I went through almost the same situation quite recently, (why I just became a member to this site.. and saw your question through searches). I just want to say that I think you did your best to give her your all, and now you deserve to give the same to yourself. (Maybe I should take some of m y own advice.) Im going through the same immense guilt myself.. except I was the one who ended it. I had one who would tell me grand fantasies about how much he loved me and what we would do.. to never show me in action. To this day I wondered why he wouldn't come and visit someone who was so important to him... anyway.

As an artist myself keep going with your art and never stop, its very theraputic, and will help you through the hardest times. I know it's been my best friend.

*ahem* Now forgive me for what I'm about to say, but, take it as a compliment from a young lady. It sounds like you're a great catch! I would have loved to have a guy jump out of his seat and book a flight just to see me, or be with me through a hard time. (Mine never did.)

So, don't give up. Keep healing.