Jeff dear, STUFF happens, and you'll probably be dissapointed and enraged again in the future, but that's all part of life. Some people just don't have ethics or integrity and go to sleep at night thinking who they can mess up the next day. The world is that way, we have to face it and go our own ways or we will go crazy. Please chuck this off as a lesson learned. If it makes you feel any better, send her a postcard with just THANKS FOR NOTHING on it, or in a letter through her parents. I doubt it will phase her but it might make you feel better. I can't wait till the day you tell us about the great gal you met and how much better you feel, so get started on that project!
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DELIMA: This girl I knew in HS just called we will call her "L". Now, L is a VERY cute girl, but she kind of freaked me out a while back, she told me she loved me and all this crap and I didn't even know her. I have hung out with her once out side of school like 4 years ago. I didn't treat her very nicely at the time because I had a girlfriend (my EX) and didn't want to lead her on. She was VERY aggressive twards me and one night I saw her at a party and I ignored her (the EX was there). I HATE being mean to people, but I really didn't want to hurt her feelings. I appologized once before for blowing her off, and then I kind of did it again. I felt so bad about it, and she wasn't too nice to me on the phone, but she called... wierd. The thing is, I am a bit afraid of this girl because I think she might be latchy, or that could have just been a long time ago... ideas?

"she is leaving tomorrow to go off to school, and she didnt even call to say goodbye to me." - why would you care. You want this louse out of your life. Move on. JUST more no respect for Jeff - get it? She never respected you.

Ughhhhh - one day you will get it. No more lap dog.

I get it man, but it doesn't mean that it STILL doesn't piss me off. I don't think that this is even a respect issue anymore. I might not respect someone, but it doesn't give me the right to treat them like crap. I will get over all this junk, and I have been doing a good job. I am just going through a ruff spot, and things will be better when she is gone for good. :o

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Originally Posted by jeffatl

DELIMA: This girl I knew in HS just called we will call her "L". Now, L is a VERY cute girl, but she kind of freaked me out a while back, she told me she loved me and all this crap and I didnt even know her. I have hung out with her once out side of school like 4 years ago. I didnt treat her very nicely at the time because I had a girlfriend (my EX) and didnt want to lead her on. She was VERY agressive twards me and one night I saw her at a party and I ignored her (the EX was there). I HATE being mean to people, but I really didnt want to hurt her feelings. I appologized once before for blowing her off, adn then I kind of did it again. I felt so bad about it, and she wasnt too nice to me on the phone, but she called..................wierd. the thing is, I am a bit afraid of this girl because I think she might be latchy, or that could have just been a long time ago.....ideas?

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Did this young lady know your ex? Apparently she knows that you will be without her around from now on, so she might just check and see if you have grown up or are still going to be the (your attitude in the past) 'agressive stupid-head' that you were. At least she is making the attempt to find out. If she calls again, talk to her, if not, then forget it. If you meet her on the street, be nice and say hello, that's all. Let her make the first move if she thinks she needs to forgive you for the past nastiness, then she might be someone worth getting to know better - we all change from our HS days, for better or worse - where do you fall in? You are still in the 'rebound' stage, so do be careful and don't make hasty choices, but it never hurts to be nice to people. As a matter of fact, it takes more time and energy to be nasty, so don't waste your precious time, use it constructively. Now you need to place anger on the back-burner and start over.

P.S. We do this on our free time and really appreciate feedback if our answers/advice helped or not, please: click the Rate This Post link, click on Approve or Disapprove, and give a comment. Thanks!
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Jeff, I can understand the pissed offedness (did I just make that one up). She didn't say good bye more than likely for two reasons. 1.) The girl has a HUGE ego. That would portray her as a weak, tail between the legs kind of thing, giving you a second thought. The truth is that by not calling to say good bye, she gave exactly that image. What, how dare you know that she was leaving and be audacious enough to not fall all over yourself to say good bye and beg her not to go!! 2.) She's rude and chicken****! You had many years under your belt and the least she could have done was a quick 3 minute call to say hey, wish me luck, wish you the best, take care, have a good life... whatever. I'm not sure she has ever realmed the circumference beyond herself. If it doesn't benefit her, make her happy or inconveniences her, why do it?? Good riddens to her Jeff and congratulations to you, you survived! Your anger will pass, but I doubt you will forget real soon. Keep that in mind next time she sends you one of those cute little I miss you emails! ;)

Dear momincali, tried to rate you, but got the stupid message again to spread it.

