I think most of your problem is You needed more than he had to give, and you take that as a personal slap at you, from him so you end up disappointed, rejected and guilty I think because you tried everything you could think of to make him give you what you thought you deserved from him. The truth is you could never accept who, and how he was, so now he has to be gay, right. I honestly think that you two were opposites that attracted but could not find the common ground to make this work for you both. I bet he in his own way, was as confused by your emotions, as you were by his seeming lack of them. This is no ones fault, so don't disparage him for not meeting your mind, it happens in life and relationships. The only question is, how you deal with your feelings from this point on, so you should, I think, go back, make sure he gets his stuff, wish him well and apologise for any bad things you said or did, and wish him well and move on. No blame, no shame! In this way maybe you can mend the hurt and have better feelings and allow those feeling to be put behind you. I feel for you, and hope this helps to rid you of the bad feelings, with a positive attitude and a chance to move forward. Make a decision to let go of past failures.

I've just broken up with my boyfriend of 4 years. It was so hard, but I had to do it, I couldn't keep lying to him and myself. I reached the point when I thought I love and care about him, but there's no passion here, we never fight, he does everything I ask of him, he says he loves me and I'm sure he did and still does but I could never seem to connect with him. He worked all the time, he was quiet, not much of a socialiser and I was enough for him. I was his world, but he couldn't be mine, I didn't want to be held back anymore, I wanted to spend time with friends, get my career going and live. As a friend said to me he will never cage you, but he will never fly with you. I don't want to be left to just get on with life, its all very well someone not holding me back, but I want someone who will live with me not just exist along side me! And true to form when I broke up with him, he accepted it, didn't ask any questions, didn't yell, shed a slight tear, but that was it! It just really confirmed to me why I was ending it, if he wasn't prepared to fight for me now, when will he ever? And so its over, but it is so hard not seeing him, not speaking to him, and what do I do with the pictures? I've left them for now but at some point I know I will have to take them down and move on. Your so right we do have options, and the choices we make may hurt in the short term, but I hope that in the long run it will be the right choice for all! I hope I will be able to move on one day to a happy and alive, and maybe a little less 'perfect' relationship, instead of dead in a seemingly from the outside perfect one!