Ask Me Help Desk - Is it OK what she did

Quote:

Originally Posted by mistyjane

I know you don't want to see her but if you just say" i have 5 and just 5 minutes for you.Meet me here and then" it will be the end.
Just saying if you do this she will have to leave you alone!
She's trying to see you by any mean possible(i think this money thing is just an excuse) so come and prove her she doesn't mean anything to you.
I understand that you don't want to see her but i think now because of trying to avoid it too much she's starting to think she's still important to you.And also you're having much more contacts than if you just go , take your money, go back home.
I don't think she will let it go cause now she thinks you're afraid cause you still love her, that's why she says "be a man".
Off course it would be better not to see her but at least those 5 minutes will end the drama.

Well, last time I met up with her after a break, we got back together. The way I see it is, either way, I'll lose. I won't be a man in her eyes if I meet up with her or not. Like I said you can never win fighting with a woman. You'll win but it will end up badly. So I think I'll meet up with her when I think I can. This way it's less confontational. She got a very short fuse. I see the way her and her ex go at it when they got a fight over the kid to the point she got a nervous breakdown. The money is not a rush anyway so I'll get it when I feel like I can.

The point is why even fight.

She has screwed you over left & right.

This healing process & NC proves that you and your peace of mind is more important than money or things.

She's shown you her true colors.

There's nothing else to see except you become more aware in the future.

It's OK to let her win a Battle now and then , the important thing is winning the War ;)

The war is over.

Don't be a casualty.

It's a roller coaster ride. Sometime I have moment of weakness. I have second thought about my decision to break it off. Sometime I have the urge to break NC. Sometime you think about the good memories and forget all the reasons you broke up in the first place. I got to go back and reread what I wrote, it helped me to stay NC.

You're right, the war is over. I don't have to prove that I am a man. I've already proven that when I ended the relationship that she cannot disrespect me anymore.

That's all you need. You got it. You are on your way. Nice one.

Its been almost a year for me. Still that girl pops up. But good times aren't what crosses my mind, therefore I exit stage right.

What really helped me was to simply let things "be". Helped a lot with trying to overthink sh##t.

Takes time. You're good. Just keep it up & realize that no one runs your life but you.

How's T.O.

T.O is great, nice thing about TO is you can enjoy many different foods. It's a multicultural city. The food is great here, so many different restaurants, jap, chinese, viet, indian, thai, italian whatever you feel like.

Quote:

Originally Posted by hungtoronto

T.O is great, nice thing about TO is you can enjoy many different foods. It's a multicultural city. The food is great here, so many different restaurants, jap, chinese, viet, indian, thai, italian whatever you feel like.

Probably a lot of nice singles girls too ;)

Like my ex, hehehe.

Hell no. If she is so blind that she can't see that going back to that same massage guy would hurt you, then she is NOT serious about the relationship. She should know it would hurt you and she would avoid this guy because your happiness should be what matters most to her.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mr.Brown707

Hell no. If she is so blind that she can't see that going back to that same massage guy would hurt you, then she is NOT serious about the relationship. She should know it would hurt you and she would avoid this guy because your happiness should be what matters most to her.

That wasn't the reason why we broke up. That was the only time she went to him for massage. But the guy keep calling and talking to her after that. The yseem very close so I gave her an ultimatum, either stop talking to him or I'll end the relationship. I never see the guy call after but who knows, he could call her when I was not around. A few months after that she asked me if I want to go to the grand opening of his new clinic. I was thinking in my head . I thought you stopped talking to him.

I know in relationship there are boundaries but no body's perfect. Sometime you got to decide how important those boundaries are if they were crossed. If it's something like cheating then that's different. But as I got deeper into the relationship, it seem like I am doing a lot but I got little in return. It seems that I am digging a bigger hole. So one time we got an argument over something really stupid so I ended it. One straw too many that broke the camel's back.