Update:
Today at work, at the end of our shift (midnight), my ex asked me if I was waiting for her. Before I could answer, she tells me that she was staying late(keep in mind the work place closes at midnight) and then changed it to how she was inivited somewhere(she was acting all funny and nervous). I also happened to notice that the guy she is sneeking around with was pacing around, waiting to drop her home I bet.
Well I just looked at her and said to her to stop lying and tell the truth for once in her life (her face dropped), then I turned around and walked out the door.

You should have seen her face, it was a classic. I must have ethier hurt her or pissed her off. My bet is on the latter, because she has no heart to get hurt.

What do you people think?

Good. Now leave her alone and forget about her. Don't return he e-mails. Be nice and short with her if she comes up to you.

She for the longest time worked on your jealousies. She was toying with you.

It's about time, you were waiting for a chance to be abrupt to her, now you had it. So go on with your life and stop thinking about her or the other guy. He's just a tool to her also, so don't be mean to him because of what she's doing. Be professional and get back to what you are being paid to do, your job. From now on also keep your personal life separate from professional life, it's better.


http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/3/3_3_102.gifgood job, now back to work.

Now, just be able to hear the truth from her, and don't react to it. What a wonderful man you are. You empower women.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Katiy

Now, just be able to hear the truth from her, and don't react to it. What a wonderful man you are. You empower women.

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One_life - listening to her now would only open up old wounds, leave it be and keep your pride! If you are into S & M, I'll give you all the lashes with a wet noodle you want.

http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/4/4_2_111v.gifJust kidding dear, but wash her out of your hair now, you're doing good.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Chery

One_life - listening to her now would only open up old wounds, leave it be and keep your pride! If you are into S & M, I'll give you all the lashes with a wet noodle you want.

http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/4/4_2_111v.gifJust kidding dear, but wash her out of your hair now, you're doing good.

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So the thing to do here, is to ignore her. Got you. I'll just do that. For some reason I feel better. It is like I've taken back all the power. Man the look on her face, it was like someone slaped her on the face. I know she is fuming mad about it. Speaking from past experience she can't handle being told the truth. No body likes being called a liar, especially if you are a liar.

As for the S&M thing, I could try it out for you. LOL

Quote:

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Originally Posted by one_life

So the thing to do here, is to ignore her. Got you. I'll just do that. For some reason I feel better. It is like I've taken back all the power. Man the look on her face, it was like someone slaped her on the face. I know she is fuming mad about it. Speaking from past exprience she can't handle being told the truth. No body likes being called a liar, especialy if you are a liar.

As for the S&M thing, I could try it out for you. LOL

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You got it, babe!

http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/4/4_17_211.gif

Don't take that as a victory. It's WAY too late Just treat her as a colleague/professional. DO NOT anser any more of her persoanl e-mails - questions.

Again - find some one OUTSIDE of work. You will most likely end up with more crap in the long run.

Start being a man - meet women. Be a man - no more Wuss behavior. You're a busy guy.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Chery

You got it, babe!

http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/4/4_17_211.gif

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Looks like you found another **!

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Wildcat21

Don't take that as a victory. It's WAY too late Just treat her as a colleague/professional. DO NOT anser any more of her persoanl e-mails - questions.

Again - find some one OUTSIDE of work. You will most likely end up with more crap in the long run.

Start being a man - meet women. Be a man - no more Wuss behavior. You're a busy guy.

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Wildcat do me a favour. Instead of posting blindly. Read my previous posts. Do just go these websites and copy and paste them to here? None of it sounds like your own or makes sense to the context. For instance what e-mail exchange are you babbling about. We haven't exchange e-mails since the breakup.

You sound like a cave man. BE MAN- NO WUSS- ME HUNGRY

I beg you to read, then post according the context.

Please do not start on how you deal only in tough love.

You did not read mine. And you constatly have said you return her e-mail.

You still want his gal back and she isn't coming back. Too many mistakes.

Everything you've done is soft until you told her off.

Truth hurts.

