Ask Me Help Desk - Hi Everyone, I could really use your advice

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I just need some time to get my bearings. He said that 'that
Ship has sailed' and we can't ever get married to each other. He said that he bought the ring and returned it. He was going to propose to me while on our trip to vegas (which he cancelled), but because of what I said, he is dropping the whole thing and returned the ring. He said he wants a relationship that doesn't require any 'work', and that maybe in time we can be friends. He said he also couldn't guarantee that he wouldn't run out of the marriage or something down the road, because I am a 'project' (whatever that means). I told him that nobody is perfect, and when you love someone, if there are bumps or hurdles you work them out together. He wants a 'trouble-free' relationship/marraige. I tried explaining to him that when I said I couldn't marry him, I didn't really mean that. What I really meant was that because in the past he kept yo-yo'ing I just didn't want that to happen again. I even suggested that I still move down to GA, and we live together and then down the road get married. Nope - he said no. :'-( I am truly heartbroken. Here I have pined over this man for 4 years, I was just about to become his fiance' and I have lost him, and he doesn't even feel the same way, or care for that matter.

That is from your very original post/question. I have to be very honest with you and it may seem harsh BUT if any man said all of this to me after all that we had been through.. the last thing I would be entertaining would be to call him to discuss concerts plan.

I wouldn't contact him, let him miss you, and if he doesn't reach out to you to try to make plans for this "trip" then you have your answer. Walk away with what little dignity you have left now, because clearly since you are still very emotional and tied up in him (since it is still early since this has all occurred) I do believe you are just setting yourself up for more heart ache.

If that is what you want then by all means contact him, but I believe you do deserve better then what he has proven time and time again willing to offer you.

Just my two cents.

I agree... this guy has dissed you so many times... you don't need to be calling him for anything... but that's just what I think.. let him contact you.. wouldn't u feel better if instead of you calling him, he calling you?. wait until he contacts you, and if you want to go to the concert then do it.. but like I said hope for the best but prepare for the worst

Hi Epiphany,

You are right, I have thought about that too. I guess in a way I am looking for him to come around so to speak, and to see what his reaction is when we see each other. After he said what he said (from my original post), he did ask if I am still going to the concert(s) with him this summer (I think there is 4 that he got tix for before this all went down). He did say he wants to be friends (with no benefits which is comforting), but after all this, I would love the oppurtunity to really have a talk with him in person about everything... I'd prefer that he brings it up first though...

Hi Guys,

I want to call him so badly. I miss him so much. I wish and pray he would call... I don't know what to do... I know, I should do nothing... but I am afraid that I won't hear from him again...

Get up make coffee and take that morning run.

I agree, do something that takes your mind off him. Or take the battery out of your cell phone this way when you get the urge to call him, you have to go through the hassle of putting the battery back in and turning on the phone all to call someone who probably won't pick up.. Is it worth it? I think not

Thanks Romefalls,

I just miss him so much, and I wish he felt the same way... obviously he doesn't though I guess..

So whom are you with? And where do you come from? How old are you now?

I am not with anyone... I want him back. I love him so much, I just wish he would contact me... I come from NY, and I'm 39

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Originally Posted by starlite1

I am not with anyone... I want him back. I love him so much, I just wish he would contact me...I come from NY, and I'm 39

How long do you wish to wait for him? You give so many advises out there? And do you follow any of those advises? That s wa they say "doing is different from talking".

Cfloveu - I know.. I should take my own advise... but I do miss him, and I do love him. I just wish to God that he would communicate with me, and we can work things out..

That being said, if he doesn't want me anymore, there is really nothing I can do about that, is there? I can't force myself onto him, force him to take me back... I've tried that in the past... and it falls on deaf ears... if and when he wants to talk about 'us', I am all ears...
He wants to remain friends though (no benefits - he even said that too). But, I really would love to be more again...

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Originally Posted by starlite1

Cfloveu - I know..I should take my own advise...but I do miss him, and I do love him. I just wish to God that he would communicate with me, and we can work things out..

Star: You are really a sweet and a nice person that everyone would like to adore and love. I wish you were mine. Someone must be really lucky to have a person like you in their lives. Love is very precious and true love is very scarce in this world.

Thanks CF, that is very kind of you.

I pray to God that he comes around, but perhaps God has someone better around the corner for me, who knows.

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Originally Posted by starlite1

Thanks CF, that is very kind of you.

I pray to God that he comes around, but perhaps God has someone better around the corner for me, who knows.

Starlite, can we be friends? I really am in need of a friend like you.

We are all friends here, cf! You have all of us here!

Did you post your situation on this site?

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Originally Posted by starlite1

Did you post your situation on this site?

I am not speaking about all but am speaking about you and only you.

Please do not take offense, CF, but I get the feeling that you are looking for a more 'personal' or 'intimate' friend. I apologize, but I am not looking for that. I am working on hopefully getting back with my ex, and making myself stronger.

Like I mentioned, if you want to be friends, and ask advice as friends do, hence all my friends on this site, I will be more than happy to offer helpful advice.

OMG:eek: