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-   -   Girlfriend of 5 years says she needs her space (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=490545)

  • Aug 11, 2010, 01:13 PM
    rsa0905
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Homegirl 50 View Post
    It's not likely that she got pregnant what a day after she got of the pill?
    I don't know, but people can sure make a mess of their lives.
    Is she sure she is pregnant?

    She made a mess of her life really fast, if she is pregnant. When I was moving my stuff out of the apartment I noticed a packet of her birth control, and it had been 4 or 5 days since she had last taken it. And that was 3 weeks ago. Im not 100% sure if she is sure she is pregnant.


    If the child turns out to be mine, how would I go about making a relationship work with her?
  • Aug 11, 2010, 01:41 PM
    Kitkat22

    Wait and see! You can't speculate on what she's going to do.
  • Aug 11, 2010, 01:54 PM
    rsa0905
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Kitkat22 View Post
    Wait and see! You can't speculate on what she's going to do.

    You are correct, but with the way she is acting I just feel like she wouldn't give the chance. But then again, it is a 50/50 on who's it could be at this point, if she is for sure pregnant. Apparently she is only about 5 weeks along. And we were still together 5 weeks ago. My parents told me to stay quiet and don't contact her, just to wait for her to contact me if she turns out to be pregnant.
  • Aug 11, 2010, 01:56 PM
    Kitkat22
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by rsa0905 View Post
    You are correct, but with the way she is acting i just feel like she wouldnt give the chance. But then again, it is a 50/50 on whos it could be at this point, if she is for sure pregnant. Apparently she is only about 5 weeks along. And we were still together 5 weeks ago. My parents told me to stay quiet and dont contact her, just to wait for her to contact me if she turns out to be pregnant.

    Very good advice from your parents.. Maybe they should join AMHD.
    Take the advice:)
  • Aug 11, 2010, 03:02 PM
    rsa0905

    Wow. I was seriously leaps and bounds over this, but this has set me back.
  • Aug 11, 2010, 03:19 PM
    Homegirl 50

    I don't think you were over it, but this is an added dimension that you will have to face if true.
    Where did you hear this from?
  • Aug 11, 2010, 03:29 PM
    rsa0905
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Homegirl 50 View Post
    I don't think you were over it, but this is an added dimension that you will have to face if true.
    Where did you here this from?

    I heard it from a friend. Doesn't sound too reliable I know, but I can believe it. Its going to be really hard to try and stay silent about this, because I obvioiusly need to know the truth. And along with this, I really think that she was cheating on me.
  • Aug 11, 2010, 03:32 PM
    Homegirl 50

    What kind of friend would tell you something like that.
    It gets me when people don't keep their nose out of other's business and want to tell you something under the guise of friendship.
    What else makes you think she was cheating?
  • Aug 11, 2010, 03:36 PM
    Kitkat22

    I wouldn't put too much stock in hearsay. You'll know soon enough. Tell your friend to butt out.
  • Aug 11, 2010, 03:36 PM
    talaniman

    Don't even worry about it unless she says its yours, to your face. Then its up to a blood test.

    You don't make a big deal about gossip, rumors, or innuendo.
  • Aug 11, 2010, 03:55 PM
    rsa0905
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Homegirl 50 View Post
    What kind of friend would tell you something like that.
    It gets me when people don't keep their nose out of other's business and want to tell you something under the guise of friendship.
    What eles makes you think she was cheating?

    My friend works with her older sister. So he heard it from her. My friend also said that they think it's the new dudes. I say she was cheating because if its his, and she's 5 weeks along, that coincides with a time we were still together.

