Yes, the issue went far from where it needed to be. This was not intended to be an issue between Talaniman and myself, however it has. I still see some valuable comments here none the less. It may be my error in even angaging Talaniman, who's advice I have at this point at least made clear that I do not want. Talaniman is an advisor on this site, and has the right to be. Regardless on this issue, I wanted opinions, and mainly those from people who have been in this situation before. Those who did give their opinions from this standpoint I greatly appreciate. I've said what I felt towards Talaniman, just as he has toward me. Name calling took place on both ends, regardless to who started them. When you put "you" before an adjectvie it can become name calling. Regardless this is Talanimans style of giving advice. It is not even that serious, that's the point...
If anyone has any other points of view to share, or experiences with their partners who put them in a similar situation, please feel free to contribute.
Thanks!

I also felt it important to mention that I have lived with this female for 4 months. I did not say that we have only been together for 4 months. This is not the case

Hi everybody.

Can we get back to the issue and a follow-up now. I hope this thread is not turning into a b*tching session because it would be such a waste of time and energy. I too have a few posters on here that totally irritate me (intentionally or not) and I try not to take it personal because each of us is entitled to our opinions and no two personalities are alike - but let's all go back and respect that.


So GF, can I assume, that:

You have broken with this relationship?
You had consequent conversation with her mother and she agreed that what they did was wrong (at least by your point of view)?
You are irate about this loss and will probably need some time to get over it and go on with your life in hopes of finding someone compatible?

I hope you can find appropriate and amicable time and place to vent your frustration - because we all need a 'punching bag' when pushed to the limit. I Just hope that this site is not your current target.

Let us know what next step you have planned toward your future.

http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/15/15_11_2.gif

Hey Chery. At this point in time, her mother has went back home. Flight left yesterday afternoon. I have talked with this woman about this whole thing more thoroughly. She understands what she did was wrong, and has expressed regret for her actions. I believe her. So as a follow up, I would like to say that I have taken our relationship off hold, and are working on our communication. I had to put it on hold before because her mother was still here in my house, and I could not think comfortably. I may like to hear more of your opinions here as others may like to speak on this type of relaitonship issue. Other than the spats that I have had here, I enjoy this website, and enjoy reading and sharing experiences

Hey there Genuine,

When I read your first post for this thread, I too felt that maybe you were being somewhat controlling, assuming that this was a one time ordeal and that you just jumped the gun basically without hesitation.

However, I too would be fairly angry if my girlfriend told me she would be back at a reasonable time and couldn't even call me or text me letting me know she will be out longer or won't be coming home that night.

Do you think that if she were to have contacted you that you wouldn't be so mad, or mad at all?

People make mistakes, that's how we learn. I'm young, but I have some old-fashioned values myself. I expect that if someone tells me they will do something, that they do it or at least alert me ahead of time of changes.

I do think that you didn't need to go off on a rant about Talaniman though for giving you his advice (it wasn't like it was fact, laws, or anything you must abide by.) There will always be conflicting views, or other peoples opinions/advice that you may not agree with. But that's not necessarily a bad thing. At least then you can see something you may not have thought about.

Controlling and being possessive are different, controlling is not as harsh, more of an issue that can be worked on. Being possessive is dangerous and would need serious help to turn to the better.

Though you have already expressed your concerns with your girlfriend, and things seem to have gone better. I hope she understands where you're coming from, and that you were worried if anything bad had happened to her, and I hope you understand that this may be her personality and the way she does things and if you intend to pursue this relationship for the long run, that you may have to learn to deal with this from time to time.

At least she came back, right? I wouldn't have thought she would do that with her mother in my opinion, but I also don't know what kind of relationship they have with each other.

Talaniman gave you his advice, no need to bring childish insults and bad mouth his reputation into the mix just because you don't necessarily like his response to your issue. He just calls it like he see's it, and never once has he told me that my actions were a cause of my own issues and that I am at fault. Most people here will vouch for Talaniman as he has taken time out of his day to help random people (who could all be jerks out in the world, including me even though I'm not) with their problems.

I hope things go more smoothly for you, I know it's hard dealing with your situation, feeling betrayed because of the other persons carelessness and disrespectful actions. As long as you keep a good line of communication and make your issues known (as well as be open to any concerns she may have of things you are doing, and see what you can do about them) then you should be fine.

Good luck!

Dude-

I know this is an old post, but I feel the need to respond anyway. To make this really simple... ask yourself one question. "Would I put up with all my girlfriends crap if there was no sex involved?" If you and here were not having sex, would you put up with her lying, doing illegal drugs and partying all the time? My guess is probably not. So, the answer is - you were only in that relationship for sex anyway. If that's the case, it's good you dumped her because her baggage isn't worth it. Find a woman who is emotionally healthy, honest, loving AND good in bed, and you should be much happier.