Was that a serious post. If its true, awesome for you guy. And on the flip side. There is nothing you can do to make it hurt less. My girlfriend moved out 5 days ago after 4 years. It just hurts, like someone punching you in the stomach.

But I really did feel better after a Powerman 500 concert and a trip to a college bar. Good times CAN make the pain go away for a little while. But you will know when you will feel better, and it will probably be after you meet someone that you connect with. That is the hardest thing for me personally to imagine.

JC

Matt - she has A LOT OF EXPALINING TO DO!! Don't take her back that easily - be a man about it. You guys actually have a lot of fixing to do - figure out WHY she left in the first place.

All I can say is - and its always true - once a cheater - always a cheater. Can you EVER really trust her fully again?? Hue answer you need.

ASK HER WHY she ended up with this guy?? Becase, quite frankly, as we have discussed before... she'll do it again.

And I don't want to see you go through this again.

Also -you don't trust her - and she didn't respect you enough to run off with another guy.

A guy, of course, who after a couple months, was no fun to her anymore.

She was seeing him for 1.5 months casually. And then she said after I broke up with her she fooled around with him but didn't sleep with him. She said she couldn't take what she was doing anymore and that she knew she was doing was wrong and had to put and end to the games and lies. She said that she missed me and that no one will ever be able to replace me and that she wants me back. I don't trust her and I told her that. She told me she did what she did because her feelings changed for me and its for all the reasons you guys told me. That I wasn't the guy that I was at the beginning and things got to comfortable and a bit boring. Anyway, I didn't take her back. I'm talking to her and getting all the info that I need and figuring stuff out.

You've come a long way through hell. You now have the power to decide what it is you really want and need to do for yourself. Take all the time you need since you are the one who got the boot planted 10 inches up your butt,so make sure you got it out and your butt is healed before you make any decisions. Remenberr she still has another boot.Take your time,this time and think before you act.:cool:

Two things:

1. Remember to be the guy she liked... that's probably the real you. Be the fun guy. Make fun of her.

2. Take your time. Talk it out with her. She has a lot of expalining to do.

Lets hope to hell she's telling the truth here.

From what you've described, it does sound as if she has emotional problems that will probably require psychiatric intervention for her to deal with them. It doesn't sound like she's able to cope in a relationship right now. You can encourage her to get the help she needs but ultimately that will have to be her decision. I know it'll be hard but now you've got to pick up and get on with your life, without her for right now. Maybe eventually the two of you will get back together again but for now you've got to go on and make your plans according to what's best for you without worrying about her.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by mattvit

so, she contacted me lastnite wanting me back. she was seeing another guy and couldnt keep it from me anymore and she wants me in her life again, misses what we had and can't go on being a horible person and wants to try to be together again...............?????????????????????????????? ????????????

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Does the words yo-yo mean anything to you?. lets see... she left you and she was with another guy... hum... meaning: she did not want to be with you so she wanted to see another guy(s). So, if she wanted you she would not leave you. Right? But she did leave. Thus, she did not want to be with you. Get it? Now she has nobody but you. Do you want to be the second choice in her life. She will leave again. Are you sure you can handle the rejection a second time? You have to know what type of a person you are and can you handle her. Can you be happy when she is in your life and/or gone again? If you decide to get back together I would go slow with a relationship. Do not put yourself in a situation that may destroy you. So, take a step back. Look at what you had and what you will have if you're together. Just have fun and go out once in a while. Don't push it. Even if she pushes don't do it. If she leaves because you did not push hard enough its because she was using you. If she agrees to go slow then she cares enough. LMF (later my friend).

Guys, she never broke up with the other guy before she contacted me. This was all a hox...

Guys, girl is so --- in the head. I know 120% she has problems. Because, she calls me before saying, to leave her alone not to call her all that BS, she doesn't have feelings for me that she wasn't thinking. I was like what the heck. This girl is CRACKED HARD. I told her listen you u need serious help because your really --- in the head. All this --- uve been doing makes no --- sense, and your giving me lies and bull and crazyness. She's like no I'm fine I know what I'm thinking, I said listen what's going on in your head may be fine to you in your own head, but in the rest of the world we live in your way off and messed up. Anyway, she was saying all kinds of crap that was strange. I know I should have just said bye like after 2 seconds she started to talk, but I wanted to see what she was saying. Anyway, I told her she's cracked and that she needs help. I slipped in a few ashole coments because at that point I was fed up, everything that was going on was just bull on top of bull. I asked her how the hell can she even look at herself in the mirror after all this... no respons... I said if I were you ide barf on myself after looking into the mirror knowing all this crap you did... guys, I know I'm at fault for letting this --- drag on like this, but at that point I was like screw this, wtv I said she deserved it. I don't care that I was no better than her and just as low as her for saying all these bad things. It felt good. I told her she's garbage, and after no response, I hung up. She called back, saying why did you hang up on me, I said because there isn't anything to say and since your garbage your not worth any of my time. I said, now U start leaving ME alone. And piece of advice, go get some help because your really cracked in the head, all you are is garbage and its meant to be thrown away. So have a nice life, that's even if your able to... CIAO!. neways I don't give a crap. I lost it, but I don't care. Everything happends for a reason so --- this.

