Remember my ex used to lie and say she was asleep and yet she would go out... she even said she did that a lot one time when she was mad so I know she did it a lot. Lot. That's hurtful... She would curse me out and call me an and the worst boyfriend in public and swing at me. Once she got a text and I saw her hiding it so I said who is that... when I checked she had deleted it.. then I was mad and she started crying saying I deserve better. And that I should leave her house... strange... I said I'm done with us but she said no don't. So I stood. I was always afraid of moving in with her because I would think whenever she was mad she would slam a door really hard. She used to slam the door to my car a lot really hard! I liked the sex though and the fact that she kept me busy and we did lots of things. I just loved her. Weird thing is she was very jealous... I couldn't have a magazine with a girl on the cover or she would get mad. What's strange is that as jealous as she was she tried to be cool with the porn as 3 occasions she tried watching it together with me so that was cool. Once my dad had a victoria secrets commercial on and she walked out because I was looking at it. She used to put her middle finger at me and disrespect me but yet at other times was kind of nice with me. She would smoke even though I didn't like it. And try to hide it. I told her not to worry about it but at least admit it... but she wudnt so I'd get mad whenever I found out. She was jealous of my girl cousin all the time. What's funny is that I had a family sleep over and she didn't want to go because my girl cousin. So when I went I called her to make sure she is okay and to tell her everything is fine... her fone was off and she was out. That's when we first broke up. Then she met her new boyfriend at that church she went to behind my back so I guess that's y she left me... n history repeated itself... she sneaked again!

Groundhog Day... :rolleyes:

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Originally Posted by friend4u178

Groundhog Day.................. :rolleyes:

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I love that movie. :)

Emo, you're bored again. :rolleyes:

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Originally Posted by friend4u178

Groundhog Day.................. :rolleyes:

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I had to spread the rep M.

Emo, rent Groundhog Day the movie, you're living it right now. Replaying the same day over and over and over and over again.

We know what she did to you, you already told us, numerous times. We've already told you to move on, numerous times. You're not telling us anything new. Maybe that's why new people coming to this thread are so confused.

How many times are you going to tell us the same story? When are you going to let it go, realize that what happened doesn't matter, it's what you do now that does.

Well look at it this way... NOBODY should have to put up with that sort of thing. Man or Woman. Anyone who stays with a person who acts like that towards them deserves what they get. If you choose to stay in such a situation then you forfeit any right to complain about it.

If you want to learn from lifes mistakes... (and this IS one of those) you have to put it behind you and move on to the next person. When it is truly in the past, THEN and only then can you revisit it in order to remember the lessons learned.

Anyone who dates a paranoid, control freak has to make a choice. And there really are only two choices.

#1 - Leave because you are better than they are.

#2 - Stay and put up with it because you can't do any better for yourself.

If you keep going back and forth... that counts as choice #2.

You have to decide if you deserve better or not.

My brother told me his girlfriends brother who is my exs brother is graduating today. I was thinking of going to the dinner and surprise everyone and my ex and show up well dressed with my new clothes and cologne and haircut. It would be great to show her I'm doing good without her. My bro also said she still doesn't hang out with the family and is always out and she is probably with a new guy all the time now. It's sick!!

What would going accomplish? You would look more like the stalker to be honest, showing up at her family dinner. Not to mention, how are you showing her you're doing good by showing up all dressed up? She's not going to take it that way

How will she take it? But yeah I'm not going. You are right. It won't accomplish anything. Thanks Rome.

She will look at it as, wow what a loser, he got all dressed up to come see me

WHY do you insist on reinserting yourself back into the mess with her?

Do you enjoy her belittling, lies and general B.S.

What it does make you look like is a desperate loser crawling back.

In fact anything that puts YOU back into HER circle makes you look like you are crawling back asking for more.

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Originally Posted by emopunk7

My brother told me his girlfriends brother who is my exs brother is graduating today. I was thinking of going to the dinner and surprise everyone and my ex and show up well dressed with my new clothes and cologne and haircut. It would be great to show her I'm doing good without her. My bro also said she still doesn't hang out with the family and is always out and she is probably with a new guy all the time now. It's sick!!!

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Why is it sick that she's with a new guy? She's single, available. What she does with her time now is no concern of yours. The fact that you're thinking about it is sick.

As for going to the dinner, all that's going to accomplish is showing her that you aren't over her, that you still want to impress her. Stay home!

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Originally Posted by emopunk7

My bro also said she still doesn't hang out with the family and is always out and she is probably with a new guy all the time now. It's sick!!!

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Do you need to reset the NC clock? Getting 'news' about her through your brother is not good. It needs to be put under "I won't ask. Please don't tell me."

Live your life. Don't think about her's.

Wrong motive emopunk, now you're really trying to show your ex how strong and manly you are after being trashed by her. Its not the way, not showing her and let her discover(never) you are not a guy that can be played by a fool.

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Originally Posted by Cat1864

Do you need to reset the NC clock? Getting 'news' about her through your brother is not good. It needs to be put under "I won't ask. Please don't tell me."

Live your life. Don't think about her's.

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Maybe he should just marry her and QUIETLY put up with her abuse since he seems to enjoy it so much that he keeps going back for more.

And yes... what the OP is doing is going back to the well for another drink. He's only pretending to do the No Contact thing. Getting the info through a third party is really no different than getting it yourself.

And Emopunk7... A Heroin addict is still a heroin addict no matter how they get the drug... you can't say you beat the addiction if you just exchange the needle for smoking or snorting the drug.

You lose the right to complain about a situation if you keep walking back into it by choice.

I didn't go and I said I wasn't. Thanks Amicon, BSCW, Altenweg, Cat, Romefalls19, and Smoothy for the rescue though!! You guys rock! So does this site!

Well, that's good to hear... if the thought ever does enter your mind, remember what we told you. The longer you keep up N/C and avoid even thinking about her, the quicker she will become just a bad memory.

There are plenty of the really nice women around without issues to even think obout wasting time with the ones with numerous issues they haven't even begun to deal with yet.

Nobody needs a "project". They need a partner. And like we said and you already know... many of us have learned these lessons the hard way and wasted years of our lives for nothing. If we can pass on what we have learned it will save others from making the same mistakes.

Keep it up emo, technically I wasted 3 years, but its what I learn and what I will be in the future that counts. You've wasted 4 years as a doormat, now just let the other guy be the doormat OK?

I feel so alone... sometimes I miss her or think of the bad stuff she did and sometimes I don't miss her and then I wonder if its my fault and why did it go this route. What could have been different. I feel a bit down the pass 2 days. Help...

Emo, get up, go for a walk, make a pie, watch your favorite movie, call a friend and go out, do laundry, fold laundry, just do something other then thinking about her.

I have one question for you. Have you read your posts? Do you really remember what she did? No? Read your posts. After you read them ask yourself this question "Is she worth thinking about? Is she worth being upset about? Is she worth being lonely over?"

I bet she isn't. So why are you giving her so much power? Stop it! Take the power back. Only you can change this.

Now go bake that pie! Send a slice to me. :)

Hi Emo,

I'm not sure if others have mention this, but here goes.

It should be obvious to you that you're constantly going to have questions about the past. Sometimes you'll get the answer and sometimes it's still left unanswered.

But what you should ask yourself is, are the answers that important? I say this because, every single person in this world is different, so any interaction is going to differ from person to person. All the answers that you seek are only relevant in terms of the interactions that you have with your ex. It's not going to be exactly the same situation with any other person. So unless you want to get back with your ex one day, do the answers really matter?

I'd say, quit beating yourself up and take some of Alty's advice about doing something else to distract yourself.