Ask Me Help Desk - My Ex girlfriend wants to come back after 3 1/2 months what should I do?

Well here goes we ended up going out last night for some drinks with some friends and all had a good night. We ended up back at my place and she styed the night. She said she wanted to feel me and well I was a bit hesitant but we ended up going for it anyway. She said she had just needed some time (last 3 1/2 months) to work on herselfand said she was happy that she was more dependent bu missed having me and her life and wanted to see how things go. I said well I've enjoyed the time we spent aprt and have done some things for myself and I'm not exactly ready to rush back into things. I told her 6 months ago I loved you so much but after yourve done all this I'm not sure what's going to happen. Itold her it would be easy to go back to being a couple but am not interested inon and off relationships. She said wel she's sorry but needed to figure out how she felt and she said she justrealise she doesn't want to lose me from her life and I am her best friend and she said its up to you but maybe we can just see how things go for a while. And I said well thsats a good idea Then in the morning I said I had somewhere to be so I dropped her off home gave he a kiss and said bye. So I guess we a rekinda on but ill have to take it slow and see where it takes me I guess. Geez taliman might be right sometimes its easier to just walk away. And if she does come back saying she loves me I would be thinking clearer and no what she wants.

Also Talaniman I don't think I have made much progress in the last 3 months. I now no it would have been in my best interest to walk away from the beginning and leave it me and wait it out. Either way I would have got a clear response what she wanted. All I got in the mean time was her talking dirty on the phone , a one night stand where she told me she had never felt this great to be with me and plenty of uncertainty. How could she say to me one night I haven't felt this good in a long time and then few days later say well I'm not your girl now?? I have looked back on my posts and realise I have been going around in circles for 3 months and still am. I myself may have created all this uncertainty in her every time she did start to miss me I was contacting her which led to more confusion not only for me but for her as well. Which still shows me from my first post I am still left her in in confusion and just after last night this could go on for another 3 months..

I think its time for me to tell her its enough. Its so hard to let someone go from your life who means so much to you what if in another year I regret it, and want her back or want to try again??

She would have certainly lost any feelings she had for me by then wouldn't she??

I realise I'm still on here and still getting your advice and still chasing my tail.

Ill move on with my life which I have put on hold for 3 months and move on now. If I try again and get hurt again where will that leave me. I'm so mad at her case the relationship was going smoothly and she did this. Even after a month apart I wrote in one of my posts how she said she could so easily go back to being a couple with me but it wasn't that easy like that.

Thanks for that reminder Talaniman NO Contact and letting her know what I'm going to do is what I will do now I suppose. Any how after last night I was thinking well we will give it a go. My biggest problem is she is so attractive and I find it hard to let go of that. THANKS.

I know exactly what you're saying - it's really easy to give advice here and the majority of it is good. But at least in my case I think waaaaaay more with my heart than with my head and 99% of the time I'm not like that -only adding to my confusion. Easier to give advice than to take it right?

I've stopped contacting my EX, and left it to her. I know that she's making friends (other guys) and there's nothing I can do about it - I've tried to fight for her but it's not what she wants right now. I even went as far to send her flowers earlier last week and she never even called me to thank me, of course my final message to her yesterday was that I understand it may be difficult for her to contact me right now - and she knows how to get in touch with me if she wants.

Relax Mac, and see what happens. Your both confused.

Im relaxed now will leave it up to her and work on myself for a few weeks, dowhat I should have done long ao but couldn't...

Just continue seeing each other casually and have a good time... No more pressure from here and on... You both need a few good moments together... Maybe that will help the confusion. Try not focusing on the problem, instead try fixing it. And avoid sex for a while. Hopefully she doesn't only want that. Good luck my friend!

Man! I feel for dog! Me and my girl broke up of 7yrs and she took every thing my dreams my hope for her you know, and I too wish there's a day she will see that I was the one for her but what can you do? Now that she left me I have more money and my own place pimp out! But? I still hurt and feel the pain so I use it and work out my hardst and look good for myself, but think you should give it a chance you can never tell,but,but leave a little space in your heart that she might do it again? And if you do get back together? Change it up a little do things you'll never think of doing like shooting each other with paint balls or something

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Originally Posted by Righthearted

I know exactly what you're saying - it's really easy to give advice here and the majority of it is good. But at least in my case I think waaaaaay more with my heart than with my head and 99% of the time I'm not like that -only adding to my confusion. Easier to give advice than to take it right?

Righthearted, you are so right, I am the same way. It's so easy to follow your heart than with your head. They say your brain can overcome anything, but your heart wants what the heart wants, and it takes time for the heart to heal. Listening to your heart can cause a lot of confusion, and you can dwell on things for a long time.

Even though giving advice is a lot easier than taking it, it helps you heel by giving insight to others and hopefully helping others find the strength to move on. We all must remember to hang in there and better days are ahead.

I'm going through the same thing as the mckenzie and reading what he is going through and the comments he is receiving I feel like a complete idiot always taken my girl back every time she wants time and I'm trying to get married and have kids. My boy am broken up now and I'm glad I got on here Google this question to hear these responses it really help me its not going to be easy but I'm going to do it can't keep hoping I need to know am 32.