I agree and said so many times in this thread, but maybe jeff will listen and pay attention to you, as he never seems to read what I say.. and after all the help we gave him, he does not even bother to rate any of us either... boy, I don't know what's wrong with some people, but that's life.. So, from now on it's you and wildcat, I'm out of this one as I hate 'talking to deaf ears'. Good luck to you and wildcat.

And happy thanksgiving..

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Ummm not true, to prove it... "You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to Chery again." ALSO, "You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to momincali again" same goes for wildcat. I DO RATE! If someone gives me good advice, I repay the favor. I have rated a number of you. Also, I DO listen to the advice you guys give me, it is just a tuff situation to go through at times. Easy there, I show my appreciation if I can. I can't rate you again unitl I rate others, and others haven't really been giving me as good of advice. Look at your rep profile before you get mad at me for not rating please.

P.S. Jeff, stay FAR FAR AWAY from "L"! Aggressive, latchy... uh, not good. Besides, even if she has grown up a little and is not as aggressive and not as latchy, still not good. You weren't mean to ignore her, you had a girlfriend and didn't want to risk pissing her off (had you only known). If I had been ignored by you on a couple of different occasions, I'd get the message and would not continue to pursue it, most confident women would. Her calling you out of the blue kind of tells you she doesn't value herself too much or she's bored and is just wondering about you. Cute or not, don't open that door, I have a feeling you may regret it.

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Originally Posted by jeffatl

Ummm not true, to prove it.... "You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to Chery again." ALSO, "You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to momincali again" same goes for wildcat. I DO RATE! If someone gives me good advice, I repay the favor. I have rated a number of you. Also, I DO listen to the advice you guys give me, it is just a tuff situation to go through at times. Easy there, I show my appreciation if I can. I can't rate you again unitl I rate others, and others havent really been giving me as good of advice. Look at your rep profile before you get mad at me for not rating please.

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I'm not mad at the ratings, just a little upset when you fall back and get angry over something that should be out of your skin, but I realized that with some it takes longer, I did get your attention though, thanks for the return reply. You need to get it out and that's good. Now, go and have some FUN!

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Ughhhhhhhhhh this gal is so horrible and yet Jeff still has doormat feelings for her - she really did a number on him.

Agreed, I kind of see the same in her as my EX. My EX pursued me RELENTLESSLY, and I should have known from the start. I think I will stay out of this while I can. :D

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Originally Posted by Wildcat21

Ughhhhhhhhhh this gal is so horrible and yet Jeff still has doormat feelings for her - she really did a number on him.

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I TOTALLY SEE YOUR POINT HERE! I think I need your type of "tuff love" because there is no other way to get this crap through my thick head.

This girl is, and always has been no good to me. From day one (month one) she cheated on me. Mistake #1= taking her back. Then, about a year or so later, she cheated again with one of my friends and lied to me about it for months. Mistake#2= taking her back. She manipulated my friends, family, and her family into thinking that I didn't treat her right and made herself look golden. Mistake#3= not dumping her butt. I have learned A lot for this whole experience, and I don't think I wanted to be with her for a while. I knew all of this crap, but just couldn't admit it to myself. I got soooooo comforitable in the relationship, it was hard for me to be on my own again. I feel relieved that she is gone, out of my life, but that doesn't mean that things still don't aggervate me. I don't think I can truly get over this until I don't let her push my buttons anymore. I don't want to just jump into another relationship, I want to grow within myself and be my own person. I know if I jump into another relationship, I will gain nothing. Thank you all.











