If I loved a girl and she was my girlfriend, there would be no need for another girl.

If I truly loved the girl I was with I wouldn't even consider it for fear of losing what I loved.

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Originally Posted by sGt HarDKorE

if i loved a girl and she was my girlfriend, there would be no need for another girl.

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I would normally agree but here's what I've heard was going on. My son, my ex and this girl he's now seeing all work at the same place. Well tonight another co-worker called my son and said he needed to tell him some things. He said that approxamatly 5-6 weeks ago he overheard this girl talking about me to my boyfriend. He said that she asked him how he could stand not sleeping with me 5 nights a week ( I work nights so I wasn't home 5 nights a week) She was heard saying that our sex life must suck and if he was with her she would have sex with him every night. She also asked if he wanted children. My boyfriend said yes and she said then why don't you have any with your girlfriend. He said because we just have'nt ever gotten pregnant. So her response was how can you be with a woman that can't even give you children.. Then she was overheard asking him why he was always stressed out. He said because my girlfriend and I have a lot of money problems. And she said well if you were with me we wouldn't have money problems because she would even get a second job just to keep him happy.. And she was said to always be talking about how great she was in bed and that she would make him forget all his problems. So I wonder can the power of flirting and putting me in a negative light made him leave me when before this we were very happy?

Not if he truly loves you "missing" sorry!

It may, I mean if someone offered you everything you thought you were missing, would you take it? He is most likely in love with the idea of being more wealthy and such. Let him know how you feel about this and that you are trying as hard as you can. If he leaves you then you don't need him. Then when he realizes the other girl is probably a fake he will realize how good he was with you.

Thanks sgt hardcore,

She is a fake, my sister knows her and told me that this girl is BAD NEWS.. And I can't wait for the day he realizes just how much he gave up to be with a slimey gutter rat

Nice one "Missing"! Now you're talking! Pick yourself up and show him that you're doing fine without him. Look your best, act confident and smile. Then watch as he wonders what he's missing and why you're suddenly doing so well. He won't be able to help himself. He'll be as jealous as hell. You'll have the power and you can set the agenda!
Good luck and best wishes.

**edit**

Don't fret, he's not worth worrying about, blatantly!

But that doesn't matter, what I want to know is why you haven't dropped-kicked her in the back of the head yet? He he!

My heart still goes out to you with your pain. Its awful, I told you my boyfriend left me four weeks ago, talked to him two weeks ago, which I went to talk to him at his house, and he didn't want the relationship anymore after a little over two yrs. The day we broke up the week before, we made plans to spend the day together in the morning. By evening, he said you could have came over and in the same sentence HE WAS DONE... He has never came back and I am crushed. People say no contact, which I am doing. Which I am the one that always cave, so this is different for me, but nothing is sparking.. To see your boyfriend in Wal-Mart must of broke your heart. Did he have this girl on the side, and you not know it? My heart goes out to you. You think you really know someone, but guess what we really don't. I think they have another side to them. Thank God your not married to him, if he is doing this to you now.. HE knows he is hurting you too.. Stay strong, it's hard... I just keep on praying, its tough... and heartbreaking.

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Originally Posted by sully123

My heart still goes out to you with your pain. Its awful, I told you my boyfriend left me four weeks ago, talked to him two weeks ago, which I went to talk to him at his house, and he didn't want the relationship anymore after a little over two yrs. The day we broke up the week before, we made plans to spend the day together in the morning. By evening, he said you could of came over and in the same sentence HE WAS DONE...He has never came back and I am crushed. People say no contact, which I am doing. which I am the one that always cave, so this is different for me, but nothing is sparking.. To see your boyfriend in Wal-Mart must of broke your heart. Did he have this girl on the side, and you not know it? My heart goes out to you. You think you really know someone, but guess what we really don't. I think they have another side to them. Thank God your not married to him, if he is doing this to you now..HE knows he is hurting you too.. Stay strong, it's hard....I just keep on praying, its tough... and heartbreaking.

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Thanks sully my heart goes out to you also. As for him having her on the side, no not in a physical sense anyway. My son works with both of them so he would've been unable to do anything there and when he wasn't at work he was always with me. Like I've said we had a very close relationship and did everything together. My son and I did find out tonight from another co-worker that this girl was making a play for my boyfriend constantly for the past 6 weeks or so. So maybe she was offering something I didn't have

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Originally Posted by iAMfromHuntersBar

**edit**

Don't fret, he's not worth worrying about, blatantly!

