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Why is she doing this?!

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You know what... who cares? Change your number - POOF no more texts/calls! End this, now. Stop dragging this out, you are only hurting yourself. Change your Facebook pic to a picture of a fluffy bunny and end this drama. You are only creating more emotional suffering and trouble for yourself here.

Seriously, enough is enough. Snap out of it! There's no need for any of this. Don't let her have any power over you and get on with your life. If she's trying to play games, DON'T PLAY BACK - you will ALWAYS win by doing this.

Ok, so after the text messages, yesterday I received a call last night! I was on the other line and I just clicked over before looking, so now I was on the phone with her. She just can't understand why we can't be friends and she wants to talk to me about all of these things that she listed and that it's been 3 years of talking to me everyday about everything and now I can't even be friends with her.

I told her that I'd love to talk to her all night about that stuff but I can't anymore, we're over, I'm beyond it and I'm moving on. She still doesn't get it and I told her not to call me, again. I'm not going to change my number because 1. I don't want to and 2. because then she'll know she's getting to me.

I have a few questions about all of this
1. Does she miss me and wants to start loving me again?
2. Why doesn't she get that I can't talk to her, I understood when she wanted time and such.
3. What do I tell her if I'm forced to talk to her again?

I am going to bang my head against the wall.

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Originally Posted by jman123h

Ok, so after the text messages, yesterday i received a call last night!! i was on the other line and i just clicked over before looking, so now i was on the phone with her.

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Then you should have told her the truth. The truth was you were on the other line, when your done if you have time you will call her back. By the way, when you were done, you would not have had time.

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Originally Posted by jman123h

She just can't understand why we can't be friends and she wants to talk to me about all of these things that she listed and that it's been 3 years of talking to me everyday about everything and now i can't even be friends with her.

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So she wants to break up and stay friends so she doesn't feel bad, while dragging you down. That doesn't work. Why are you asking this question again?

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Originally Posted by jman123h

I told her that i'd love to talk to her all night about that stuff but I can't anymore, we're over, i'm beyond it and i'm moving on. She still doesn't get it and I told her not to call me, again.

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Dude, quit being a p*ssy and just quit telling her your not going to talk and she can't call you. Just stop. Don't tell her, just don't call. Don't tell her not to call you. Just don't pick up. If you do by accident then end the conversation.

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Originally Posted by jman123h

I'm not going to change my number because 1. I don't want to and 2. because then she'll know she's getting to me.

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SHE IS GETTING TO YOU!! You are doing nothing to stop her from talking to you. Honestly, has anything you've done worked? Why not try something different, like just not talk to her. Don't tell her, just stop.

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Originally Posted by jman123h

I have a few questions about all of this
1. Does she miss me and wants to start loving me again?

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No.

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Originally Posted by jman123h

2. Why doesn't she get that I can't talk to her, I understood when she wanted time and such.

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Because she knows she can dump her emotional garbage on you and the only response you seem to give her is, "uh umm ... could uhh umm ... would you please ... uhhhh umm can you please, pretty please not talk to me?"

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Originally Posted by jman123h

3. What do I tell her if I'm forced to talk to her again?

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WHAT THE ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT??

You aren't forced to do anything. Just don't talk to her.

For the love of all things holy, getting dumped sucks really bad. It does, but we are all telling you what to do, and you aren't listening to a damn thing, and they you keep posting asking the same question a different way.

So here's the deal. You've tried it your way. Your way isn't working. Your way is prolonging the pain. Your way is not getting results. Your way still has you at the end of her string.

So here's the way we are all saying you can escape the this. STOP TALKING TO HER!!

You don't owe her an explanation... you do, however, owe yourself some defined action towards progress.

Quit trying to talk the talk, when you can't even walk the walk.

Okay. I won't answer ever, and I won't text back ever. Thanks.

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Originally Posted by jman123h

okay. i won't answer ever, and i won't text back ever. Thanks.

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Dude, I'm not trying to bully you around because I know it looks that way, as God as my witness I have your best intentions in mind. Just trust us here. Just follow your own words above and let the pain heal.

Okay, okay. I will do my absolute best. It's just so tough as everyone knows. I just miss her so much. Her laugh, smile, touch, kiss, the way she talks, the way she sneezes. You know all that little stuff. The feeling she gives me as I feel her body on top of mine.

How do you do that again with someone else after 3 years of that crazy feeling with the same person, how do you love again?

By healing!! That's what we have been telling you, over and over again. You really need to cope with those feelings, fella, and that's the whole point. Its called growing up, and being good to yourself.

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Originally Posted by jman123h

Okay, okay. I will do my absolute best. It's just so tough as everyone knows. I just miss her so much. Her laugh, smile, touch, kiss, the way she talks, the way she sneezes. You know all that little stuff. The feeling she gives me as i feel her body on top of mine.

How do you do that again with someone else after 3 years of that crazy feeling with the same person, how do you love again?

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It is tough, not impossible. I've been in 3 year relationships too, and like you I've been dumped. I don't doubt for one second that you are in love with this girl. But she doesn't feel that way about you. That's just a cold reality of life. But by the same token, she is one of 3 billion girls. You aren't in a place to date any of them now, but if you just take a step back, let this emotional pain go away.

After 3 years, I won't lie, this isn't going to happen overnight. It's going to take some time, but for your own mental and emotional help, you owe it to YOURSELF to just back away and not talk to her. I have been on this site for 3 years, and I can tell you that every poster who has responded to you cares more about you then she does. Next time you have the urge to let her lie and manipulate you think about that. Who's really looking out for you? Has she been or has she been emotionally abusing and torturing you? Granted you allow it, because you won't quit talking to her, but she don't care. But go back and read all these responses, even the ones critical of you, we still have your best outcome in mind, she doesn't. Now it's your turn to decide, do you want to follow the advice of people who have been there and understand it, or the girl who is using you when you are emotionally weak. Do the right thing.

