Ask Me Help Desk - Help to live for 8 days

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Originally Posted by sean_s

no idea...

When you succumbed, you played right into her hands. She isn't interested any longer but wants to find out if you are -- and if you are still panting after her and missing her.

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no, no one has to be at fault, but the worst case is I am at fault. So I start with that, until , figuratively, I am proven to be not faulty.

Let's say no one was at fault. Could you live with that?

But are there things about you that need tweaking before another love adventure, so that you can give the relationship the honesty and validity it deserves?

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Originally Posted by Wondergirl

and if you are still panting after her and missing her.

Indeed...

She kept on commenting, I kept on casually responding like a normal person in the net whom I never met..

Then I posted the comment copying her own message , and she stopped...

Indeed... she was probably waiting for me to post that particular comment..
So I guess she feels good I guess to know someone loved her and misses her or?.

Speaking of it, my immediate response to the breakup was this:
http://www.experienceproject.com/stories/Hate-Being-Lied-To/2179429
She did not bother to comment on this - does not this automatically show that I am hurt??

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Originally Posted by Wondergirl

Let's say no one was at fault. Could you live with that?

Well, I will take that as an axiom

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Originally Posted by Wondergirl

But are there things about you that need tweaking before another love adventure, so that you can give the relationship the honesty and validity it deserves?

If that relationship give me the integrity, then sure, of course...

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Originally Posted by joypulv

You know, I had interested my self in a stupid mexican...

You say you don't get angry. Contempt then. There are sides to you that aren't apparent at first, and they are just as ignoble and flawed as the rest of us.

Indeed there are, but anger is not one of them. I call her stupid, because she uses those arguments to cry on my shoulder, which she used to go away from me :)

I feel like a lot of us here have adopted you. Are you still there?

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Originally Posted by joypulv

I feel like a lot of us here have adopted you. Are you still there?

I am and I am preparing for my ordeal today...

If you are that decided, I hope you find what you were looking for.

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Originally Posted by mmresd

If you are that decided, I hope you find what you were looking for.

that decided in what?

you know I am confused. Some tell me I should keep on my Modus Operandi, so I keep on defining miilimetergenau what I want, and some tell me I have to relax, so I am relaxed, and people say I first have to find myself etcetc.

Yet one more reason to find someone with whom I can share my life.

People are picking me up of being 22, but trust me, I have a challenging life. On 19th I will meet some people from the Lunar Exploration and Analysis Group. Today, is my ordeal of showing internally what my concept to present to them is. 50%of that ordeal is done, 50% will be done soon. With that, I have quite well decided what I am going to tell them. The presentation handouts are individually made for each people, keeping in mind the color schemes, the font format etc they use in there websites.. or any information you could find. Yes in certain case, I am that precise. Yet, in certain case, I fall in an endless loop, and if I randomly come out, ît is a fehl decision.

I wish there was someone, with whom I could share my challenge (they don't need to participate actively), my passions, and my wins..

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Originally Posted by sean_s

Yet one more reason to find someone with whom i can share my life ... I wish there was someone, with whom i could share my challenge (they dont need to participate actively), my passions, and my wins..

We're here to share. :)

First, your duty is to yourself. How is that progressing?

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Originally Posted by Wondergirl

We're here to share. :)

First, your duty is to yourself. How is that progressing?

To myself: I am totally lost. Nothing makes any more sense. I completed the target assigned to me,in a somehwat dirty manner,but I did. So what??

Take a break, relax, look around at all the things you have missed, neglected, or dismissed, and formulate a plan to put your head back together, and the life you will lead, without her, but this time, for yourself and your own happiness.

I don't know what to do is not an excuse, as it only takes a reasonable thought. Its supposed to be a hard process. Self motivation is a important, and high value skill to develop, as you have already been taught.

Wrapping the reason for your existence around the feelings and actions of another, was always a losing, self defeating proposition, but you did it any way. Now you have to correct the thinking behind YOUR actions. FACTS, and not just hard to cope with intense feelings are how you go about the next decisions that you make, so make sure you use only serious reasonable thought to come to that decision.