But that doesn't matter, what I want to know is why you haven't dropped-kicked her in the back of the head yet?! He he!

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Oh man I want to so bad you have no idea. Buttttt I want to be the bigger person. In the end when and if he does realize what a stupid mistake he's made he'll know that I allowed him to find that out on his own.

Don't beat yourself up on this one. YOU DID NOTHING! He has the problem.. and he has to live with what he did to you, and I am sure, it does bother him. YOU just don't spend 7 yrs with someone and then forget about them.. You sound so mature, compared to him. He is running for what reason I don't know. But it hurts, you said he is 25, am I mistaken? How old is this girl? YOU don't deserve this, as I don't either. I wake up every morning empty.. then you wonder what their doing? We have too concentrate on us, but it hards, they are going on living their lives.. keep praying, God will answer...

I believe she is 22 and with all the drama that goes along with being 22

HI MISSINGHIM2MUCH,

I've just read your post.

This is the way men behave after breaking up.. they distract themselves to fill an emotional void. Its nothing about you its just the way a man get over a breakup.

Please start to focus on yourself as soon as possible.

A lot of us here have been left like you wondering what happened etc, when really there is no answer. He probably just was not ready.

Missing, My ex fiancé broke up with me 5-6 times in 5 years. On this brake up it's been a little over 6 months since she broke my heart. And I do know what you are going through. Still 6 months later I sometimes have very bad days and very good days. The reason I am starting to have very good days is I let go of her (well 99% I did) When I let go of her I was almost 4.5 months into break. I spent 4.5 months crying, hurting and being miserable. It's when I let go I started getting better. That 1% that I haven't let go of is now starting too bring me down a lttle now. Sometimes I feel like I'm moving backwards. I am at a point were I have healed enough that I will never take her back again or speak to her for what she did and how she used me. When you let go and start to heal you may not even want him back for how he treated you when he broke up with you. Just give it time and work on yourself and trust me when I say this Time Does Heal.

If you truly loved someone, like I loved my ex fiancé I would never let another woman come between my and her. And with the her saying him not having kids, If my ex couldn't get pregnet which she did have trouble I would never leave her because of that. That's true love.

We had a great 3.5 year relationship between us she was going to school full time while I was working.we were about to get engage. My parents liked her but her parents dislike me A LOT. They have tried to separate us for the past two years(believe me they tried about every possible way). When she was in school I would help her from studying, money, food, clothing, etc. while her dad worked out of town and her mom would be gambling 24/7. we were basically married except we weren t sleeping under the same roof.she was a type of girl that if my mom would say she loved me she would get jealous, she would tell me she loved me in a daily basis. The day before she left she was telling me how important and helpful I had been in her life and then she was gone. I miss her a lot but what I believed is that my ex wife and her mom has something to do with this. NOTE: while my divorce my ex wife would call the cops in daily basis(about 65 police reports) accusing me of numerous accusation going from beating her up to the worst imaginable thing(without proofs). While my divorce district attorney asked me to sign a guilty plea and I would get a 1 year probation, or fight and my lawyer wanted 5,000 dollars just to start my case. So by me signing that paper made me guilty of all the accusation meaning my ex wife probably used that and confused my ex girlfriends mind. Now my ex wife calls me in a daily basis(I won t answer)[email protected]:confused: but my advice to you is pray and read your bible

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Originally Posted by SAB123

Missing, My ex fiance broke up with me 5-6 times in 5 years. On this brake up it's been a little over 6 months since she broke my heart. And I do know what you are going thru. Still 6 months later I sometimes have very bad days and very good days. The reason I am starting to have very good days is I let go of her (well 99% I did) When I let go of her I was almost 4.5 months into break. I spent 4.5 months crying, hurting and being miserable. It's when I let go I started getting better. That 1% that I havent let go of is now starting too bring me down a lttle now. Sometimes I feel like I'm moving backwards. I am at a point were I have healed enough that I will never take her back again or speak to her for what she did and how she used me. When you let go and start to heal you may not even want him back for how he treated you when he broke up with you. Just give it time and work on yourself and trust me when I say this Time Does Heal.

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It seems a lot of people on this site have broken up and got back together one or more times. And after they hurt you several times you get on with your lifes. This is the first time he's ever hurt me in 7 yrs so its easy for me to think that he's just making some crazy choicees right now and will be sorry soon. Does it usually take more than one breakup to convince you its over?