Keep doing what you're doing gand tell me how that's working out for you.

If you ever, and I mean ever want to move on with your life, get away from your X, they will try to control you, keep you unhappy by dragging along your feelings.

If your ex works where you do, change jobs, move to a new city
heck move to a new country if you have to. But if you wish to start a new life and move on, you have to do that move on.

I agree - that's why it's best not to have anything to do with them.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by one_life

Wildcat do me a favour. Instead of posting blindly. Read my previous posts. Do just go these websites and copy and paste them to here? None of it sounds like your own or makes sense to the context. For instance what e-mail exchange are you babbling about. We haven't exchange e-mails since the breakup.

You sound like a cave man. BE MAN- NO WUSS- ME HUNGRY

I beg you to read, then post according the context.

Please do not start on how you deal only in tough love.

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One_life, that's just wildcat's way, but he means well, just like me and my smileys'. Remember that nobody's 100% perfect. Go punch a pillow, and get back with us when things get too stressful.
Ta Ta for Now, Chery

She wants your body really bad :D

All right people, don't make me get mid evil on your asses. LOL

So, I feel better just ignoring her at work. I don't even anknowlege her anymore. I know it is driving her up the wall. She brought it on herself. Lied to me during our relationship and lied to me at the end of our relationship and also continues to lie to this day. She should learn that her actions have consequences.

She can't stay friends with me, so she can be satisfied(I don't get that). All this time she thought that she had me tangled around her finger. No way in hell am I going to give her that. Like I said befoe she hates being ignored, and that is exactly what I'm going to do. When she has respect for me and does not regard me as one of her chess play pieces in her stupid games, then maybe I'll acknowlege her. Respect is earned, and as of today she lost what little respect I had for her.

Get Mid-Evil?? :D :D :D :D Very Funny!
You are on the right track my man, keep it up!

How about not thinking about this gal anymore and moving on. The fact that your still posting about her is a big problem. Why on earth do you care about this woman? She lied to you, plays games, is with another guy AT WORK and you still are upset over her? Move brother - it's time. Find a real woman.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Katiy

Boo Hoo! Cry me a river.................

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Katiy - You are into genealogy? I think you are missing some and need to find them - sure hope you find them soon. You said I was an alien in one post, at least I have all my links, which I doubt you have..

Sorry this had to happen on this thread, but I'm sick and tired of this crap and don't need to take any more.

:mad:

Quote:

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Originally Posted by one_life

Alright people, don't make me get mid evil on your asses. LOL

So, I feel better just ignoring her at work. I don't even anknowlege her anymore. I know it is driving her up the wall. She brought it on herself. Lied to me during our relationship and lied to me at the end of our relationship and also continues to lie to this day. She should learn that her actions have consequences.

She can't stay friends with me, so she can be satisfied(I don't get that). All this time she thought that she had me tangled around her finger. No way in hell am I going to give her that. Like I said befoe she hates being ignored, and that is exactly what I'm going to do. When she has respect for me and does not regard me as one of her chess play pieces in her stupid games, then maybe I'll acknowlege her. Respect is earned, and as of today she lost what little respect I had for her.

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Honey, don't worry about her anymore. The only one you can change is yourself - so don't waste your time with anyone else or how they might, could, should, turn out. This is taking away energy you could put to better use.
http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/15/15_9_16.gifP.S. instead of letmeno, I meant YOU! and sorry I had to tell someone else off on your thread..

Things have taken a drastic change for my ex. The guy she was seeing at work turned into psychopath. Appearently she wanted to break it off with him and he wouldn't hear of it. I had no idea about all of this, because I was ignoring her at work. I came to know only when the guy approched me at work and made some comments about the ex. Then I get a call later on from the ex asking me not give out any personal info about her to this guy. I tell her that I wouldn't give out anything out to this guy, and how could she even think I'd do that. I also told her to leave me out of their problems.