I will rate you when I can... hehehehehe ;)

Good, don't jump into another relationship for a while. But that does not mean you can't date different women and have fun. As for anger issues, it is very normal to feel them. It will come and go.

When they ignore you the most, is when they thinking the most about you. It is because of pride and ego. They know they did you wrong. The way to get back at them, is to ignore them too. They can't stand that. They always thought of you as around their finger, and now they have lost that control over you. She will be misrable for the rest of her life, because she let go of a good thing with you.

Another thing, you think she feels good about leaving without saying good bye... nope, it will haunt her. She'll contaplate if what she did was the right thing to do.

Good. It IS part of growing up. I just don't want to see you go through this crap again.

MANY women (bad ones) WILL test you - they WILL see how far they get away with things. That's what this one did. You did let her get away with this all this crap AND the bad ones WILL take advantage of you at every turn - especially WHEN you are nice to them.

You let her time again get away with it. Your relationship should have lasted 1 month - period, end of story.

BUILD barriers, don't be so nice, do your own things - they will the nchase you, do not let them get awa ywith anyhtng - BUT the good ones won't do that to you.

You call her an ex, but act like she's current. So which is it? Did you send her roses? Take her to her favorite places? It's not that difficult. She means, don't do it again.

What are you talking about? Did you even read anything that has been going on in my situation? I think not. I did eveything for this girl and she walked all over me. Know the story BEFORE you give advice please...

I just found out she is engaged to this guy a few hours ago. I am freaking out so bad right now I don't even know what to do guys. I just can't deal with this crap anymore, it hurts too much. I am so tired of having my heat broken over and over again by this girl I just can't deal. I have completely lost my damn mind tonight and I am scared. My heart is now completely broken in half and I just can't cope with this anymore. Call me a wuss or weak or whatever you want, I am done.

Do something for fun for yourself. You are so attached to her, it is so difficult for you right. In time, you will do better. Is there a gym you can go to and work out until you aren't bothered by it anymore. I always walk along the lake until, it doesn't bother me anymore. Go for a nice long walk until you aren't bothered by it anymore.

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Originally Posted by jeffatl

I just found out she is engaged to this guy a few hours ago. I am freaking out so bad right now I dont even know what to do guys. I just can't deal with this crap anymore, it hurts too much. I am so tired of having my heat broken over and over again by this girl I just can't deal. I have completely lost my damn mind tonight and I am scared. My heart is now completly broken in half and I just can't cope with this anymore. Call me a wuss or weak or whatever you want, I am done.

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Here is something to make you feel better. Write her a congrats. Say something like, "I'm suprised you are engaded. Someone in their right mind would be engaded to you. Only if they knew the real you. I wish him all the luck, he'll sure need it" That should get her water boiling.

No, no, no... do not write this woman anything. Do not give this snake any attention. Leave her alone. Move on. You're freaking crazy if you give her attention.

Obviously she was seeing this guy A LOT longer than you ever knew.

My good. You should have never had anyhting to do with her after the first time she cheated on you.

Seriously - if this woman, who POOPED on your for five years, this upset you this way... you need to go see counseling - go see a therapist this week.

This gal is a horrendous person. She treated you like crap - that isn't any type of relationship. She is very unhealthy person and no one should be with her.

I feel REALLY bad for the SUCKER who is engaged to her. What a moron.

How can she break your heart? You should be massively repulsed by her. You should be happy that she is gone.

I don't know if I know of a woman who has terated a guy worse - most guys would leave way before that.

Ok, I had some time to let things out of my system and tlak to some of my buddies so I am much better today. I totally agree with you wildcat, I don't think anyone could have treated someone worse than this girl did me. She actually called me today... and I let her have it BIG TIME. I said everything that I have wanted to say for the past few months and just let it out. She told me she doesn't want me to hate her, all I said was hate doensnt even beging to describe what I feel for you right now. She told me I could call her and "vent" if I wanted, I just told her I naver wanted to hear her voice again, or see her. She told me she missed me and thinks about me everyday, I just told her goodbye and hung up. Man, I was freaking out last night, plus I was drunk. Thanks for all the support, I don't think it could get any worse than this... knock on wood. Only way to go now is up(I hope).