    I know I shouldn't worry about it unless I know that its mine. But its still hard to hear that a girl that I loved, moved on, and is already pregnant. I know I've been replaced, but it seems to hurt so much more than that. Another part that hurts is that there's a chance that it could be mine and could be his.
  • Aug 11, 2010, 04:06 PM
    Homegirl 50

    So this is second third party gossip.
    Your friend should have minded his own business and kept his mouth shut.
    At any rate you won't know anything until or unless she says something to you.
    If she is not and all of this was a misunderstanding, this is just one more thing to trip you up.
    Tell your friends to keep their mouths shut.
    That is not a friend. That is just tacky. I wonder how many other friends your friend has told this to.
  • Aug 11, 2010, 05:03 PM
    rsa0905
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Homegirl 50 View Post
    So this is second third party gossip.
    Your friend should have minded his own business and kept his mouth shut.
    At any rate you won't know anything until or unless she says something to you.
    If she is not and all of this was a misunderstanding, this is just one more thing to trip you up.
    Tell your friends to keep their mouths shut.
    That is not a friend. That is just tacky. I wonder how many other friends your friend has told this to.

    Yeah. It is definitely a difficult situation because of all the uncertainty. I know I have to just stick to the NC rules and hope she contacts me with the truth.
  • Aug 11, 2010, 05:10 PM
    Homegirl 50

    There may not be any truth to contact you with. She could not be pregnant at all and if she is, she could be 4 weeks, in which case, (I know it would hurt) her pregnancy would be none of your business.
    You need to have a talk with your friend. Tell him you don't want to hear anything else.
  • Aug 11, 2010, 05:36 PM
    rsa0905
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Homegirl 50 View Post
    There may not be any truth to contact you with. She could not be pregnant at all and if she is, she could be 4 weeks, in which case, (I know it would hurt) her pregnancy would be none of your business.
    You need to have a talk with your friend. Tell him you don't want to hear anything else.

    Well he said that she was around 5 weeks along. And we were together at that point still. So I feel like it is some of my business because I am unsure who's child it really is, if she is even pregnant like you said.
  • Aug 11, 2010, 05:44 PM
    Homegirl 50

    He also said she was pregnant. That could be wrong just like the number of weeks.
    Of course what you could do is just tell her you have heard a rumor and you want to know if it is true. That may open a can of worms but you would know.
    You friend really did you a this service.
  • Aug 11, 2010, 06:09 PM
    rsa0905
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Homegirl 50 View Post
    Her also said she was pregnant. That could be wrong just like the number of weeks.
    Of course what you could do is just tell her you have heard a rumor and you want to know if it is true. That may open a can of worms but you would know.
    You friend really did you a dis service.

    Yeah. I think ill try and tough it out and see if I hear anything else. If I do, then maybe ill try to contact her about it. I may just wait and see if she contacts me, but like you said earlier, that may never happen.
  • Aug 11, 2010, 06:49 PM
    talaniman

    So in the meantime you worry? That's no good!
  • Aug 11, 2010, 07:07 PM
    rsa0905
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by talaniman View Post
    So in the meantime you worry? Thats no good!

    Unfortunately, I am somewhat worried about it. But I shouldn't be because there is no proof of anything 100%. It'll stay in the back of my mind, but ill work my way around it for now.
  • Sep 7, 2010, 09:15 PM
    haggard969
    Hi , I am going through the exact thing that you are , I was with my girlfriend for 5 years , we were a really good couple , we fought hardly ever, even a week before she said , I need space we went to las vegas , stayed in a hotel snuggled and has sex and we watched movies and had a great time. A week later she said that she didn't want to be with me , but she's been thinking about leaving me for a while , I bagged and cried and freaked out asking why why why, all she said was that she needed space, I couldn't believe this ****, I asked her what did I do what did I do and she said nothing, I just need space, she blocked me on Facebook and started going out lots with her friends, we also have a child together I wrote her a 3 page note that I'm getting my mom to read to her because I'm so ****ing desperate, but I have been giving her her space, my mom just talks to her now, I really don't want to lose her, I know she's the one , I just want my family back and I want her back, **** why do girls have to be so ****ing retarded and say I NEED SPACE, LIKE **** WE WERE IN A FAMILY FOR 5 YEARS AND SHE LED ME ON JUST TO ****ING SAY I NEED SPACE, LIKE ****! I KNOW IM FREAKIN OUT ON HERE< BUT I WAS NEVER LIKE THIS AROUND HER, IM JUST SO LOST CONFUESED ANGRY AND SAD THAT SHE WOULD DO THIS, LIKE WHY WOULD U WANT TO PUT SOME ONE U LOVE THROUGH SO MUCH PAIN?

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