She has said the abortion is currently underway and she has taken a second set of pills and that it is working. She has a check up in two weeks to confirm the preganancy has been terminated.

I am meeting her tomorrow and she said that 'if we choose to leave it there (end it) then that's fine, because her feelings have changed for me' because of all of this and the way I have acted. Putting all the focus on me. That is not who I am but it has been an effective strategy.

All loose ends will be tied up tomorrow.

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Originally Posted by Beetlegeuse

She has said the the abortion is currently underway and she has taken a second set of pills and that it is working. She has a check up in two weeks to confirm the preganancy has been terminated.

I am meeting her tomorrow and she said that 'if we choose to leave it there (end it) then thats fine, cos her feelings have changed for me' because of all of this and the way i have acted. Putting all the focus on me. That is not who i am but it has been an effective strategy.

All loose ends will be tied up tomorrow.

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Let me ask you this...

Why do you even need to see her tomorrow?

Seeing her, I think, is not a good idea. The abortion pills seem to be working, so that's it. Done. She will have a follow up appt. to confirm in two weeks.

Have her let you know in two weeks if it terminated completely and then good bye to her.

Why do you have to see her?

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Beetlegeuse

She has said the the abortion is currently underway and she has taken a second set of pills and that it is working. She has a check up in two weeks to confirm the preganancy has been terminated.

I am meeting her tomorrow and she said that 'if we choose to leave it there (end it) then thats fine, cos her feelings have changed for me' because of all of this and the way i have acted. Putting all the focus on me. That is not who i am but it has been an effective strategy.

All loose ends will be tied up tomorrow.

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So she started the abortion process but was wanting to meet with you last night? If she is in the middle of the abortion process, she would not be in any condition to be meeting up with people.

I'm sorry... why would you even be considering maintaining some sort of relationship with her? "If we choose to leave it there?" She is not even available to be in a relationship with you! Why are you doing this to yourself? A strategy for what? To stop seeing her?

Why are you meeting her? If you want to end the relationship, just tell her you no longer want to see her. Remind her that she has a fiancé and a child to think about and THAT is where her focus should be. You don't need to meet her to tell her that.

It appears, for some reason, that meeting up with her will ease your conscience, so do it if that is what you want. Just be aware that you don't let yourself get drawn into this even more and make sure you definitely end it. Unless there is some reason you feel compelled to hold onto this?

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Originally Posted by DoulaLC

So she started the abortion process but was wanting to meet with you last night?? If she is in the middle of the abortion process, she would not be in any condition to be meeting up with people.

I'm sorry....why would you even be considering maintaining some sort of relationship with her? "If we choose to leave it there?" She is not even available to be in a relationship with you!! Why are you doing this to yourself? A strategy for what? To stop seeing her?

Why are you meeting her? If you want to end the relationship, just tell her you no longer want to see her. Remind her that she has a fiance and a child to think about and THAT is where her focus should be. You don't need to meet her to tell her that.

It appears, for some reason, that meeting up with her will ease your conscience, so go ahead and do it if that is what you want. Just be aware that you don't let yourself get drawn into this even more and make sure you definitely end it. Unless there is some reason you feel compelled to hold onto this?

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You're absolutely correct. My thoughts exactly!

I am starting to think that he doesn't want to end the relationship with her, (well, at least the sexual part of the relationship).

On one hand he expresses how much hate he has towards her, then on the other, he feels the need to have to clear the air.

To the OP, buddy, just leave it alone. You are playing with fire.

Also, I agree with Doula, if she is in the Process of going through the abortion, with pills, then she would not be in any mood to "hang out".

She would be going through a lot of pain (what would feel like a very bad period).

Okay, I've read this entire thread. I'm confused. As a L&D nurse, I'm not sure what "pill" she is talking about. There is the morning after pill, but it's too late for that. Methotrexate (a chemo drug) is sometimes used, but that's usually for ectopic (tubal) pregnancies.

