Hey there, Dunnodude, Please, number one thing, stop kicking yourself. You spilled out what was in your heart and perhaps the timing was off but perhaps not. Communication during that time of the holidays seemed pretty messed up but remember there are pay phones, business phones, home based phones she could have used to contact you. You have downgraded yourself several times in your posts. You must have self-love and self-respect. Hold your head up high, knowing you loved and loved well and did all you could.
I think if you and she could visit and end things amicably and definitively, perhaps you could move on more quickly. Seems so much is still up in the air, without being able to talk that it leaves you with still some hope.
My opinion is that if she had a heart for you, she would have found a way to contact you while on break. It appears she cannot do what she needs to do and perhaps it is just immaturity. For whatever the reason, my advice at this point it to make up your mind to "Walk" and "Block"... meaning, decide in your mind you have ended the relationship. Move on to other things. Block thoughts of her and fill your life with things and people that will enhance your life. Best to you!
