Ask Me Help Desk - Lost and confused

Good for you Chris , I wish everyone took the advise on here as well as you have. Your doing great :)

Yeah I know , pipedream :rolleyes:

Chris, I think you are a lot stronger than you realized when you first came here. You may have needed someone to show you that inner strength was there, but without it all the advice in the world wouldn't help.

Keep giving yourself what you need to stay strong and remember that this thread is here if/when you need some extra support.

Good luck.

Oh God guys, please help me feel better. I am horrified.

So as you know, My ex has texted me a few times since the split, and also as you know I have worked my buns off to ignore him. Never made contact with him. The last time he text me, I decided to store him under my phone under the contact "Don't Answer!!!!!" thinking it would help with the temptation. Big mistake.

Today my phone wigged out. It fell out of my purse and my friend was in the passenger seat. My phone was on the floor and I think she may have stepped on it, or put something on it. My phone sent out blank messages to 6 different recipients, one being my ex! I am so mad. I worked so hard and now I feel it is all ruined because even though the message was blank, I made contact with my ex, even though unintentional. He did not respond.

I should have just left him out of my phone, now I feel so upset, and thinking he might think I did wrote him on purpose.

How bad is this? Is all my hard work out the window? What do I do? I am sooooo upset. I worked so hard, now he probably thinks I am making contact with him. I feel so stupid.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chris0107

How bad is this?? Is all my hard work out the window? What do I do? I am sooooo upset. I worked so hard, now he probably thinks I am making contact with him. I feel so stupid.

If anything, he got a blank message. If he responds, don't reply. Can you delete him out of your address book? Will you? We will never mention his name again, ever. Blood oath.

Don't get excited, it was an accident, one that showed you that you have to delete him from your contacts list is all.

Just keep on your path, and relax. Isn't it amazing how the most remote things teach us something we need to know?

Accidents happen. Don't beat yourself up about it.

Delete his contact information so that it can't happen again and go on about your life.

As Wondergirl said, if he replies, don't respond. Let it go down as a phantom text. Actually, it is one since you didn't send it. :)

Thanks guys, I just really feel like sh*t now. Just a slap in my face, working so hard and then something stupid like this happens. I can't believe it. Anyway thanks again.

Think of it as a blessing in disguise , because if you'd sent it on purpose trying to get a bite out of him and he didn't respond you'd feel like cr*p.

This way you didn't mean it and if you don't get a response your not actually hanging on for one.

Don't beat yourself up over something that wasn't intended , as they say , sh*t happens ;)

Let it go.

Just to be an evil person, think of it like this...

Say if the blank text went through.. he's probably wondering whether you sent it on purpose or on accident.. hell, he might be beating himself up over it so let it go and know that it should bother him more than you because you didn't send it on purpose.; )

Find some humor in the situation and go give yourself a bubble bath. =)

Thanks Strength, I will try that.

How have you been? Ive missed you on my thread!

You're welcome, darling!

I've been well and busy. I've been trying to pull myself out of my own hole so you know how tiring that can get. =)

Continue to keep your head up, you're doing a wonderful job.

Walk Away

So easy for you to walk away,
All that time and not a word to say,
It takes a man to look someone in the eye,
And a coward to run without a goodbye.

One day we might meet again,
Who knows if you would have anything to say then,
But it doesn't matter anymore,
When you left that way-you forever shut that door.

Thank you so much for you made me see,
How someone better out there should treat me,
All is gone and our love has died,
The good news is at least you still have your pride.

One day you may be hurt as you've done to me,
But for you I hope not and not even on my worst enemy,
Go out there and spread your wings and fly,
I hope you will remember how you forgot to say goodbye.

You go girl!!

Ummmm. I don't know where to begin. No contact has been severely broken. You won't believe this.

Last night I went out with a girl friend of mine and 3 guys. One guy was a friend a have known since high school the other 2 I didn't know and just met and they were with my friend. We went to a country bar across town.

I went on the dance floor and was having fun. Afterward I ran to the bathroom. On my way back a man grabs my hand and pulls me. I look, and it is him. It is my ex. I was shocked.

