Originally Posted by
HistorianChick
You know, I'm actually quite saddened at all of this.
The people on this thread have given their honest (albeit sometimes a little "rough around the edges") opinions about what you, the OP, should do in your situation. They have given advice from past experiences, the school-of-hard-knocks, and just plain common sense. They have tried to understand, tried to rationalize, tried cyber-yelling, and the like to nail their points into your head.
But, they can't make you believe or understand what you're not willing to believe or understand.
You are a hopeless romantic. I really do think you believe this woman is your "other half." You believe that if you wait long enough, she will realize it and eventually ride off into the glorious sunset with you.
It is your prerogative to believe whatever you wish.... that is what being human means. We are given the ability to make our own choices, come what may.
You have made the decision to give your heart completely to this woman. No, we do not know the whole story. All we know is that she is married, that her marriage is a sham, that she says she is in love with you, and that you are her "piece" on the side.
I do not believe that married people should be involved with anyone other than their partner. Period. And, I will never change that opinion.
But, that is MY choice to make.
If you do decide to continue loving this woman, giving her your entire heart (because love is a choice), you MUST take the high road, disappear from her life, and let HER make up her own mind.
Love her until her dying day, but let her make the decisions that she NEEDS to make about her marriage. She has a free will, too.
People do what they want to do. She is doing what she wants. No one can make someone do what they choose not to do. Her husband is not tying her up, threatening her life. He is simply maintaining a relationship. (Yes, relationship. They have a paper signed, sealed, and dated to prove that they have a relationship)
Bottom line: we cannot make you not love this woman or wait for her until she decides that you're her prince charming. We cannot convince you to do anything that you do not want to do... in the end, we all do what we feel is morally right. Let her make up her own mind.
Take your bow and sit in the audience until she decides to pull the curtain. If you choose to wait for her, great, but let her be. Let her fix her own life.
Don't force her. Don't expect things of her. Don't influence her. Don't try and convince her that you're her best. If she feels that, she will make things happen where she can be with you.
Leave their relationship alone and wait to see how the cards fall.... if that is your choice.