Oops, I typed that wrong. I meant I have had a couple of good days... or days where I have had a couple hours where I realize my life will keep going on. It's been 2 months since he broke up with me. For the first month, he kept leading me on though. He kept telling me he hoped we could be together, and how I was the one for him. I finally couldn't take it anymore and cut off all contact. That's when he found another girlfriend. I just feel so lonely. How did he fall out of love with me so fast? I would give anything to not be in love with him anymore and just be able to forget about him.

It is the WORST FEELNG ON EARTH. It makes us selfish and lost and isolated and absolutely sure no one can feel pain like ours! And we may be right, but Vincent van Gogh and Anne Frank and Nelson MAndela may give you a run for your money :-) But barely. Getting over a lost love is usually pre-wired in the brain as a survival tool IF we do the things that let it work. If not, it may take longer. If he left you - it may hurt worse... But if so, this HAD to happen. If you left and he is dating, it may just be his own coping mechanism... Regardless, - you will emerge triumphant!

Here's How: Buy a calendar. Each day put an adjective (or 2 or 3) of how you feel in the box. On the 90th day you may see you are strong again. BUT to do this you must create isolation... Knowing of his life or habits or anything stops the calendar in its tracks. If by some wild chance he IS the only one that understands you, God will bring him back. But the truth is that he may not really be THE ONE, and by going on a 90 day DaisyDew Program, you will look at those adjectives one day and smile. Guaranteed. But only if you let your brain do it's job and heal your soul. Limp out of bed and buy a calendar just for this and eat a snack and TRUST THAT your happiness is now BACK IN YOUR HANDS. The adjectives may be less one day soon. You may not want to even write one.. who knows... see where it takes you.
Empowerment is a powerful thing. Your mind is aching to get started. And you will be AMAZED at what your life will bring you in a year. This is life and it's what makes us human. If we didn't suffer we would be lawn furniture. If we didn't learn from our suffering we would be rusty lawn furniture. Be excited. Focus on that calendar. It will help you. If your relationship was over 3 years ypu can add 45 (extra) days on your calendar (just to be sure) to your peace... You'll get there. Tolerate school, friends, meals as best you can. They will all magically get easier as time heals your wounds - as long as you do not cheat. Best of luck!

Quote:

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Originally Posted by daisydew

I've been speaking to a counselor, and she's been helpful. I guess I have had a few days. I just miss him so much. I wanted my life to be with him, and now it's not going to end up that way. How long did it take you all to get over your exes?

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Good for you about the counselor Daiseydew! Grief is a unique and personal process but it is a process that takes time. I have been not myself for quite a while after a relationship ended. And it always is a two steps forward, one back kind of journey. The incredible thing I found is one of two things happened. I either learned I didn't die and life was somehow better as a single woman than before or I learned tangible things that made the next relationship work even better-- powerful lessons both that I needed before I met My One. So it is fair to say the best is yet to come and some of this now is the "ditch digging" part of that preparation. Not fun, hard work but a kind of necessary you won't see that way until you get further down the road. Sometimes all we can do is trudge through these parts. Trudge, trudge, trudge.

And a real trudge is can be at times too Daisydew.

It's a roller coaster of emotions that's for sure. Even 12 months on from my break up I have off days, hear things I don't want to hear, run into the ex. All these things still have an impact, but over time you find that it isn't so much the impact that becomes less, it's the time it takes you to not care so much again.

For instance I ran into my ex for the first time in a while on the weekend! When I first saw her I sort of lost my breathe! It was a little scary. We spoke, I learnt some things I wasn't too keen to learn (she's off to Africa to care for children with AIDS - part of her nursing) and we parted ways again. We were civil and everything was fine but still It wasn't a nice experience and it churned up a whole heaps of emotions inside me.

But you know what? A day or two later and I don't really care too much. It isn't occupying my mind. Im back to normal operation (not that I'm very normal).

If the same thing happened 8 months ago I would probably be at home in bed crying about it for a week.

Sorry, what a ramble, but just know it is only time that will make the steps forward bigger and the steps backwards littler!

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Ash123

If we didn't suffer we would be lawn furniture.

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God, I love this line! It may not make the suffering less but it sure makes it honorable---a crucial part of our human journey and a universally understood emotional language. I may have to plagiarize that line, Ash! :p

The trick is... don't get stuck in it! And if you are, take countermeasures as if you are in emotional quicksand!

