You're broken up. The relationship is over. Whatever you had is over for the moment. Done. That's all folks… Do you get it? You don't seem to grasp the concept. Listen 85Man you really need to get out of fantasy land. Time to start acting like a man and demonstrating a little self-respect and dignity.

You're full of these “what if” scenarios, cyber-stalking her, and invading her privacy. Dude… that is just creepy and wrong. Christ… she tells someone about a fantasy of hers and you 'conceptualize' that she's brainwashed by the media and that's why she dumped you. All I can say is, “Wow”. You might consider counseling to help you get through this.

I realize you hurt, that's normal. But your actions are not normal and borderline illegal. I realize you're going to do what you're going to do or what you feel is “OK” but… you should really start to think about your actions. You should really reconsider just letting her go rather than hanging around humping her leg like a love sick puppy. Tell her your sorry it didn't work out, you wish her the best, and then tell her good bye. After that you disappear. Don't worry about if she calls, texts, or whatever – DELETE THE NOTION. Let's face it… you can't handle it and won't be able to for a while. Take 4-6 months and get your poop in a group. Find yourself, work on yourself, do something for yourself.

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Originally Posted by Imabadman

You're broken up. The relationship is over. Whatever you had is over for the moment. Done. That's all folks… Do you get it? You don't seem to grasp the concept. Listen 85Man you really need to get out of fantasy land. Time to start acting like a man and demonstrating a little self-respect and dignity.

You're full of these “what if” scenarios, cyber-stalking her, and invading her privacy. Dude… that is just creepy and wrong. Christ… she tells someone about a fantasy of hers and you 'conceptualize' that she's brainwashed by the media and that's why she dumped you. All I can say is, “Wow”. You might consider counseling to help you get through this.

I realize you hurt, that's normal. But your actions are not normal and borderline illegal. I realize you're going to do what you're going to do or what you feel is “OK” but… you should really start to think about your actions. You should really reconsider just letting her go rather than hanging around humping her leg like a love sick puppy. Tell her your sorry it didn't work out, you wish her the best, and then tell her good bye. After that you disappear. Don't worry about if she calls, texts, or whatever – DELETE THE NOTION. Let's face it… you can't handle it and won't for a while. Take 4-6 months and get your poop in a group. Find yourself, work on yourself, do something for yourself.

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I understand you but she did the same to me as well long ago and I caught her doing it but I didn't tell her because I knew what she was going through. I am not saying just cause she did it to me I am going to do the same. I know its wrong and I am not doing it anymore cause like you said it's a break up, but sometimes people get curious and want to find out the truth, it's like you want proof why this is happening and I believe its normal to feel that way. I agree with you but sometimes people can't help it. BTW she did tell me about her fantasy when we met in person during the break up two weeks ago. I am just analyzing this that's all. I feel good because I've learned to love myself first and not take my girl as the priority. It's just not easy to get out of this situation because I've been with her for 5 years and those years were beautiful. I believe this relationship can still have a chance. But I am ready for either answer whether she will come back officially or let go.

Ok first of all, you need to stop reading her Facebook messages and email accounts, etc... I'm not going to tell you it's illegal because that's just silly, but it is not a good thing. First of all, because it's invasion of privacy, and secondly because it's not going to do you any good. What if you find out that nothing is going on? You'll continue to hope there's a chance, and over analyze every little thing she tells you. What if you find out she started banging some random guy the second you two broke up? That's going to hurt like hell and throw you in a tailspin. No good can come of this either way you look at it, so I highly suggest you stop doing it... for your own sake.

Secondly, there is a huge red flag right here in the fact that the second you guys were broken up she started messaging not one, not two, but THREE guys asking them to go out on dates because she is SINGLE. Boy she didn't even wait until your metaphorical relationship body turned cold before she started trolling for booty. When you truly love(d) somebody, there's no way you would do something like that.

I have this gut feeling that she is totally stringing you along. All of your ideas are great if you two were still actually an item. The thing about breakups though is that the second you're not together all of the nice things you start doing for them automatically become A.) Make you look incredibly desperate or B.) Make them think you're trying to manipulate them to getting back together with them. It's totally F***ed up, but it's the truth.

I highly recommend going NC and make yourself unavailable. It's a break up, you have no time to contact her and you're doing great. Let her go off and find Mr. French and live her non-nonsensical romantic fantasy. You've got bigger fish to fry.

Yup, she's not your end all.

You'll realize that soon. If you try.

Last night my girl called... we spoke and the first thing she said was:

"I LOVE YOU, YOU ARE THE ONE, We should take it slow but I still have to get this out of my system, I still want to date other guys, how do you feel about this"

I told her it's OK and it's your choice I cannot change you so just be yourself and we stay single instead (I couldn't do anything about it did not want to beg) so I told her I understand your situation and you should have your time. I also shared my feelings about this, I told her I do not want to be strung and suffer this pain so we might as well stay single for a while, I will just focus on myself and you do your thing and enjoy.

She was like "I am sorry for doing this to you, I love you but it's just that I am scared of moving on with you, I do want too because you are the one. Everytime we talk it just feels different it's there and I can feel your love. And I know you are the one."

