Who cares about what she say or think. Taking her thoughts in consideration is a thing of the past. Don't worry about that.

In the end you have to do what is in your best interest and goint there isn't because it will only set you back. Remember what happen the last time?

Go to another dentist if possible and keep your head up.

Going back there, she can see if I am depressed or sad, remember a look speaks a thousand words. She will know in what state I am and see that as weak. I can't just fake that everything is OK and be in a good mood. I know some people are good at that, they can put a façade or change in seconds. I want to move on with my life as quickly as possible and seeing her there will only delay my recovery.

It was very hard for me to refuse the friendship she offered, still today I am wondering if I will regret refusing friendship with her.
But the way she dumped me, I just could not do it, I was angry, still am and I will probably forgive her someday, but I'll never forget.

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Originally Posted by PirandelloLuigi

merci beaucoup! :-)

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What does this mean?

I just read your lastresponse and I must comment.

It is a good thing that you refuse the friendship she offered you because your not over her. Keeping her as a friend would have done more harm than good and could've lead to false hope.

Also, forgive her. Don't hold on to hating her. Forgiving her will help you with your healing process. When you don't forgive someone it can eat you up sometimes and you don't want that.

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Originally Posted by liz28

What does this mean?

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It means ''thank you very much'' in french

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Originally Posted by Justwantfair

Depends on the duration of the relationship, but they say the key is 2 months for every year of the relationship.

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I have heard that before,about a certain amount of time for every year.
I have always wondered who came up with that. Or if there has ever been any conclusive study.I guess I will just have to Google it :)

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Originally Posted by PirandelloLuigi

Going back there, she can see if i am depressed or sad, remember a look speaks a thousand words. She will know in what state i am and see that as weak. I can't just fake that everything is ok and be in a good mood. I know some people are good at that, they can put a facade or change in seconds. I want to move on with my life as quickly as possible and seing her there will only delay my recovery.

It was very hard for me to refuse the friendship she offered, still today i am wondering if i will regret refusing friendship with her.
But the way she dumped me, i just could not do it, i was angry, still am and i will probably forgive her someday, but i'll never forget.

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True, you don't want to show your emotions, but it will be good practice for you to learn how to put up a brave face.

But seriously, if you can't handle it, then do what you got to do! You know what's best for yourself.

It's hard to forgive because she often wanted to break up when we had arguments. So I feel she used it in a manipulating way to have things on her terms all the time.

I do not feel she was fair and this is why I am having trouble forgiving her. She always wanted to bail out and I was trying to keep her in. I don't hate her though. That's just the way she is, and nobody will change her. She will repeat this behaviour again and again I am sure. I did what I could, did my best, I know some guys that would have never lasted as long as I did with her.

I don't want false hope or false friendship. So right now the best thing is avoidance and distance. She wanted a break, she got her break, but she won't get the cake too.

I heard it takes half the amount of time.
So if relationship was 1 year, it can take 6 months.
It also depends of the mutual feelings involved.
The less feelings, the quicker the moving on.

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Originally Posted by PirandelloLuigi

She said me blocking her litteraly out of her life will only make it harder for her and it would be comforting for her to know im still around.

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And...

Not your problem , it was her decision to split.

Go back and read Artlady's post again , that's exactly how it is.

-the dumber ( if the dumbee tries this, he/she should wait for no response, a negative response or being dumbed again)
- he/she should have! Unless he/she feels he/she can trust this person again (being stupid and totally in love.. ) or/ and he/she somehow caused this ( very rare but still a possibility)
-a few days later (before the dumbee totally overcomes the other person)
- you can't

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Originally Posted by friend4u178

And.....................

Not your problem , it was her decision to split.

Go back and read Artlady's post again , thats exactly how it is.

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OK I read it, I understand that she probably tried to make me feel sorry for her that I refused friendship and that I was being unfair or making me feel guilty. As you said friend4, she decided to split so she has to live with the consequences of leaving. I am sure she knew by leaving that this was going to be a possibility.

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Originally Posted by PirandelloLuigi

Yes i think she has moved on for sure, but do you think she might still have feelings? I mean sometimes after we break up and the anger is gone, sometimes we can regret of leaving someone. It has happen to me before, i dated this girl back in the 90's we laster 8 years. We broke up a few times and got back together even after a year of no contact.

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Look.. I believe she's somehow arrogant. Her self concept appears to be hight and he boosts her self esteem even more. . I believe what you say about her moving on is correct.. but she needs reassurance from our friend, she needs to feel he's running after her simply to feel admired. Have you ever used the term broken glass? Metaphorically? Okay.. when you break up once , u lose it at some point and the ''vase'' is not that beautiful ever again and neither the relationship is. You may feel this girl is the one that stole your heart but she also ''betrayed your feelings so she can do this again'' she show you how psychological pain feels like.. just.. let her go. No replies.. nothing more and if you find the srength.. even if she finally e mails you... tell her to go f.. Herself . Act like you found something better, and work on it . U deserve more than this . Hope I helped.

I can't believe you asked this question. :-( When will you get it? Really? I thought you were starting to get it from your other thread, I guess not. Sign!

Unless you like being a pushover than go ahead. But if you want to get over her you shouldn't be walking down this road.

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Originally Posted by PirandelloLuigi

ok i read it, i understand that she probably tried to make me feel sorry for her that i refused friendship and that i was being unfair or making me feel guilty. As you said friend4, she decided to split so she has to live with the consequences of leaving. I am sure she knew by leaving that this was going to be a possibility.

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Exactly... it was her choice , so you get on with healing for YOU and don't even waste your energy thinking about how she feels , its out of your control anyway.

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-Should it be the dumper or the dumpee to start talks for reconciliation?

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Dumper

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-If the dumpee decided to do no contact.
-how much time after the breakup can this be a possibility?

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If the dumper wants you back, no contact won't stop them.

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-How can you know if the dumper still has an interest in coming back?

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They will rock heaven to let you know.

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Why are my threads merged?

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To stop confusion, and keep your story straight.

Sorry didn't mean to go off topic

You weren't off topic, that's not the point. Just starting new threads about the same subject is confusing to readers.

I know and I feel bad, it's Friday night and I started to miss her again. I am working on it, I wish it could stop, but I still get flashbacks. One of my friends is coming over and we going to a club, hopefully it will help me.

Thanks for the replies I appreciate your help, and you are helping me a lot. Someone said when you feel pain or miss her come post here and that's what I did. I have been respecting the NC rule, I just need to work on the missing her part.

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Originally Posted by PirandelloLuigi

I know and i feel bad, it's friday night and i started to miss her again. I am working on it, i wish it could stop, but i still get flashbacks. One of my friends is coming over and we going to a club, hopefully it will help me.

Thanks for the replies i appreciate your help, and you are helping me a lot. Someone said when you feel pain or miss her come post here and that's what i did. I have been respecting the NC rule, i just need to work on the missing her part.

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Just takes time , and the NC Rule helps with that.