Ask Me Help Desk - We flirt with each other, why isn't he asking me out

Quote:

Originally Posted by Homegirl 50

You are a smart LADY! I wish you someone who will chase you, I wish you the best.

I mean that with the deepest sincerity.

Ahhh! Thank you... very much!

Well, we'll see... I'll keep everyone posted...

He's not worthy...

Quote:

Originally Posted by lencheski

He's not worthy...

And YOU are!
Wipe your hands of this and move on girlfriend

Quote:

Originally Posted by Homegirl 50

And YOU are!
Wipe your hands of this and move on gf

Done...

I was feeling very vulnerable over the weekend and today I said if he doesn't call then that's it... I do have to work with him and will see him... but the first time he turns it personal or flirty/friendly I'm going to tell him about himself... I think that if someone puts themselves out there, it should at least me acknowledged.

I will tell him to stop, I extended an opportunity to get to know each other better, he chose to not take the opportunity, therefore, I really don't care to continue this "dance" with him.

I am worthy of someone who wants to get to know me, and not play this game. His loss...

Thank you all for the help and encouragement to put myself out there and ask someone out, I won't be so worried about it if I ever feel the urge again, I survived the rejection.

Quote:

Originally Posted by lencheski

...It would be unethical of him to pursue a relationship with me while she is still his student.

...That being said, he gives me clusters of signals that he's attracted to me and I just don't understand why he atleast hasn't stated his feelings for me. Why hasn't he asked me out yet?....

I don't get it.

You state the reason why and then ask why... ;)

I know.. you are conflicted and you are interested and eager for him to not give mixed signals.

m'kay... I've dated three women in situations that were potentially "inappropriate"... they were always single, there never was cheating, but due to circumstances, through work or association, our dating was dangerous at best due to possible "conflicts of interest."

I flirted hard with each of them, knowing I would date them with a "green light"... consequences be damned. One life to live and all... but... I needed each of them to do more "work" than I would normally.

I don't think I'm overpowering or too aggressive... but I'm fine to tell a woman I like her if that's where its at in most situations. "no thanks" won't break my back or spirit. I like to chase some, and I like a woman who is willing to chase. A little quid pro quo goes a long way. If she isn't interested, no harm, no foul.

All that said... when things were "complicated" I needed the woman to clearly show interest beyond flirting. Was willing to sneak around behind the lines, but only if she said "please come" in those few situations. Id extend an open invitation rather passively and see if shed bite. Kind of lead her down the path I wanted without risking too much.

And normally id tell a guy to screw that. Forget mind games. Man up and be direct.

But when your career is on the line... sometimes the boundaries get blurred and the rules change.

Met my wife this way. She was a supervisor (not direct) and our dating wouldve been one helluva scandal, and bad for her career. So there was some cat and mouse until I had clear enough signs from her that this was something we both wanted to pursue... not just flirting for the fun of flirting.

So...

You can step up and put him to the wall a little... ask him if he is interested... or you can just bide your time and see where this goes. A year goes by so fast, and with a child involved in the "conflict"... id probably hang back and wait it out.

Damn... I didn't read the thread to the end... I'm one of those people I b!tch about from time to time... too lazy to read the post through... *sigh* spankings my way.

lencheski... you have your head about you and I like your style. Don't kick yourself too much. Some people like the chase. Some like the possibility of a chase. Blah blah blah.

Loved your sticky note solution. Great way to approach this head on.

Quote:

Originally Posted by lencheski

Done....

I was feeling very vulnerable over the weekend and today I said if he doesn't call then that's it...I do have to work with him and will see him....but the first time he turns it personal or flirty/friendly I'm going to tell him about himself... I think that if someone puts themselves out there, it should at least me acknowledged.

I will tell him to stop, I extended an opportunity to get to know each other better, he chose to not take the opportunity, therefore, I really don't care to continue this "dance" with him.

I am worthy of someone who wants to get to know me, and not play this game. His loss...

Thank you all for the help and encouragement to put myself out there and ask someone out, I won't be so worried about it if I ever feel the urge again, I survived the rejection.

You are going to be fine!

You had the guts to take a risk, and sometimes that better than getting the prize.

I'm going through a similar situation myself. I read somewhere where it is called a Crush for a reashon because the other person can Crush your feelings at anytime. That makes a lot of sense to me. I wouldn't think about it anymore and get really busy. When he is not your daughters Counselor anymore and he doesn't see you anymore and misses you he will call you. You need to let the man pursue you so you will always know that he is interested. I'm taking this advise for my own situtaion.

Hi, I didn't read the posts all the way through. I have two great books for you to read, "Why Men Fall In Love With B*tches" and "Why Men Marry B*tches". They are really good books and give us women some insight on Men. Also in the future if you ever want to ask a man out, etc. go for it but don't care if he doesn't respond. I'm learning that if a man really wants to be with you he can't stop thinking about you and will do almost anything to be near you. Good luck

Quote:

Originally Posted by Michele2009

Hi, I didn't read the posts all the way through. I have two great books for you to read, "Why Men Fall In Love With B*tches" and "Why Men Marry B*tches". They are really good books and give us women some insight on Men. Also in the future if you ever want to ask a man out, etc. go for it but don't care if he doesn't respond. I'm learning that if a man really wants to be with you he can't stop thinking about you and will do almost anything to be near you. Good luck

Thank you for responding, yes, it was a blow or a crush, however, I have survived it. I have and am moving on. I have yet to talk to him... except for one work related thing, as soon as he made it personal or started to talk about himself I cut him off and said that I had to go. I was not mean or rotten, just professional to the nth degree. Oh well, his loss.

YOU GO GIRL!!
I'm proud of you

Thanks-