Ask Me Help Desk - NC Rules and FAQ's

Rome,

Been really hurting for the last few weeks but this post is simply fantastic. Thank you :)

My girlfriend and I broke up a couple of days ago. A couple of weeks ago she lent me some money when I was in a tight spot. I haven't paid her back yet, but I want to do so as soon as possible. Preferably this week.

The conversation was over the phone and during the call she asked me about the money. She told me she didn't expect it all at once, but I want to try and pay her back in one shot to get it over with. She told me to call her Thursday when I get paid and let her know how much I'm giving her and to set up when and how I'm getting it to her.

My question is, I want to start NC, well I have already, but I would be breaking NC by calling her. Should I just get everything squared away and start NC after that?

Do you have someone that could give the money to her? Or perhaps get a money order and send it to her through the mail

Yes dear pay back the money and start n.c for a while until you feel you are over her. In my situation n.c help me to get over my ex and now my ex is the one who try to contact me all the time.I still feel love for him but it is to late because I seen some who is intrested and want marry me.I still keep a friend ship with ex.so contiue n.c.untill you feel strong thing will be OK.it is not easy until you try and decide to get over her.good luck

I have a question... ill start my NC today and I don't know if I should delete her from my Facebook and my myspace pages.. wouldn't she think I'm trying to ignore her by forgeting her and finding someone else?. cause before when she broke up with me I told her that I did accept her decision but I would be always there by her side in case she regrets it or even if she just feels down or needs me for anything.. yeah I know I shouldn't have said that, I know... but can anyone tell me if I should just delete her and if so for how long? Because once I delete her from my friendslist she won't be able to contact me at all regardless if she wants to apologize or even if she wants me back

Quote:

Originally Posted by tizzy50

i have a question... ill start my NC today and i dont know if i should delete her from my facebook and my myspace pages.. wouldnt she think im trying to ignore her by forgeting her and finding someone else?... cause before when she broke up with me i told her that i did accept her decision but i would be always there by her side in case she regrets it or even if she just feels down or needs me for anything.. yeah i know i shouldnt have said that, i know... but can anyone tell me if i should just delete her and if so for how long? because once i delete her from my friendslist she wont be able to contact me at all regardless if she wants to apologize or even if she wants me back

YES you delete her because otherwise you won't last with No Contact. You'll be continually checking to see what she's doing and that'll just leave you stuck at square one. Stating that she won't be able to contact you already shows you have false hope and you really want her to , that's not how No Contact works , and if you don't do it properly your healing process will just linger on forever.

When you are completely over her , which will take some time and won't be easy , you can reinstate her if you like , but you'll find when that time comes you won't even want to.

I suggest you start your own thread , you will get a lot more people to help you through the journey , and it helps you vent and get stuff off your chest instead of having the temptation to contact her.

Good Luck!

Well.. I don't have time right this second to scan through all the pages of replies.. but ty for the post and I'd like to ask that you post something about how to handle NC when there's back and forth custody involved(shared custody every 3 weeks or so) thanks again!

With the shared custody, you simply keep it about the children, no "how's life" chat or anything. You simply keep it civil in front of the children for their sake and then you move on after the pick up or drop off the children takes place.