Guys, wtv you guys have been saying, I'm sorry to say but I think with this girl it doesn't apply. She's messed up in the head and that's the problem. I know I'm --- a little too, but can you balme me. I just had enough of this and lost it. I'm sorry I've wasted all of your time on this garbage.

Hi,
Living life is wonderful. There are ups and downs. The most important thing in life is to come to know what is a "down", what is the problem, and what to do about it. If there isn't anything that can be done about it, then one tries to forget it and move on.
You have to move on. You will be doing yourself more harm the longer you hang onto something that isn't going to be. I know it's hard... been there... done that myself.
Getting over a relationship takes time; about a year in some cases. So, I do wish you the very best, and hang in there; talking with new girls. Listen to them. You can make more friends by listening to others, than by having them listen to you.

Hox?

Matt - you been boozing?

Hox... meaning that wtv was happening was just another deception or a seriously twisted game due to her being mentaly unstable. She has massive psycological problems.

As in "hoax".. . Like Wildcat said, you do look a bit drunk in your last message...

I think you need to forget this girl.. it doesn't seem like a healthy situation!

I wasn't drunk, just dumbfounded at what had happened and her crazyness... the situation with all the BS I've been subjecting myself through. This girl has mental problems and I've been allowing myself to be affected by it and let it cause me problems and head aches for what... a ? I'm going to F'up my life for a GIRL, one who has issues and psycologial problems?.

Hey look your girlfeind sounds like she is going through the same thing as me at the moment, one question... does she work?, another question is she under 18? Because I know I hate my older boyfriend going out to bars and stuff and yer you can do what you want but you need to consider what she feels too, and it is great that you are supportive of her, I personally am going through a hard stage with my boyfriend I don't know why or what is going on, I love him but I hate the way he is, and I do lose it, she does sound like she is going through a break down, you need to get her to see a docter asap, and go with her because sometimes it hard to talk to a starnger without someone you love with you, she mayb needs to be treated for depression, sometimes with some people depression tablets will help you in a short time and through this you will just have to supprt this if you really love her just remember it is really hard for her because she is confused, and if she is cryinng for no reason she will realise this and it will make her cry more often because she doesn't know what is going on, this is were you step in, she needss you

Samjg: please read all the posts so you are up to date with this situation. There is a lot more to my situation than my original post that u really need to read... TO SUM IT UP, SHE WAS SEEING SOMEONE ELSE AND WAS CHEATING.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by samjg

hey look your girlfeind sounds like she is going thru the exact same thing as me at the moment, one question...does she work??,,,, another question is she under 18? becuz i know i hate my older bf going out to bars n stuff and yer you can do what you want but you need to consider what she feels too, and it is great that you are supportive of her, i personally am going thru a hard stage with my bf i dont know why or what is going on, i love him but i hate the way he is, n i do lose it, she does sound like she is going thru a break down, you need to get her to see a docter asap, n go with her because sometimes it hard to talk to a starnger without someone you love with you, she mayb needs to be treated for depression, sometimes with some ppl depression tablets will help u in a short time n thru this you will just have to supprt this if you really love her just remember it is really hard for her becuz she is confused, and if she is cryinng for no reason she will realise this n it will make her cry more often because she doesnt know what is going on, this is were you step in, she needss you

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Dear samjg, don't take mattvit's comment too hard. He's gone through a lot, and yes, almost like you, but not exactly. What you just advised to him is what you should do to yourself - find that someone that will support and comfort you instead the jerk you wrote about in the other post. Talk to people, and see new ones, get out of your depression and gain your self-respect back. Wishing you lots of luck, Chery

http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/15/15_9_16.gif

Matt - you've gone through the whole catalog of crap any one person can handle. I've noticed that you've slipped a little in your own mind - I mean you are probably hitting the bottle more often, feeling continuously sorry for yourself, and still not letting go... You need to let go, and stop receiving calls or any other communication from this gal.

Please be kinder to yourself - and start living life as you should, by having fun, enjoying other things and people, and looking forward to your future. Right now you don't sound like you are going anywhere else - you're just staying in one place and circling - dwelling on something that you will never trust anyway, so STOP, look, and find a new direction in life.

