You're right, Tal.. I was stuck in the moment, and I still stand by it being stupid not taking the opportunity.

I know the communications aren't open because she's brick walling me when I try to talk to her, she doesn't respond to messages, she won't stay on the phone more then a few minutes. I don't know what else to do to get her to talk to me, man.

I do plan on showing her. I'm pulling extra hours at work and making phone calls when I'm off all while taking care of my kid, being up 48 hours with 6 hours a sleep every few days. I'm trying to show her, but she doesn't get it takes time.

I want to go to school, unfortunately I have no one I trust fully to watch him and until my mother comes down I cannot go to school or find another job. If I go to court and tell them that I have him babysat by a stranger or non-family member most of the time he's here and she says her mom watches him while she works and school, I'm going to only get visitations. I'm terrified to do anything man. I'm literally trapped and out of options other then my current job for the next few months.

I know I stooped low, but I did deserve some sort of answer.. When I tried and tried to talk to her or get an answer she would get mad at me. When I asked what was wrong I was given a short summary that pretty much said she was tired of it. OF WHAT? How do you repair that vehicle when you don't know where the problem lies? Sure, it lies in the vehicle somewhere, but I can change thousands of pieces and parts on it before nailing it.

I'm giving her the space, and I plan to work my butt off to show these two that I meant what I said about doing anything for them. And if I can't get it no matter how hard I try.. I'll do what I have to. I am the provider- I am the protector of this family! I will work, school, move, win, lose, die, kill, steal, manipulate, stoop, lose pride, burn bridges, and build networks to ensure my family the best, Tal. When all else fails I have to move onto the next thing until I've fixed it.

Yes, she's lost her confidence and pride in and for me. I plan to re-establish that. She's lost the ability to feel secure enough to tell me things and talk to me. I will accept my hurt feelings to open the door of communication between us.

She's hurt, Tal. I did that. I don't know what to do to fix these things. She also mentioned stuff I said in the heat of the moment when she finally walked on me a lot too much. I meant none of it. It was just a way of trying to hurt her back. Is that something I can just tell her?

Other then fix the problems she mentioned, what else do I do? I can fix the money, the vehicle, the house, and work on my personal idiotic antics and stupidity, but what do I do about her other then space? Do I need to talk to her about non-relationship things so she can slowly feel it's OK to open up to me?

I can't open up communications if she's pissed when I talk about the relationship.

Thanks, Tal... I need to be punched really. I'm just running out of any sanity left. A friend ordered a pizza for me because he knew I hadn't left the house and all I had was baby food when he came over. I just don't know about things anymore man. Without this I'd be empty of confidence.

How do I sell her on the idea of me changing when she's not around to see it?

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Originally Posted by FloridaFisher

You're right, Tal.. I was stuck in the moment, and I still stand by it being stupid not taking the opportunity.

I know the communications aren't open because she's brick walling me when I try to talk to her, she doesn't respond to messages, she won't stay on the phone more then a few minutes. I don't know what else to do to get her to talk to me, man.

I do plan on showing her. I'm pulling extra hours at work and making phone calls when I'm off all while taking care of my kid, being up 48 hours with 6 hours a sleep every few days. I'm trying to show her, but she doesn't get it takes time.

I want to go to school, unfortunately I have no one I trust fully to watch him and until my mother comes down I cannot go to school or find another job. If I go to court and tell them that I have him babysat by a stranger or non-family member most of the time he's here and she says her mom watches him while she works and school, I'm going to only get visitations. I'm terrified to do anything man. I'm literally trapped and out of options other then my current job for the next few months.

I know I stooped low, but I did deserve some sort of answer.. When I tried and tried to talk to her or get an answer she would get mad at me. When I asked what was wrong I was given a short summary that pretty much said she was tired of it. OF WHAT? How do you repair that vehicle when you don't know where the problem lies? Sure, it lies in the vehicle somewhere, but I can change thousands of pieces and parts on it before nailing it.

I'm giving her the space, and I plan to work my butt off to show these two that I meant what I said about doing anything for them. And if I can't get it no matter how hard I try.. I'll do what I have to. I am the provider- I am the protector of this family! I will work, school, move, win, lose, die, kill, steal, manipulate, stoop, lose pride, burn bridges, and build networks to ensure my family the best, Tal. When all else fails I have to move onto the next thing until I've fixed it.

