As I said- Youth should be light hearted about love.
Learn to wait.
Period.

Well I'm still a bit down I justfind it hard because so many say youshould ralise the signs as my ex has said she was thinking ofbreaking up for a year, well if she was thinking of breaking up for a year why was she talking about getting engaged and being a couple and kids??

I'm justpissed cause well she wasntobviously thinking that butsays she was. She was thinkingweather she should stay or go. I cantstand that someone can sayhow muchthey love you lots then say they have been thinking of the break

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Originally Posted by mckenzie134

Well im still a bit down i justfind it hard because so many say youshould ralise the signs as my ex has said she was thinking ofbreaking up for a year, well if she was thinking of breaking up for a year why was she talking about getting engaged and being a couple and kids????

im justpissed cause well she wasntobviously thinking that butsays she was. she was thinkingweather she should stay or go. I cantstand that someone can sayhow muchthey love you lots then say they have been thinking of the break

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I know how you feel, my ex has done this to me several times, but the effort he put in to get me back made me believe he wasn't playing a game, well its been 6 weeks since he and I talked..

He is now with someone else, and he started talking with her 2 weeks while with me his "soul mate", but I should have known so I deserve to feel like crap. When he started with his lets see less of each other, I get bored easy. I guess he used me for comfort till something more interesting came along. But I will never understand how he or anyone can play with someone, say one thing and do another. Not for this long anyway. Self centered users! I hpe you fell better soon, as we all know it takes time, right?? ( :

Right its taken me 5 months. And to make it worse I hae been feeling better and I just got a text tonight.

ITalking about 18 months ago when she went away for 3 months for uni work.

It red " when i went away too .......... I missed you heaps and loved you so much but i just can't say i feel the same way now"

Why would she even bother saying this... ind you it would have been good for her to express that at the time considering she could never sy I love u...

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Originally Posted by mckenzie134

right its taken me 5 months. and to make it worse i hae been feeling better and i just got a text tonight.

ITalking about 18 months ago when she went away for 3 months for uni work.

It red " when i went away too .......... I missed you heaps and loved you so much but i just can't say i feel the same way now"

why would she even bother saying this... ind you it would have been good for her to express that at the time considering she could never sy i love u...

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I know, I got tons of texts from my ex, along with other things and let him come back, but he is so unstable everyday, like her. It will make you crazy!! I know it does me. And he had to add someone's else to it to, bottom line it was just me, I gues he just didn't want a regular relationship with me... wish he just left me alone then... does she see other people??

I agree with most of your statements. What a lot of jilted lovers don't realize is that often the "dumper" was never really all that invested into the relationship to begin with. Often the "dumpee" was guilty of imputing much more to the "relationship" than was really there. A lot of this results from people accepting an imbalance and accepting the fact that they are investing a lot more into the relationship than the other person. That is why it's important to never allow this to happen. If you find that the person of your affections is backing off, then you back off. Don't give anymore than you receive. That may go against conventional rhetoric, which says that we ought to give more than we receive and that we just ought to give without worrying about receiving. People who don't adopt that philosophy are made to feel guilty and that they're being self-centered. But that's misguided thinking and it's precisely this type of thinking that leads to people getting burned and suffering the resulting emotional fallout. It may sound selfish but it really isn't ; in the beginning stages of a relationship it really is essential to put #1 first. Keep in mind that that's precisely what the "dumper" that broke the "dumpee's" heart was doing. Had the "dumpee" been doing likewise, his/her heart would have been spared and the final outcome may well have been very different.

Delete her texts, delete the confusion. Stop wondering why she does what she does, you already know she wants to get a rise out of you and you let her succeed by reading her texts. You need a project to keep you busier.

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Originally Posted by s_cianci

I agree with most of your statements. What a lot of jilted lovers don't realize is that often the "dumper" was never really all that invested into the relationship to begin with. Often the "dumpee" was guilty of imputing much more to the "relationship" than was really there. A lot of this results from people accepting an imbalance and accepting the fact that they are investing a lot more into the relationship than the other person. That is why it's important to never allow this to happen. If you find that the person of your affections is backing off, then you back off. Don't give anymore than you receive. That may go against conventional rhetoric, which says that we ought to give more than we receive and that we just ought to give without worrying about receiving. People who don't adopt that philosophy are made to feel guilty and that they're being self-centered. But that's misguided thinking and it's precisely this type of thinking that leads to people getting burned and suffering the resulting emotional fallout. It may sound selfish but it really isn't ; in the beginning stages of a relationship it really is essential to put #1 first. Keep in mind that that's precisely what the "dumper" that broke the "dumpee's" heart was doing. Had the "dumpee" been doing likewise, his/her heart would have been spared and the final outcome may well have been very different.

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So true... once you realize they are not as into it as they were or as your you should back off and leave... I know I put waaaayyyy too much effort into someone who didn't. But I thought him always coming back with such intensity meant something, or was enough... never again. 12 yrs you think you had something meaningful, forget it. You get what you give is a great saying that I will live by.im a giver by nature, its who I am, I trust people too much, snd I wish I wasn't bitter but I have to change my ways too...

Yeah I think it is time to end the confusion too and end whatever it is that is lingering around that is causing you so much pain.
It isn't helping you to move on.

All your posts revolved around her. What she is thinking. What she said / says. What she is thinking and how she will react to your actions.

Franky. Who in the hell cares now. It isn't about her. It is about you and you moving on from her.

Can't you see that focusing all this energy on her isn't helping you move on? IT is just causing you so much confusion.