"She actually called me today......and I let her have it BIG TIME."

GOOD FOR YOU MY MAN!! I normally wouldn't agree with that. But this gal deserves it. I hope you really told her how awful she was to you. I hope you told how awful the cheating was. She's is reall you pretty bad person. I feel bad for the guy who is engaged to her - this gal is still calling you and saying she misses you.


"she told me she missed me and thinks about me everyday" - THIS IS MORE MANIPULATION. UGHHHHHHHHHHHH!! She is just a snake!!

"I just told her I naver wanted to hear her voice again, or see her." - good - now do this. Hopefully she wakes up and realizes how crule she was - but I doubt it - too many women react on feelings.

You will be much stronger after this. You got a lot of great life lessons. It' sgoin gto take time.

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Originally Posted by jeffatl

Ok, I had some time to let things out of my system and tlak to some of my buddies so i am much better today. I totally agree with you wildcat, I dont think anyone could have treated someone worse than this girl did me. She actually called me today......and I let her have it BIG TIME. I said everything that I have wanted to say for the past few months and just let it out. She told me she doesnt want me to hate her, all i said was hate doensnt even beging to describe what I feel for you right now. she told me I could call her and "vent" if I wanted, I just told her I naver wanted to hear her voice again, or see her. she told me she missed me and thinks about me everyday, I just told her goodbye and hung up. Man, I was freaking out last night, plus I ws drunk. thanks for all the support, I dont think it could get any worse than this.........knock on wood. Only way to go now is up(i hope).

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Jeff dear, this little witch with a capital 'B' is a power monger, and the more power she has over men, the better she feels, even to the point of acting kind and caring after spitting her venom. I'm a woman and know what we are capable of, and she takes the cake. Be glad she's out of your life, and if she tries to get back in, tell her you are recording this crap and sending it to her 'fiance' if she does not let up. You need your inner peace now, and a short vacation over the holidays is not a bad idea. Just remember, for a lot of us, the holidays make us more depressed, so stock up on Vitamin D, A, E, and B-50, then get some white and dark blue candles to let light in and give you energy and equalibrium. Please try not to drink much, as this only brings up bad memories and creates and not obviate depression. Stay in contact with us and also help other's on this forum. Until then, have a Happy Thanksgiving.

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Originally Posted by Chery

if she tries to get back in, tell her you are recording this crap and sending it to her 'fiance' if she does not let up.
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Thanks, this made me laugh!! I needed a good laugh. I EALLY appreciate all the help guys, this has truly been a crazy situation. It really has almost been like some kind of bad movie... but I won't let this beat me, I will find "the one" and honestly, I am glad its not her. She doesn't deserve me. :cool:

You will dear, just be careful about those 'rebound' relationships, so give yourself time, have some 'safe' fun, nothing serious for a while. OK?

WILL DO! Trust me, I want no kind of anything for a while. I don't want to bring any baggage on anyone, and I don't feel like dealing with that crap either. I am just going to play the field and have some "safe" fun now. I deserve a break from all this junk and I am going to have a blast. :eek:

Jeff-So sorry to read about what Cruella's engagement did to you. Let me ask you, how do you know that she actually is engaged? I mean, playing devil's advocate here, even if she told you herself, how do you know it's actually true? She just might be whacked out enough to lie to you to drive you nuts!
Just a thought...

Even if it is, she's part of your past, a closed chapter. If you ever meet the guy face to face, thank him from the bottom of your heart, he saved your butt. You could have been the poor schmuck she suckered into a horridly unstable and untruthful marriage. She gives evil women a bad name!

Enjoy your T Day with your friends and or family and be grateful for what you have and even more for what you escaped!

