Hi again Krs,
I can't help but wonder how this whole situation arose? It would take a woman of pure steel to openly show signs of interest she has in your husband, but what puzzles me is that no woman would dare do anything like this if it was all self-induced?? - this would imply that she suffers from an obsessive personality disorder and/or that she is mentally unbalanced in some way shape or form.
I can't see her having done what she did without there being some element of your husband who had indirectly without meaning to, given the indication that her flirtations are okay. Men even married ones, can and do admire other women in subtle and less obvious ways and sometimes without their wives knowledge. This wouldn't mean to say that he did this knowingly to hurt you or to cause any stress in your relationship, but often we take it for granted that are partners are meant to be faithful to the last core of their being. If only it worked like this!
I have known married men to have flirted with other married women and single women and is a common problem in many marriages and is not a unique thing but isn't something for you to get upset about if it is you he is with and sleeps with ever night. He clearly loves you to be with you. But a wandering eye from time to time happens to lots of us without there being any real meaning to what we do. I am single and so it is okay and I am female, but I know married men and I like one of them very much and he flirts outrageously with me without his wife even knowing he does this. I don't do it back anymore but he is a very attractive man and women will look at him. I guess what I am trying to say if you will have the patience to listen to me, is that all men look at other women married or not.
I am pretty convinced that your husband had inadvertently flirted (not knowingly) with this women who likes him and is attracted to him and felt safe enough to send the message to him because he gave the indication that somehow this was okay? Maybe wanting you to find out if for instance, you are not in a particularly passionate marriage? Some married men do things to get their wives attention and this is one example I have come across before and hence the reason why I have suggested it to you. This doesn't make what the woman did acceptable at all, but she only did what she felt was okay to do given your husband's own body language of approval perhaps? You can't just assume that she did this without a cause at all because in fact, it does sound far too outrageous to think of it like that.
Why risk her own marriage on a crush? Women are not stupid and wouldn't do something like what she did without there being a point or objective to it. Unless she is mentally ill, I can't see how she would do something like this for apparently no real good reason at all. It would take a very stupid woman to do something like text her friend's husband asking him to have dreams about her (It seems a little bizarre to me) . I can't help but see this situation in a much broader light and because there are too many gaps in what I am seeing and hearing. Something preceded this act of sabotage towards your marriage and it didn't start with the text message - there is more to this because there has to be.
If you don't read my post and ignore it like the last one, then it proves my point - you are ignorant to what you want to hear or see and why women like you live in castles in the air thinking that their husbands are their knights and can do no wrong and therefore, the whole world is to blame but not him. Wake up and smell the coffee and get real - your husband isn't a saint and can't protect your insecurities always when he has his own vulnerabilities and faults like everyone else does.
I am not being mean, but realistic and sure hope you can see this for yourself?