I wanted to suggest this website Darren L. Johnson Official Website | Letting Go of Stuff | Motivational Books| Self Growth Audio Book. it is amazing the advice he gives. I found it has helped me.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by daisydew

How long does it take to really be over someone? I don't feel like I'm ever going to be over him.

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Hey girl,
I understand the pain that you are going through but I have to say that life really is too short for you to be sitting around feeling sad over a guy who is getting on with his own life. I'm sorry to be so morbid and I know that its probably not what you want to hear but I feel I have to remind you of how short life is and how important it is to live your own life to the max as no one else will do it for you. Sometimes we can look down so much that we no longer notice the sunshine, please don't do that to yourself.

It sure is hard, but take it day by day... It may take a while (maybe even half a year or more) OR you may never get over him completely, yet you've got to try and move on with your life.

What's the use of being so down anyway? C'mon! You say he's happy now. YOU DESERVE TO BE HAPPY, TOO! ;)

Quote:

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Originally Posted by daisydew

Hi everyone,
I'm about 7 weeks into my breakup now and I'm doing so much better! I'm so thankful for this board! I started seeing a counselor today because I was having guilty feelings about things I wish I could go back and change in the relationship.

One thing that really bothered me about my ex was that he kept in contact with ALL of his exes and ex "flings". He even went so far as to take ME out on a couple lunches with them. I voiced my opinion about how uncomfortable it made that he was still messaging, phoning, and occasionally hanging out with his ex girlfriends. He said it is just a sign of his maturity that he is capable of being friends with his exes. Personally, I felt like he was kind of keeping them on the backburner "just in case". He tried to go back to one of them right before he met me, but she wouldn't take him back as she had already met someone else.

The counselor today said that she thought him needing to remain friends with his exes was a sign of immaturity. She thinks he felt the need to hold onto the past, and it made him incapable of committing to the future. She also said it was immature for him to try to change my boundaries of not being okay with him hanging out with his exes. He made me feel like I was the one who was wrong.

I feel like I could NEVER be friends with one of my exes. I haven't talked to my first ex boyfriend since we broke up 2 years ago, and I never plan on it either. This most recent ex was my best friend, and we are extremely compatible personality-wise. I still feel like I could never be his friend though. I think I will always be attracted to him in some way, and that wouldn't be fair to whoever he was with.

I was just wondering what everyone else's opinion is on this. Are you friends with your exes? Is it ever appropriate?

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Hi there,
It is incredibly painful. I was with my ex and totally understand what you say about his exes.
I believe your counsillor was right in what she said about your bf's immaturity and also his lack of respect for himself and you and the specialness of your relationship.
He might think he is innocent, but more often than not the ex has another motive or still has feelings for him and how can he be completely involved in your relationship when he is still partially invested in an old one.
I am pleased that you have moved on. Hang in there girl! Things will get so much better and you will meet a fella that does not need his exes in his life. Lol

A month ago I'll be saying I want to stay friends with my ex too, but I realize it just won't be possible, until maybe some years down the road. Even though I acknowledged the fact that he moved on, and we can no longer be together. But, it's still painful to find out what he's up to in his life, because chances are he's happy without me.

At first I still wanted to show him that I care about him, that's why I want to remain friends. But if caring about him is going to end up hurting me, I don't think I can handle it. Aside from that he doesn't seem like he wants to keep our friendship either. It'll probably be awkward for the both of us. I just don't think you can be friends with someone, that you're still grieving over for losing.

I think the most I'll do to stay in contact is wishing him happy birthday via email. And that's it.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by kaitou

But if caring about him is gonna end up hurting me, i dont think i can handle it.

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WOW!

WOW AGAIN EVEN!

There it is--- the quiet, unassuming, almost elusive, truthful, self-caring, mature and very wise answer to the question about being friends with an ex,. proving without doubt that to make appropriate decisions concerning self, it is essential to know thyself first.

Thank you Kaitou for that jewel!

Quote:

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I think the most I'll do to stay in contact is wishing him happy birthday via email. And that's it.

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Even that is too much, but I understand giving up hope is hard. Time will give you more clarity.

Yeah as Tal says time helps you see clearly..
Here am I to prove it , one week after our breakup I was on the verge of sending a mail to say lets be friends, but thanks to tal, Skell, Val and Geoff, I did not, and boy how glad I am today... Thanks again to all of you for saving me from that situation!!
Time really changes how you feel... plus they need to feel the void from their lives.

