Quote:
Originally Posted by vanheart
A few people that I explained my situation to stated that sending erotic text messages like that is just flirting, and there's nothing wrong with it. Do you all agree?
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Quote:
Originally Posted by vanheart
A few people that I explained my situation to stated that sending erotic text messages like that is just flirting, and there's nothing wrong with it. Do you all agree?
Who are you sending them to?
Your ex or the girl you slept with? Your friends are wrong.
Regardless, you need to get straight. What is it exactly are you doing?
Forget about this girl & be single. Sounds like you aren't ready for a relationship beyond this one yet. Maybe you both were (are) drinking too much.
Don't repeat the same thing, spend another 6.5 years.
Quote:
Originally Posted by vanheart
What in the world is wrong with this guy! Where's the tylenol? I'm not talking about you Vanheart. You have given this guy great advice!
One giant hangover.
Why did you stay with her for 6 years is the question.
Im starting to know she isn't they only culprit here. From your actions.
Start getting your act together, seek some therapy.
This girl isn't good for you and vis-versa.
Get to the point where you don't need to question your own actions.
Quote:
Originally Posted by vanheart
No, No, No... Im not talking about the girl I slept with this weekend..
Im talking about the guy my ex was receiving messages and sending messages to,which is the reason I broke up with her... Quite a few people say that's nothing but flirting and that its nothing wrong with that. I'm just getting your input...
Quote:
Originally Posted by confused580
You sound like someone who has a one track mind. Sex with anyone who is willing and erotic phone messages. Gosh no wonder you don't have a real relationship. Have you even thought about STDs? I doubt it. I think you are self-absorbed and you want what you want, no matter what. Do you also get off on porn?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kitkat22
You are NOT understanding what I'm asking... I broke up with my EX because she was receiving and sending erotic messages on her cell phone and I went through the phone while she was sleep and found them... People are saying that was just flirting what SHE did
What I did this weekend was slept with this girl(that I've known for a long time), because I KNEW that I was NOT going to go BACK to my EX after what I found in her phone... THATS WHAT I was saying
Where are you getting this std stuff from, and me being self absorbed?? I WAS THE one was WRONGED!
Yeah,
Why are you even letting those things enter your mind.
Stop hanging on to this. If you really want to be a man, then realize this is over and start taking some steps.
It sounds like you haven't done jack.
You haven't answered any of our questions like why did you stick with this girl?
May shed some light on why you are still hanging on. More so about what kind of person you are & the people you attract & get with.
That's the key. Do some digging on that if you have the will to.
Haven't seen much will yet.
In basic terms, people are saying that I should NOT have left my girlfriend, because what she did was only text message those erotic things, and that some people flirt like that and its harmless ,especially if they don't get enough attention from you...
THAT WAS my question! I was ASKING your input
Because family members of mine are saying that was just flirting that she didQuote:
Originally Posted by vanheart
Dude, cmon.
Doesn't sound like you are telling your friends, or us the whole story. This didn't just happen, its been going on.
She did this naughty texting twice (that we know of), then stripped & started sucking on your cousin's face?
Sounds like one of many episodes that will only continue.
This isn't harmless? Is it causing you harm? You're posting here, right?
You did the right thing by breaking up, now move on.
Let you both get it together. Go NC.
BTW, why did you stick with this girl?
Lol year you are right... My cousin is a girl as well, so that stripping part didn't bother me... but yeah the first time, she was touching herself while talking on the phone with some guy while drunk, and the second time was the text message with some other guy..Quote:
Originally Posted by vanheart
Ok thanks for the advice, I already knew it. You know I'm at the phase when you start second guessing things... The "what if this", or "what if that"... I guess that's part of a normal break-up. Go easy on me Lol. The guilt of the dumper who thinks maybe it was them... That comes from using your heart, and not your HEAD!
I haven't been in contact since the dumping last Wednesday, and so yes I am continuing NC.
Quote:
Originally Posted by vanheart
After the first time she did this with someone on the phone, she was crying hysterically the next day when I told her what she did. She had a black out while drinking and did not remember. Alcoholics do go through that so I could understand that part
Why did I stick with her? Everyone makes mistakes... I forgave the first time... Alcoholism is a sickness, and I understood that she more than likely didn't know she did that, because she got that persons number off one of those classified ads while she was drunk
So basically I forgave her the first time. I'm only human... The second time is when it was "stirke, you're out!"
So, why did you stay for 6.5 years?
Quote:
Originally Posted by vanheart
Because the first incident was back in October 2009, this last incident happened last Saturday. Before the first incident, everything was fine
Stop sleeping around! Get your head straight ! If you are doing it to get back at her then it's not working. You got to let her go, completely!Quote:
Originally Posted by confused580
If everything was fine, then this wouldn't happen.
Stay NC. Let her figure things out, especially if she doesn't want to talk about why.
During that do a bit of work on yourself & why you let this happen & why you let family members say what she did was OK.
If you do that, then maybe you won't allow this to happen ever again.
Quote:
Originally Posted by vanheart
Why I let this happen? You cannot control what another person does. That's like saying, if someone cheats on u, why did you let it happen... You can't control.. People cheat for all kind of reasons, and mostly they are selfish reasons. How was I suppose to know it would get to this. So what do you mean why did I let this happen.. Maybe I'm not understanding you, if that is what you meant by that statement...
U say if everything was fine this wouldn't happen? Do u mean the first incident that I forgave her for?. Do u know there are A LOT of folks that cheat out the blue, when Everything is going fine previously with their current partner... Not all cheaters have an excuse. Maybe some were abused as kids, who knows... Not everyone has a motive or reason to cheat
Yes I am still NC, and will REMAIN that way... Maybe I didn't give her enough attention... OH WELL... its over and done with. I will let you know in a month my progress...
What I will say to you is for the last 6.5 years, we've had that make-up break-up type of relationship where we've never been broken up for more than 2 or 3 weeks and yes I know that is TOXIC, which is WHY I'm standing my ground. She has no way to get in contact with my due to phone blocking... facebook was blocked decades ago, even when we were together
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kitkat22
I didn't do it to get back at my g/f... I was just in the mood and it happened... I don't feel regret over that
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