where I am... sort of back to square one. Running into her everyday really makes my heart sore. Looking at her living happily with the new man makes me sad. What have I done to deserve all these misery? :(. She can throw all my gifts, put it up on myspace... I don't care. But why does she need to move in so close? :(

I don't know why she moved to where she did-the thing is it's not something you should let worry you.
It doesn't matter where she lives-the relationship is over.

Don't make this the be all and end all-get your life back.

Don't allow yourself to wallow in this misery anylonger.

Why does she have to move so close? Honestly, who cares!

Sure, it could be part of some elaborate plan to torture you, make your life miserable, and haunt you but seriously bud, the reality is she probably has better stuff to do in her life than worry about YOU. Her life is her own now and your life is your own as well.

In my world, believing is seeing. What you believe shapes your reality and how you view your life. Sure, everyone has a bad day once in awhile and during the healing process you're going to have more bad days in the beginning - that's perfectly fine. But all I see is negativity in your thought process and your posts. Start thinking and believing that the fact that you're no longer with her is the best thing that could have happened to you - and it will be! Make an honest effort to start looking at the bright side of every situation, no matter how insignificant that bright side may be.

Say you bump your knee on a table and it hurts like hell - well, you may have noticed if you get bumped on another part of your body all of a sudden your knee won't hurt as much? What you need to do right now is something similar - except to your mind. Go out, have fun with friends. Find a video game you can get lost into. There are dozens of things YOU can do to keep your mind off her. Yes this is the tough part, but it gets better.

If you need additional ideas or suggestions, just ask.

I've just gone to my Facebook and removed all her pictures. I saw her walking with her new found man this morning. I hate what I see and feel. Why can't she just disappear from my life? I just can't seem to understand how can a person moved on so fast. :(

Please reread the advice you've been given the last couple of days-and let it sink in.

Ya know, tragedy (btw, this isn't a tragedy, is a blessing that you don't recognize yet)

When I was suffering, desperate and posting, I looked back, even printed pages & pages of responses and took them with me to read over and over.
To the beach, coffee shops, etc..

Take some serious heed in the advice. People here have felt similar pain & anxiety.

Yeah it sucks that you have to see her, but put that in your skillset. Seeing her with her new boyfriend will end up being another reason to move on.

There's other people out there, remember. Ones that are just up your alley.