That is when she starts to appoligize (crying) and tells me how this guy is making death threats towards her and harassing her through phone calls and text messages and also threating to show up at her home. That is when I tell her she should call the police and report him, but she says she'll first make a comlpliant at work. I tell her to do what she thinks is right.

Because of the holidays the HR dept was closed so she could not complain to them, but she did tell her supervisors.

Appreantly the guy is so pariniod that he thinks she is breaking up with him because of me.

He threatened to kill me at work because I told him to leave her alone. He wanted to fight me. The dumb thing is that he did in front of the supervisers at work. Well there is an on going investigation at work right now. He is been suspended in the mean while, I guess he'll be terminated soon. It is no big deal to me, because I've been threatened before many times, but it is causing a lot of grief for the ex, I see it in her eyes, even though she tells me she is OK.

I think she used me as an excuse to break up with him. He just got crazier.

PS. All the threats are real towards her, she is not faking it. I'm feeling sorry for her.
This an update.

Damn bro, sorry to hear that. I think you are going about it the right way though, big ups to you! Where are you located? I got your back!! In in Atlanta buddy, hahahahahaha. Good luck with all of this, seriously, way to handle this like a real adult!:cool:

one_life, just read your latest post here. That was a pretty unexpected turn of events, actually pretty scary. If this guy is truly a nut, I would HIGHLY recommend that you begin looking for a new job as quickly as you can. I know you said you've been threatened many times before, but it only takes one guy to lose control and decide he wants to really hurt you. These people are unreasonable and once they crack they are capable of creating chaos and causing damage beyond repair. When your ex goes to HR to report this guy, it is going to make him pretty mad and being fired isn't going to stop him from coming after her or you for that matter.

I think you were right about her maybe using you as an excuse to dump him, but that just goes to show you she hasn't changed. She's willing to let this guy wreak havoc on you to get rid of him. Not cool. I would keep as much distance as possible from her if I were you. She got herself into this mess because she was playing games with the both of you, let her get herself out of it. If she comes crying to you again, tell her you aren't the police or HR and there's nothing you can or will do about it. Please look out for yourself.

Babe, as hard as it seems, I agree with momincali. The fact that this young lady used you to get rid of him, and before that, used him to get your reaction shows that she's still only thinking about herself and wants that 'knight in shining armor'. She needs to take matters into her own hands and stop playing the 'poor little me' bit.
You did the right thing advising her to go through the proper officials and to the police. If she comes to you again, suggest she move to another place to live, but that's as far as your 'obligations' should go, except for maybe suggesting she see a therapist. Don't be her 'crutch' or you'll wind up going back to where we started and I don't think you want that. You have a big heart, but that also leaves you open for more pain, so first and foremost you must think of your stability. Don't go through any guilt trip - you've gone through enough. Good luck and have a peaceful and healthy New Year!

Yeah dude you handled this the right way. Hopeflly she LEARNS something from this and that she is WAY better off with a Good Guy like you.

You should help her out as a guy like this is dangerous in the work place. I would separately go to the HR department and advise on what happened - ONLY IF your company does not have a policy or highly frown on inner-company dating. You need documentation that he threatened you - and with her documentation your company will see he is a loose cananon. Goingto the police would be a good step on this guy as you need to document that.

LIKE I ALWAYS SAY - don't dip your pen in the company ink. 80% of the time it turns out bad.

This other guy needs to learn from it as well.

What a freak with a guy saying no to a gal. This a big sickness.

WOW, I can't believe my eyes. Wildcat suggesting that I help out my ex. Are you feeling OK? Lol.

Anyway, being serious and all, thanks for all the advises, to all of you.

I'll keep you guys updated

In this case - yes. Now you see the perils of work romance.

Hopefully she has learned something BIG here.

Oh and Dude - if you still feel this gal is worthy (make sure on this) - it would be your time to SHINE!!

If not, then maybe you have lkearned something as well.

So what happened Dude??

The guy beens fired from work. He's been terminated.

