Ok your saying that you have cut the strings and your not going to have her pulling your strings? So why the hell you going to be there for her!! You need to get on with your life and enjoy yourself...

Set your caller I.D and let the answer phone take her calls, if you are saying that you have both split now then I would say issue her the " NO CONTACT RULE " this is a good thing to do for you both as your both going to feel pretty screwed up right now... Go and find that nice girl that ain't going to give you b/s all the time!! Start to LIVE leave HER *** in the PAST.

I didn't say I'm still there for her, I meant that she knows I still have feelings for her, and that she knows where to find me. You can't just lose feelings for someone overnite, no matter what they do.

Matt that's correct my bad sorry I miss read what you had put...

Yea the feelings are going to be there and cutting deep inside you, but you have to get your head 110% straight or you will always be living in the past our wishing or trying to get things back on with her... She probley feels as bad as you do now that things have blown up head on!

But you will find that as you move along with your life, she will slip a little further back of your mind each day. Until you find oneday that you don't even think of her at all... There is a good saying, she won't know what she has lost until your gone....

Break ups are hard on all side's no matter what.

Lol, well maybe now that I told her that I'm leaving her and not waiting around, her security is gone. So she will start to think about what it is that she has lost now that she doesn't have it anymore.

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Originally Posted by mattvit

lol, well maybe now that i told her that im leaving herand not waiting around, her security is gone. so she will start to think about what it is that she has lost now that she doesnt have it anymore.

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Your correct it will really kick in now that your not on that string that her security blanket is gone;)

I know its going to be hard for you, but keeping yourself busy is always a good way to keep your mind off her -- visit friends etc -- have some fun... Now is the time for you to start to live :)

You, for sure she will actually start to really think about things and start to realise things in a way she didn't before now that her serurity is gone. Guaranteed she won't enjoy being with the other guy now that this has hit her really hard, she will probably be thinking of ME. HAHAHA. Anyway, I have been going out and it helps, but I still think of her and find myself wanting to be with her still but I can thelp it, I'm only human. Thanks to all who help/lisetned to my complaining .

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thanks to all who help/lisetned to my complaining

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Come on a problem shared is a problem halfed... There are always people her 24/7 ((365)) willing to listen and help you out.

Matt just keep that busy lifestyle up and you will find it does get easy with time, TRUE not an overnight fix but time...

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Originally Posted by mattvit

i have been acting like the guy she fell in love with. she wanted space and i didnt call her, or bugg her, and she was happy i was respecting her wishes. it was her that called me. so i did not chase her. i was decent enought to wish her the best. so im not totaly messed up. maybe i have pushed her away more, but i dont think its as bad as it could have gotten. so i dont think ive totaly messed up. for sure she has been stringing me along, but after telling her im leaving for good, the string is cut. i did it for myself to clear my head. im sure she was upset because it happend all so suddenly however, for sure she still knows that im here and i still have feelings for her.

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Dear, I still have feeling for my very first boyfriend and we email each other at least twice a year, but I don't think I'd ever want to share a different part of my life with him. Once a 'special' feeling is gone, on the man or woman's part, that's it. There is nothing that can be done to regain that 'tingle' or trust, as it has been 'stabbed' The only outcome could evolve into an amiable friendship which is not all bad, if you can emotionally handle it. Most adults can and it's healthy to be able to remember people we shared special moments with. But when the time comes to let go, then let go and continue with your life. No person in the world, unless older, wiser, and committed to spend the rest of his/her life with each other can understand how important it is to compromise and overlook those little 'quirks' which every human being has. Nobody is 100 percent perfect, but we don't have to hate them either, once the initial pain is gone. Let it heal, then go on and start living your life building a new chapter with the experience you've gained (good or bad).

Unfortunately that's what life is all about, living and learning and dealing with life, one way or the other. I certainly wish you all the best for a happy future, which we all deserve and should thrive for. But don't let those disappointments drag you down to a point of no return. You, like many of us, belong to a very large club in this world, but we still go on somehow and get stronger as we go. Please keep us posted and keep that head of your's high, and don't give up hope. GOod Luck!

http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/15/15_9_16.gif

You should not spend too much time on why, what, where, she is at and start focusing on what you want. Be honest with yourself. Do you want to really be with a girl who has problems? no. why would you want to be with this girl. I don't know... yes you do. Simple. You want a real girlfriend. Like someone who has less crap going on and can focus on the relationship. So, do you want to be her doctor and help her for a long time? Or do you want another girlfriend who will have few problems to deal with so you can enjoy spending good time with her. You know the answer. Don't you. Yes you can see the light now. Good luck and don't waste time on other peoples problems. My friends here told me that...

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Originally Posted by blueiman

you should not spend to much time on why, what, where, she is at and start focusing on what you want. be honest with yourself. do you want to really be with a girl who has problems? no. why would you want to be with this girl. i dont know... yes you do. simple. you want a real girlfriend. like someone who has less crap going on and can focus on the relationship. so, do you want to be her doctor and help her for a long time? or do you want another gf who will have few problems to deal with so you can enjoy spending good time with her. you know the answer. dont you. yes you can see the light now. good luck and dont waste time on other peoples problems. my friends here told me that...