I know its true because I know the guys little brother, and he told me. The funny thing is, even he was like "what the hell!?". True, it does suck, but not in the long run. I am better off, and I am having soooooooo much fun right now doing what ever I want, seriously... single life is a lot better (than being with her). I came to that conclusion last night. I am NOT a "player" or anything like that, but I LOVE to make out (sorry, its just fun). I made out A lot last night (and tonight) and I am having a GREAT time. There is TOTALLY life after this girl, and I have my options open. I am still pretty broken up over this, but I am getting better. One girl at a time... :cool:

p.s. I PRAY I never meet this guy, because I am likely to punch him in the face. Sorry, but I couldn't deal with that. I don't think I have to worry about this because I avoid ALL places where I might see her.

I just really wanted to send out a BIG thanks to all of you that have helped me through this TUFF time in my life. She sent me a text yesterday saying "I really miss your friendship Jeff" and I didn't respond and don't plan on it either. I am FINALLY having a great time being single and dating a new girl. Im taking things REALLY slow, and just having a great time. Again, you guys are amazing. :D

Dude - grow up. Here are the facts - I bet $10 million that she's been dating this guy for well over year. No one gets engaged in a couple months.

You're jealous of this guy and insecure about a woman who is completely worthless and who you should dispise and hate. A woman who thought nothing of you and is still trying to play game with you.

That said - you did all this to yourslef. Sticking around with a gal

Yet you still want this crazy, whacked out, manipulative, lying beatch back. WHY?

"I really miss your friendship Jeff"

With friends like this who needs enemies??

She is no friend. Friends don't walk all over the other person. Friends don't cheat. Friends don't lie. Friends look out for your back.

Friends don't say I love you as they about to get enegaged

Ummmmmm did you not even READ what I wrote? Seriously, why attack me for not responding to what she wrote to me? What is up your butt today? I was only telling you about what was going on, and how I DO NOT want her in my life anymore. I am dating a NEW girl, and have moved on with my life. Jeez, calm down. I think it is YOU that need to grow up and not be so critical of something I didn't even say. Oh well, I am having a great time doing whatever I want to do now and it doesn't really matter what you or anyone else thinks. I know I am feeling 1000 times better about thing whole thing, and I will just pat myself on the back. :cool:

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Originally Posted by jeffatl

Ummmmmm did you not even READ what I wrote? Seriously, why attack me for not responding to what she wrote to me? What is up your butt today? I was only telling you about what was going on, and how I DO NOT want her in my life anymore. I am dating a NEW girl, and have moved on with my life. Jeez, calm down. I think it is YOU that need to grow up and not be so critical of something I didnt even say. Oh well, I am having a great time doing whatever I want to do now and it doesnt really matter what you or anyone else thinks. I know I am feeling 1000 times better about thing whole thing, and I will just pat myself on the back. :cool:

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Jeffie... you avoid places where she goes; you want to knock the guy out... this does NOT sound like a guy whose having fun and fogetting the whitch with a capital 'B', so stop going on the defensive. He's right, you still are NOT over her, so stop saying so. The poor schmuck and her should be totally indifferent to you by now, and stay away from her brother or anyone else in her family. Like I said before, if you are into S and M, I'll be available, cause you are really barking up that tree. Go to Las Vegas over Christmas and get a taste of fantasy for a while, because reality is driving you towards lalala Land. You and I both know that you can't even keep her out of other posts when you try and help others, you still use her as an example too much, instead of giving straight advice. So, drop down and give me 20, NOW! And next time I say jump, ask me how high! Get my meaning?? Come on, dear listen up and please recover! Remember the last date you kept at a distance?

http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/11/11_1_202.gifThat green jealous monster is till there - get rid of him. http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/11/11_13_6.gif Also time to stop feeling sorry.. or angry.