Little by little I'm changing my mind about being friends with him, even though he was the most lovely, intelligent guy who I believe is my soul mate... but well friends would not work,and why give him the benefit of that really..

I did stay good friends with one ex, well we just dated about 2 months.
And I respond to contact from my first boyfriend when he mails.

I still haven't talked to my ex, and I really never plan on it. Plus, he doesn't need me now.. he fell out of love with me in 2 weeks and is happy with his new GF. Freaking crazy guy if you ask me.

Sometimes I wonder if he is ever going to try to contact me... I don't know what I'd do. I feel like I'm always going to be emotionally and physically attracted to him, so it would be in my best interest to NEVER SEE HIM AGAIN.

I hate that I still miss him.

This is a tough question, I feel "say hello", being civil is important. I think there are a lot of people whose feelings would have to be considered and more importantly "your own intentions of being friends". I think it is important to protect yourself so that you always move forward.

I a fairytale world "it would be wonderful if we all could "rise above things and be friends".

Quote:

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Originally Posted by daisydew

I still haven't talked to my ex, and I really never plan on it. Plus, he doesn't need me now..he fell out of love with me in 2 weeks and is happy with his new GF. Freaking crazy guy if you ask me.

Sometimes I wonder if he is ever going to try to contact me...I don't know what I'd do. I feel like I'm always going to be emotionally and physically attracted to him, so it would be in my best interest to NEVER SEE HIM AGAIN.

I hate that I still miss him.

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I think those emotional and physical attractions can and do change over time. I found an interesting phenomena Daisydew: those who I have ever loved, I continue to love. It isn't the love that died, but the trust. Sometimes the attraction part died along with the trust (because of all the crap they pulled) and the love somehow turned into something more like what I would feel for, say, my brother or a cousin -- strictly platonic. In other situations the attraction remained but I really did learn to not act on it (because of the lack of trust) and in some cases, not reveal it too (although I tend to be fairly transparent in my feelings about others so that one was a bit tougher). It may be that I still find the jerk hot, but finding him out as a hot jerk changes things, or can if you let it. I hope those are some things you'll consider.

Great stuff Val.

People take trust for granted - until the perso nthey love has had enough and is gone.

Also - it's the old "I love you, but i am not in love with you deal"

Just me, but Why I never went back to an ex, because as cute as they were, or fun as it was, or how close we were, after you find out about the other BS, who wants a repeat of that, and that's just what you'll get so, remember the BS you go thru as well as how cute the butt was.

I am in a similar situation. He still would like to be friends and talk on the phone and everything but it is hard for the me (the heartbroken one). I know that he won't be dating any time soon because his schedule doesn't really allow it. I say as long as he is still single call if you need to talk; however get out of there if he is trying to date again. My ex wants his cake and eat it too! Tough call!

Let me start by saying I HATE myspace. Even though profiles are blocked, you can still see their default picture. I have this bad habit of checking up on my ex and his new GF on there. Nothing ever really changes... until today. She posted a picture of him and her cuddling in the sun. It kind of made my heart drop, but it also showed me the progress I've made.

First of all, I didn't start crying. That's a HUGE step for me! :p

Second, she really isn't that cute! :) It's weird, she has all the features he told me he DOESN'T like in a girl. She looks completely opposite of me.

Third, he doesn't really look that happy in the picture.

Fourth, he's not as good looking as I remember!

So maybe I overanalyzed a little bit, but I'm glad I can kind of laugh about it now. I've realized how badly he treated me, while somehow convincing me that he was the best thing that ever happened to me.

A little part of me hopes that this girl is a rebound. (since he was still telling me he loved me less than 3 weeks before they hooked up) I don't know why... I just don't want him to be happy right now. That kind of makes me sound like a bad person, but he put me through so much and I'm jealous that he just moved on and was automatically happy again. So even if it makes me a bad person, I hope she breaks his heart like he broke mine!

Just one last thing. I'm the type of person that doesn't do well when I know people don't like me, or think I did something wrong. I KNOW he thinks that I'm a bad person and treated him badly during our relationship. He warped everything around in his head; in reality I would have done ANYTHING for him. How do I let go of the anxiety that comes along with him not liking me? I mean I really shouldn't care what he thinks of me... I just hate knowing that he thinks everything is my fault.