What her motives were or are for breaking up with you are irrelevant now. The only relevant fact is that she is in your past now and she should be left there. It is easier than you think to ignore her messages, emails, calls etc. You just have to want to do it. And at the moment I'm not sure you want to leave her behind.

I don't want to leave her behind but nothat I should. I hear how some people were more invested and honestly ahe was more invested than me she rang and wanted to see me all the time right to the break. Butwhen she said break it all changed around. Great

Well perhaps she realised this and realised that it was unhealthy and unbalanced. Perhaps she didn't like the fact that she had more invested in it and you continued to pull back. Perhaps when she realised this she decided that it was time to get out before she invested anymore.

Whatever her reasons were doesn't really matter. She is gone and more than likely you will never have her back. Whether you want to leave her behind or not is not really relevant. You can't make someone love you.

I am afraid skell you have no chance in beating me. Chuff and me have something going on
; ) However I am open to bribes...

I think this works for guys. What about for girls? What if you break up with sum1 because you were pissed at dt moment.bt you didn't really wnt to.but its bin a long time nw.know the victim will do what you advised. What is the right thing to do

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Originally Posted by mckenzie134

CAN YOU WIN HER BACK?


NO action required. It's only her that determines that...the less you do. the more you do. reallyIf everyone here followed this maybe more would find they do get there ex back!!!

And maybe even more will find out that they wont be coming back alot quicker than hanging around delaying the inevitavle.

Confused is a word used alot in many threads, really the only one confused is you, confusing yourself trying to work out what why or how things went wrong and how could they do this.

Simple they arnt that into you anymore, but to many people who get dumped just can't understand why and really some times there is no explanation except the dumper does not want you and whatever they said in the past is irrelevant only today counts, and yes they can be upset and i tell you what in many situations if you had of dumped them one day before you got dumped there world would have folded and they would probly be on here. So the best thing to do is walk away straight away and turn you being dumped into them being dumped as well. Put them in your shoes dont let them have a fall bak. Tell them if thats what they want you can't wait!!! and definately dont listen to there crap if you loved me you would wait, reply with " If you loved me you wouldnt need a break!!!

Its that simple!!!!


Wish itwas though so hard to do this, but its the correct way, Why wait on someone who needs to think about weather they want to be with you!!!!

Makes you look like a loser when you think about it and no one wants to be with someone like that so whaen someone is deciding on you help them out!!!!

Dont let them decide your better than that, HEll they arnt the decision maker and as soon as they think you are as soon as someone better comes along they will once again yhave to take a break and make a decision!!!!

Never wait NEVER and always let them know everything is fine and you will be ok. DONT EVER CALL!!!!!!EVER EVER

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Don't call ,but do you let them call you? Even if it hurts like hell and want to hear from them and when you do its like picking scabs from the wound? Sorry to be dramatic

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Originally Posted by a1b2

i think this works for guys. wot about for girls? wot if u break up with sum1 cus u were pissed at dt moment.bt u didnt really wnt to.but its bin a long time nw.know the victim will do wot u advised. wot is the right thing to do

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You can't just break up with someone out of anger, and expect them to come crawling back like nothing happened. Who with any selfrespect puts up with that?? Control your temper, or suffer the consequenses.

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Originally Posted by talaniman

You can't just break up with someone out of anger, and expect them to come crawling back like nothing happened. Who with any selfrespect puts up with that??? Control your temper, or suffer the consequenses.

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It wasn't rili out of anger just out of being fedup with the whole stuff at dt moment.its a long story,would plead with you to read the story I posted a while ago sometime last month,with the titles "should i call my ex bf of 4 months",and "does my ex bf of 4 months still luv mi". Will really appreciate it if you let mi know your views on the questions.thanks

Quote:

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Originally Posted by mckenzie134

CAN YOU WIN HER BACK?


NO action required. It's only her that determines that...the less you do. the more you do. reallyIf everyone here followed this maybe more would find they do get there ex back!!!

And maybe even more will find out that they wont be coming back alot quicker than hanging around delaying the inevitavle.

Confused is a word used alot in many threads, really the only one confused is you, confusing yourself trying to work out what why or how things went wrong and how could they do this.

Simple they arnt that into you anymore, but to many people who get dumped just can't understand why and really some times there is no explanation except the dumper does not want you and whatever they said in the past is irrelevant only today counts, and yes they can be upset and i tell you what in many situations if you had of dumped them one day before you got dumped there world would have folded and they would probly be on here. So the best thing to do is walk away straight away and turn you being dumped into them being dumped as well. Put them in your shoes dont let them have a fall bak. Tell them if thats what they want you can't wait!!! and definately dont listen to there crap if you loved me you would wait, reply with " If you loved me you wouldnt need a break!!!

Its that simple!!!!


Wish itwas though so hard to do this, but its the correct way, Why wait on someone who needs to think about weather they want to be with you!!!!

Makes you look like a loser when you think about it and no one wants to be with someone like that so whaen someone is deciding on you help them out!!!!

Dont let them decide your better than that, HEll they arnt the decision maker and as soon as they think you are as soon as someone better comes along they will once again yhave to take a break and make a decision!!!!

Never wait NEVER and always let them know everything is fine and you will be ok. DONT EVER CALL!!!!!!EVER EVER

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this is a very brilliant stuff,but I want to know what works for girls, could you read the two questions I posted last month and let me know your views on them.the titles are "should i call my ex bf of 4 months" and "does my ex bf of 4 months still luv me?".thanks