Because she is only 6 weeks, there are pills available here up to 9 weeks of the pregnancy, she was prescribed these apparently on Tuesday and she said the process is grim, she is havign like really bad period pains.

As for the other questions, I do definitely want to end it, that is my intention tomorrow, ill do it amicably and make sure there are no further implications later on down the line, I feel in this situation it is best to meet her due to our mutual work and social life - which I will be changing, as I can't bear the thought of seeign her when I'm out partying. I think it is important to make it very clear once and for all that I will not be pursuing any kind of sexual or romantic or relationship with her. Totally out of the question.

Okay, then, it's the "abortion pill." It's called RU-486 or mifepristone.

At this point I think it best that you limit ALL contact with her. Speak to her at work on only a professional level.

Oh, what a tangled web we weave...

I understand that you're in a fix. I also understand that you seem to feel like a VICTIM. You were not raped. You were not overpowered, and made to perform a sex act that resulted in an unwanted pregnancy. You chose to be involved with, by means of UNPROTECTED sex, with ANOTHER MAN'S fiancé. Let's get that straight up front.

And how would your co-workers have known what you do or don't do? I wonder.

I am not judging you on your actions. I am judging you on your RE-ACTIONS. I have been where you are. I was not cheating on someone with a liar, a cheat, a sl@t. She was someone who I met at a bar, and had a lonely, drunken, unprotected sex filled night with. Long story, but she swindled over two thousand dollars out of me for "appointments, services, and etc". She wanted me to marry her. She made a point of involving MY PARENTS, even though I was in my mid twenties. I had had enough. I contacted an attorney. It turns out that she was never pregnant. I learned my lesson from that and it cost me. But I never once felt sorry for myself. Me, and my penis got me in that situation, and I took it like a MAN.

If she is indeed pregnant with your child, then she is going to need you. Then, and only then, would I have contact with her. You're going through her purse looking for tampons. That's pathetic.

This woman is willing to let another man think that the child he is raising is his. THAT is unforgivable.

We all make mistakes. We learn from them, and they make us stronger for the trouble.

This is not the end of the world for you.

And remember that YOU, and only YOU, got yourself involved in this mess.

I do wish the best for all involved.

Especially Jim. And her existing child.

Ok so I told her that I want nothing anymore, at first she seemed to take it well. She confirmed the pregnancy is over. Now she is sending me horrible text messages, so I'm going to wait this out and hopefully it will blow over soon

Thank you to all for your support and this really has put me on a track to regaining my sanity and will put my life back on track.

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Originally Posted by Beetlegeuse

Ok so i told her that i want nothing anymore, at first she seemed to take it well. She confirmed the pregnancy is over. Now she is sending me horrible text messages, so im going to wait this out and hopefully it will blow over soon

Thank you to all for your support and this really has put me on a track to regaining my sanity and will put my life back on track.

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Good luck... don't get sucked back into her drama. Ignore any further reaction from her... make no response. It would not only continue to cause you much grief, it may even become an issue at your work. Avoid her like the plague.

Find yourself a nice, trustworthy girl, who is actually available, doesn't come with so much baggage, and who treats you well.

Yes defintiely, this year has been the worst of my life. I will make a stand to ignore her, she has said some horrible things via texts, saying she hates me etc... we will have to watch this space to see what happens re: how *****y she will get on me through work etc.

I fully expected her to blow up if you did it over the phone or via text. It you weren't working with her, that wouldn't have mattered. Well, you tried it the manly way, face to face. That is all you can do. Please follow Doula's advice and ignore this woman. Do not interact with her anymore unless you have business to conduct with her. Going forward keep it purely professional. I hope your job will be secure if she chooses to create a scene at the office. If you are capable of easily finding another job in this market and you don't care if you leave the company you are currently at, you might want to start looking around. The last thing you need is to get fired and have to explain to a prospective new employer why you left your old company. Definitely let us know how you are doing.