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Originally Posted by jeffatl

I just really wanted to send out a BIG thanks to all of you that have helped me throught this TUFF time in my life. She sent me a text yesterday saying "I really miss your friendship Jeff" and I didnt respond and dont plan on it either. I am FINALLY having a great time being single and dating a new girl. Im taking things REALLY slow, and just having a great time. Again, you guys are amazing. :D

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I seriously hope you mean this, but the post directly before your quote didn't sound like it at all, and your last date, was a wash, remember?

*sigh* :confused: Its true. I am not "over" this whole thing, and I do take things VERY personal at times. I do really appreciate the feedback all of you have given me, and a lot of times I need to be "called out" on my own BS ;) . I guess I am just going through that whole "angry phase" right now, you know, the whole "Im numb to the world crap". I think I am just holding on to that whole angry thing is because it feels better than missing her. I also know that I can't let that anger take hold and burn me up or I will never get over this. Sometimes I feel like kicking myself when I read some of the crap I post on here... :p but hey, that's part of life isn't it? The fact is, I am having a lot more fun now than I was (believe it or not) but I do need other ways of dealing with my problems than I have been. I think I am realizing that I let this crap take over WAY more than I should have, but that is the beauty in being able to read all the BS I have posted over the past few months. I think what I need is an electronic !SHOCK! Whenever I bring that 'B' up! :eek: . Sorry I blew up on you a bit wildcat, I know all you guys are trying to do is help. I think before I post on here again I need to get my sh*t together, and stop feeling sorry for myself. I am tired of being a baby about this, and I am sick of complaining and looking for validation for the things I do. I have NEVER been that way before, I have always had that "take no crap" attitude with life and I can't let this change that. I made some mistakes in my past relationship, and now its time to learn from that and MOVE ON!! Sometimes I have a hard time letting crap go (if you couldn't tell) but that's OK. I have learned A lot about myself, and I want... no, NEED to pull my head out of my as*. Time to grow up... I will be back, but I agree, I can't keep looking for pitty and need to get confidence I'm myself back before I can be of ANY help to anyone else. :o PEACE!!

Jeff, we all go through 'crap' like this at some point in our lives, and in many ways it is a test. You are just taking a little longer to comprehend and 'pass' this test, that all. Please don't go through your depression,(and this is exactly what your current post indicates) by yourself. This is the perfect time of year for people as sensitive as you to drag yourself deeper, so watch for those danger signs. We do care, otherwise we would have just given you a whole bunch of BS instead of helping you out of this quagmire, so feel confident in the fact that you can count on us, any time, even if you don't think so at the moment. So head up! - and don't let this drag you down, OK? Try and enjoy a holiday with new people, new places, and you'll notice that you are not the only one going through this. I sincerely wish you all the best and hope you stay in contact with us.

http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat...22/23_50_3.gifLook forward, not back!

It is amazing how those websites will get you in trouble. Be it friendster, Facebook, or myspace, you can't let them show how you feel at the time. I was stupid enough to let those show the "at the time" way I felt as opposed to how I truly felt overall. Let me just say that it caused a lot of baggage and pain for absolutely nothing. Live and learn

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Originally Posted by digibrink

It is amazing how those websites will get you in trouble. Be it friendster, facebook, or myspace, you can't let them show how you feel at the time. I was stupid enough to let those show the "at the time" way i felt as opposed to how i truly felt overall. let me just say that it caused a lot of baggage and pain for absolutely nothing. live and learn

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WRONG! You did not go through this episode in life for 'absolutely nothing'! You gained experience and attitudes that you otherwise would not have. This helps us all grow and learn, therefore going another step further to getting to the final 'me'. It's all a part of life and will help you grow. You might be a little bitter now, but you will reflect on this a few years from now and be able to realize that you have gained a lot. Don't let your bitterness turn into disrespect for others, that's not the point, and also keep your self-respect. Good luck, and keep us posted.

http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/15/15_9_16.gif P.S. We all do this on our free time and really appreciate feedback if our answers/advice helped or not, please click the Rate This Post link located on the blue date line above our names on the right side, next to the number of the post, click on Approve or Disapprove, and give a comment. Thanks!