Wow. You're definitely right. And it's so hard for me to see that cute innocent girl who was the least selfish anyone could ever be and was there at any moment, is gone. And she doesn't care anymore. She's thinking totally about herself. I hate selfish people, I actually wrote a college essay on it. It's so crazy how people change.

Chuff, after being in different serious relationships do you still miss them? Or compare them? And those certain things that were perfect on the first girl are now not like that on the next. And I know now that girl is going to have other perfect things that you should love. But I'm so picky.. she was everything I ever dreamed of in a girl.

How long does it take to heal and move on? I know every one is different, but I am crushed still and I don't know when it's going to end.

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How long does it take to heal and move on? I know every one is different, but I am crushed still and I don't know when it's going to end.

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It is true that everyone is different. I've found that the most important factor is your willingness to TRULY let go of all false hope. The sooner you get to that stage, the faster you are on your way to recovery. Having a good support system helps too. Luckily, I've had unbelievable friends and family I could rely on to help me through my last breakup. This actually made me realize that I had such a great support system. Now I appreciate them all even more because of what I've gone through.

I know right now it seems like it isn't going to end and like there's no hope. But what if I promised you that if you gave your best effort to follow the advice offered to you here that would be at the point in life where you'd be over this - would you do it? Because here's the thing... many of us have been through these same trials and tribulations - we're living proof it works! Have faith in yourself and that the pain will fade away, and it will.

I don't know if I'd do it. She was really confused when we broke up. I feel deep down that she's going to come back. I'm not telling myself to think that and it's something I'm trying to stop thinking. But once she is a couple weeks of 100% NC, I think she'll realize. I just woke up from sleeping and my dreams consisted of me talking to her mom and having her help us work through it, and also me being with her.

It's terrible.. I still feel empty and that a huge piece of me is gone.

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Originally Posted by jman123h

I don't know if I'd do it. She was really confused when we broke up. I feel deep down that she's going to come back. I'm not telling myself to think that and it's something I'm trying to stop thinking. But once she is a couple weeks of 100% NC, I think she'll realize. I just woke up from sleeping and my dreams consisted of me talking to her mom and having her help us work through it, and also me being with her.

It's terrible.. I still feel empty and that a huge piece of me is gone.

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I know what you mean... I've been there before. It truly is very much like having a loved one pass away (obviously not to the same degree, but it damn sure feels like it). There's definitely a sense of loss and that is totally normal.

What I tell people in situations like this is that even if you do want her back, you still need to cut that last thread of hope and start working on being the best person you can be. If by some odd twist of fate she comes back, you will be a better person than you were before right? This all boils down to the fact that you need to clearly define what is within your own realm of personal control and what isn't. Her coming back = not within your control. You moving on, working on yourself, and becoming a better person = in your realm.

It is time for you start working on things you can directly control - as we all know trying to control things you can't is pointless and a waste of time and energy. Cut that last thread of hope - you will feel relief. Then work on yourself and your life.

I try and I try and I try, and it's becoming more that the hardest part of my day is waking up, and going to bed. I think about her all day but it isn't as painful. It's great to not hear her voice or see her face in pictures or on the computer.. it really helps me through the day.

But, she texted me today. Right after I posted a received a picture message. It was a picture of her favorite ring I bought her. A piece had broken a few months back and now another little piece had fallen off. She wrote on it too, another piece of the enamel fell off!

I sent no reply, and don't plan on it. She obviously still wears my ring and still thinks about me a lot. We meant so much to each other... I can't let go of that hope, my body won't let myself.

Until you get a grip, and get healthy, you are no good to anyone, not even yourself!!

Get with the program!

I had a good weekend, but now that it is Sunday I have a lot of downtime. I got to thinking about her. I really really really miss her. Every Sunday at this time we would always hang out so sundays weren't as boring as usual. I'm hurting so bad right now, and am just reviewing everything we've ever done in my head. How can she be so comfortable with this... Right now I feel like I'm back to square 1, when the past couple of days I felt like everything was going to be okay, and it was in the past

Life is full of highs and lows, your sitting there letting your mind play those tricks on you because you have no plan that gets you busy.

Sunday is a good day to dress up, and visit people after church.

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I'm still as anxious as ever and miss her uncontrollably.

We've been no contact for only a week right now, because I don't talk to for about 10 days and then she'll call me constantly. So I finally blocked her number, admitting to myself that it's 110% over now. But I still find myself having most of my thoughts about her. She was really a special girl to me, but she must not have been the one.

I'm just confused on how to ever open up to someone again, how to call someone new 'baby', how to go to the restaurant that used to be yours again, and importantly how could she let someone go who she has shared the greatest thing she's ever had.. This took a big toll on me and my life, I just want to feel good again and one day love again.

You never get over your first true love, but in time it will get easier. Hang out w/ your friends
Have fun and in time you will find yourself taking interest in a new girl that catches your eye. Don't be hard on your ex she is going through the same emo roller coaster... as said it will take time.

I'm in the same situation, finally reinitiated no contact for the second time last week. Its so hard but after going no contact again I've started to realise the importance of why you have to do it. The more time you have away from her physically and mentally you start to get yourself back a bit. Only once you get this back should you even begin to think about what to do next. You may even realise that there could be someone better than your ex. I'm starting to think that, but I know that I still love her.

Once you do get yourself back, the realisation that you have the capacity to love (not just her but to love in general) will allow you to move on. Hope you are OK, I found message boards such a help in getting my confidence back and allowed me to kind of externalize my pain and realise that its not just me who has felt the amount of anguish I once did.