 |
Threads merged
I've been with my girlfriend for 8 months and it's been pretty good until now. We've messed up a lot but it's probably because it's our first real relationship. But now, I met another girl that I really like, and I don't know if I want to break up. Plus, my girlfriend now is bipolar and has clinical depression and I'm scared that if I break up with her she'll try to kill herself because she's tried before. Please help me... I have no idea what to do.
Well... kind of a newsflash for you, but usually, in a relationship, when things aren't working out, the two of you try and communicate, and fix the problems, rather than just leaving for the next best thing...
I know. We've been doing that for 8 months, and I haven't talked to her about it because we haven't had enough time. I'm just looking for some input because I don't know what to say or how to tell what I want.
Things always look better on the outside when things are going bad on the inside, know what I mean? Doesn't always mean it is the truth.
Well we haven't really had any problems or fights lately. In fact, it's been OK lately, nothing bad happening. So there's not really anything bad right now, and it complicates things.
You can't control how you feel, but you can control what your actions are in regards to those feelings...
But if you don't listen to your feelings, isn't it possible to not be happy? If you stay with someone your not attracted to, wouldn't that make it impossible to be happy with them?
But where does it stop, you know? Are you going to continue to leapfrog when the next best thing comes around? Not everything is as good as it may seem... just because this other girl is attractive doesn't mean it would make a great relationship. One thing has nothing to do with the other. When I had a girlfriend, there were still a TON of girls I thought I would for sure go to bed with if I was single, but I would have never just dumped my girlfriend for that possibility.
Yeah, I know what you mean. I was in a situation like this before and I turned the girl down, but this time it's a stronger attraction... I don't want to make a mistake, you know?
Look. There are plenty of bangin' chicks out there that I would LOVE to have all sorts of fun with (sorry girls), but if you are in a relationship, I don't think that thought even crosses your mind. Clearly, you do NOT want to be in this relationship, as you are worried about making a mistake by NOT breaking up with her for this new girl. Most of us guys would be worried about making a mistake by breaking up with our girlfriend just to date a more attractive girl. Mistakes go both ways partner...
My advice, don't think with your little head, think with your bigger one.
Well I don't really like this other girl for her looks, more for her personality.
Staying out of fear is a fools game, so don't play it. From reading your other posts you two don't seem compatible, and should just end it. Knowing when to let go and move ahead is a skill worth developing, but I caution you on jumping into someone else's life right away, as some time alone is what you need to end a lot of confusion.Quote:
I'm scared that if I break up with her she'll try to kill herself because she's tried before
Threads merged
The title says it all. What do you people think? I think it's okay as long as it doesn't lead to something else. But that's just me. What do you think?
Well this is a very good point.
As I have said many times before
We Can't Control our feelings
But we can control our actions.
And that is the main thing here.
I will give you my opinion on this one.
1. if you are in a relationship. And you have a friend that is really good looking and makes you laugh, does all the right things for you.
Then I am sorry you should not be in a relationship because a partner should full all those aspecs..
Now if you find someone else just good looking. Then that is normal. Even with me when I am with my girlfriend and I see another girl. I love my girlfriend to death but I find other girls pretty as well.
The same with her and guys
My point is. If you are liking other people. And I mean really liking them. Not just oh hey there cute etc etc
Then you should sit down with yourself and think long and hard about your current relationship
If its good. If its what you want? If both you and your partner want the same things.
Because if people look else where. Then they can't be happy with what they have.
And some people are just never happy with what they got..
I don't think there's anything wrong with liking others while you are in a relationship
I do however think it is unfair to the person you are with.
And even though you can't control how you feel
Maybe its your own way of telling you.. you are not ready to have a relationship with that person
You can't help if you like someone else. It depends if you indulge yourself though by sending extra emails and texts or find excuses to spend extra time with and neglect your partner, then that could be a slippery slope.
Its not wrong, its human. It doesn't get to be wrong until you cross the lines of good behavior.Quote:
Is it wrong to like someone else while you're in a relationship?
Threads merged
So yea, my girlfriend and I have been going out for quite a while, and our 1 year is coming up fairly soon. She's moving to CA this summer, so I won't be able to see her too often afterwards, so I want to make something really special for her. I've considered a poem, but I've already given her one. So what do you guys think? Any suggestions? Much appreciated =] And please, no advice on long distance relationships. That is not for this thread.
Another poem wouldn't hurt. Even if it's the second one you've given her, a poem comes from the heart, and it's very personal, and I'm sure she'd appreciate it. Since you won't be seeing her as often once she moves, give her a night she won't forget... take her to dinner, buy her flowers. You don't have to go TOO crazy, but just give her something to remember before she leaves. :) good luck.
I find that if you write down honestly what you think of her and your relationship, how you see her and the last year that you've spent with her, all of the good things... that would make her very happy.