Yes, she's lost her confidence and pride in and for me. I plan to re-establish that. She's lost the ability to feel secure enough to tell me things and talk to me. I will accept my hurt feelings to open the door of communication between us.

She's hurt, Tal. I did that. I don't know what to do to fix these things. She also mentioned stuff I said in the heat of the moment when she finally walked on me a lot too much. I meant none of it. It was just a way of trying to hurt her back. Is that something I can just tell her?

Other then fix the problems she mentioned, what else do I do? I can fix the money, the vehicle, the house, and work on my personal idiotic antics and stupidity, but what do I do about her other then space? Do I need to talk to her about non-relationship things so she can slowly feel it's ok to open up to me?

I can't open up communications if she's pissed when I talk about the relationship.

Thanks, Tal... I need to be punched really. I'm just running out of any sanity left. A friend ordered a pizza for me because he knew I hadn't left the house and all I had was baby food when he came over. I just don't know about things anymore man. Without this I'd be empty of confidence.

How do I sell her on the idea of me changing when she's not around to see it?

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I'm not tal but I feel the need to comment anyway...

You need to see through the fact that this change shouldn't be about her man! You need to change for yourself, and make your own life better and be happy with you and your son. And trust me dude, it's a small world. If your out there doing things, making connections and most of all being happy, she, and a lot of other females will take notice. The news will spread... but do it for yourself right now man. When you feel that change in you, and you know your happy, and IF you still want her back-I would say that's when you pursue. She may not see the changes at first, but I guarantee she hears about them, and maybe that piques her curiousity, maybe not. But I cannot stress enough, that right now you just need to do what you said, let go, stick to NC, and improve your situation.

Don't talk about anything with her right now except custody. Don't try and open up any friend zone lines of communication... she has made it clear she's not up for conversation right now, so just respect that.

It's nice to hear that your working long hours, but sleep is important. Sleep and eating are two very important things for you right now. Without enough of either, your mood will be crappy all the time and the feelings of depression will be much harder to get rid of.

The conversation happened, its in the past, you have your answers. Now stick to your plan, and to as little contact as possible, for your own sanity please!

Get on this computer and Google online degrees and research the subject. Waiting for months to do something for yourself is ridicules. Start now getting confidence in yourself through actions, and a little work. And get some freakin' food in your house why don'tcha!!

I realize your great at ranting and venting, but at some point, its about doing and accomplishing. Baby steps gets you started. So take a baby step, and use the computer for something other than b1tching about a female who is sick of your sh1t.

Tell me what you find. I am going to show you how to "fix your car", without tearing the whole thing to pieces.

Working on finding a career. I have been looking this whole time just not really hard core. I don't know what I want to do with my life.

She's hell bent on dating because apparently if "he makes mistakes then I should be able to make a mistake".. later stating "i don't think it's a mistake".. Yeah.. She's just having fun hoeing it up. It's pretty sad that she feels she needs all of that attention. Mine was a real mistake.. stupid but accidental.. She's going out of her way to make one.. Slowly losing attraction towards her already.

Even if she grew up down the line, I'm not sure I could take her back after sidelining me to sleep around. She obviously never gave a damn about me. Hurts to know that that which I love with half my heart doesn't give a damn about me anymore. Pretty sure I could drop off the face of the planet or die in a horrible accident and she wouldn't flinch.

I still say she's confused. She's talking about dating, yet she does nothing but talk on the internet to a gay guy and bunch of h*rny game geeks. She doesn't have the first clue about dating as an adult. I guess that's my fault really. Unfortunately.

I'm going to keep building as if she were to return.. It keeps me confident. I'm mainly building for my son now, he's very much worth it!

I just want to know that one day when I wake up I'll have that special someone to share my mornings with who actually loves me. I fear being lied to again. I invested my all into her and got punched in the heart for it. This is just going to cause me serious trust and insecurity issues later. If the woman I love and want to marry hates me, then what kind of life do I have to look forward to?

