I know what you mean.. I say just don't respond... that's what I would do... it will be harder on you... I responded to my ex and helped her with all sorts of things.. then it was hard for me to part again... it will be better for you...

You will never understand anything about her, as long as your waiting for her to spend more time with you, and trying to figure out why she is doing what she is doing.

Only when your doing what you want to do and leaving her alone, will your confusion finally end.

Its been a month, have you gotten any closer to her?

K talaniman

So your saying just leave her alone don't say anything to her..

That's more or less what I have been doing, she has initiated contact the last few times.
Do you see us having a chance with the things she told me last time I was with her?

And I don't know if I should reply or not to her text saying she had good time hanging out thanks etc...

We have only been broekn up just under 6 weeks and you it does feel a little closer, she has actually opened up a bit , she is initiating contact, telling me she's in love with me etc...

Yes I am pretty confused though your right, like I just don't know why she would keep putting it off... like I kind of understand but not really...

Because you are already a fish hooked on the bait, why reel you in? You will enjoy the little bait she's given you while she goes out and continues fishing.

So she called yesterday morning and I missed it, so that evening I casually texted her "did you call earlier? whats up.." she texted back "just called to see whats up and see how you are doing".

Like I just saw her like 5 days ago, of course I'm fine. I think I will just reply something like "im doing good , hope you are too, -mike"

Maybe I shouldn't say anything though, I don't know man this sucks. Like I want to be with her and we are both still in love with each other. Just frustrating.

Stop talking to her!

Like should I maybe tell her point blank I think you are just keeping me around in case and I don't like that. Call me when you know what you want between us and hopefully I'm still available..?

But catch22, like she's shown lots of interest in getting back together, like we just hung out like 5 days ago and it went well. If we are possbily going to get back together shouldn't I at least be responding to her?

I'm in the same boat as you.. BUT I did not call her text her back. Read my thread for the advice one other member gave me, it might help...

If she wants to get back with you, she knows where you live, she has two able legs, which means she can walk her little arse over to your house and tell you this. You are reading too much into too little, it's called false hope and you are only prolonging the pain

So my ex called today she was asking how I'm doing lol, she was texting me yesterday and I told her I was good and hope she's doing well. She was asking me if I had plans this weekend I said you. She said what, I said well I'm hanging out with andrea a friend from work. She kinds got upset and was like what, are you seeing each other? Is she coming over? Are you taking her to a movie? I said I don't know what were doing yet , were just friends for now. I could tell she was upset then she said I got to go to work bye.

Like I'm not going to lye when she asks me what I'm doing tonight so she won't get jealous. Like she ended it with me and now she's mad I'm hanging out with an other girl lol, like go fly a kite.

I then received a text a few hours later saying I'm sorry I bothered you I won't call again. Have a great weekend!

Then another one a few mintues later saying my only wish is for you to be happy and enjoy life, please promise me you will. Smiley face.

Like is that all about. I really doubt she won't call again but maybe its for the better if she doesn't. I really think she is going through a tough time and is upset especially since I'm not sitting around waiting for her anymore. Like I'm not going to lie, I still love her and want to be with her. Just sick of the games and waiting around. I think she is kind of upset that I'm meeting new girls and kind of moving on too.

Any ideas what's going on in this girls head? I'm confused. Like on the phone she said again I can't be with you until I'm healed and neither can you be with me until your healed. Like is that even mean. Sounds kind of like bs to me. Why would you heal from someone to go right back to them. I don't know...

If you didn't answer the phone you would not have to worry about all this drama.Quit playing with yourself and her.

Dude I have to answer my phone, she's not the only restricted number that calls me. And like I'm not going to just hang up on her. Like this is a girl I was ready to marry and was with for nearly 5 years.

Damn.. that sounds soooo much like my ex.. asking if I have been going out a lot and bs like that.. and "like you saw the movie? i guess i have to look for someone else to go with me now." wth is that right?

I know its hard but I think WE need to go back to NC... I was really to marry my ex too.. so I know how you feel. I'm going to tell her tomorrow, I don't want to see you if you just want to hang out and feel better about YOUR actions...

At this point, you shouldn't have to worry about her feelings anymore... You don't have to do anything for her, it is all about you at this point. Well, that's what I'm telling myself LOL

If you didn't answer the phone you would not have to worry about all this drama.Quit playing with yourself and her.

WEll I thought I would leave a bit of an update here.. We are not back together... I was doing NC for a while.. Things were going OK, it was hard but I was slowly moving on... Then she starts sending me messages like I love you I always will I miss you so much.. I miss your smell... etc... SO we hung out... A few times.. Things went well... She noticed how I'm making changes.. ie more confident, more easygoing, more outgoing...

We ended up having sex again, we have about 4 times now... We hang out regularyl like m aybe once or twice a week... she sends me messages a lot... Its hard because she maintains that we are still just friends and we will see where things go... if its meant to be it will happen... Now when we were dating we ahd a two week trip planned together, and now it looks like she will be taking this trip with me still... AS friends she says... She says to me she wo nt commit to be anything more than friends until she has seen that I have really really changed and things will be different this time...

Like in all honesty it almost feels as if we are dating again... but were not... She even called us friends lol... I know like that is a pretty good deal for a guy is to have a girl who wants to have sex regularly but no commitment... I still find it kind of tough though... So basically she is taking this trip with me and wants to see that I really have changed before she will commit to dating again... And I don't even know she's just saying that to buy herself time or whatever... Like I kind of believe her... like why jump back into a relationship where you weren't happy... A part of me thinks it's a really bad idea going with her for two weeks... And she isn't coming for using me or anything like that because for one thing we are taking her car... I had a car rental all lined up and was fine with taking her in that but to save me money she pffered to take her car and save me the 6oo bucks... And also she could take this trip with a friend or anyone else... Why me right..

Anyway let me know what you guys think... I know it's a messed up situation... but I guess I'm going to have to see how things go... In a sense I have nothing to lose...

f**ck friends... is what she called us

Yea she's keeping you hooked until she finds someone else. You need a dose of reality here. You remember YOU right? She's using you for her lingering emotional and physical needs until she finds whatever she's looking for. Whatever it is, it's not YOU. Everything is convenient for her and her needs, not yours. You need to step up and remember that it isn't all about her... what do you want? She already stood her ground and said you are NOT together, so besides her, what do you want? Do you want to be treated like this all the time? Do you want this lack of respect in your life?

You shouldn't go on this trip one bit. It's going to continue to give you false hope. Fact is, if she wanted to be with you she WOULD be... she wouldn't be doing what she's doing now.

Quote:

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f**ck friends... is what she called us

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I looks like that's what you are all right. You must not have anything better to do. For sure she isn't letting you explore any other options or opportunities that may present itself.

Even friends with benefits can date others, can you??

Edited.

One thing that's a bit off here is, she is defining whatever it is this relationship is about, and your just going along with it. May I ask where your input is, and why your happy with f**k friends? Okay its easy sex, but who's paying for it? And who is really getting f**ked here? What if your not the only f**k friend, or she justs gets a better offer? Now what?

Well she isn't stopping me from seeing other girls in fact she said she's fine with it if I did... Although I'm not sure if she really means it as she has made some pretty jealous comments to me... in all honesty though the sex has been great lol... but I see where you guys are coming from... It would be kind of hard to turn her down and this great sex and say no... ya know what I mean guys... But you she is keeping me hooked... But likewise to her if some better girl came along and wanted to be with me then my ex might get burned too...