Then on the day just make her feel special, bring her flowers, take her out. I think that if weather permits bringing her around to the places that remind you of her that would be nice especially considering she's going away :)
Let me know what you think and I'll keep thinking. :D
Try take her some place that she really likes.
I vote for writing her a letter. Since you've already written a poem, this is something a little different. Just let her know what you admire about her, what made you fall in love with her, how she makes you a better person, etc.
When you are apart, she can always reread when she is missing you.
To me, that would be much more valuable then flowers or jewelry.
If you are as retarded at writing letters as I am try a photo album, but personalise it with photos and memories of your past year.
For example: have a page of photos from a trip to the beach and include some seashells on the page...
These are some great ideas. And unfortunately, I'm severely handicapped in not only letters but in photo albums as well >.<
Just write the truth, its more touching than any contrived bs anyway...
This is what I'd want:
A video with him telling her his feelings so whenever I wanted to be able to see my man I could just play the video. You could even make a slideshow with all your favorite pics and places together and read a poem in the video. And do all the things that make her laugh and smile.
On the day you see her before she leaves, take her to do her favorite things get her flowers or candy or something cutesy and tell her she can't watch the video until she gets there and gets settled in and seal it with a kiss.
Just my thoughts... I love this cutesy stuff. :)
Threads merged
My girlfriend of a year and a half have recently hit a snag. She says she feels like I just don't care about her, and she also feels like she enjoys talking to her other friends more than me. How can I try to fix this? I really do care about her and would like to be the one she enjoys talking to most.
Maybe she really wants a good listener instead of a good talker. Are you a good listener when she talks? (Women like to talk.)
Also, do you always try to fix or find solutions to things she complains about?
She doesn't really complain to me or talk to me about problems a lot simply because she doesn't tend to have a lot of problems. She tells me it's more that I don't talk to her or spontaneously start conversations. Stuff like that really.
Then spontaneously start conversations by asking her "how" or "why" or "what do you think" questions to get her talking so the onus isn't on you to carry the conversation. Give her lots of empathetic responses such as "Wow! Really?" or "Who wudda thunk?" or "Tell me more." Guys like to talk about cars, sports, girls, and food. What do she and her friends talk about? -- probably clothes, makeup, hair, work or school, other girls' personalities and how they get along in life. Or does she want to talk about philosophy, politics, religion, and bestseller books?Quote:
Originally Posted by NItEMArE129
Maybe she is saying that you don't care about her as an excuse. I see this as a excuse to slowly let you down, so she can get out. Maybe that's why she says she enjoys talking to her friends more, so she can go hang out with them, and move on, while she has you still hanging around when she needs youQuote:
Originally Posted by NItEMArE129
Wondergirl- I've tried to do a lot of that stuff before, but I'm getting the feeling that she wants more. Like, I've tried to make it so that we still have something to talk about no matter what.
Dynocompe- I don't think it's that, just because I know her really well and she's not that type.
I just like to perpare you for the worst, and when they break up with you, you usually are in shock, and do not understand how they could do that, and think they changed over night! But if you can see from a outside view, you can see how they didn't change over night.
I just find it hard to believe she actually thinks you don't care, because you care so much that you found this site to post on. So I just think something is missing
That's too general. "More" what?? Ask her for specifics.Quote:
Originally Posted by NItEMArE129
[QUOTE=NItEMArE129;2252347]Wondergirl- I've tried to do a lot of that stuff before, but I'm getting the feeling that she wants more. Like, I've tried to make it so that we still have something to talk about no matter what.
QUOTE]
So you have tried all what wondergirl suggests, but you still think she really means that you don't care? I don't think so, I think it is that she is beginning not to care
So I just talked to her, and she said that all she wants is for me to say I love you randomly. I'm pretty sure that's not all she wants, but I think it is part of how she feels.
Dyno- I can see where you're coming from, but I really don't feel that's what it is. I'll keep what you say in mind though because it does make sense.
Good to have a open mind, good luck!
And be creative in how you say "I love you." Do you know what I mean?Quote:
Originally Posted by NItEMArE129
Threads merged
My girlfriend and I have been dating almost two years. It's been a fairly good relationship with a few up and downs, but we've been pretty close for the most of it.
I'm a really busy guy. I have a lot of schoolwork, sports, and extracurricular activities that I spend a lot of time studying for.
Recently, I've been feeling like she's been suffocating me. Throughout high school, most of our friends know us as really a couple. I've felt like I don't really have much of an identity on my own. Even now, she's just become the manager for my sports team, so I can't even have any time to be myself with my friends there. Also, she's had ideas for marriage and kids when I'm really not ready to commit to that right now.
I talked to her today and we decided to go on a break for a week. I feel like I want to break up, but at the same time I don't want to hurt her as she does have issues with depression and anxiety.
Am I making the right decision?
After the roller coaster ride the two of you have been on, you needed a break.
| All times are GMT -7. The time now is 11:47 PM. |