I've apparently lived a lie (still don't believe she knows what she's talking about) for the past almost 2 years. How do you recover from that, seriously? To wake up one day and find out that all that you love is gone or half gone.. That all the "i love yous" and kisses and making love meant nothing. This makes me tear up just typing it. The always and forevers, the writing each other fun and loving notes, the walks and memories you thought were special. It's all gone.

I was right, people are still trying to talk her out of it.. daily.. The guys on her stupid internet chat crap. I guess if she's weak enough in feelings for me to be talked out of it then I don't know if there was anything (which contradicts everything).

I'm trying to take this newly given info into thought, but I'm trying to not over analyze her actual words. I've been analyzing my feelings of emptiness and aloneness. Not sure where I stand right now.

Yeah, I'm a great complainer and b*tcher. Don't know why I've turned into this crappy pity party guy. I used to shrug stuff like this off and continue my day.

I finally got my insurance quote and can happily say that everything will be handled on my end come Sunday or Monday. I hope everything's good on the other end. I have to get the details worked out with this friend of a friend guy lol.

Can you really earn a REAL degree online? I've been looking at the local tech schools and community colleges.. Not too much to go by. I'm confused by a lot of this crap lol.. I suppose if I can't get past the website I'm not going to fair well in the class lol.. Still not the slightest clue what I'm allowed to do and what I want to do.

Eating a little better now and although I've been up 24 hours already I've slept a little better. I just want out of this life with all of these fake a$$ memories we had. That's a good part of my motivation. However, life's ability to make ever crap situation crappier has left me stranded for months lol.

Studying for my GED.. So boring lol..

Get that GED, and get some VOCATIONAL training, and at least have a skill to get a good job with. Baby steps work wonders.

I'll do my best to kick my own a$$ time to time and put myself back in check.

Trying to get her out of my head is an entirely different thing. I can barely get through a song/show without her popping in my head to ensure I keep hurting. I check every day to see if she's written me or called. Never happens. I see she's really done with me and it hurts how quick it happened. I know she had it in her head before, but to me it appears fresh and out of no where and quick. I just want the haunting to quit on my end. Can't believe how stupid I am in still loving this girl.

The problem is you have enough on your own plate without her.

You started by saying that your past was biting you in the butt, and it is, but that GED is what can make the changes you want, at least that is a first step you focus on. Not getting your baby momma back. I will be honest guy, you better focus, and give this 100% and tell your heart to shut the "F" up, as your son would have little chance with an unemployable father.

You have ranted on her for long enough, and fail to see how important those changes you can make are. I have counseled many who are in your shoes, and I find the ones that WANT to make something of themselves, are the ones that do.

Granted it's a slow process, and its damn hard, so how bad do you want it for yourself. For now That's your priority, not getting her back. Not anticipating she will change her mind

Not hoping for a family again

Not trying to get in her head

Not figuring new ways to con her feelings.

Doing the real deal, and contrary to popular belief 2/3 weeks tops is what it takes to pass a GED test. So how ready are you??

All but the math I can ace. I test well.. college scores out of the 8th grade.

I've come to see what you mean! I'm finally on the downward part of the hill.

I've lost respect and feelings for her since all of this and when I spoke to her before and she said hurtful things.. I was surprised when I opened my eyes and I was still alive and my heart still beat.

I've never cared about myself much- still don't. The job, the car, the place, the repairs, the money, etc.. They mean nothing to me. I can get by on so little.. I've moved with a duffel bag of clothes many times in a 5 minute decision when I was single. This is all for HIM. My SON. Nothing else matters. This was for my family, but I've come to realize he IS my family.

I've got my quote, I'm working on this vehicle as we speak. I have high hopes for my future. I was doing way too much planning when I had nothing to plan with. I'm starting with the basic. Work. Then food and so forth. Then insurance, vehicle, gas. Then saving money. Then this GED. Then I start looking for a certification. I like the way welding or mechanics sound. Not for a career, but to make more money and to have something slightly more stable in the mean time.

I've had it all wrong, but I had to wait this time out to clear my head.

When I spoke to her not only did I lose some feelings and respect, but again I saw I was OK and could laugh at the situation even. I also was flirting with an old girl friend of mine (not that kind of girlfriend) and I felt this sudden release of tension. I felt a bit more clear headed and it was just that quick. It's that I saw there's more then one girl in the world and if I lose my ex forever.. it's OK still.. I'm proud of myself for not calling her or confronting her. VERY. I still hurt and still love the girl, but I can be OK without her.