For me its so simple, get ready for the NEXT challenge, opportunity, or event to explore, and experience. But then, I have had a lot of practice, and know the rules, and routine of self motivation.

Thank you, but the whole statement is like pushing the button on the remote harder and harder when it is not working. I know what self motivation is, and applied it in at least *some* cases in my life.

The reason I am here is because life is pointless for me know, and I can not motivate myself for anything. I am making the mistakes which I always hated and so on. Therefore saying "get a plan" won't work. Trust me, I have a million plans well written in my desk, and with a large redundancy support, so if one plan goes wrong I can use the other.

I can not relax, I am smoking 40 grams of virginia crossroads every day, and can not sleep, and if I try to sleep, I am crying.

Of things I missed or neglected for her, there is nothing I can pick up like that, as those lines are typed. In fact, I don't have a list of what I MISSED. I have a list of what I PAID.

Of my happiness, if I don't at all have a point of life , how can I have a happy life. I am working, but the success of that tastes like what I presume to be my own... It feels disgusting. Really. There is no point conquering a challenge. (heh she used to call me her conquistador).

I wanted to go to Austria to see Sabina, someone I know, and I could not. I was depressed work had to be done, and I was slow, unproductive. I wanted to take a break anyway, about a ticket, sat on the bus, and felt miserable , and came down from the bus.

I am deeply depressed, I just am rolling into a ball and crying. I can not work at all, in any direction. Really.

Good grief! I'm a female (you know, one of those fragile, emotional creatures) and have been disappointed in love many times, but never fell into those depths of self pity where you seem to be wallowing! Now I want to take you by your shoulders and shake some sense into you. Plus, I'm the site Lead Editor and want to correct the spelling in your posts. Maybe I'll start getting rough with you... We Teutonic types don't usually suffer fools gladly. And yes, you're being foolish.

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Originally Posted by Wondergirl

Good grief! I'm a female (you know, one of those fragile, emotional creatures) and have been disappointed in love many times, but never fell into those depths of self pity where you seem to be wallowing!

Well, congratulations! ;) besides, I just note you say you were disappointed. I isn't disappointed. I'm broke.

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Originally Posted by Wondergirl

Now I want to take you by your shoulders and shake some sense into you.

See above post maybe, please?

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Originally Posted by Wondergirl

Plus, I'm the site Lead Editor and want to correct the spelling in your posts.

Please do.

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Originally Posted by Wondergirl

Maybe I'll start getting rough with you.... We Teutonic types don't usually suffer fools gladly. And yes, you're being foolish.

I .K.N.O.W. that. If knowing that solved the problem, do you think I would keep on posting here, or would I accept the task of calculating the effects on solar wind in Mare Serenitatis?

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Originally Posted by sean_s

would I accept the task of calculating the effects on solar wind in Mare Serenitatis?

You would be more productive doing that. Let me know what you decide is the speed, so I can plan my wind-surfing expedition.

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Originally Posted by Wondergirl

You would be more productive doing that. Let me know what you decide is the speed, so I can plan my wind-surfing expedition.

I am afraid the wind in Mare Serenitatis would take about a year to bring your surfboard to the acceleration you are looking for.

I'm easy. And patient. I can wait.

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Originally Posted by Wondergirl

I'm easy. And patient. I can wait.

Okay, will tell you when I can actually convince myself with a reason for doing it.

A reason for calculating the wind speed on that mare -- or something else?

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Originally Posted by Wondergirl

A reason for calculating the wind speed on that mare -- or something else?

A reason for calculating the effects of solar wind on the electric charging of micrometeorite particles on Mare Serenitatis on the near side of Earth's moon

"On the near side of Earth's moon" is redundant with Mare Serenitatis.

Hello sean, at 100 posts your question has been addressed by many of the best people on this question and answer site ( I have read the entire thread), the answers of which you don't seem to want to hear, or your not happy with the responses.

If you wish to discuss science there is a very good forum on askmehelpdesk for that specific topic.

As for my 2 cents, may I suggest some councilling.

The science is very much a part of the therapy on this thread.

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Originally Posted by Wondergirl

"On the near side of Earth's moon" is redundant with Mare Serenitatis.

