I know I should but he's hurt me enough for me to know that I would NEVER call him. So I leave for Dominican on SUnday! I'm excited enough but I still feel really $h*tty about all of this. Him and I were supposed to go away for New Year's, doesn't look like that that's happening though. My birthday is on Thursday, why do I want him to call me? This is all still pretty freash and I wake up every morning with so many questions, questions thaqt haer unfve been answered but still haven'tt sunk in to my thick skull. He doesn't want me, he doesn't want to be with me, ( we did have fun together many times and our sex was amazing) I just still love him annd miss him dearly. He will ne never find someone like me who can love and care for him like I did or could have. Sad sad story.

The first month of NC is really hard. You will have all sorts of emotions and feelings going through your head right now. This is just your mind healing itself. The mornings and the nights will be rough as well. That's why YOU NEED TO STAY BUSY. The trip to the Dominican is GREAT. You need to acknowledge your new freedom and LET LOOSE.

Remember, you cannot act on these feelings to contact him. Nothing will come out of it except MORE pain and hurt.

Be strong!! These feelings will pass and you will find how strong and independent you can be on your own. That alone will be enough to attract a guy much, MUCH more suited for you.

Stay Strong!

Maybe he wasn`t suited for me. I am outgoing and lovable person who likes to go out and have fun, all he ever wanted to do was sit home and watch sports, never wanted to go to a c lub or bar to be social, but I fell in love with him. I appreciated that he didn`t want to go out and spend his money frivoulously. I mean we are two different people, but opposites attract right. I feel like .

Like my whole world has crumbled around me. I have great friends and a family that loves me dearly. He didn`t want to be apart of that. That makes me sad. He judged me and my family, we are no Brady bunch that`s for sure, but we do have love for each other. He said Ì`ll always have love for you, I don`t want him to even do that!

This guy was OBVIOUSLY not suited for you. You have completely different interests than he does. You want to go have fun... while he wants to sit at home like a worthless bump on a log.

I can guarantee you will find someone MUCH better than him.

Plus, don't ever let someone judge you and your family. Your family is there for you NO MATTER WHAT, unlike this a$$.

Your much better than him and you will find someone much better than him... I promise.:)

Maybe I will find much better, but it`s him that I want. I can still go out and have fun without hi. I don`t know all I know is that my heart hurts and I can`t help to always think of him and want to be with him. He doesn`t want that nor does he want me and that sucks. I can`t control what he feels or thinks but he left so abruptly and so harsh. I feel insulted and all the great things I ever did for him and his family don`t amount to nothing. He said all the times we fought take over all that, so mean and hurtful. I doidn`t deserve thaT . Who knows if he will ever call me or regret what he`s done. Maybe he doesn`t even know the answer to that. His parents ¸getting divorced in the next month and that is going to hurt him so much. I know how he feels about it and he`s not going to do too well with that. I feel bad for him and I don`t want him to go through that alone:(

I know it`s not my problem, I just feel bad. I`ve done it, it`s not easy to do, especially alone

Well.. you have to let him handle this on his own. Don't let him put the burden of his family issues on you.

You may not see it right now, but YOU WILL FIND BETTER. You know what you want and it's not him! You have to believe that. Don't keep thinking about the past.. it's called moving on for a reason. You move FORWARD from the pain and suffering and become stronger

In times like these you must listen to your HEAD, not your heart. You already know what you have to do...so it's time to be a strong woman, pick your heart up off the floor, STOP DWELLING, and carry on with out him. You also need to start talking about this with your family and friends... they are there to support you.

They are but I find that they tell me what I want to hear at times, afraid of hurting my feelings. I need an objective view, someone who is not so emotionally attached to me, that`s why I`m hear and venting as I`m sure my fam is sick of hearing about this. Thank you for taking the time to understnd how I feel and giving me your advice. It meanss so much. I thought he was thew one, we talked about family, kids, long life together. Now, back to square one. I have so many feelings running through my head and I have these weird nightmares, often not being able o fall asleep after. I wish this wasn`t happening to me and I wis that we could be together but it`s not going to happen. Brutal.

Well.. you need to stop thinking about him.

You need to go out and find something to do to occupy your time and your mind.

Maybe try joining a club or a gym. After my ex broke up with me, I enrolled in Martial Arts and joined a gym. So during the week I do stuff at work then either go to the gym or Taekwondo class. The intense workouts really drain me so by the time I get home I just want to relax and fall asleep. Plus, I can't argue with the fact that I am really getting in shape.:D

Good for you! I wish you all the best. Keep up the good work:)

You can do the same you know? It is easy to lay around in self pitty questioning the world, but that gets you no where. Time to pick yourself up and get moving!

Hey, there you are. I know and 'm doing my best I can. I got my test results back and got 97%. Just think had I not been thinking of him I would have got 100. I just feel like, well you know how I feel, not goo, but getting better. Those damn nightmares won't ease though. I know they will with time.

You think I would leave you forever?? Come on kid... That is awesome on the test. You are a stud! There is no way I could have taken a test after my break up... The nightmares will come and go, but then you wake up, look in the mirror and realize that you are still there and have so much to offer some lucky guy! Time will be your best friend right now, and this website.

:) Hey, hope you're doing well today! Question: If he doesn't call does that make him a coward?

And winner winner chicken dinner? What does that mean??

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Sherin333

And winner winner chicken dinner? What does that mean ?????

---

It is from a movie called "21" with Kevin Spacey.

If he doesn't call... it doesn't matter! The time is now for you to stop questiong him and start questioning yourself... as in why in the hell do you still care? I know you love him, but he is probably out having the time of his life right now... why shouldn't you be enjoying yourself and making yourself happy. Let me ask you an honest question: When was the last time you thought about yourself?