It's all about attention with her, and it's sad that she craves attention so bad that she gets it from people who call her "fat" and "ugly". She clearly has her own self worthiness issues and immaturity she needs to overcome on her own. I can't be a part of that and I can't save her from herself. That's her department.

I hadn't been in the sun so long it hurt a little yesterday.. lol.. I got out of the house and spent the day with my son just shopping and cruising around. I loved it. His little smile and his little hugs and kisses (I'm not gay and mushy.. I promise.. ) just make me laugh at the worst of times.

He had this old cell we gave him the other day and tried to be daddy LOL. He held it to his head and was walking around talking in it and then time to time he did his fake laugh and smile then continued talking. Rofl! Mind you he's only almost a year and a half. Smart kid! Then I gave him a bath the other day and couldn't find him shortly there after. I FREAKED out and searched and searched only to hear banging on the wall. I was like " is that?". He stole the WHOLE big jar of peanut butter, got the lid off, and was hiding in the pantry eating it. Lmao. I had to stop my emo moment to just die laughing. Then I had to bathe him again : /

I'm doing so much better now though. I just have better things to do. My son needs a dad and his big buddy back. I need to get the HELL out of this place. Lol.

My cards and even most of her were always mine to play. I've realized this now! And, the most satisfying part is knowing I can play these cards, but showing the self restraint and letting her dig her own holes and deal with them. Also, I can now play my cards and get my act together whenever I so choose in anyway I choose. I love it.

I really want to say thanks to all those who've watched me punch myself in the scrote over and over and still kept giving me advice. I would have given up on my stubborn a$$ lol. We need to hold a AMHD party. Seriously. Lol.. and AMHD should be a physical location.. Need a business store front lol. Come in, get emo, get slapped, get better, fall on your face like a tool, get picked back up and slapped again, and then get over it and on with your life. That's the motto. Lol..

I'll be spending more and more time taking my baby steps back into the world. Less time talking about it. Yeah right.. who am I kidding? If I'm not ranting and venting, I'm bragging and rambling. : p

Bragging and rambling is much better than venting at this stage... and now you do have some stuff to brag about. Congratulations! See how good it feels when you just say "f it" and get on with your life?

"I still love the girl, but ill be ok without her"-this is what I would call the turning point. You have realized that yes it hurts and yes you love her, but life will go on regardless. Im glad you have learned you can be OK without her... and your right, let her dig her own holes. Haha I should be taking advice from you now, I have had some severe screw ups lately.

It sounds like your doing all the right things, congratulations. It will just get a bit easier and easier everyday now!

What, a post about something other than her??

Keep it going guy, that's all you have to do.

On lunch break.

Kind of going dumb. I've been thinking about her today. Also about how she said her step dad told her I was feeling up girls when I was with her (TOTAL LIE). I'm going to ask her next time she calls exactly what I did that's that unforgivable. All BS aside. If her actions are based on that then this may be salvageable.

We'll find out when she calls tonight to speak with our son..

Kill her with kindness..

There you go again, plotting, and planning, how to get your way!!

Told her what I had to say.. and cleared my name.

Really not expecting anything of it.. I'm going to get on with my life for my son, but I'll probably fight for her for a while more.

I'm in a better state of mind to handle this stuff now. I can speak calmly, honestly, rationally, and not breakdown after wards. I'm very much relieved by that fact.

I'm not sure what exactly to do, but I can start a day at a time. Eventually I'll be somewhere, and maybe.. just maybe.. she'll see that I'm honest in what I say about how I'm straightening up my life. It'll always be better with her here, but I can manage without.

I'm just kind of blah more then hurt anymore. The only things that hurt me anymore are these three thoughts I have in my head that reoccur throughout the day. I even have mental videos/images of it. The first one being that one day I'll go to drop off my son and he'll run into the arms of another man. The second is the thought of how many great memories I have missed or that didn't happen because I wasn't there for them before that much. The third is that we'll never have those moments again.

She's not dating she says.. Really not sure what to think here. Not sure my emotions on that one. I guess one day we'll find out.