Thanks for listening : )

People pleasers hurt a lot when they find out someone doesn't like them. Avoid being a people pleaser.

You need no one's approval but your own.
Looking for a friend?
Try looking in the mirror.
You are your own best friend.
You need only trust and love yourself for others to trust and love you.
You are stronger than you think.

Be the grown up here - wish them well and move on.

Who knows the more things change the more they stay the same life is a rainbow of adventure anchored in gold its only natural to be a little curious and it will always be those that we remember the most the ones who made us laugh and the ones who made us cry and coming from a male perspective if its consolation he dreams of you for every second that he's with her its not hard to let our emotions control our actions the truth becomes so easily distorted that nobody knows what to say or what to do in the end nobody wins nobody loses after all were just two humans being everyday a new star is born and today that one was you...

I'm having another one of those jealous filled days... Most of the frequenters here know that my boyfriend dumped me and quickly moved on to a new girl that he knew while him and I were together.

We had so many plans together. Today I discovered pictures online from a trip that him and I were supposed to take together that he took with her instead. I'm still just sooo incredibly jealous that he was able to move on so fast. Doesn't he even think about how that trip was supposed to be with me and him? I'm trying so hard not to be jealous about them. I try to think that I'm the strong one because I'm not codependent, and I didn't need to rush into another relationship. It's just so hard to see him so happy with another girl while I'm stuck thinking about him all the time. Any tips for getting over jealousy?

My only tip for you is to stop thinking about him. Thinking about him won't do you any good, so stop torturing yourself over him :(. I'm going through the same thing you are, and I told myself, while I'm busy being sad about him. He's moving on, and doesn't think about me at all. I'm just out of his life.

So I should relieve myself from the pain, and try my hardest to make myself happy. And that is to stop thinking about the ex.

Patience, you've lost the battle, but you'll win the war.

Obviously you were more vested in the relationship than he was. It always hurts to come to that realization. However, don't automatically assume that he's so blissfully happy. You may have answered your own question in that he may indeed be codependent. If that's the case then he's far worse off than you and despite appearances right now is only going to end up miserable.

Stop thinking about him, and worry about you. Get busy as you have way too much time on your hands if your thoughts are still in the past.

I've been thinking a lot about unhealthy relationships lately. Looking back on my past relationship, I can now see all the things that were unhealthy about it. He was off giving other girls tons of attention. I was unable to enjoy sex with him because I knew so much info about his ex girlfriend's and his sex life. Most importantly, for about the last 6 months I remember wanting to break up with him. I even tried to break up with him at one point, but he convinced me to stay in the relationship. So after that I just told myself I would hold onto him until I found something better. I know that sounds so horrible. I'm so confused now why it broke my heart so much when he broke up with me. I mean I was the one that wanted to break up months ago! So that's a little confusing to me.

About the unhealthy relationships though... I was talking to a girlfriend and she mentioned that she was holding onto her boyfriend until something better came along. She said she knew that there was someone better for her out there.

I guess I'm just wondering if this is a common theme? Do a lot of people stick with someone even though they feel like there could be someone else better for them out there? It seems so hurtful. I felt really bad when I was thinking I was just holding onto my boyfriend until something better came along, but then I was absolutely DEVASTATED when he broke up with me.

Improve Your Relationships


The Power of Thought

Love begins with our thoughts. We become what we think about. Loving thoughts create loving experiences and loving relationships. Affirmations can change our beliefs and thoughts about ourselves and others. If we want to love someone, we need to consider their needs and desires. Thinking about your ideal partner will help you recognize him or her when you meet him or her.


The Power of Respect

You cannot love anyone or anything unless you first respect them. The first person you need to respect is yourself. To begin to gain self-respect ask yourself: "What do I respect about myself?" To gain respect for others, even those you may dislike, ask yourself: "What do I respect about them?"


The Power of Giving

If you want to receive love, all you have to do is give it! The more love you give, the more you will receive. To love is to give of yourself, freely and unconditionally. Practice random acts of kindness. Before committing to a relationship ask not what the other person will be able to give to you, but rather what will you be able to give them. The secret formula of a happy, lifelong, loving relationship is to always focus on what you can give instead of what you can take.


The Power of Friendship

To find a true love, you must first find a true friend. Love does not consist of gazing into each other's eyes, but rather looking outward together in the same direction. To love someone completely you must love them for who they are, not what they look like. Friendship is the soil through which love's seeds grow. If you want to bring love into a relationship, you must first bring friendship.


