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I think if she does call ill pick up, if she texts I won't respond. I don't know, like I said its not going to ruin my birthday if I don't hear from her .
But it really stinks that she basically took our friends away from me. And I try to make plans with them , and they kind of shrug it off and avoid me. So I've started to avoid them.
This is why I'm ready for college, to make new friends and START OVER
so my birthday was awesome, I went to the horse racing track with my family and bet on horses it was amazing =]
and just to let u know, she didn't call and she just sent me something on Facebook so I'm kind of ticked, but over it. It's a weird feeling I don't know
Hey Man,
Don't worry about the small things.
The changeover from high school life to college life is very different, and I feel that what she has done is somewhat natural and understandable.
She's 300 miles away, would you rather her hook up with some guy and then never trust her again, or know that you're both single, you can meet new (and potentially more fulfilling people) and still know that the bond between you both wasn't ended on a bad note?
The one way for you NOT to get her back, is to try to get her back. Go with the flow, have fun.
I would say give yourself a little breathing room from the relationship scene, you don't want to have some girl that you may really like end up being just a rebound right? That's not fair to her, or you either.
Maybe you can contact her via E-mail or Text and just say something like, "I understand that being 300 miles apart would be hard on a relationship. I also understand that meeting new people in college is something that everyone should experience. Even though I am upset that I have lost you, I want you to know that I support you in anything that you do, I care about you deeply and I will always be here if you need to talk."
She'll read that, see how much of a sweetheart you are (even if you copy and paste haha) and maybe she'll think twice about what she has decided, and if she still rather not be in the relationship, at least you know that you went out with pride and that she can't take that from you.
Kevin I am seriously thinking of copying and pasting that. I really am.
We kind of broke up on a good note, saying once when the awkward stage of the breakup was over, we would try our hardest to be friends(which I know everyone says).
I do respect her for her choice , I just don't respect that way I've been treated after the breakup, and my family and friends agree with me
She also might take that for exactly what it says: "I understand and am here for you if you need to talk." Don't send it unless you can handle her talking to you and treating you like a friend that she needs when she's upset, but no intentions of anything more.
In the sexual sense, I am completely over her. The thing that is bugging me is that we were best friends when we were dating. And losing her as a girlfriend was bad, but losing my best friend was even worse. I want to have that relationship when I can call her and she can call me whenever about anything. Especially since college is around the corner, it will be a weird change for us, so I would love to have that contact with her, so if lonely or scared I can call her. Last time we spoke, she said she wasn't ready to be friends, so I said when your ready give me a call. Since then we have talked, its been about 3 weeks now and no call. I think she has moved on cause my friends say she has a crush on some drug dealer, which I mentioned earlier. So I'm not sure what to do. If I should send her a text reminding her that I will always be there no matter what.
I have finally realized that she will only be a memory of mine. It was an awesome year we spent together, and that's all I have left of it, memories.
I'm ready to move on with my life, including starting a friendship with my ex.
Simply amazing how we want the ex for a friend, but we don't put the same on the other friends who come, and go through our lives, but let it be an ex, and oh boy, we do anything to keep them.Quote:
including starting a friendship with my ex.
The value of a true friend can be seen best from afar, as we are always glad when they come back into our lives, as we know we won't see them as often as we like, when we like. Let it be an ex, and it's a different standard that hardly any of us can meet.
The only way to see it for what it is, is to heal first, and then worry about being friends.
What's simply amazing is I really have no other best friend besides my sister who I can turn to, so I really kind of have to try and keep this friendship afloat
Sorry if that sounded mean but its true, all my friends bailed on me when I started dating my ex, and she was pretty much the only TRUE friend I had
Sorry you depend on her for so much, but by working on your own life, your own friends, your own happiness, you won't depend on her so much.
Be aware that you put so much of yourself into her, you have forgotten who you are, and that's never healthy. Your path is clear, or it should be, heal, regroup, and rebuild your life that you enjoy without her in it. Thats a must, as your starting to sound like a junkie needing his fix, again that can't be healthy.
