Its OK to say that but it sounds like you still want her back. I had my girlfriend leave for a reason she said was after 3 years she just isn't ready at 22 for a relationship like we have. That's a load of crap maybe my girlfriend wasn't ready good it took her 3 years to work that out. If she rang you and wanted you back you would go back I know that.

I wouldn't just take her back..
She would have to have some pretty good arguments, she's put me through the ringer over the last month, the feelings I've felt in that time are very hard to forget.
It would take A lot of convincing from her for me to take her back...

I'm doing well without her, so no I wouldn't just take her back if she asked, there's a better chance id say no

Well he already answered the question.

How do you not know what I'm talking about, aren't you guys the experts?

Here, let me speak in your language,

Basically, in the beginning I was told that this response was wrong, " until she comes running back, begging for you back!"

Yet this in no way states that having NC is GOING to get her back for him.

This only states that after he does the NC, maybe she will then see what she did was completely wrong, thus the quote:"until she comes running back, begging for you back."

How is that hard to understand?

But anyway its pretty much over with now I already seen his answer, alls he wants is to move on so he's pretty much done with her.

So what I said doesn't matter anymore.

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Originally Posted by where did i go wrong

i wouldnt just take her back..
she would have to have some pretty good arguments, she's put me through the ringer over the last month, the feelings ive felt in that time are very hard to forget.
it would take ALOT of convincing from her for me to take her back...

im doing well without her, so no i wouldnt just take her back if she asked, theres a better chance id say no

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But this is something I've been thinking about for a while now, think this through carefully,

Do you love the girl? And if yes, what if she does come back?

Why wouldn't you take her back? Is it still because you're mad at her because of what she did? If so, don't you think that you're kind of still holding a grudge? Or do you think its justification for what she did to you?-> but wouldn't that be revenge?

Say you saw it in her eyes and she was on her knees begging to make it work (just a thought) would you take her back out of pitty,or love? Or would you not take her back at all? And say you guys made it work and this SAME THING HAPPENED AGAIN, what would you do then? Would you still listen to us and do the same thing or would you keep trying to make it work?

I just want to know what you would do if you were in a crazy situation like that.

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Originally Posted by alizeblu

but this is something ive been thinking about for a while now, think this through carefully,

do you love the girl? and if yes, what if she does come back?

why wouldnt you take her back? is it still because youre mad at her because of what she did? if so, dont you think that youre kind of still holding a grudge? or do you think its justification for what she did to you?-> but wouldnt that be revenge?

say you saw it in her eyes and she was on her knees begging to make it work (just a thought) would you take her back out of pitty,or love? or would you not take her back at all? and say you guys made it work and this SAME THING HAPPENED AGAIN, what would you do then? would you still listen to us and do the same thing or would you keep trying to make it work?

i just wanna know what you would do if you were in a crazy situation like that.

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As I said in my previous post, she would have to have some bloody good arguments... and I would probably need time to think it through, and in that time post here and see what everyone thinks!. but there's no point in speculating because its not going to happen... (unless alizeblu, you are really her, trying to give me a message!)

I did love her, I don't know if I do anymore, I mean, what's the point? It like being in love with a wall!

Lol oh trust me, I'm not her, lol. But if that's what you feel then you are absolutley right, you don't need us telling you what to do, you already knew what you had to do, as you know her 10 times better then any of us do.

We just try that's all we can do is try. We try, and ultimatley someone gives up.

I don't know, some people are strong some are weak, she was weak, and you don't want that.

So pretty much your answer to me was, she would have alotta explaining to do, right?

So I guess in the end it would have never worked in the 1st place, which leaves me with the same conclusion, why try in the 1st place, if you already know the outcome.

If I was you, I wouldn't put up with "love" any more, id stay single. Its more fun and you have more fun, no strings attached no nothing.

You only worry about yourself, and don't have to go through all the pain of a break up.

You know what I'm saying?

The whole point of being healthy is to be able to make decisions such as these, not just follow your heart, or go with the flow. That's exactly why people come here for answers. Once you accept the way it is and move on isn't it amazing how so few ever look back? where did i go wrong, I think your coming out of the gloom and seeing reality as it really is without the emotional blinders. Your starting to sound very rational and thoughtful.