Hehe, Mare Serenitatis is a formation on moon, and the question "where in moon in Mare Serenitatis" can be roughly answered with "in the near side."

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Originally Posted by sean_s

hehe, Mare Serenitatis is a formation on moon, and the question "where in moon in Mare Serenitatis" can be roughly answered with "in the near side "

But if you say Mare Serenitatis, your listeners/readers already know it's on the near side. It's like saying "tooth dentist."

Do you feel mentally engaged?

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Originally Posted by redhed35

hello sean, at 100 posts your question has been addressed by many of the best people on this question and answer site ( I have read the entire thread),

I am thankful about it

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Originally Posted by redhed35

the answers of which you dont seem to want to hear, or your not happy with the responses.

I am trying to focus on the fact that I did some of the ritual, but it did not help. So I am in search of a radical solution.

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Originally Posted by redhed35

if you wish to discuss science there is a very good forum on askmehelpdesk for that specific topic.

as for my 2 cents, may i suggest some councilling.

I went to the doctor, the first one suggested anti-depession medicine. But because I have been working the last few days under anti-pain, I was not really willing to jump to anti-depressives, hence I wanted to give here and in other help websites a try as well.

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Originally Posted by Wondergirl

But if you say Mare Serenitatis, your listeners/readers already know it's on the near side. It's like saying "tooth dentist."

Do you feel mentally engaged?

Tooth dentist, hehehehehehehe nice term...

Before the breakup, I did - it was a goal I wanted BADLY to achieve. I worked without food, with anti-pain medicine. After the breakup, I am doing it, because... I don't know, I just kept on doing it. But today after submitting the primary reports, I feel totally resourceless. My mind is not any more functioning. I formulas describing the patterns that form on granular fluid appear like the stupid sketch marks in a child's sketchbook. Meaningless.

Es schmekt mir gar nicht mehr -it does not taste me any more - those formulas, for which I worked, redefined part of topology, skipped a lot of things, without any question - I just lost the taste in it.

As I already mentioned, I am making the mistakes which I hated.

There is no radical solution, you are the same as every other person with a broken heart, no more no less, there are thousands of posts here on the matter, some cope better then others, you obviously have found a way to cope in the form of chat websites, getting opinions on the matter, amdh is NOT chat website nor a therapy playground.

Again I suggest professional face to face councilling, you may not need medication, just someone to guide you through the process, and be on hand should you require some additional support in the form of medication.

I don't see the dialog between OP and Wondergirl as chat. I see lots of 'answers' in what they are saying.

SYou came to the right place for emotional support and guidance, and like most who come to this site, while not a radical solution, you seem to have made a few friends that care and want you to heal, and prosper.

I'm broke too!! Bummer ain't it?

I'm so broke I can't even afford to pay attention! :)

I'm so broke that when robbers break into my house, they leave me money!

Sorry, I thought we'd moved on to poor jokes. Even though it isn't a joke, it's the state that many of us are in right now. If I let it get me down, I'd never get back up. All I can do is look to tomorrow to make it better. Same with you Sean.

Jo jo jo

Well, alty I am not sure if you are joking about your attention, but I isn't. I isn't joking about me being broke.

So today I had my ordeal. I submitted my stuff. And it was submitted for testing. There were a few bugs in my work. They went through it, and put me under further pressure. This thing hardly has any solution. I had to invent my solutions. For that I had to spend last year studying completely different mathematics, that I though I ever would. Naturally it is not their problem, why I took this long. Naturally it does not interest them when I tell them I did this or that, because it is NOT their field. SO I am again under pressure - that I am suffering from a breakup, and under physical breakdown, is not their issue. And she had to break exactly on these days.

The man is saying that he note I post in FB, so I should be able to do this too. I am such a loser.

They give me 48 hours to solve this. Impossible it is, I would say. But it is an ultimatum.

I am losing my ability to think.

Indeed a many of you are AT LEAST as broke as I am.. just I am the only one who can not take it any more. Maybe I should just pull the damn trigger.

Sean, you've made friends here. We can't help you with your work, we can't mend your broken heart, but we are here, and we're listening.