Leave her alone, and find yourself.
No offense meant when I say this, but many times someone can feel this way when in reality, it was you who bailed on your friends, not the other way around. It is a common problem when someone becomes MUCH too involved in a relationship - they lose sight of what they had before, so when what they have now is gone, they are left with next to nothing...Quote:
Originally Posted by pol5019
No I completely agree with that. My ex and I hung out every day, and its true, my friends did leave me because of that reason. After about two months of this, me and my ex realized we really had no friends anymore cause we would hang out every Friday, Saturday and Sunday. So we took some time off from just me and her chilen. Well she was able to re kindle the friendship with her friends, but mine were stubborn and hurt. So yeah bigbird I agree it was my fault, now a days me and my friends talk, but we rarely hang out, and I would never be able to talk to them like I used to.
You will in time, plus you will make new friends. It was something I did in my first relationship too, but now that it has ended, I value my friends for what they are and I realize that no matter what, they aren't going to bail on me. Its something that I would never do again, but it was a tough lesson to learn.
If you keeps your friends around you, no matter what happens when you breakup, you will have a net of friends to keep you happy and content with your life.
Well that's why I want to go to college already because I want to make new friends.
So I think once when I'm surrounded by new people, I should be fine
Thanks for the advice though bigbird, it seems like everything you say makes al lot of sense=]
7/30/08
Would have been a year ann
Anyone have any good ideas on what I should do tonight to forget about it?
Go to the gym, my 3 year anniversary just passed on the 24th and the only reason I remembered that was because a concert me and my present girlfriend were going to fell on the same day. I must say, I didn't think about it at all until I looked at the ticket stub ha ha
I spent my 4 year anniversary out with my friends. It was a Sunday night, so I couldn't stay out late, but I spent time with my friends and tried to go to bed early. You start to realize that its just another day - nothing special.
Well my day has been good so far, I went to the mall, and bought a hat, some posters, and a 6 foot funnel
So break in the funnel tonight - that should pass the time :p
Just keep your phone out of reach should you get a little too drunk...
Aahha thanks, its been off all day, in case she tried to contact me
It stinks cause I keep thinking of me and her and where I was a year ago today
I wish I can turn the clock back sometimes. I really miss the person she used to be
Just remember it's the person she used to be. Your better off missing the person she used to be then hating the person that she is now. That's exactly why NC is the best thing, and ignorance is bliss!
My 4 year anniversary with my ex was pre-planned. It was on v-day...
So I actually had this rooftop restaurant in downtown reserved in November (it apparently sells out by december)... got a room at the westin... the works.
Well. I was more angry that I was out half a grand (pre-paid meal for the restaurant... deposit on the room at the westin gone).
Booked 3 dates that night. 5 - 8pm 8:15 - 10:30pm 11 - ?
I hate online networking like Facebook, because I can still see all the things she is doing, I try and avoid it, but it seems like it keeps popping up in front of me. I most definitely hate the person she has become now. We haven't talked in, jeez like 3 weeks, so NC has been good, and not a problem
Good to hear that.
Fbook and myspace are the devil. I suggest you steer clear of those.. . if anything, de-friend them.
I just found out, like 2 minutes ago that she has hooked up with 6 other guys this summer
WAT THE HECKKK
stay.away.from.that
click that red box with that white X.
As in do what?
Close it. Stay away from it. You two are broken up now, which means that it shouldn't matter to you what she does (I know it does, but... there's nothing you can do). As for now, stay away from her fbook/myspace. Do everything you can to not find out what she's up to.
Distract yourself.
