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-   Relationships (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/forumdisplay.php?f=277)
-   -   Age difference hindering me to ask them out. (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=225848)

  • Jun 15, 2008, 10:01 AM
    Kaege
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by jrsg
    She has already mentioned that she is 14, and the guy in question is 22.

    You say that you have a lot of expirience with meeting people online... I'm just curious as to what expirience you have. Is it meeting friends, or have you have long distance relationships over the internet before? Also, what is your history with dating?
    Have you ever gone to meet somebody in real life that you met online?
    And do you know the risks you are taking with trusting those you meet online as much as you do?

    I'm just curious because at 14, I can't understand how you can have all this expirience. Maybe you can prove me wrong though, I won't assume anything here. All people and situations are unique, and I think if you provide me/us with more information, we can provide more accurate advice.
    My first boyfriend IRL was in 6th grade, a girlfriend in 7th (Both being fakey puppy love that ended quickly), then the last in 8th.
    After my breakup with him, I did have a friend online that I liked, and she liked me back, but we never went further because of age. (She was 23, and I was 13.)

    By online experience I do mostly mean only friendships. However, I have had a couple 'flings' you could say, online. I play an MMORPG, and I've had a few relationships via characters before. As in, it was our RP characters who established a relationship, but the other and I did have some real feelings for each other, just never did anything with it.

    I understand the risks, but again I do stress the fact that I don't give information out like last name, number, high school, address, etc. which the crazy stalker types could track me down with. And I have met people like that before. Believe me I can tell the difference.
  • Jun 15, 2008, 10:02 AM
    Kaege
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by talaniman
    She knows your conversating with a 22 year old boy, and wants to set up a date?
    She knows that I have -friends- of that age, but she doesn't know that I like them. I've never once told my mother about my crushes or relationships.
  • Jun 15, 2008, 10:03 AM
    Kaege
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by JudyKayTee
    No father in the picture - ?
    No, divorced and he's not allowed to see me.
  • Jun 15, 2008, 10:08 AM
    Kaege
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by jrsg
    Having an online crush is NOT a sign of bad parenting. However, parents letting their 14 year old date a 22 year old online is a sign of bad parenting. Parents should be protective, and should have no tolerence for who she meets online. With the thousands of online predators out there, the chances of this girl running into one are HIGH!
    There is nothing wrong with an online crush. There is something wrong with a 14 year old and a 22 year old having a romantic relationship over the net.

    From what it sounds, Kaege's parents don't sound to involved or aware of what Kaege is doing online. If they were good parents, they would be much more involved and protective.

    And Kaege, don't take this as a personal attack, it's just my opinion.
    Believe me, my mom has definitely questioned me about my friends before, and she constantly reminds me that "anyone could be a predator!" etc.

    She's not one for levity when it comes to my online activity.

    But as the usuale teenage kid would do, I stress my personal privacy. So she doesn't read my IM's over my shoulder, or the like, that often anymore.
  • Jun 15, 2008, 11:25 AM
    jrsg
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Kaege
    After my breakup with him, I did have a friend online that I liked, and she liked me back, but we never went further because of age. (She was 23, and I was 13.)
    That was a good decision. She was 23, you were 13. A 10 year gap. 14 and 22 is still a big age gap. An 8 year gap. Don't you think this relationship won't go any further because of age difference?
  • Jun 15, 2008, 12:59 PM
    Kaege
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by jrsg
    That was a good decision. She was 23, you were 13. A 10 year gap. 14 and 22 is still a big age gap. An 8 year gap. Don't you think this relationship won't go any further because of age difference?
    Yeah.

    So I guess "Maybe someday" is what I'm stuck to thinking for now.
  • Jun 15, 2008, 02:57 PM
    JudyKayTee
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Kaege
    My first boyfriend IRL was in 6th grade, a girlfriend in 7th (Both being fakey puppy love that ended quickly), then the last in 8th.
    After my breakup with him, I did have a friend online that I liked, and she liked me back, but we never went further because of age. (She was 23, and I was 13.)

    By online experience I do mostly mean only friendships. However, I have had a couple 'flings' you could say, online. I play an MMORPG, and I've had a few relationships via characters before. As in, it was our RP characters who established a relationship, but the other and I did have some real feelings for eachother, just never did anything with it.

    I understand the risks, but again I do stress the fact that I don't give information out like last name, number, highschool, addres, etc., which the crazy stalker types could track me down with. And I have met people like that before. Beleive me I can tell the difference.


    You do know that if you sent me an e-mail and I set out to find you I could get your identity with a fair degree of certainty - depending on your area - in a very short time?

    People give out identifying information all the time, often without realizing it.
  • Jun 15, 2008, 03:04 PM
    Kaege
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by JudyKayTee
    You do know that if you sent me an e-mail and I set out to find you I could get your identity with a fair degree of certainty - depending on your area - in a very short time?

    People give out identifying information all the time, often without realizing it.
    Yes, which is why I don't disclose anything like that to anyone who gives off the 'stalker' flare, or anyone who I'm not personally friends with.
  • Jun 15, 2008, 03:10 PM
    JudyKayTee
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Kaege
    Yes, which is why I don't disclose anything like that to anyone who gives off the 'stalker' flare, or anyone who I'm not personally friends with.

    You are on the Internet, right? You have an Internet Address. All the other person needs is some knowledge and/or a "connection."

    Look, you are apparently going to do whatever you are going to do. I have no idea why you even posted the question when your mind is already made up.
  • Jun 15, 2008, 05:27 PM
    Kaege
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by JudyKayTee
    You are on the Internet, right? You have an Internet Address. All the other person needs is some knowledge and/or a "connection."

    Look, you are apparently going to do whatever you are going to do. I have no idea why you even posted the question when your mind is already made up.
    My mind WASN'T made up.

    I know that it's easy to find someone over the internet, I know. I seriously doubt anybody is going to find the need to stalk me, allright?

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