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http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/36/36_1_11.gifYou finally got it! Congrats. Helping other people is nice, but it should not be a full-time job (unless you work professionally at it - and then there is still time off for you and other things) because life is short and you should have your chance to enjoy it too. Good for both of you!

From a 22 year old female in relationship two years...

It sounds like your girfriend is stringing you along. She is trying to see how far she can push you. She has some self-esteem issues and she knows that you're not going anywhere. It's obvious that you love her so here's what I suggest... Let her go. You only want someone who loves you, and running away or "taking a break" without fully discussing her problems is unfair to you. If she sat down and told you she had problems and discussed them openly with you, you could have supported her emotionally. She wouldn't allow you to do that and now she's just holding on and hurting you. She knows she's hurting you, she's not that stupid. The question you need to ask yourself is Do I deserve this? I was married at 19 and took a "break" from my husband for two weeks. I never called him and I sure as hell didn't give a **** if he went clubbing! I wanted the break because I needed to re-evaluate my life. Your girlfriend got mad at you for "going to the club" because she wants you to feel like ****. It sounds ****ed up but that's how we are. If you feel like ****, she feels better.

GIDGIT75:... y didn't she allow me to discuss her issues with me? Y do all this bull****. She knows I would listen. Why be on a "break" and bee seeing another guy, and deny it. **** y she doing this. Really, Y?? She with another guy just to hurt me? What the heck I called her yesterday to cut the string, and I told her our break is over and I'm leaving her. She was very emotional and was like why are you doing this please don't go, I just wanted space. Then I told her well why u with another guy. She denyed it, even though we both know she is. Does she still have feeling? Y did she call me 5 times after I told her have a good life ciao and hung up on her?

You don't get it do you... you keep saying the same things... just man up and face reality... ITS OVER... her feelings have changed... people change.. if she still had the same feelings for you then you wouldn't be here... It sucks but that's life... you'll get over it trust me.. just takes time... The only way to win her back is to give her the gift of missing you and to leave her alone..

That's what I will do

I remember when I was in your place not too long ago... I would be checking this thing constantly hoping that someone will say something that would make me feel better... give me hope that the relationship isn't over or give me advice to win her her back... I was in hell, it was driving me crazy , I just wanted things to be how they were a month before our break up... But from my experience and the advice others have given me the only thing you can do is act like you don't care and don't contact her.. Cause if you do, your going to push her away for good and then you'll never have another shot. I haven't spoken to my ex in 2 months and I can tell its driving her crazy... I can tell she's been checking my myspace wall reading the comments people leave, etc... It's the hardest thing to do but once you reach around the third week of no contact it gets much easier from there... If you guys were meant to be then she will contact you and realize what she is missing.. You should go out and experiment with other girls now,now that your no longer tied down... Get laid that def helped take my mind off her... Good Luck

Bro, just the thought of her F'ING someone else makes my blood boil... is your girl seeing someone else, or is she single? After 2 months I'm sure she is missing u. do you think she will contact you soon? Its only a month I'm going through this crap, and mine is seeing someone else, and I'm pretty sure she started to see him when she was still with me, and F'ING me. MY BLOOD IS IN CONSTANT BOIL.

Yea a week before we broke up she was acting all weird... kind of pushing me away, didn't want to hang out and one day I caught her in a lie... found out some guy from her work called her at 2 am... after confronting her she told me she wanted a break... so we broke up cause I couldn't take it... found out the b#@ch had been talking with this 31 year old guy who works at the daycare with her and has a kid and she's 22... un f'in believeable... Till this day there still talking... Do I want to kick his ***?? OF course... I would love to just go to her work and beat the living sh#t oout of him... but when I think about it.. its not his fault... I still can't believe how she can just go jump out of a 3 and a half year relationship to having one with some old guy.. I guess that's life... F' her Now I'm moving onto bigger and better things... You should do the same... There not worth it

Seriously man... they're really not worth it... find someone who wants to be with you, it'll be good for you and get your mind off her

Bro, I caught mine just before xmas with the guy she is with now, who's to say from when she was 2 timeing. 2 maybe 3 months ago, and the B#ITCH was still F#CKING me till the end. WHAT THE F#UUUUUUCK!!

Dude's one thing you need to learn from this is it's HOW you make the women FEEL!. you guys did something to push them away to another man's arms. Were guys getting all needy and clingy - calling them 5 times a day?

Women need space - especially as they get older.



Matt - you seem real insecure and jealous - not good. Women HATE that. Hate it!! I am sure you've been a massive NUT BAG in her eyes the last few months - you seem like a HUGE possesive guy - you don't own this women - she is only a SMALL PART OF YOUR LIFE, NOT YOUR LIFE. Until you figure out women are only a small part of your life you will never get it.

You need other things in your in your life. Grow. Be a man. WOmen want confident, independent, NON-needy, NON-jealous, FUNNY - men.

She left you because of you... not her.

I'd leave this gal alone and work on yourself. Youn need to make a lot of changes in your life - workout, hanf with frineds, new hobbies, work harder at work.

I have a feeling you are about to stalker... don't for it. Give her 3 months and then maybe ask her for coffee.