I'm kind of pissed about her not trying harder to see her son that she's not seen in a month and a half or even call him. She only called tonight because I asked her if she wanted to talk to him tonight and possibly me after. I don't know what kind of mother she's trying to be doing those things.

I'm not going to look into the career thing just yet until I have my life settled down a little bit first..

I'm glad to have such great friends and family in my life and on the net (you guys).. Not sure sometimes if I would be OK without you.. You've helped me push myself into seeing that I'll be OK no matter what.

Just taking it one day at a time.

Nah, I just didn't want there to be any false reasons to not try.. and specially something that slandered me like that. I've never cheated in my life.. It's just not in me. I will refuse to let some po-dunk hillbilly who drinks and smokes weed and blows his money to slander me. I'd rip that dude to pieces if I didn't have custody to worry about. That's beyond messed up. I don't get why someone would do that to me or anyone. I don't go around messing with other people. I helped him save his relationship. I don't deserve that.

I don't want my way if it's false, Tal. I just don't want the reason we're apart to be false either. She's not close enough to see if I've made changes, so I just caught her up on how we were doing and what we've been up to. She did the same. That's it.

Just checking, as sometimes we get so caught up in our own situation we make small inconsequential things bigger than they should be (slander by a relative of hers), and that makes the thinking stink even more.

Focus on the things you can control(you) and leave the stuff you can't control(everyone else) alone.

Anger, and frustration make bad decisions, and distracts us from important things we should be paying attention to.

Trying not to be angry, just sick of all this BS. I didn't do anything that's unforgivable. I'm just not sure what to think anymore. I'm not totally happy, so I'm not going to fake it.

After the call I found myself feeling a bit empty. I'm not sure exactly why. Nothing bad was said and she spoke to me in a normal manner for once. I didn't expect her to say anything or do anything.

So odd though.. While we're becoming who we once were again, I seem to be really attracted to her like I was when we first met.

I'm keeping the no contact thing because I don't want to be in love with someone who doesn't know if they want to love me. I don't believe I broke NC when I cleared those things up. We had to talk over our son anyhow. Plus, I felt I handled our conversation well without blasting into "i love you!"s.

Tal, I know I'm asking you something you have no clue about personally, but in your opinion based on what you know, why these things?
-Why does she tell me to move on then bring it up later when I make a move in that direction?
-Why did she say she wanted to date if she's been single this whole time?

I know it's analyzing things etc. But, I'm really curious and intrigued by the fact that she's acting against everything she's said for no obvious reason. Makes me wonder if I'm being tested or what.

How does one get over insecurities? I had some prior just due to life in general, but I don't want to be insecure about any future relationships (her or otherwise) because that'll just make them all collapse. I want to be a stronger man for all of this, but I'm feeling it may make me weaker in that sense. I'm fixing all the mistakes I can think of that I've made while making more in my head.

Feels good to be caught up on the work and money I was behind on. I really had dug a hole the past 5 weeks. Can't really job hunt until I get my mother down to babysit. I have been asking around to people I know about welding and mechanics. So far everything I find seems to be total crap and a waste of time. I want something good paying, stable, but that allows me enough time to see my kid every day and spend the weekends with him. Any ideas?

My son.. is a BABE magnet! Lol.. I have this thing where I'll see a cute cashier or something and I'll whisper " say hi " and he waves rofl. They come rushing over saying "awww, look how cute!".. "yup.. that's mine!" I reply.. They always seem to laugh. Good ice-breaking skills he has plus it lets me know who likes kids. Lol.. 5 girls in one 4 hour day out he lured in with his smile and waves and talking.. He's a natural flirt all by himself. I'm proud! Unfortunately, he also stops every old couple we come across. Lol..

Other then work and goofing off with my son I feel a void in my life. Even flirting and having fun doesn't fill it. I'm not sure how to take care of this or if it'll ever be filled or not matter. I have a field day with my son, flirt a little, work, get out of the house, etc.. And it's still just kind of there to bring me down. Something's missing : /

You just seem to let her confuse you and go through so much emotional turmoil trying to get answers to show you a road map to get her back, and you try to hard and get caught up in battles you don't have to fight. A complete waste of time.

