Hey, glad you're keeping yourself busy and trying to do things with friends and talk to other girl friends about it. I am the same (going to play table tennis tonight!) and have been revising all day. I keep thinking about him ALL the time too - I saw that he'd replied to a friend's comment on Facebook saying he was fine, getting on really well and exams were good (the friend doesn't know we've broken up) but it made me feel quite happy in a way as I'm glad he's not sitting there being miserable all day.. and it means he's taken his exams too which of course is really great. Cos at the end of the day I just want him to get on with things for now (before our big talk in 3 weeks) and keep busy.

Is there any way you can just tell your parents the truth? The absolute truth? Telling them might make you feel relieved and like a weight has been lifted, then there won't be that barrier there anymore either. That could help you to move on. Totally understand if you don't want to though!

That definitely sounds like a panic attack. I actually have experience of numerous anxiety disorders and have had panic attacks all my life, they are a real pain! Good thing is though that they DO pass - it will not last forever. If you find it's getting really bad and you can't sleep then CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) can be really effective, and the relaxant drug Diazepam, but these are only last-resort type things to help you if it goes on and on in the long run. When it happens to me I get scared that I'm losing control and that I won't be able to cope with everything.. this is quite normal after a break-up I think, and like I said, after a period they do pass. Deep breaths and knowing what's happening to you and that it's normal may help to calm you down! : )

When we are alone with our thoughts its easy to be anxious, and apprehensive about things.

That usually when we over think, and over react, and a strategy for good sleep is needed.

Google, strategy for good sleep.

Its just all these thoughts come to my mind when I do try to sleep and I can't because they are the worst possible thoughts. Then I have no choice to wake up.

Prowaker, take a deep breath. Your digging way too deep into this relationship. It stinks to break up but you will survive. She isn't the only female on the face of this earth. We all have been thorugh this one time or so in our lifetime. If she found someone else so fast, would you really want her back. That would tell me something. When you worry about this 24/7 its just not healthy. It's not going to change things for now, worrying what she is doing or where she is at. Your like making things worse for yourself. WHen you move on, that's when things change. Honestly, reverse the roles, if you broke up with her, and she was trying to contact you and calling you and begging you, wouldn't you go the other way. People talk, I am sure she knows plenty you are hurting. She won't want someone like that. Get strong, Prowaker and move on, and then see what happens. If she moves on with someone else you have your answer.

Thanks for the encouragement

I know what you're going through here, and Ill try and cut down my response significantly and keep it brief. My girlfriend and I broke up on Wednesday, rather she broke up with me. It was devastating, for a day. You might think, just a day? Yeah, just a day. I learned a lot about myself from a previous relationship that ended awhile ago. I posted on here, absolutely devastated. I was a wreck, for a good two months. I worried about the same things you do, is she going to find somebody else, what's she doing, checking her Facebook, etc.

I know, it's hard man. My breakup only a few days ago, sucks. I was, wait... still in love with her. Honestly, it came as sort of a surprise. I knew something was wrong for a few days, she wouldn't confine to me... even though I asked her what was wrong. I just knew, it was coming. I prepared myself, although not all that well... I was just hoping it would be something simple. It wasn't. She told me she thought I wasn't right for her, that she still loved me... but couldn't be with me. She just wanted to be friends. Well, she asked me to breakfast a day later, to talk. Didn't go to well, she asked to be friends... I said No. It doesn't work man, it just doesn't.

I know your worried about other guys, but she has no commitment to you now... whatever she does on her own terms, is her responsibility. I know it's hard to hear that... I worried about the same thing with one of my ex's. I checked up on her, checking her Facebook, texting her. We all have done it, but you learn from it. Please, learn from my own heartbreak.

As much as you want to talk to her, your better off healing without talking to her. Its hard, I know... but muster everything you can to keep yourself busy. My breakup only a few days ago is not as hard, cause I learned... the hard way, but I learned what I need to do to heal. Don't get me wrong, I've had urges, even tonight... to text her and talk, or try. You just need to fight that urge, same with Facebook and all that other stuff. You set yourself back every time.

I wish you all the best, but learn from my own experiences that I can share here, and learn.

Sometimes really horrible things happen without any warning. I'm sorry, I know how hard this is but you need to keep yourself busy for now and let time pass. I know... it sounds awful and it is but it won't always be like that. Promise. One day at a time.

I know but I was not prepared at all for this. I try to keep myself busy and not look at her Facebook text or call. I know she's not mine anymore and she has no commitment to me, but you know, I still love her. I'm learning I am. I realize if I even wonder what she's doing and think the worst that's bad! I always come to the worst possibility that she might be fooling around with someone else tonight or something. But who cares. She can get around if she wants and ruin her rep/ her own self respect.