If you go on Facebook a lot and find it hard to stay off and don't want to defriend her... u can go to the feed settings and make it so that nothing about her pops up on your home page, and then just practice self-control and don't look at anything regarding her... I've had NC for 15 days but I've been looking at her Facebook over this time, but starting tonight I'm going to start avoiding her page... total NC!Quote:
Originally Posted by pol5019
Yeah I should do that, and it seems like everything she does, pops up on my feed, so I should lower that lol
sneeze, I just spent the past 2.5 hours reading your post. Wow man I reli have no idea what to say, except I envy you and how strong you were in the beginning of the breakup.
but here's an update for me,
I metioned earlier how my ex pretty much took all of the friends we have made this past year. None of them have called me at all, or made plans. I went to a few concerts the past week and I hung out with them there. The only reason why I did, was because my ex wasn't there. See the"friends" will make plans and never include me if the ex is there. But since she wasn't at the concerts, they thought it was OK to hang out with me now. Which is absolute BS and I can't stand it. So at the moment I not only am continuing my NC with my ex, but I am going to start one with my ex friends also. This is so messed up!
my best friend, has completely left me and taken my ex's side on the situation. He was the one to make the bet with her and see who can hook up with more people this summer, YEH SOME FRIEND! So I don't know how to deal with the immature people. I guess the best thing is to not talk to them at all. But they have recently made contact with me and made it a point to say they wanted to hang out more often, cause it feels like they haven't seen me all summer(bcuz they haven't!! )
my plan is to not see them for the rest of the summer, if they invite me out I'm not going, I can't stand the way they are treating me, and I can't believe I used to be friends with such a$$holes!
advice please! I really don't have a question, I just wanted to vent. Give me a break its almost 3 a.m and I have to be up in 4 hours! =[
oh and my current mood would be the Taking Back Sunday song-A Decade Under The Influence :::"To hell with you and all your friends, its on"::::
Ah, it's always hard when your friends take the ex's side... I suggest you start making some new friends. Perhaps start to volunteer, join a gym, maybe a book club or some sort of a hobby place so that you can start to mingle with some new people.
I'm really sorry to hear that your friends bounced. That really stinks.
Venting here always helps.
Hope things get better. Keep your head up.
thanks sneeze
I've been hanging with my old band. I've been playing the drums for about 14 years of my life, and we have been practicing, and causing mayhem in my town for the past two weeks. We have a few shows coming up so I should have a good time there.
but I'm excited for college, cause I'm going to be a freshman in 22 days(yes I'm counting) and I can't wait to surround myself with new people and start with a clean slate!!
and it helps that the college I'm going to(pennstate) was just named the no3 party school in the nation!! =]
College is a great place to meet new people, just remember to put yourself out there. Some of your best friends are made in those 4 years(7 if your Van Wilder)
Ahaha so true rome. I'm sick of this high school BS, and I think breaking up with my ex has taught me a lot. It has shown me how people act in certain situations I haven't been exposed to before, and it has also shown me that I am so ready to leave for college. My ex friends obviously are not because they are playing these stupid games with me, and I have tried to be a bigger person, but there is just no use anymore
Sounds like someone has learned something here. Congrats, you have saved yourself much misery.
I was once told that the easiest way to find out what a person's true intentions and attitudes are is to put them into a difficult situation and see how they react. Some are cowards, some are fights, some are drama queens (or kings).Quote:
Originally Posted by pol5019
College still has it's drama, but there's always going to be people trying to bring drama into a situation to stir it up. Just let it roll off your shoulders and keep on truckin'. I've learned that it's the easiest way to do things.
One thing I loved about college was... you can be a completely @sshole (and I mean @sshole in the nicest sense. Such as... not dealing with a girl's drama. If you don't feel like dealing with it, you can simply walk away) because by the next day, you can meet someone else.
Quote:
Originally Posted by ISneezeFunny
Yeah, high school drama sucks because you're stuck being there at a specific time, but college is great because you make your own schedule, you don't always have to go to the class and you meet a better variety of well rounded people.
Plus... the chicks are SO much hotter in college, even my girlfriend agrees, and she's not even bi-sexual! Lol
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kevin_s
Someone should go to my school... :mad:
... I'm not kidding:p
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