Whether the rest of you agree or disagree with Supermannnnnn in MY opinion he's right, walk away there's nothing more to be said.

Facts:
• She wanted to break up, uses her kids as the excuse. Maybe rightfully so…
• A week later she's dating someone else. HELLO… a week later!?
• Then wants to get back together yet to flake out once again saying, "wait". Wait for what!?

Sorry but you owe her nothing. I'd tend to believe she was already eyeing up this other guy and keeping her options open, a.k.a. backup plan. When she asked you to 'wait' in my opinion it was for her own selfishness to evaluate his potential over yours. You handled that well and gave a straight forward, “NO”. That's it, you're done.

Dude seriously… there is no need to go back and express that, “Ah… yeah…. I'm not going to be talking to you anymore because you wanted to compare the new guy's worthiness to mine. So I'll see you, OK?”

A REAL man or woman sees someone pulling bull$hit like this and walks away from it. Come on people… seriously…

From what I have seen on this board, going cold No Contact without telling the other person ends up with more questions and pain because the question of 'did I do the right thing' is always there.

Stating that you aren't going to contact them and you don't want them contacting you is a way of cutting out (or, hopefully at least, down on) the confused texts, phone calls, emails, etc. that seem to occur when one person drops off the face of the Earth with the expectation that 'she/he will get it'.

Why is it a sign of weakness to put some finality in place for yourself?

Jmjoseph: we broke up originally in September so I haven't seen them in 2 months anyhow. But I am actually going to talk to her and tell her that I'm walking away the next time she calls. I thought about just walking away without a word but that's not my style. It would be different if I had been firmer and I wasn't still being contacted by her.

No contact has been tough... I got multiple texts and emails yesterday. One of which said she was happy to be back in each others lives and that she thinks if we take it slow it will work out this time. Man why are women so hard to understand?

Cat I see your point, I do.

I guess I see it as the OP had his closure... she said, "wait..." he said, "NO. See ya, I'm done." He recognized her game and chose not to play. At that point, in my mind, there's nothing more to be said. That is 'finality'. However my point is I don't see walking away after you've made your decision and COMMUNICATED it as a sign of weakness. I think it takes a hell of a lot more strength, will power, and demonstrates character than to go back yet once again to initiate and have yet another discussion as to you're decision. That's weakness in my opinion.

The OP is not confused, he made a decision and executed it. He said, “NO” on being option B. Is his EX confused? Hell yeah! But who cares, she wants to eat her cake and have it too.

Listen, everyone has their way of dealing with things. One opinion is probably not more right or wrong versus the other. I respect your opinion Cat, but I respectfully agree to disagree with you.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by ORD8

Jmjoseph: we broke up originally in september so I haven't seen them in 2 months anyhow. But I am actually going to talk to her and tell her that I'm walking away the next time she calls. I thought about just walking away without a word but thats not my style. It would be different if I had been firmer and I wasn't still being contacted by her.

No contact has been tough... I got multiple texts and emails yesterday. One of which said she was happy to be back in each others lives and that she thinks if we take it slow it will work out this time. Man why are women so hard to understand?

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I guess this kind of makes my point. You want to heal and move on yet you seem to continue to pick off the proverbial scab waiting for the wound to heal. Poking one's hand in the fire and then asking why one's hand got burned isn't exactly intelligent.

OP you do what you feel is right. That's all anyone could ask of themselves. Best of luck buddy.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by ORD8

Last time we talked I said that I just didnt see things the same and that since she pulled me back in, she has to show me she wants this. At this point I am just getting that from her. And that you can't ask anyone to be patient and hang out in limbo while she figures things out.

Im just gonna tell her to figure things out for her and her children's sake... and Im moving on.

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He hadn't said 'no'. He left it at 'maybe/if'.

Now, he is saying 'no'.

Good luck, ORD. Remember that we are here if you want/need the support.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Imabadman

I guess this kind of makes my point. You want to heal and move on yet you seem to continue to pick off the proverbial scab waiting for the wound to heal. Poking one’s hand in the fire and then asking why one’s hand got burned isn’t exactly intelligent.

OP you do what you feel is right. That’s all anyone could ask of themselves. Best of luck buddy.

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I understand your points completely. The thing is I did say "NO" but somehow it did not get through to her. That's why I say I wasn't firm enough. I don't think it will set me back much further to once again explain why I said no, especially if it helps in getting her to stop contacting me. We'll see.

I'll keep you posted. This site has been a huge help!

You should tell her you are moving on and then walk away. She might not deserve an explanation, but it's always better to walk away being the bigger person and doing the right thing with utmost respect. If you just walk away and not tell her, it makes you a cold inconsiderate person, and you are not that person.