Well, what can I say. The ex and I are talking now. I took her to the movies the other night. We spend more time together at work. I guess she truly sees that even after all she did to me, I still stood up for her. At this point I'm enjoying her company. I don't know what the future holds. Maybe there is a chance for us. Only time will tell.

Any suggestions?

Good for you man. Just have your barriers up this time AND show you've changed - show you are your hip to it.

Have fun with her... make sure to tease her, and make fun of her once in a while. Women crave that - seriously. Amp it up. Just be the fun guy - no pressure - don't ask ANY 'where do we stand questions', that's a woman's job and beprepared with a funny come back.

That guy seems like a massive loose canoon. He deserved to be fired.

And for the love of GOD!! - please give her space. Don't contact her 5 times a day!! Make her contact you. REMEMBER to do your own thing - hang with your friends, family, etc.

Be busy once a while. Have a hobby.

Learn to SAY NO to her.

She is not your life. She is only part of your life. Don't put as much importance into this early on or you will be back where you were before.

I BET she has learned something as well.

Having read your entire post plus the comments the only thing that I worry about is you work in the same place. Not many that I have seen handle it very well ,but I wish you luck and I hope you and your lady happiness!:cool:

Quote:

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Originally Posted by one_life

The guy beens fired from work. He's been terminated.

Well, what can I say. The ex and I are talking now. I took her to the movies the other night. We spend more time together at work. I guess she truly sees that even after all she did to me, I still stood up for her. At this point I'm enjoying her company. I don't know what the future holds. Maybe there is a chance for us. Only time will tell.

Any suggestions?

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After all the trials and tribulations you both have gone through, maybe there is a chance for you to make it. You both are aware of what you are capable of and she just might know, understand, and appreciate you more now, I certainly hope so. You're right, no one knows what the future holds, but we can always try and grab that bit of happiness which we all deserve. Good luck dear, and keep us posted.

M2

http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/15/15_9_16.gif

Thanks for the advises boys and girls lol.

I'll keep you all posted.

I bet she may have a new appreciation for you.

JUST REMEMBER what pushed her away I nthe first place and do the opposite.

I think I'm getting too comfortable and close with my ex. From what I can tell she looks likes she is interested. I believe I should back off a bit. We spend too much time together at work and I drop her off at home these days. When I'm with her I tend to slip and call her honey or baby. I do a lot of touching too and she does too. Sometime It feels like we are like a couple again, but without the kissing and love making. Other times it feels like we best friends. I'm afraid it is too soon to get serious. I don't want to rush things. Any suggestions on how take this slow?

This might sound selfish, but this time around I'm looking out for my own feelings. I don't want to get hurt.


Yes I do go on dates. And yes I do go out with my friends. I'm very busy with my life outside work. The problem is when I'm at work I'm spending too much time with her. And no I don't call her.

"I believe I should back off a bit". - That would be wise. Don't fall into the friend zone.

"around I'm looking out for my own feelings" - you have to always - build barriers.

There are no fast or fixed rules for dating and relationships because everyone is so different.Where you may be experienced that doesn't mean that my advice would work for you.We all have to ue our best instincts to work our way through the web of life and no one can predict the outcome.Sometimes you must weigh the risk of your actions against what you want as the final outcome.Just because you take the risk is no guarantee you will get what you want ,but if you don't take a risk you will seldom get what you want,So if you've fiqured out what it is you want, I say go for it!If your not so sure I would hold back and give myself time to think about what it is I really wanted and come up with a plan to get it.Please find out how YOU really feel before you tamper with the feelings of another!:cool:

Assess your 'friendship' again and read the thread from the beginning, if need be to refresh your memory of what you went through. Please do not go so far as to seek revenge of any type as this would only hurt you inside. If you do care about this woman, you have to heal and learn to forgive, only when you can do that, then you can take it further. You've been the 'knight in shining armor' now and have had many other roles in her life so far - what role does she have in yours?
I'm sure you'll know what to do - no matter what you decide. Again, keep us posted.

Are there succuss stories of people getting back together and it working out?Is it a good idea or bad?