You can't just throw something up that looks good on paper and say this is change. Change takes time and work, and a lot of both, and tons of patients.

You don't get exes back by trying to show them change. Often that pushes them further away. If you backed off from that goal, and let her make a decision without your influence, good or bad, you will be in a better position to make positive adjustments for yourself, and present a whole different attitude to your outlook.

People always think they have to work hard to keep what they had, when its much more effective to walk your path and wait for them to keep up with you because they want to.

That's always the problem when we focus on holding tight, and trying to fix every mistake, so we are attractive to the ex, when in reality the way you were when you met was more attractive to them, than now.

You have completely failed to see that you can't fix a couple with just one partner working hard, as it takes two, and it must be entirely voluntary. She must be willing on her own, to work with you for more than the sake of her son, and you have to be willing to let her make a decision about that herself as you do what you have to.

All your energy is on the fixing, and NONE, on the growing, knowing , and understanding that your path should not even involve her participation at all and act on that fact.

Then those small details from her won't confuse you. Then those confusion won't affect your thinking, and actions. Then those thought won't distract you. Then you will get a freaking math tutor, or put in whatever time it takes to be proficient enough to get a GED, so you can take the next step of stability, a good paying job, or a positive, productive career path, then your insecurity will be replaced with confidence, through accomplishment. Then you will be more attractive to others because your attitude has changed from challenged to a happier outlook, because your no longer confused.

Then you would have made changes we all can see. Then you won't care what your ex is thinking and doing, because your busy walking down your own path and will be a good example and mentor for your son. Whether the ex is there to help or not.

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Nah, I just didn't want there to be any false reasons to not try.

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If you spent as much time working on your math skills as you do worrying about the lies and opinions of a dopey hill billy, you would probably have accomplished your most important goal, getting your GED. How distracting, and wasteful to give him such importance in your life. What others say, no matter what it is, is irrrelevant, when weighed against what you should be, and could be doing.

Yeah.. Well.. F*** it..

Just done chatting with her.. she's in denial and living in a fake reality and it's really really pissing me off.. She said yesterday she would try to work things out if I proved I wasn't lying about changing. Today she lies and says she doesn't have those feelings. Yeah then why ask ffs, idiot?

I love her and still will for a while, but dude if she's going down the hoe trailer trash path then I'm bouncing.. It hurts a lot already, but she says she doesn't want to get married or love anyone for a good 5-10 years.. Like she really has that kind of power. Man I wish a d*ke would punch her in the face and snap her out of it. EVERYONE but her sees how much she loved and cared. That doesn't stop in a day. Sorry.

Well, it's time to move on and figure out what to do with my life. Can't believe this sh** sometimes. Really. Just. Can't.

She's so messed up in the head lately.. There's only two routes now for her life. She h**s around for a couple years and realizes it's not what she wants and gets back into serious dating. Or, she becomes a complete trailer trash h** and ruins her life and my sons. This could be dangerous for them both.

If she plans to have instability in his life like that should I tell her to skip coming down for the contract for custody and tell her to wait for court? If I get full custody I can move where I have family and job opportunities.

So...

I may get a raise in the near future.. and I am finally almost caught up completely.

Sorry at this random letter.. 3 am and I'm tired as hell

VENTING.. Sorry..

Breaking down while I write this.. for many reasons..

I understand her needing to grow up, but now she's claiming we never existed as a happy loving couple even though just days prior she said we were the greatest feeling ever. It hurts to hear her deny it.. really bad.

I can handle not being together right now.. It's not being the old couple loving and caring for each other to the end that we always wanted that hurts. It's the fact she's made herself believe we were nothing special.

Everyone else sees it and she used to. I don't get why she denies it. I don't understand what's happened since she went to live with her mom. I just know I hurt so bad by all of this.

I don't get how we loved so hard for 2 and a half years.. only for her to deny it. Is this a phase or what? I have albums after albums of our memories and that show how happy we were and how much was cared for one another. I have a son that's living proof we were willing to not care about others' thoughts and have the son we both always wanted together with each other.

I feel so insane and alone and confused. I don't know who's the messed up one anymore. My life has just fallen apart. My past 2 and a half years has been made to appear like it never existed.