In my mind it was hard to think of what she told me because if I am the one why is she out dating other guys? Just doesn't make any sense...

She also mentioned about a conversation she had with her sister in December they spoke about her sister's friend who was getting engaged but got scared at the last minute because she felt bad that she only had sex with one man and that she wanted to find out what it's like with others. My girl said this to me about that situation "I find that beautiful that she was able to have one man to make love too, It does not bother me to just see only one penis and I wouldn't do anything like that baby, I will not sleep with other guys while I am dating. I know this is weird but I just want you but I want to date other guys and be single for a while I know this will not be for a long time. So baby will you ever have me back. I want you, will we come back together and start our new life..."

She started crying for a bit and felt bad that she was doing this to me I did not show any emotions and felt numb, still do I guess my heart is well guarded. I still love her and want her back so bad but I cannot do anything about the way she feels. So I thought about it and she might as well be single hang loose and I believe this break up will make us stronger when we comeback together. So I just let it go and hopefully she will come back to me..

I hope she makes up her mind soon and gets a couple of dates and feels the guilt and pain and regret for what she is doing. Let me know what you think about this conversation I had with her... I made it hard for her now she even told me it's so hard and I don't want to loose you, I told her at last I still have a special place in my heart for you and I don't know what the outcomes are in the future between us, you have to make your decisions if you love me then show me that you do, I trust you and enjoy your time being single.

'If I'm the one why date other guys? It just doesn't make sense.'
It doesnt-but she's doing it.
So,the sense it makes is: you're not the one.

You are Mr Fallback Guy in case dating others(and of course not having sex with them!)doesnt appeal for some reason.

Please wake up and stop being so nice about it.

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Originally Posted by amicon

'If I'm the one why date other guys? It just doesnt make sense.'
It doesnt-but she's doing it.
So,the sense it makes is: you're not the one.

You are Mr Fallback Guy in case dating others(and of course not having sex with them!)doesnt appeal for some reason.

Please wake up and stop being so nice about it.

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I'm done with now, I accept the break up, it's official. I just have a hard time understanding why she says I am the one. So if she says that to me it actually means the opposite that I am not the one. I don't I just find it very confusing at the moment. 5 years and she would say something like that. Does she really mean it? Or she just doesn't realize what she is doing to me I'm just curious to know... I'm sorry but it's hard for me to understand, all I can say is if she comes back it's meant to be, who knows how I will feel later on when she does come back though. All I can do is focus on myself and achieve my goals.

Focus on you and your life and moving forward.
It doesn't really matter what people say when their actions speak a different language.

I'm sorry you're hurting,but it will pass-with time and patience.

Keep busy and be around people who care for you.

NEVER ever respond when she calls/texts

NO MATTER WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES. YOU ARE NOT THERE FOR HER ANYMORE. SHE LEFT YOU. LEAVE HER.

Do NOT tell her you will wait for her.

Do NOT tell her you love her.

The LESS you care the MORE she cares.

But that is NOT the point.

The point is to get yourself to a stage where you really just DON'T CARE

And the more you put yourself into situations where you look like a GROVELING DOG the more she wants to KICK YOU.

Make yourself TOTALLY UNAVAILABLE.

GIVE UP on all hope that she will get back with you.

YOUR HIGH EXPECTATIONS are a WASTE of time.

She's full of crap is why she's saying this, there's nothing confusing about it. If you were "the one" she would drop everything and be with you. The fact that she "needs" to date other people is baloney. She is doing it to see if she can find somebody "better" than you, and if she does you're history. If she does not then she'll come crying back to you. If she does find somebody she will just bake up some half assed excuse that she has met somebody new blah blah blah. She is telling you all of this to either let you down softly, or to keep you hanging around while she goes out and fools around with other guys. Let her go and move on. You are not anybody's fallback option. Delete her ph# from your phone and have no communication with her whatsoever.

Well I am doing some of what "reckless" says to do. I am acting like I don't care anymore. I will keep in contact with her but not often. If she calls me I will make out like if I were busy and hang up first. In case she's laughing or the conversation in good flow I will tell her.. baby I have to go somewhere/do something... I will talk to you later... If its late on a night in, I'll tell her I have to do something.. And not tell her what I'm doing. If she texts, I will reply in a casual way, but won't reply all the messages. Point for doing this is to move on, and forget her... But I am not doing this to completely get her off my life and never have her back. I still have the option of having her back.

I just know she will not find the right guy, she cannot have what she wants. She is being completely stupid at the moment and of course she is young so I will just give her the time to do whatever she wants. I am not necessarily waiting for her but just trying to forget her. If she does find the right guy I'm cool with it, if not still depends how I will feel because I do not know how long this will last. It's just messed up why she would do such thing to me. Now I am just upset about it. I still love her and it's not easy to let go at the moment cause I still have feelings for her. I'll just go with the flow and let time be my friend. Time will help me forget her. I still have faith that we could come back stronger but again it all depends on how I will feel.

Why play games, just tell her the next time she contacts you that you need time and space and leave it at that