Some things in life will always disappoint us, no matter how, or where, but we have to be collected and strong enough to handle it, or we wind up dropping into a hole that will be very hard to get out of without professional help. Listen to 'MoM', hon, and do something about your state of mind - go off on a weekend to another city, enjoy a new surrounding and just distance your mind from all this baggage your are still holding on to. Throw that trash away, and clean up your act, dear - I'm worried about you. I will be away in hospital for four weeks, and when I come back, I want to hear a better state of mind from Matt - hear me!! You know that we are here for you, but the rest you've got to do yourself - so get started. It's never too late to start anew - it's a survival instinct - so let it kick in as soon as possible.

Hoping to hear better news from you when I get back, Love, Chery

http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/15/15_9_16.gif Stop being sad, get mad, and change some things in your life - you need it to survive!

Quote:

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Originally Posted by mattvit

Samjg: please read all the posts so u r up to date with this situation. there is a lot more to my situation than my origional post that u really need to read.......... TO SUM IT UP, SHE WAS SEEING SOMEONE ELSE AND WAS CHEATING.

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I'm sory I did not realise I'm only new remember :) goodluck

Quote:

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Originally Posted by samjg

im sory i did not realise im only new remeber :) goodluck

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Don't worry dear, we don't bring out the whips and chains for little mistakes - we save those for the real jerks. You meant well, and we know it.

Take care, and stay with us, you'll get to know us all real well and be comfortable with us.
http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/15/15_9_16.gif

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Chery

Don't worry dear, we don't bring out the whips and chains for little mistakes - we save those for the real jerks. You meant well, and we know it.

Take care, and stay with us, you'll get to know us all real well and be comfortable with us.
http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/15/15_9_16.gif

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Thank you! Yes hopefully I will get to know everyone real well every since I found this site I have been on hear constantly I love it :)

Do not answer your phone at all if it is her don't call her don't talk to her it is for the best date other people it is better that way

Quote:

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Originally Posted by kandy

do not answer your phone at all if it is her dont call her dont talk to her it is for the best date other people it is better that way

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kandy... do you ever have anything positive to say?

Guys, I still find myself going through ups and downs about this girl. I know she's garbage for what she did, but lately our memeries has been on my mind a lot and I find myself missing them and thinking about her a lot. I shouldn't be, but I still am. I stay busy, live my life, but its still not enough. My mind still races and thinks about everything and it makes me pull back in, instead of letting go. What can I do more?

Babe, we all have our memories, most of them fond, some of them crappy and we go through a mourning period when we have a loss. That's what makes us human.
Memories are there to teach us and help us develop into more mature beings - at least that's what the books say.
I still remember my first boyfriend, my ex-husband, and all the others, and they are too many to count at my age - and each of them has left some part of them ingrained in my heart and soul.
We have to take these, just like papers in a filing cabinet and sort them out and then prioritize their value to be able to advance in our lives.
I just recently got a message from a friend about life and it's expectancies which I will now share with you. This just proved to me that we are all still looking for that little bit of happiness and/or bliss - which we all deserve - but I also know that looking in the wrong places and dwelling on the past don't help in advancement of the spirit. So, take the below message as is and try to make something out of it for yourself. It certainly leaves a message for all of us.
http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/15/15_9_16.gif
Date: Sat, 18 Mar 2006 08:21:37 -0500
THE WHOLE TEXT IS TOO LONG TO TYPE HERE, SO I'M INCLUDING IN AS AN ATTACHMENT - PLESE READ IT.

Lots of love and well wishes to you Matt.

Love, Chery

I know, but like why can't I focus on all the bad instead of the good. Like after what she did, I shouldn't even have any thoughts she shouldn't even exist to me and be wasting my time thinking of her. But I just keep overlooking all the bad and the crap and dwelling on all the good times. I mean she cheated and lied and deceived me, yet I don't let go or let that allow me to forget her?? Y is that

OK I'm sorry for wgat my twin said but hey I will have too say I hope you can move on and find someone who will be good to you you sound like you give this girl the world so I hope you can find someone to do the same for you

If you have been following my story, this is what's new... so after 2.5 months, my ex comes on msn lastnite, but did not write to me nor me to her. I found it odd since she hasn't been on for a really long time. Today at lunch she coems on again and writes to me. Long story short, she miss me and wanted to talk to me, she still loves me and cares for me, she crys all the time about me and is always sad thinks of me all the time... YET she has a BF, the guy she cheated on me with... and also, last time we spoke she said she had no feelings for me to leave her alone she wants nuthing to do with me. What the heck is wrong with her??

She sounds nuts.

Stay away from here. Move on.

You will only get hurt again.

~Just my 2 cents~

Quote:

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Originally Posted by CaptainForest

She sounds nuts.

Stay away from here. Move on.

You will only get hurt again.

~Just my 2 cents~

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Psycologicly/mentally unstable for sure. As for getting hurt, I've been hurt so much I don't feel anything anymore. If I can get some fun again out of it, that's all I'm looking for

Let her cry and feed someone else lines.