You're not a loser. You're also not the only one on this Earth that is suffering. In fact, many of the people that have posted on this thread have suffered far worse hardships than you ever have, including what you're going through now.

What will pulling the trigger accomplish? Do you want her to feel guilty that she hurt you? She won't. If that's your motivation, it's a dead end. She'll go on with her life regardless of what you do. In fact, she would likely never even know that you decided to kill yourself because of her.

As for being broke. My house is falling apart. I literally have an 8 foot hole in my ceiling caused by water damage from my broken dishwasher, and I can't afford to fix it. I have bowls under the leak, and I'm hoping that the entire downstairs ceiling doesn't cave in.

We live paycheque to paycheque. Both my husband and I work, and we have two kids to support as well. Today I couldn't even afford to buy a $1 bag of chips for my lunch at work. I don't have the money. Tomorrow is pay day, but even then I won't have the money, all of it is going to bills, and to keep the leaking broken roof over our heads.

You have only yourself to worry about. You can fix your situation. If I fail, my kids suffer too. So who's the loser? Out of the two of us I would say that I'm failing much worse than you are.

So stop your sulking, do your work, and see tomorrow as a new day, a day where you can change your situation. If I haven't given up, then why should you be allowed to?

I am thankful of you listening to me.

About not being able to pay, haha, I will have to walk to work tomorrow, because as a secondary teacher, without a special teacher training, I am also underpaid, and I also don't have money for food, all money is going for tobacco :) I am hoping that when this calculation finishes, I will be the only person in a LARGE number of people, who has successfully engaged themselves in such .

No, I don't want to make her feel guilty or anything. She will indeed never know that I was about to die for her.

I just don't know if I should live a pointless life (zwecklos), or end it, because it is of no ones use..

You are not losing your mind, you have lost focus on the task at hand is all. Emotional duress, and stress does that. Ask me how I know. It will pass if you let it. It will pass if you stop the suicide talk. It will stop if you allow a doctor to guide you to the appropriate strategy for temporary relief, and not think you know which anti pain works best.

You are smart, but hardly a doctor. Cite illness and give yourself more time for your assignment. A doctor will give you a note. Been there done that. It works... for a while, but maybe a few more days is all you need, eh?

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Originally Posted by sean_s

I just dont know if i should live a pointless life (zwecklos), or end it, because it is of no ones use..

Hey! You owe me a blog post -- your impressions of this site as a new member. I'm still waiting (patiently).

Doctors note won't work :( never mind that.

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Originally Posted by Wondergirl

Hey! You owe me a blog post -- your impressions of this site as a new member. I'm still waiting (patiently).

Yes, you are on my calender. 14th and 15th are for you

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Originally Posted by sean_s

yes, you are on my calender. 14th and 15th are for you

Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!! Danke.

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I am hoping that when this calculation finishes, I will be the only person in a LARGE number of people, who has successfully engaged themselves in such .

So you want to be in the elite group? Don't you want to live to see that? I know I would! Sounds like you're making plans for the future Sean.

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I just don't know if I should live a pointless life (zwecklos), or end it, because it is of no ones use..

If you're going to be among a very small group of people that can do what you do, then I fail to see how you're zwecklos. Du bist nicht zwecklos! You are of use to yourself, and you've found friends here. If you give yourself even a little bit of a chance, and stop being so hard on yourself, you'll find someone special.

Despite the fact that you're too judgmental of yourself, too hard on yourself, if I were single, I'd date you. Since I'm not single, I'll offer my friendship, and I hope you accept it.

I need to practice my German. In fact, I need to write a letter to my family in Germany that's long overdue. So you finish your work, you finish the commitment you made to WG, and then you can proofread my letter. Deal?

I'm not letting you off the hook that easy. I'm German. I'm hardheaded. You should understand that.

So get off your pity boat. You have a lot to do! :)

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Originally Posted by Alty

I'm not letting you off the hook that easy. I'm German. I'm hardheaded. You should understand that.

So get off your pity boat. You have a lot to do! :)

Poor guy. I'm German on both sides, 100%, 4th-generation American. He's in big trubble and up against a couple of frauen.