Klap, I just read this entire thread. Wow.
You are thinking too far ahead. Instead of thinking about days or weeks or the summer, think about today. Make it through today doing what you know you need to do to make the changes in yourself that will make you a better and stronger partner.
When you think about contacting her or find yourself repeating, 'She said she wants it to work,' (or anything else that starts your brain running around in circles) take five slow, deep breaths. Make each one last for a count of six (breath in while counting: one one thousand, two one thousand, three one thousand. Breath out while while counting four one thousand, five one thousand, and six one thousand.) Clear and calm your mind. Close your eyes if possible and if it helps.
If you aren't open to more counseling as such, how do you feel about support groups where you can talk to people who have been through what you have?
I just want to caution you that things will never be the way they were. You are both growing and changing so your relationship will too. (We don't stop changing as we go through life. Each experience affects us in some way.) Don't let it scare you into trying to hold on to the past. If/when she is ready, work together to shape the relationship to accept the changes you are both going through.