The Power of Touch

Touch is one of the most powerful expressions of love, breaking down barriers and bonding relationships. Touch changes our physical and emotional states and makes us more receptive to love.


The Power of Letting Go

"If you love something, set it free. If it comes back to you it's yours, if it doesn't it never was." Even in a loving relationship, people need their own space. If we want to learn to love, we must first learn to forgive and let go of past hurts, and grievances. Love means letting go of our fears, prejudices, egos and conditions. "Today I let go of all my fears, the past has no power over me-today is the beginning of a new life."


The Power of Communication

When we learn to communicate openly and honestly, life changes. To love someone is to communicate with them. Let the people you love know that you love them and appreciate them. Never be afraid to say those three magic words: "I Love You." Never let an opportunity pass to praise someone. Always leave someone you love with a loving word - it could be the last time you see them. If you were about to die but could make telephone calls to the people you loved, who would you call, what would you say and.. . why are you waiting?


The Power of Commitment

If you want to have love in abundance, you must be committed to it, and that commitment will be reflected in your thoughts and actions. Commitment is the true test of love. If you want to have loving relationships, you must be committed to loving relationships. When you are committed to someone or something, quitting is never an option. Commitment distinguishes a fragile relationship from a strong one.


The Power of Passion

Passion ignites love and keeps it alive. Lasting passion does not come through physical attraction alone, it comes from deep commitment, enthusiasm, interest and excitement. Passion can be recreated by recreating past experiences when you felt passionate. Spontaneity and surprises produce passion. The essence of love and happiness are the same; all we need to do is to live each day with passion.


The Power of Trust

Trust is essential in all loving relationships. Without it one person becomes suspicious, anxious and fearful and the other person feels trapped and emotionally suffocated. You cannot love someone completely unless you trust them completely. Act as if your relationship with the person you love will never end. One of the ways you can tell whether a person is right for you is to ask yourself: "Do I trust them completely and unreservedly?" If the answer is "no", then you must think very carefully before you make any type of a commitment.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by daisydew

I've been thinking a lot about unhealthy relationships lately. Looking back on my past relationship, I can now see all the things that were unhealthy about it. He was off giving other girls tons of attention. I was unable to enjoy sex with him because I knew so much info about his ex girlfriend's and his sex life. Most importantly, for about the last 6 months I remember wanting to break up with him. I even tried to break up with him at one point, but he convinced me to stay in the relationship. So after that I just told myself I would hold onto him until I found something better. I know that sounds so horrible. I'm so confused now why it broke my heart so much when he broke up with me. I mean I was the one that wanted to break up months ago! So that's a little confusing to me.

About the unhealthy relationships though...I was talking to a girlfriend and she mentioned that she was holding onto her boyfriend until something better came along. She said she knew that there was someone better for her out there.

I guess I'm just wondering if this is a common theme? Do a lot of people stick with someone even though they feel like there could be someone else better for them out there? It seems so hurtful. I felt really bad when I was thinking I was just holding onto my boyfriend until something better came along, but then I was absolutely DEVASTATED when he broke up with me.

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Ever heard of the term - don't settle for second best? Why would you want to drag something or be in a relationship just for the heck of it? Relationship is about not just being together, its about being there for each other. Not to take each other for granted AND the most important thing is to give it time, nuture it -work on how to make it better every passing day. Its about getting to know each other at a greater level. If you cannot find that satisfaction, you'd do yourself and the man a favor by calling it off.

<Do a lot of people stick with someone even though they feel like there could be someone else better for them out there?>

Nope I've never stuck with someone who treated me bad. One sign of it and I was gone.
Better to be alone than miserable with someone!

"Nope ive never stuck with someone who treated me bad. One sign of it and i was gone."

I agree. I came from an abusive home and I swore no man would ever lift his hand to me again.

Well, after 2 months of no contact, my ex decided to call me today to wish me a happy birthday. I didn't answer, but he left me a message that started just like old times. He was using his little cute voice, but then he got to the end and started talking about how I won't talk to him anymore and he got really bitter sounding... haha which is pretty funny to me. Anyway, I started crying just because it was weird to hear his voice and it made me miss him again. I'm being strong, and I'm not calling him back though! He doesn't deserve to talk to me : )

The weird thing is he had already sent me a message 3 days ago to wish me a "happy early birthday" which I also didn't respond to. I keep telling myself that he can't be that happy with his new girlfriend if he feels the need to wish me multiple happy birthdays LOL.

