Turning a best friend into a lover, then back to a best friend, then back to a lover, then back to a best friend, probably won't work. History keeps seemingly to repeat itself with you two.

Consider that if the relationship has changed, let it be for the last time. Let him go, and move on. You will never figure out or accurately interpret all the words and actions, and even if you could, it would not change the fact that the relationship is over.

It has not been my experience to have a friend, after that friend has been a lover. Friendly, yes, friend, no. Stirs up old feelings, lots of 'what if's', and 'hmmmmm maybe... just maybe... '.

You said it yourself, "i really dont know how to start the friendship back without bringing up old feelings and memories if he doesnt feel the same."

And so it goes. I encourage you to stop with the idea that you can be friends, because of all the history between you. As I said, friendly is good as you will likely run into him during your travels, but know that to step over that boundary again, will likely land you in the same place.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Jake2008

Turning a best friend into a lover, then back to a best friend, then back to a lover, then back to a best friend, probably won't work. History keeps seemingly to repeat itself with you two.

Consider that if the relationship has changed, let it be for the last time. Let him go, and move on. You will never figure out or accurately interpret all the words and actions, and even if you could, it would not change the fact that the relationship is over.

It has not been my experience to have a friend, after that friend has been a lover. Friendly, yes, friend, no. Stirs up old feelings, lots of 'what if's', and 'hmmmmm maybe.....just maybe.......'.

You said it yourself, "i really dont know how to start the friendship back without bringing up old feelings and memories if he doesnt feel the same."

And so it goes. I encourage you to stop with the idea that you can be friends, because of all the history between you. As I said, friendly is good as you will likely run into him during your travels, but know that to step over that boundary again, will likely land you in the same place.

---

Lol.. I agree.. I learned that lesson the hard way.. but I think your referring to my first post a long time ago... I don't know why my threads were joined together, but look at the last situation and let me know what to do... I was always friends with this guy, but we never hooked up until now... and I don't want to mess this up... thank u :)

Ok OK... so we broke up... same stupid reason all guys give... "im confused." he said his ex came back in his life and wants to work things out. I know that is nothing but BS... he either got scared of the commitment, wanted to be free, wanted to explore, or really did want to patch things up with his ex. We had a civil conversation, agreed to stay friends, all the works... blah blah blah... now, what I want to know is what I should be prepared for. I read all the posts about NC and agree with them all. I will not call or text him... at least try my hardest not to... what I want to know is, what is his next step if any that I should prepare myself for... will he ever call or text? Do I respond? Do I simply ignore? Or will he never ever talk to me again? What are the chances he's being serious about his ex and they magically work out? Lame questions, I know... but its bugging me... any opinions? Also, is it bad for me to hope things between them don't work out? I'm not a horrible person... I would never wish bad things for anyone... but some stupid reason why I want another chance with him... it could just be mixed emotions at this point in time... but is it bad to hope?

It's not bad to hope, but it's counter productive.

He may call, he may text, but you don't owe him a response. It's best to got to and stick with No Contact.

Breakups are hard. Of course you're questioning what happened. Of course you're a bit jealous that he may find someone else. That's all natural.

The sooner you go to No Contact and the longer you stay with NC the quicker you'll heal. Otherwise you'll just keep taking a step back instead of a step forward.

Good luck.

I wish I had a little ESP and psychic ability so I could tell you why he broke up with you and if he'll be back, but I have no idea what's going on in his mind.

All I can say is that you should have no contact at all with him (even if he happens to call or text). Since you don't know where you stand you have to treat this as a permanent break-up and move on. Dust yourself off, keep moving forward and do not waste your time looking back at where you have been. You deserve someone who'll be there for you!

---------------------------

I don't need anyone to take advantage of my weaknesses or my strengths, I need someone who will appreciate me for everything that I am.

Sometimes we tend to be in despair when the person we love leaves us, but the truth is, it's not our loss, but theirs, for they left the only person who wouldn't give up on them