Ask Me Help Desk - Can anyone make sense from this?

That was a message I sent to her friend after being called god knows what

Look I give up OK, everybody has made up their own mind about everything and not even thought to ask me because I must be lying and whatever I don't care what anyone thinks about me anymore, think about it if I was with someone else the whole time I was with jen, do you really think every time me and her broke up, I would have cared and tried so hard to get her back if I had someone else.

I know exactly what happened and this is what happened and if you choose to believe me or not its up to you.

That jess girl came on msn drunk and talked to Paul and said that I cheated on Jen, Paul then text Jen to tell her and remember how much trouble this jess girl has caused in the past but now jen chooses to believe her funny that

I know exactly what happened no girl came up to Jen in wind st at all, the only time that happened was this Friday when my mate was out and saw her holding hands with mike and to be sure it her before he told me he sent his friend over to ask was it jen, while I was on the phone to jen

But I'm guessing jen forgot the bit where mike had phoned me and asked me what was going on with Jen sitting next to him all the time, and she let him wind me up, and instead of stopping him she just punched him when she said certain things

I'm not trying to say I'm an angel in all of this, one time we went through jens phonebill to see why she went over and she had sent things to a number ending in 150 I then had matts cousin emily come onto msn and say look this is his number and it ended in 150, so I said to jen about it and all this started, I didn't go looking for his number at all, do you really think id want to know she was texting him, but ill admit I got it wrong because it was jade's number not his

And I accused her for a very long time after she kissed mike that she was up to all sorts and I know I did that for way to long and about stupid things, so as you see I have done things but nothing I have been accused of.

And one time before I thought she had blocked me on msn so I asked someone to add her to see if she was online yes pathetic I know but there we are

I haven't asked anyone to text jen, to threaten jen nothing, whoever has said anything to her has nothing to do with me.

Jen has told people that I cheated on her in the first place of our relationship but we sorted it out and we got back together, that I ask people to add her on Facebook so I can see what she's doing, and that I use my friends facebooks to check up on her, lets be honest would I really do all that to see that she's fine without me.

And with the whole sam thing don't even get me started with that, I haven't told anyone anything all I've ever said was her ex messed with her head a lot what's so wrong with that, is it not true?

And I tell you what your adamant that the 4 page text is from a girl, ring the number your in for a big surprise

Apparently I've talked bad about her for ages.. since when? Apparently I get people to ring or text if they see jen which is a blatent lie, people have text me and said she's out but not because I asked them too, what am I supposed to do about that, its like jen texting you to say jez is out

Yes my mate david sent her a message on Facebook and he had a go at her but he only did what your doing now sticking up for a friend, and I had jen crying on webcam to me telling me that she loved me and how could I be over her so quickly and that she wants to work things out next day it all changed

And last night me and jen had a massive bust up because she decided to tell my little 12 year old sister she was upset because of me, when she didn't need to say anything at all to her

If I had done what I'm accused of doing then that would be fine but I haven't, jen asked me to leave her alone I did, as soon as I do that I have you messaging me on Facebook and jade texting me threatening me, and your telling me jen knows nothing about that? Well how else would jade get my number, and then jen said about the 4 page text I had nothing to say and she had sent it to me four days in a row, I had nothing to say about it because she said to leave me alone and I asked jen about you emailing and she said she hadn't seen you all weekend

Do you really think I want all this hassle, why would I do all them things when I love jen, but she's taken everyone else's word over mine and so will you too probably after reading this but all I can say is I tried.

And I am trying the no contact rule but she always texts me and says something is up so I ring her, in regards with calls do I just ignore them and texts? Or do I hang up so she knows I've seen it?

Quote:

Originally Posted by l8onjones

And i am trying the no contact rule but she always texts me and says something is up so i ring her, in regards with calls do i just ignore them and texts? or do i hang up so she knows ive seen it?

You ignore! This is about you healing... about YOU, not her. She is dead to you. Simple, plain and to the point, you owe her nothing. Her relationship privileges are revoked! Change your number if you have to.

I know this may seem like an odd question but I leave her alone like she says, but then she still texts.. why?

Because it strokes at her ego to know you will still answer her... cut the food supply off and the people shall starve!

Quote:

Originally Posted by l8onjones

I know this may seem like an odd question but i leave her alone like she says, but then she still texts..why?

Because you're so predictable. And she can manipulate you, very childish. But you have it in your mind that you want her back, and fear that if you don't respond in the way she wants that she would be upset with you, and never get back with you. So you let her be in control. Because you are hopeful. But instead of it making you happier, it makes you more and more unhappy and confused.

Understand this relationship is toxic. She has growing up to do, and so do you.

Ive come to the conclusion I'm going to ignore her for a week and play the whole oh sorry I'm busy routine after that

Well I've managed to find a way to block her calls and texts so here goes nothing, there's still little comments on my friends facebooks aimed at me but ah well.
I still have these days where I really miss her and days when I'm fine, She text me last night saying I miss you, at stupid o clock obviously drunk, it just seems like she's saying leave me alone until I want to talk to you, no chance am I doing that, and I guess your right I'm making excuses for still wanting her but as you said she's swanning around with some other guy she couldn't care less, and its time I did the same
Simply put she spoke to my mate on msn which meant she text me saying we need to talk, so we did found out she misses me and still loves me blah be blah, but the arguments still continued, and I ended up texting her saying " forget it, i try and make an effort to talk, you dont you dont trust me, dont wanna listen to antyhing i say and always accuse me of trying to cause arguements dont you see thats the last thing i want, ill just stay out of your life "

That led to me having a blank text sent Sunday and then two sent yesterday and two missed calls, one question... why? And it can't be an accident because she said she deleted my number

And since I've had her crying to me on the phone telling me she loves me and misses me and she gets annoyed when I mention other girls but we can't talk without arguing and now she's gone on holiday and won't speak for 10 days maybe this a good thing?