Bottom line...

Loves like a roller coaster, it has its ups, it has its downs, shiz, maybe even some loopty loops, but eventually, like all things, it has to come to a complete stop, and eventually you got to get off and let other people ride.

But I'm not going to be bored with the same roller coaster for the rest of my life, which is why I'm pretty sure loves just a sham, to keep people in check. So the ones up there with power and money, that know better, stay with that power and money.

I mean common, haven't you ever noticed that love not only clouds your judgement, but steals years away from you, when you couldve been improving on being that doctor you were trying to be? It messes with your head! You can't study, so your school works late, leaving your education in jeapordy.

And eventually putting you back where you started in the 1st place. Its not meant for the young. Only the people with more experience.

But I still think that its just an illusion.

In a way alizeblu I actually agree with what your saying about how love is not meant to be for the young. However love can fade, people break up, love succeeds at whatever age you are whether young or old.

Life is a journey, we constantly learn from it. Our relationships when we are young give us that vital experience we need for the future - to learn, to understand what we want, who we want, what it means to be in a relationship and who knows maybe even great friends after the healing period.

I think it is key that as young people i.e. Teenage to late 20's (that I will class as young, there are some 20 year olds who are more mature than 30 something's I am sure)
We are constantly striving for some sense of purpose, what life is all about and it is important to have relationships - to learn.

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and eventually putting you back where you started in the 1st place. Its not meant for the young. Only the people with more experience.

But I still think that its just an illusion.

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Only by living can we gain experience. Some learn more quick than others.

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it just sucks that we have to learn over and over to finally understand something. That's why I'm done with love.

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One day you'll get it and be surprised at what you can get. Love starts with you.

And ends with me.

Its all in the eye of the beholder.

People keep searching, people stop searching.

Its just how it is.

We give advice on our age levels, intellectual levels, and maturity levels, people agree people disagree, eventually there's always 1 answer no matter what.

No matter how you look at it.

Keep running, or stop the race.

Your choice.

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Originally Posted by diya

There is NO harm in knowing why she did it...then the choice is still yours.....trust me you will feel better...relationships are hard to make and easy to break.....so give her a chance to explain herself

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I just want to suggest being careful... Curiosity can be a dangerous thing. Sometimes your better off not knowing things that they haven't told you. Don't think of it as them lying to you, they are just saving you undue pain.

Im NOT saying your ex is hiding anything, just make sure your prepared to hear ANYTHING.

EDIT--

Oops, thought I was on the last page, apparently that post was a little older than I thought. We'll either way, my opinion stands, thought it appears its not really relevant to your thoughts anymore :)

Hey I got a question, why are relationships hard to make and easy to break? Hm?

You have that backwards, they are so easy to make, but the break-up is hard, as evidenced by this forum. For one what looks good, ain't good for you, but so called love, blinds you to the bad part,s and your expectations are high and sometimes so unrealistic. That's why we think it will last forever. In the beginning 99% of us don't know what love is, or how to love. Then boom its over one day, and you know the turmoil that causes. Especially hard on the first timers.

Just stay away from her if you its to early to be friends with her she prob. Does just want to see if she had control over you she prob. Wants to have her cake and eat it 2 girls r scandalous trust me I should know ! Good luck but follow most peoples advice don't call her start a new life without her is will be the best for everyone in the long run

DO NOT RESPOND TO HER!

She is trying to see if she still has control of your emotions. This is a tactic usually used when the partner wants you to remain in casse of failure in another relationship(s). She will use you just to be the one who she keeps running back to. Basically she wants to get to your mind in order to play games but to keep you feeling that she wants you to benefit herself.

I also believe she is trying to keep foot in door in case another relationship doesn't pan out or can't find no one. I believe now that's what my ex always did to me 5-6 times. Play mind games with me. But I agree with Tal No NC you need to heal. I never let myself heal(didn't want to) in the 5 times she broke up with me. And maybe if I did let myself heal I would have thought more clearly that my relationship wasn't going to work with her.