No, 4.5 months into my breakup I would have taken her back again. Even thou I still think and miss her and her son I would never dream of taking her back. It because I gave myself a chance to heal this time. And I see what type of selfish user she is. When you hurt you don't see the bad in a person just the good things. Although I'm not completely healed, I'm healed just enough to say NO this time. Hopefully in about 5-6 months I should be completely healed.

I don't think he lied, I think he was being true to his young nature, despite the level of maturity that you gave him. I think your love turned to dependence, and you where much more emotionally invested in this than he was, so as hard as it is, do what I and others have been telling you, let it go and move on with your life, and tell your son to stop giving you a play by play report on his business. Get your own life in order.

I've gotten a lot of good advice on this forum. I thought long and hard about everything that everyone has said. I have taken it very seriously. I know in my head that he's not ever coming back. I know in my head that I need to move on. I also know in my head that its my only means of surviving this. My only obsticle is that in my heart I don't believe it. Any of it. In my heart I believe he still loves me. In my heart I believe he's come back home to me. So how do you convince your heart what your head already knows?

Moving away from hearts. You heart just pumps blood. In time you will move on. Just stay busy and trying out new things and improving yourself.

There is no quick fix.
Like Jiser said try new things. Do something that you have never done before. That way there are no past memories attached to it. And over time, things will just work out in your head/heart. Be strong you'll get though it!

If you believe it's over. Your heart will heal from that day forward.

As long as you acknowledge the worst, you'll heal for the best.

That's the secret to recovery.

I swear all of you need some kind of award... If I hadn't found this website I wouldn't have survived. Not every day is this positive. But I'm thankful to have this positive day. Who knows maybe I'll have another one tomorrow.

You really seem like such a lovely person and you and your ex were together for a long time of course you are going to have a broken heart. You have gotten over your first hurdle of accepting what is going on that's the first step towards healing.

Focus on your life and surround yourself with people who love you and care for you. Throw yourself back into your life and just try to have some fun. Some days will be better then others but as the days tick by you will find more and more strength and will be mending your heart more and more. Of course on the bad days you pop on here and say HELP. We are always here.

Hi guys,

I haven't been here in a while. I've been trying to get on with my life and hang with family and friends. Its been 5 weeks now since my boyfriend walked out on me and I can't seem to make much progress. I still live in the house we shared and everything reminds me of him. I spend a lot of time at my sons house so I'm not alone in our home. The pain is just to bad for me at home. I've had lots of people on this site tell me and other threads I've read that he didn't just decide to leave suddenly that he was thinking about it for some time. I don't think he was though. He was happy, he told me that all the time. He wanted to buy a house together and adopt a child with me because we were having trouble getting pregnant. He came home from work daily and hugged me and told me he misses me so much when he's at work that he can't waif to get home. Does any of this sound like an unhappy person? I read on another thread that the blissfully happy one usually misses the signs that the other is unhappy but he seemed more blissfully happy than I did. Don't get me wrong I was very happy and I told him so all the time. He just showed his feelings more than I did. The only thing I can figure is he was tempted by someone else to the point that he had to see if he was missing anything. I know he was young when we got together so I know he missed out on the things he should've been doing during those years. He spent his adolesence with me when he should've been running wild. Now I think the temptation of someone different influenced his decision. I just don't know how to make my love and my pain go away. I've been doing all the keeping busy stuff that's supposed to help but nothings working. How do I get him out of my heart?

I wish I could help, I'm going through the same thing though. 12 years and we have been split up for a month. Some days I feel OK but today was very bad, I did some cleaning and found some things that really got me going.

I think in my case my GF didn't trust me, so she left before I had the chance to. It does hurt bad. I was getting ready for marriage, kids, getting close to buying a house. And now I've got nothing. This is the hardest thing I've gone through so believe me I know how you feel.

But I wouldn't say that he is running wild because he didn't get a chance to while with you. I never got into running around, it wasn't my style. It could be something else.

Its going to take time. 5 weeks seems like a long time but in your healing time its not much.

Maybe shake up your house. Move the furniture around, change everything around, get rid of whatever reminds you of him the most. If necessary move (kidding!). Just change your surroundings to reflect the new single you. You need to celebrate you life now instead of still feeling blue. It will give you something else to take your mind off things and can help change the energy in your house.

