Pat, I'm so sorry for your hurt but it is time to cut this noose off. 6 years is a loooong time to be with someone and I don't think you will ever really "get over it". But, she has obviously moved on, without even breaking to contact you! So, you must move on, yourself, Pat. As hard as it will be, you are putting yourself through this pain by staying "updated" about her.

Keep the memories, keep the love, but cut this noose loose and move on, Pat. Live your life. Open yourself up for love. Meet new people. You WILL be fine. I wish you strength and courage.

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Originally Posted by PatBateman

For those of you who don't know my story, my girlfriend of 6 years broke up with me about 4 months ago. The reason for our break-up was because I wasn't treating her as well as I should have, which made her realize that she was young and didn't deserve to be tied down to a relationship that required so much work. We were 16 when we met. Her decision was for her own good, and I know that.

I've tried to contact her many times intially, but later gave up and followed the no contact rule. I even found myself in a rebound relationship which quickly died out. I still miss my ex though, and her birthday is in 4 days. I want to call her...

Advice?

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Man, I'm on your shoes, but the only difference is that, it was for 2 years, and the breakup was hard as hell and really bad. First I tried to contact her initially, but she didn't respond for 2 months or so. Than one day, she sent me a message. It was what I really wanted, only a contact, nothing more. All what we got now is a kind of "friendship" since 6 months, and it was what she wanted too. I respected that wish of her, although I know it will never be the same between us. But in the end, I didn't lost my lover and my friend too. Im not expecting anything more from her. At least we both have the communication open. Life is just unexpected. Who knows, maybe one day she may value your good side, or better, she may not found someone better than you, and with that time those bad feelings of her, will vanish, and flee away, and she will begin to miss the times you had together. Its not said that there is a limit time for the missing. I missed the good days, after 3 years or so. But it was too late. Without a contact, it will stay always like that. Strangers to each other. I would like to say, that I appreciate your wishes for your ex, and I would suggest. Go for it. I was in the same shoes, and I came here asking these people, for 2 months, and everyone said me, forget her, leave her, she is not good, you are not good, its not worth, etc. Im not saying they are wrong, but they just don't know the answers. The only answer stayes in your heart. In the end, what do you have to lose? You are already lost, and if one more try (this wish for her birthday), will make the things worse, so be it. But at least you won't have to ask yourself the whole life "why didnt i sent her that wish?". At least, you are showing careness, and you are telling her that, whatever happened, she still remains important for you. Keep it short, you don't want anything more, but to wish her the birthday! Otherwise, she may think you are manipulating her that she owns you the same wish on your birthday, and people usually think the worse side of a situation, after the breakup. And don't forget, you have been together for so long, and no one can give you the answer, except you.