Anyway, just venting, thanks for listening!

Good for you for not calling him back and staying strong. It does sound to me like he's missing you right now and wants you to break down and call him.

Good to vent here. Well don't. You've overcome another hurdle in your healing process.

There are more to come but you are proving to be quite good at soldiering on through them.

Stick to your path and don't worry about him. Your doing great!

Good for you! :)

Hi again everyone! I haven't been on here for quite awhile. I posted here awhile ago about my ex boyfriend who broke up with me almost 7 months ago. I kept trying to contact him until February when I finally listened to all you wonderful people who told me about no-contact. I have not contacted him since mid-February.. almost 5 months!
Since then he's started calling and sending me messages on Facebook. I blocked him on Facebook and I haven't returned any of his calls. He called me a few days ago and left a message asking if I wanted to go to the fair with him. (Kind of a bizarre question since I haven't talke to him in 5 months... ) Anyway, he basically acted like nothing has ever happened and even used his cute little boyfriend voice. Of course I didn't call back, but I've just been really missing him now. I've been thinking about him almost constantly since he called and I've been feeling a little depressed. Part of me just really wants to hang out with him because I still miss him a lot, but I know nothing good would come from hanging out with him. Part of me just wants to call and chew him out because we he sent me a message on Facebook I could suddenly see his profile again. I saw he already has a new girlfriend, and has posted way more pictures of them together than he ever posted with me. He lied to my friend awhile ago saying he had no girlfriend and he really missed me. So a big part of me just wants to call and be like I know you're lying to me! I know you have a girlfriend! And it hurts me that you put up so many more pictures of you two together than you ever put up of me and you. Haha but I know that's childish and wouldn't get me anywhere either.
So this is basically just half a rant/I was wondering what you all think about the whole thing. I mean, I should call and hang out with him right?? Nothing good would come from it? Should I just do no-contact with him for the rest of my life? No contact has made everything much more bearable for me... Thank you for any input!

I would not contact him. By you doing this you are giving him reason to keep contacting you. I would change your phone # it's been five months you should be pretty healty to get back on your feet again. But no let him always wonder about you.

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Originally Posted by daisydew

Hi again everyone! I haven't been on here for quite awhile. I posted here awhile ago about my ex boyfriend who broke up with me almost 7 months ago. I kept trying to contact him until February when I finally listened to all you wonderful people who told me about no-contact. I have not contacted him since mid-February..almost 5 months!
Since then he's started calling and sending me messages on facebook. I blocked him on facebook and I haven't returned any of his calls. He called me a few days ago and left a message asking if I wanted to go to the fair with him. (Kind of a bizarre question since I haven't talke to him in 5 months...) Anyway, he basically acted like nothing has ever happened and even used his cute little boyfriend voice. Of course I didn't call back, but I've just been really missing him now. I've been thinking about him almost constantly since he called and I've been feeling a little depressed. Part of me just really wants to hang out with him because I still miss him a lot, but I know nothing good would come from hanging out with him. Part of me just wants to call and chew him out because we he sent me a message on facebook I could suddenly see his profile again. I saw he already has a new girlfriend, and has posted way more pictures of them together than he ever posted with me. He lied to my friend awhile ago saying he had no girlfriend and he really missed me. So a big part of me just wants to call and be like I know you're lying to me! I know you have a girlfriend! and it hurts me that you put up so many more pictures of you two together than you ever put up of me and you. Haha but I know that's childish and wouldn't get me anywhere either.
So this is basically just half a rant/I was wondering what you all think about the whole thing. I mean, I should call and hang out with him right??? Nothing good would come from it? Should I just do no-contact with him for the rest of my life? No contact has made everything much more bearable for me... Thank you for any input!

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I was in a similar situation that you are in about a year ago. The best advice I can give you is to let him go COMPLETELY. No contact at all. Everytimg he calls, or sends you a message it will stir up emotions that you have been trying to shut out. Seeing him even if "just to hang out" will only make things worse. I hope this helps. And good luck to you. I know how hard it can be when you truly love someone, but believe me, it gets easier everyday if you just let go.

Thank you. Yeah I know deep down I just need to stay out of contact with him. Thank you for the reassurance!