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Thank you cat but I don't get what the rest of you are saying. I've not contacted her in 3 days! I'm giving her space! So what are you saying. Why wouldn't I answer if she calls? We have not broken up and I do want to talk and fix things. Why is this wrong?
Did you try three times to call her back when she hung up?
Have you text her everyday?
The point of no contact is so that both of you can take a step back, reflect and gain some perspective. Once the two of you have had some distance, you will feel more objective and refreshed about your situation.
If you keep talking to each other, you will just add to the confusion and over-analyze all the little details, which is very unhealthy.
Spend this time working on yourself and not focusing on her.
I did call her back 3 times when she called andshe didn't answer nor did ahe send a text that it was a mistake. So that's confusing... also I have not text her in 3 days.
Emo, now, you need to work on the next step. IF her phone calls and hangs up again, don't try calling her back. Let her call again when she is ready to actually talk. Your calling back (3 times) probably seemed like a backward step to her especially if she didn't call in the first place.
Are you finding things to do that don't focus on waiting for her to contact you?
I just came just came out of the movies with my fam. I have to work from 12 mid to 8am now... its going to be torture because I am waiting for her!
I really miss my girlfriend. What if she is thinking about giving up on me? I'm getting to work and I'm so sad because this time last week is when everything happened. I feel so alone. Would I be able to trust her if she returns? I think so as long as this doesn't happen again and as soon as I mention she wants to do something I will say okay. Any words from anyone?
If you don't think you can trust her, then you need to say good bye and let her go.Quote:
Originally Posted by emopunk7
You feel alone because you are so wrapped up in what she does or doesn't do that you can't think about anything else. You need to accept that people in relationships need space. You included. If they don't have that space, they get defensive, irritable, angry, nitpicky, hurtful, etc. Do you have any other friends that you can hang out with while she hangs out with hers?
Okay implies that you are giving her permission again. Instead of saying okay, try "have fun" and mean it.
Definitely keep thinking this way. It's NOT easy, I have problems with getting upset in difficult situations as well, It's all in how you handle it. Good luck.Quote:
Originally Posted by emopunk7
How long Is it acceptable for her to be mad? Sunday will be a week.
So I have a littl e trouble trusting but so does she... hers may be understandable because I used to call girls before but only to get advice on how to fix my relationship... since I found this site its easy to eliminate that part and I got back with her with the promise that I wouldn't again and I have kept it. Now... she did something I didn't like behind my back... I got upset and did it back plus she had to wait an hour and a half for a ride since I was partying paying her back. After this I said sorry... how long is it acceptable for her to be mad? I'm willing to talk already!
Then you should just call her. At this point she's probably being a Drama-Queen. If she doesn't want to talk, she's being very ridiculous about the whole thing and I'd break up with her.Quote:
Originally Posted by emopunk7
At this point I am pissed! All this wouldn't have been happening in the first place if she didn't do what she did. She should have spoken to me and said that I have to be more trusting. Then when she was going out she could have told me and whether I liked it or not, at least she told me and then I have nothing to stay mad about. I am super nice to her... I love her... I snapped and did something wrong by paying her back but its her fault anyway... whether I'm jealous or not she can't just treat me that way. Plus I am willing to fix my problem and let her be herself so long as she is honest. Any woman would be lucky to have me... whats wrong with her?
Emo, this the same woman that you were having problems with before that Tal mentions. Did you learn anything from the past? Does she know about this site?Quote:
Originally Posted by emopunk7
The problem is you accused her without hearing her side of what happened. You decided that she "went out behind your back" just because that is what she had planned.
Have you stopped to think that maybe she was going to bed and then had a friend call needing someone? Isn't that what she tried to tell you when you made her prove that she was in her friend's car? She probably needed a friend's shoulder after that. You got upset because she wasn't on the shelf you put her on. She isn't a doll. She isn't a child.
Until these past few days, you really haven't given her time to calm down. Her being mad will take as long as it takes. There is no time limit. She probably is looking at the COMPLETE relationship and trying to decide if it is worth the upset and pain.
One of you needs to break this cycle. I really don't want to be here months, a year, or two down the road and going through this again. Do you?
What do you mean by break the cycle? She text me on Tuesday saying she needs time to get unpissed but isn't this too much time? I even text her on Wednesday that I miss her... its Saturday and still nothing. My brother says to forget about it because she is just going to dump me if its taking this long... I don't know what to think.. maybe I shoud go to her job today and apologize to her.
Or maybe you should take everyone's advice, and do other things with your time. You do have friends don't you or is your whole life wrapped up in this one female? (Like the other females you have had).
Bring flowers or something too. It could really help.
I'm going to tell you something that made me really happy, so you can use it as an example for the future.
My boyfriend wanted to go to a party last night. Instead of just going without mentioning it to me, he called and asked me if I was okay with him going. He kept his phone on him, he called me about 3 times in the hour and a half he was there, I didn't ask him to do this, but it made me feel better. He called me every once in a while because he knew I wasn't completely comfortable with him going to the party, but I trusted him enough to tell him that I was okay with it. And I didn't call him, he called me. He would have asked me to go, But he lives 3 hours away in college, and only comes home weekends. He couldn't ocme back this weekend because the guy he comes back with (his room mate) didn't come back either.
The moral of the story, is that he and I do these things to help build trust.
With the way you are acting? No thanks.Quote:
Originally Posted by emopunk7
So should I go to her job?
To bring her flowers?
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