I have been asking myself this question for the last 2 weeks! I was, in what I thought was the perfect relationship with a woman that I loved dearly. We were together 3 years and from one day to the next she finished it. Up until that last day everything was perfect, love, sex, attention everything that you expect! There was no obivious sign that something was wrong. I have asked myself again and again if there was something I should have noticed. There is nothing I can think of. After meeting another man on a night out, she made arrangements to see him again! After the date she came home and finished it.
In the discussions that followed, she came up every time with a different reason why she cheated on me and wanted me out! First it was the business trips (too many) then the fact that I had to have contact to my ex-girlfriend who is the mother of my 2 year daughter! The discussions ended yesterday with her statement that she never really loved me! That has to be rubbish!
Is she trying to convince herself that she is doing the right thing by making such statements, when she knows deep down it was a mistake or is she trying to make sure I don't have any hopes of getting back with her? She has been stone cold since she finished it and is treating me like the man who had cheated her. She has become a different person overnight!
So although it seems the love has gone overnight, I don't really think it can happen so fast! Maybe these people are in love but still waiting for something better to arrive!
:confused:

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Originally Posted by tony0508

I have been asking myself this question for the last 2 weeks! I was, in what I thought was the perfect relationship with a woman that I loved dearly. We were together 3 years and from one day to the next she finished it. Up until that last day everything was perfect, love, sex, attention everything that you expect! There was no obivious sign that something was wrong. I have asked myself again and again if there was something I should have noticed. There is nothing I can think of. After meeting another man on a night out, she made arrangements to see him again! After the date she came home and finished it.
In the discussions that followed, she came up every time with a different reason why she cheated on me and wanted me out! First it was the business trips (too many) then the fact that I had to have contact to my ex-girlfriend who is the mother of my 2 year daughter! The discussions ended yesterday with her statement that she never really loved me! That has to be rubbish!
Is she trying to convince herself that she is doing the right thing by making such statements, when she knows deep down it was a mistake or is she trying to make sure I don't have any hopes of getting back with her? She has been stone cold since she finished it and is treating me like the man who had cheated her. She has become a different person overnight!
So althought it seems the love has gone overnight, I don't really think it can happen so fast! Maybe these people are in love but still waiting for something better to arrive!
:confused:

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Right Tony some people are in Love but are just also waiting for something better to come along... Most people are like that!! Funny that is. BUT SO TRUE

I wouldn't worry about it. It just happens, let the past lie.

:( omg
I totally feel the same.. your boyfriend well should I say x... sounds a lot like mine :(
yh I do believe that they stop luvin u... I know my x luved me

People who get dumped, rarely see it coming, and so they are in shock. Dumpee's have been thinking on it for sometime, an finally, are very well prepared and ready to change the status of the relationship

5 Weeks is not along time at all. Jees I am 8 months out of a 6 month relationship and I still think about it a lot. Everyone is different though. Just keep on NC and enjoying life. IMPROVE IMPROVE and take every oppurtinity. In time life will be great :)

I think love really can just dissaper. After all, love is something we glorify as something specail from the heart, when really its just chemicals in the brain. At the end of a day, Love is just an over-used word to describe a greater amount of feelings for someone then normal. And the word 'love' is mostly used to gain something.

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Originally Posted by Jiser

5 Weeks is not along time at all. jees I am 8 months out of a 6 month relationship and I still think about it alot. Everyone is different though. Just keep on NC and enjoying life. IMPROVE IMPROVE and take every oppurtinity. In time life will be great :)

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Wow Jiser if you're 8 months out of a 6 month relationship and are still thinking about it then it must take forever to get over a 7 yr relationship. I am improving though I've lost some weight and already have the guy down stairs hitting on me. Problem is he lives with someone and has a baby so I don't intend on going down that road.

Yeh good plan lol! Everyone is an individual, It just happens that it was my first real relationship so it hit me big time even though everyone I know, work, family, friends told me to finish it long before she did. The problem with me not getting over it was the constant contact with her including going to a festival and clubbing + msn contact, her doing some nasty things in front of me.

I would say a lot of the time I am a very sensitive and emotional person (take things personally) and I think about things too much, espescially nasty words or critisicm. : (: ( Probably these things haven't helped me move on.

How about change your focus on your life, set a goal- usually a career goal, stay busy, keep your obiligation... that way, you feel less pain.:)

I know its not easy going no contact, and going through complete hell. We all have been there, so we sympathize with your pain, anguish, and misery, because 7 years is a helluva long time to be in love, and now its gone. Make some new friends, and do things you enjoy, and if you don't have a to do list, make one, and get busy with it. It will get better, my word.