I talked to a lot of people who went through this kind of thing. They said that they did worry like I am and its normal. But its only going to bring more pain. I get it now. Like tonight I worried but I kept busy and got her off my mind until now, that's why I'm on here. To read all this encouragement. If she wanted me she would have messaged me or something. I realized I have always been there for her and came back like a little puppy. I'm not going to do that this time. If she wants me back she can come crawling, even then I don't know if I would take her back, she would just put me through this pain again.

Just keep a positive outlook man. I am going through the same emotions you are right now, it's only been a few days for me as well. I know how your feelings. I sometimes wonder what she's doing, but it's no good for either of us. They are human beings, and will go out and do things... just like you will.

Just remember, if things are meant to be... they are meant to be and will work themselves out, everything does happen for a reason. I do believe that. I wasn't prepared, well... you can't really prepare yourself to lose somebody you love. Its hard, it really is. I have had my thoughts about her today, while I was driving in the quiet around town... or laying in bed. Its going to happen, it's what you do about it that matters. There is nothing wrong with remembering the good times, and to realize there is people to love in this world, and how people can make you smile. Its another thing to react, and call them, text them, drive by their place.

Everyone goes through this, it's a part of life. You can worry all you want, but it won't get you anywhere man. If you need to vent, come here... people will read, and listen. Trust me, as someone who has dealt with heartbreak quite a bit in the past year. Just, forgive them. I don't resent my ex, I don't hate her... but realize you need to give them their space too. If she REALLY does LOVE YOU... she will come back, and things will work themselves out. But, I repeat... DONT, Don't wait for her.

I wish you all the best man, just remember when you get down about this... even though you don't know me, will never meet me, know I am going through the same feelings you are... and you're not alone.

I come on here and vent, but I feel that I vent too much and people are just getting tired about this.

I know it's a part of life but I don't like it one bit. I'm not waiting for her trust me I'm trying to live my life. I started to get upset earlier tonight and I was like why? There's no point. I can get through this and I know she's probably doing this to me because she knows ill get upset.

Yah I wish I could meet some of the people on here and talk in person. Everyone seems like they know what they are doing. And that's what I realize I'm not alone. Most of the people o know have gone through something similar.

Who cares, if people didn't want to read what you wrote. They won't. You can vent here as much as you want. Its what this place is for.

Post here, and not call her. Or a private journal, and then burn it or delete it.

(Please do NOT try to burn your PC, if that's where you have your personal journal) :eek:

Unfortunately, I wanted to talk to her to see what was going through her head. So I started a conversation with her. I wanted to know if it was really her or her parents that don't want us together. She said it was her. Even though we tried fixing this about a month prior to this, she didn't let the time it needed to get healed. I'm guessing she used her parents as an excuse to actually end it with me. That's just a brief update.

So are you ready to leave this alone again?
You can't keep trying until you get the answers you want. That is not going to happen.
Leave her alone. NC!

No I'm not ready to leave this alone I cant. I'm sorry I'm weak.

Well I suppose when you get sick and tired of being sick and tired, or she says or does something to really hurt your feelings then you'll get a clue.

I have replied to your message prowaker. Read what I said carefully, remember that you are not weak and you have done really well by dealing with all these difficult emotions so far, and when the time is right for you, you will make your own decision about your own happiness and find the strength to come through it. I am also really glad that you managed to have a decent sleep last night; it shows you are improving and getting better. Good luck

Yeah, My ex used and number of things on me, like she didn't like my parents and she didn't want to be a part of my family, i.e being married to me, than several other reasons too. Girls do that I guess!
And its normal to want answers, I tried to get answers off her the other day, big mistake and still never got a clear cut reason as to why we broke up!
Just NC is the way forward. You will get a lot more respect for yourself if you become stronger now. After I phoned her I delete her number from eerywhere and off Facebook or wherever. It's hard at first, but you get past it and just get on with your life.

So my mom just told me that she emailed her mom about stuff. Oh mann this is isn't going to go over well..

Threads merged


So this is kind of an update to my last question where my girlfriend broke up with me when it was almost 4 years.
I have gone no contact with her for a while. There was a few times where I did call/text but never got an answer. Its been almost a month since the break up. Last night I was out with some friends and not in the right state of mind I texted her. I didn't know I did until the morning and I don't know what I said. We started talking asking how we were doing and if we will ever be friends. Then out of the blue she tells me about this guy she has been hanging around with. *before I get into more detail I want to say that this guy, while we were dating at least a year ago, interfered with our relationship. He would always be calling her and texting her. So I got fed up and mad and put an end to that and she never talked to him since.* now, back to the original story. So she tells me she has been hanging out with this guy and they went on dates you could say. I didn't ask details. But I did ask like if she liked him or anything and she said she doesn't know and she told me she clearly told him that she doesn't want a boyfriend right now. I believe her only because we have dated a long time and I have no reason not to trust her. I don't have a problem with her seeing other guys, it's the fact that it has only been almost a month since the break up and she's seeing this guy.

So my question is, was I being cheated on while our relationship was coming to an end or is she just rebounding / trying to make me jealous.