Honestly. I think about myself more and more and I do see a big improvement. But when him and I were together, yes I puthim first, I shouldn't have done that and maybe that one of the reasons I am in this situation. I do love myself, but I often even before him had a hard time enjoying my own company, I always need to be around people. Been like that since I was a kid. Not to mention my parents divorce really f$#@ed me up. I know now that I must never put anyone before me because at the end of th day or the relatuionship for that mtter, I 'm the only one I've got! By the way he is not having the time of his life, I think he is oing the exat same thing as before, just without me.

Well, one of you should be having the time of their life... might as well be you first huh?

I suppose. It is a definite that between him and I am the more spontaneous and active of the two. I just miss him and I miss him. He knows that I want him and it kills that he doesn't give two rats asses!

So I leave for my trip tonight. Getting excited! BUt not really. I had a pretty solid sleep though. My friend took me out for my birthday dinner last night and that was nice. I still don't get ithis break up thing though. ( I know tiger you'll probably want to shake me)lolbut.. I think the thing that gets me the most is that we are not on good terms. Of course I know NC NC NC and I have no plans on breaking that by no means but, I don't feel comfortable talking to him even if he did call and he probably feels the same way. We were together for a long time and to cut somebody out of your life like that is horrible. I feel horrible, I'm doing things for myself and I feel good, but I miss him like the deserts missthe rain. I feel like I'm being punished. I am by no means an angel but we could have worked this out. We had fun together and as days go by I seem to think ofd the good times opposed to the rotten times. I have no idea what he is thinking, or doing, or with, and yes many would say that I shouldn't care, but like he felt he couldn't change the way he felt about me, this feeling I have is not going away. It maybe will but brutal in the meantime. I wish things were differerent, I wish I could have changed the way things went down, I mean we spent the whole weekend together and then when I went home on Monday he decides not to call me, and when I do he tells me he was trying to avoid this, That's utter bull$hit. I was with you for two years, we shared everything, and now you try to avoid breaking my heart? Is that coward or what? What is the definition of coward? Someone who doesn't want to face the music? Someone who is hiding something? Someone who simply doesn't give a ? Anyway. I'm going on my trip with all inten to bask in the sun, swim in the ocean, and forget about this world I live in. But... it will all be here for me waiting when I get back. I can run from having to go to school, or needing to go to work but I CAN NOT run away from my heart!

Quote:

---

I CAN NOT run away from my heart!

---

You don't have to run from your heart, as you're a human being with feelings. You do have to learn to cope with your feelings, and what life throws at you, we all do.

Its called growing pains. We all go through it, and grow from the experience.

Your turn!

So, I'm back. I had an amazing time! The people, the foofd, and the DANCE. I loved it, I wish I could live there on the resort with these people. What a beautiful beautiful place. VIK Areans Blancas Resort, Punta Cana, Dominicana Republica. Time of my life. Sooooooo, he called my phone on my birthday. Who would have thunk. His mom sent me a text and his sister sent me an email. I sent out a mass message thanking my friends for my birthday wishes I received while on my trip. My birthday was on Thursday and I hired a professioanl photographer to take pics of me of the beach. I felt like a Victoria Secret model, no joke. I needd this trip. So, in this email I sent out some of those pics with it. Is it bad that I sent them to his sister? Am I hoping that she'll show him and I can rub it in his face this way? Anyway, I really have no desire to all him back or takl to him. He basically only called me to wish me a happy birthday, right? If I was home and I picked up his call that would have been so awkward? I don't really have any desire to talk to him. I DID think of him on my trip, every couple I saw, even the serenity from the ocea reminded me of him, and I cried maybe twice. I am very disappointed that this happened to us. It's been over a month since we spoke and I don't know if we will ever speak again. Who knows? But I do know that I willl booking my next trip very very soon, mi amigas!

Well happy belated Birthday! Sounds like you had a good time. It is always good to go on a big trip after a sad event occurs in your life. It is getting pretty cold where I am, so I would love to be on a beach right now! Keep us posted on your progress. And, you know you shouldn't call him back. Keep on moving forward.

So his sister emailed me back asking where I went. I just said Dominican Republic. And that's it. I don't want to talk to her anymore:( Because he called me on my birthday, do I have to call him on his? I don't want to! Because he only called me to wish me a happy birthday right??

No, don't call him on his Birthday. You owe him nothing.

Okay!

So, I knew it. Once the day came that I cut down on thinking of him and feeling like a bag of , I wake up this morning to a text message from him!! A picture of us that I took on his phone of us kissing and he wrote under it, Where did we go wrong? What does that mean? He wants to know why HE *d up, or he misses me, or he just wants to talk. I'm not sure but I don't really want to deal. It took me so long to get to where I am am and so much support from you angels that I don't know what to do? What does he want from me? Why do I feel bad but good at the same time?

Its so obvious. He just wants to know that you still want him.

He's like a hunter chasing prey that he knows is just about to give in. The moment you actually do give in, the hunt is over again and he will go back to normal/uninterested. You have the power now, use it wisely.

He's not only sent the message this morning, he also called me today at 4. I was so scared and I had no idea what to say so I never picked it up? What do I do now?

Ignore him! Turn your phone off, change your number... or, you could pick it up and play right into his hands. It is your choice. You are an adult and can make any choice you want. I would not pick it up and I would move forward, not backwards.

You would seriously do that?

Yes. I have been in your position. So, you pick the phone up, talk for awhile, hang up and you then are left posting on this website about what everything meant. I actually did change my number. Protect yourself, don't open yourself up for more pain and more questions.

What if this is my chance to make it better, to change the way things were and be happy together. I'm so confused, What if he needs me right now?