She said just two days ago she would want to try things if I showed her a change. Now what the hell happened in 2 days other then my busting my a$$ for the past 5 weeks trying to show her. I lost weeks of sleep, a significant amount of body weight for my current size, my mind, friends, and family all in the name of trying to give make our lives happier again.

I'm going to push on.. I'm afraid of what life has in store for me next, though. I'm afraid to care about anyone else again. Afraid to continue living thinking it's all a lie. She's done a number on my life and soul.

Loving one minute.. evil and spiteful the next. There's not even a reason.

I'm smoking again.. I'm up all night again.. I can't think straight at work to get anything done right. I messed up the same thing twice in 5 minutes at work yesterday right in front of my boss.

I really ponder my existence anymore. Why in a day my life can be ripped from me that easily? Why does the girl who loved me and cared about me and tried for me deny these feelings and denies us the chance to ever try again?

Gtg to work.. other then my son I'm not really sure why. Honestly. Sincerely. No clue.

Im in the same boat as you my man... 3 months later I still ask myself those questions sometime. I was told the last 3 years were a waste of time, pointless, she didn't feel anything towards me (24 hours after telling me she loved me and would never leave).

Bottom line is there is no answer to this man. I don't even think she knows what's going on in her head. All we can do is write it off and forget it as much as it hurts. You say she wants to take the "trailer park ho" route, let her. She made her bed, she can sleep in it. I know EXACTLY how you feel my man. I cleaned my ex up from hard drugs and all that junk, a few weeks ago she's back hanging with the same group of girls who are KNOWN in this town for giving "oral" for whatever drug they need. I hope she hasn't become this, but one can only assume. So the question we pose to ourselves, is why waste any more time and devotion on a person who clearly does not deserve it? It hurts, will hurt for a while, but you have to let your disgust with her take top priority for a bit. Yea she's your sons mother and unfortunately you have to deal with her for life in some way or another, but dude use her actions as a means to just be disgusted with her, and realize you deserve a woman who doesn't pull this kind of crap. Haha dude I wish I could fed ex you a magic pill or something to make this go away, but it doesn't. It gets easier though, and eventually the disgust/anger grows to outweigh wanting her back.

The O guy is right, at some point you get a grip on yourself and stop being distracted by your own feelings due to her antics. They are irrelevant emotional background noise. Made worse by the stress and helplessness you feel in your situation.

That's why working hard to accomplish your own goals (nothing to do with getting her back) Is your medicine for all this goofiness.

Ever think that without her getting pregnant, you would have broken up any way? More likely than not. And no way you really know a person well after on 2 years and you are learning more now about each other than you ever did when you were together.

And you don't like it, so fair enough. When you accept her for who she is, and she you, maybe you let go completely the idea of having a family with her, and get with the idea she is your baby mama, and that's all.

When you get to that point all the emotional side issues won't mean a damn, and you can be at least good parents despite who you are as individuals, who can't get along, for no other reasons than being stubborn, and INCOMPATIBLE.

Hard to build a life that you enjoy, between such people, but you can raise a son well. Just let go of the personal BS, and put the business cap on, and handle it, whatever the situation.

I see what you both are saying.. and well I've been living and working towards the things I've wanted for a while for once. I've finally stopped sidelining myself. I never cared much for myself and never had much growing up so I was OK with skating by.. and that was selfish of me because my family needed me to provide and be there. I've finally been able to use that to push myself for my son.

I'm working all the time now and spending the rest of the time away from here with my son. I'm enjoying every minute of it. I'm the father I've always wanted to be and the dad he deserves.

I'm learning to be myself and laugh, joke around, and be happy in the moment. I no longer stress myself about things to come.. I take it a day at a time.

Stress has always been a major issues in my life. I grew up taking care of my mom and family.. I had to keep my mother from her suicidal tendencies, my sister from doing stupid attention seeking harmful things, watched over my brother when we got put in foster and had to skip school to make sure he didn't get jumped from neighborhood punks, signed over every check from every job from 15-19 to pay the bills because my mother couldn't get her act together, and I just made everything my responsibility. I never had a chance to worry about my own problems and was told by my foster father at the time that the way I was going I'd have a heart attack by 30. It's all I know how to do. I enjoy helping others at my own expense, but it's turned my life into a living hell at the same time. This was the major contributing factor in our arguments and fighting. I'm finally working through it and learning that I can't be everyone's hero and not my own.