Everything I have read says if you bump into and ex keep in short and polite. Maybe this is ideal in a normal setting, What it doesn't say is what you are supposed to do when your ex grabs you and pulls you to the dance floor and starts twirling you around. What was I to do? We start dancing. This is someone I haven't seen or spoken to in a month who broke my heart, now all of the sudden we are dancing together.

Afterward, we go get a drink at the bar. I see his friend who I also know through him and I say hello. Still in shock, I end up hanging out with him. He is all over me, we even kiss on the dance floor.

I end up hanging out with him the rest of the night, we dance a few more times. When not dancing, he is hanging all over me like we are a couple.

At the end of the night, my friend takes me back to her place and he is with me. He is all over me and I am to him. We had both been drinking. After a while, we leave and go to his friends house up the street. I stay with him there. We go to bed and start kissing and he starts telling me he loves me and misses me. Even while kissing me he asks why I have been ignoring him and his calls. He keeps telling me I am his baby and asking me if I am his baby. Needless to say we had sex. I fell asleep for about 30 minutes after that By this time it is 5:30 in the morning. In shock, I grab my purse and sneak out and drive home.

I go to sleep, and about 10 or so in the morning I hear someone banging on my bedroom window. I was so confused, I went to the front door and I see his car outside. Then he starts calling my house phone and cell phone over and over. I also saw I had a text about an hour before that said where did you go. Still confused about last night I just ignored all of the knocking and calls. After about 30 minutes he finally gives up and leaves. He left a message sounding frustrated but not rude, telling me to call him when I woke up.

At about 3 o'clock I sent a message that just said hi. He wrote back and said what happened. I played dumb and wrote "what do you mean". He says"where did you go, I banged on your door this morning". Then he writes "Guess you were with your man :(" I lied and said I wasn't there, and that my friend had picked me up and I didn't have my phone. Then he asks what I am doing and I tell him I am going to my aunts for a bbq. He says OK call me later. That's it, I didn't say anything after that, and I have not heard from him since. This was about 6 hours ago.

That's about it. I know this is shocking but I had to come here and confess! I don't even know what to think right now. I need emergency advice asap on what to do. Obviously I clearly messed up, and this is the biggest no no possible. We never talked about the break up or anything. I know I screwed up but it was such a shocking situation and I had no clue what to do. I am sorry guys, I am sure you are very disappointed in me. Please tell me what to do.

The only thing you can do is start all over from scratch.

But I am confused, what if he continues to contact me now? Don't you think it will seem unusual after sleeping with him to start ignoring him? All those sweet things he said to me why? Was it the alcohol?
And then why in the hell would he come to my house the next morning?!

He used your confusion for his advantage and a Booty call , and he may just use you a bit more if you allow it.

If your going to allow him back in , I would have thought he may have needed to do a whole lot of explaining and begging before he even got a look out of you , particularly after all the hurt he's put you through.

Like tal says , looks like you may need to go back to square one , sorry that's one of the lessons.

Remember we're here when you need us.

Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhh what have I done

Chris

Can I suggest you go back and read this thread from the beginning , it'll give you an idea of how you were progressing and also open your eyes to all the hurt he's put you through already.

I find it funny, no strange that you made no attempt to do anything to remove yourself, yet you blame shock, and alcohol on you letting him have his way. So I guess that makes up for all the heartbreak.

Then you let him go to your friends house, and no protest from you. Then he screws you literally, and then you text him to say HI!! But of all the things you wrote this was the craziest, if that possible.

Quote:

Everything I have read says if you bump into and ex keep in short and polite. Maybe this is ideal in a normal setting, What it doesn't say is what you are supposed to do when your ex grabs you and pulls you to the dance floor and starts twirling you around. What was I to do?

How about walking away and leaving him by himself!

Quote:

But I am confused, what if he continues to contact me now?

You knew what to do and how to do it, but you didn't do it. So forget it and start all over. Or let him keep twirling you in circles, and screwing you over.

No more confusion. Just do what your supposed to do, and stop questioning, and be about some actual DOING something for a change.