Tell her too bad. Don't give in.

She cheated. She's acting irrational.

Unless you're into that, better to just keep driving the car PAST the train wreck.

Hi, Matt,
From your last post, "getting fun out of it", may I offer a suggestion?
The more games we play, the more we get involved in making them up. If we become honest, caring, and wishing to have a good relationship built on those things, it will happen! I'm not saying it will happen with your ex, but it will happen eventually.
Meeting new girls with a SMILE, talking with them about Them, will make new friends in no time. Talking about ourselves with girls really turns them off to a certain extent.
I was divorced after my first 7 yrs of marriage, learned a lot, and in 3 years remarried; now for 29 years. Compromise is the key word that keeps us going, with love and honesty between each other.

You guys all know my story by now so... neway, all week my ex has been coming on msn to chat with me after like 3 months she's not on. She has talked to me on mon, wed, and today on msn. Wed she came on like 5 times, but I wanst there and she kept writing to me... also, I've been getting private # calls on my cell like 2 times a day everyday this week. I called my service provider and asked them to tell me who was calling, and guess what it was HER. I don't know what's going on. For sure she's playing games or trying to mess with me. But if uve been following my story with this nut job, ude know that this is way getting stranger and stranger... she apparently still has feelings for me still and cares for me, but I can't believe a word she says... she's with a guy, the guy she cheated on me with... messed up man... she's very persistent... is she's looking for attention? Working her way back? Just F'ING with me?. seriously what the hell is going on?

Don't know what else you want to hear, man, that you haven't already heard.

Stand your ground. Ignore her if you need to. Tell her over and over its done and gone. Its not easy. Sucks to be you. But no one else is going to do this for you. And it might get messier before it gets better.

My wife had a nutjob ex that ended up getting fired because he was harassing her using his cell that was a work phone. His crap went on for something like 1.5 years... calls in the middle of the night. A few drive bys (as in just driving by her out of the way, in a different town, house).

Eventually it tapered off. And it ended after the last time he called and I told him he was at risk of losing another job, cause it was all getting documented.

So... sorry to hear this news. Hopefully this cleanses you of any "she's hot and i kinda miss her" feelings you were having before. No fun... you just got to practice saying no. and go away. Sucks, I know.

I really can't tell you for sure what's going on but you sound like you don't trust her, whatever she may be up to. That said, if her contacting you makes you feel uncomfortable, then tell her to stop ; you have every right to do that. From the sound of your post I really don't think she's on the up-and-up if she is in fact still with the guy that she cheated on you with so I wouldn't regard her attempts at contacting you as a sign of sincere interest on her part. I'm sorry if you were hoping to hear otherwise but I think you need to keep your guard up with this one.

Hi, Matt,
I think you already know the answer to this one; she doesn't know what she is doing!
I would leave her alone.
If worse comes to worse, you could go to your local Magistrate, if you have one, or the local courthouse, to the Court Clerk's Office, and ask how to take out a "peace bond" or "restraining order" against her.
This means she can't talk with you, can't call you, and can't be within, say, 300 feet of you!
I do wish you the best, and good luck.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by fredg

Hi, Matt,
I think you already know the answer to this one; she doesn't know what she is doing!
I would leave her alone.
If worse comes to worse, you could go to your local Magistrate, if you have one, or the local courthouse, to the Court Clerk's Office, and ask how to take out a "peace bond" or "restraining order" against her.
This means she can't talk with you, can't call you, and can't be within, say, 300 feet of you!
I do wish you the best, and good luck.

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Bah, I don't want to get legal about it... I honestly don't mind her right now, the more I look at what's happening, the more I die of laughter. I know its bad to say, but I actually feel a bit better to see her messed up... I don't know, I just find this really funny for some reason.

Atta boy! I have to agree, there's a sick satisfaction from knowing you're the one who's "ok" in all of this, isn't there? Hang in there, she's just proving to you now how wrong you would be together. And the strange truth is, you have had time to deal with all the relationship issues, where she hasn't - she has been too busy with someone else!
I was with a guy for three years, and two years ago he ended it. It really took a long time to get over him, but last year when I went to visit him, I was struck by how back in the past he was - confused in himself, over impulsive etc. He hadn't GROWN. It's the upside of pain - you can turn it into something constructive and become stronger for it. Good luck! You really don't need her anymore, now do you?

Hey! As a girl do you know what I think? I think she's trying to get attention for herself since it doesn't seem to shake you she's with s'meone else well I can't really say she wants you back but I'll tell you to keep your guards up and try not to notice her. I tell you sooner or later she'll be back and please don't make a mistake of taking her back and hopefully you find someone better, then she'll know what she lost.have fun.