Have you considered blocking her on Facebook? That way she can't see you and you can't see her.

I'm glad your doing better and that you see the reality in all this.

You really need to stick to your guns on this one!

Is there anyway you can block her number? Some phone companies offers this, but very few... have you considered changing your number (if you do this you need to tell the people you give it to to not give it to her and it should be unlisted)

Also, when you see a txt from her delete it immediately, before reading it. That way you have received it but you don't know what it says. Which can be very very helpful for you right now!

, she went on holiday early hours of this morning and text me while she was waiting for her flight I was sleeping so she rang me so I wok up, the first text said " im not leaving you on bad terms babe tx me bk" followed by " tx me back snugglebum xxx" I said to her aren't you meant to be on holiday? Because I thought she'd flown earlier in the day the next text said " i dont care im not flying until 7 ill tx you as much as i can..lets make friends xx" I asked her about all the nights out she's had and whatever else and she replied with " i give up, i wanted to make friends incase anything happened, be friends with me x", I then asked if she had kissed anyone or anything else during our break up and she said " forget it, i already said no now we gonna smooch and make up or end like this xx"

I said to her we've had all day to make friends why leave it till now you only seem to text me when you have nothing better to do " I woke up at 2 , went back to sleep at 7, woke up at 3 thats why im only now textin you. im not going to get on that plane til were friends", Then this was just a random text " im in cardiff, happy times we had still make me smile im sorry i stopped you going out with your friends up there, i gotta sort my jealousy out x" I said well it seems as though you don't miss me and your fine " no i do i just hate admitting it im not fine x" I said why make out as if you are, why not be honest " I dont make anything out the girls know how i feel ive been crying to kirst all week, we go out to take my mind off it x" I said I don't think I can be friends while I'm still in love with you "try just til i get back from holidays, then we can talk more back on the 31st" I said I don't think I can do it, id have to stand around and watch as you move on " no i mean to be friends and talk when im back" She then said" im boardin soo do i tx you when im there? x" I said its completely up to you text me fi you want she replied with "see how i feel i get really homesick so try not 2, ill be thinking about you tho x" I said yeah OK have a good holiday see you soon "see you soon babe love you xx" I said love you too xx and she replied with " lots and lots and more and more and more xxx" and then she text me when she was there and that's basically how things stand now

I still can't work out whether its all one big game or not to be honest, maybe the ten days away will do good

I wonder if anyone can make the true meaning from this
Sorry if I treated you badly I never meant to I always adored you, loads of time to think out here xxx

The true meaning is however who reads it wants to interpret it.

If they want you back they will see it as sweet and meaningful

If they don't want you back they will see it as another desperate ploy to suck them back into something they are tired of

I'd go with the second!

Yes sounds like she has some sort of mental illness and is unstable, or is playing mind games with you, my son had something very similar happen to him and she was suicidal in the end and he couldn't bear to watch her like that but couldn't bear the consequences of what would happen if he left. It made him feel ill and depressed but he soon realised that she was the one with the problem and he couldn't help her so he walked. He feels lot better for it now and she's still the same. Don't keep running after her and replying to every little text even if it drives you batty. She needs to know that your not a doormat. Because whaterver you are doing its not making her feel any different by running after her is it.:)

And I guess the fact she said adored rather than adore, if it was a case of still loving me it would be adore?
I just don't know what to do and I still have feelings for her
What does the word adore man to you guys?

Have to spread the rep
Exactly when people use the I can't live without you suicide stuff it is to put a guilt trip on you to force you to stay. You can't make somebody love you and them thinking they can shows their lack of stability and the no relationship is worth being in if you are suffering by their demands no matter how passive the damands might be.
You have to live with your choices. Choose real love.
Caz is right when you respond to every txt every email, I-M or whatever it gives her false hopes and fuels her enough to keep doing it.

Adore means anything from admire to worship

False hope of what though?

Quote:

Originally Posted by l8onjones

I just dont know what to do and I still have feelings for her

You will always have some feeling for just about anybody that you were in a relationship with.
Daughters still often love their fathers even if they were abused or molested because they are their father.
Women often still love an ex that almost beat them to death.

Look at it sort of like from the perspective of stockholm syndrome to get a better idea

Phenomenon in which a hostage begins to identify with and grow sympathetic to his or her captor.

Stockholm Syndrome read this link it might help you a lot.

Also quit trying to read into her words adore/adored whatever you need to look at the overall picture with her. Reading into her words is only trying to justify your lingering feelings for her when you need to be looking at everything overall and objectively for where they stand.

What am I giving her false hope of though?

If you are replying to her every time she tries to contact you then she will think she still has a foot in the door at getting you back. Even if you are telling her you don't want back in the relationship she in her mind is still thinking that as long as she can get a word in and you respond then she still has a bit of a hold on you.