I was venting when I wrote the last one.. I just have to get it out somewhere while I sit and try to be strong in front of my son, family, and friends. It relieves stress and calms me down and I apologize for bringing it here for you all to have to read.

I've come to really understand that what she's doing is really sad. I mean the woman has so many insecurities that she befriends people who call her f'd up things. I've also seen that she herself is trying to deal with all of this, and that her way to cope is to deny everything we had. I know we had happiness and love and a great time and that's enough for me to see that I haven't lived a lie for the past 2 and a half years. I'm seeing this isn't all my fault and I can't and shouldn't take all the blame.

We are compatible, but she needs to grow up a little(if she ever does that is). I could probably go to GA and possibly salvage our relationship, but that's not a real solution. The solution (if any) is for her to also have her epiphany (if possible) about what she did wrong and that she wants to fix it too. Until then anything I do is moot. I don't want someone around that's here because I make them.. so any ignorant tactics that I try to apply or work w/e are just that. Not sure why I thought begging and pleading would a) bring her back and b) make this into a real relationship again. If she wants to work on it she knows where to find me.

I don't plan to date really anytime soon because I still have a lot of unresolved personal issues, but I am enjoying the ability to flirt without guilt or disgust in myself. Lol..

Got plans to do some fishing with my buddies and next week hopefully will have this unicorn of mine (the blazer lol) that I haven't managed to get yet. Also got plans to hit up Captain Hiram's (riverfront restaurant, bar, live music, club type thing) next weekend to just unwind and check out some chicks while enjoying a cold one.

I think keeping myself busy has worked and I regret not listening to you and doing it sooner. I still think about her while I work and goof off, but it's usually about how she's doing. I still worry a lot for her even though she's the one doing it to herself. Wish she'd grow up and see what a great girl she can be and her potential. However, this is only thought and it's NOT my problem.

She's throwing this Jay guy in my face which is obvious to anyone around when we talk including her friends.. Not sure why, but I really could care less. It's not my business and I'm not giving her the joy of seeing me hurt or caring about it. I'm done playing those middle school games with her because no matter what I do.. if I react she wins and I fall apart.

I worry a lot about my sons unstable life to come. I wish I could do something on her end to ensure he has a better life, but I can't unfortunately. I plan to show him that his life can still be great and that I'm his father and I love him more then anything in the world. She already doesn't call him or make attempts to get down here quicker. I'm really sickened and appalled that she could do this. I wish his mother could see what she's doing to her own child by not being there 100%.

Some reason still.. late at night.. when there's nothing to do.. and the house is empty.. I get to thinking of her.

I'd like to think I'm still making progress. Is it wrong of me to think of her?

Not at all, and its normal when you are alone. Its what you do with your feelings is what makes the difference.

What most don't realize is that its seldom about the other person, its mostly about you, and how you cope with yourself. That's the whole moral of the story, how well you COPE WITH THE FEELINGS ANY SITUATION IN LIFE BRINGS YOU.

For sure you can look back and see what works and what does not from past experience. That's what most humans do, but sometimes we get side tracked by our emotions, and lose focus.

When you can't sleep, study math, and learn to focus, and the being better at math, will give you a small victory to build on. I can appreciate the need to vent and rant, but positive, proactive ways to achieve your goals is under the category of staying busy, and focused.

Well, it is about her, but you're right about it mostly being about me. I miss the all the little things about her and the laughs and goofyness we shared and how we would do small things to show how much we cared..

I always have this alone feeling when I'm single which is what makes me tend to rush things when I see things going well I suppose. I want to learn from it, but filling this void makes me happy during that time. I don't want to be dependent on others. I guess I've not found anything for the void I spoke of before.

My son makes up most of my feelings, then her, then hobbies etc.. But when she's gone it's just an empty part of me.

Working on myself as far as behavior.. Not sure how to do it for sure, but I'm trying. I want to be more open and less hidden away, less random explosive anger, and I want to learn to let the little things go and not worry about every little thing.

I try to do anything I can to take my mind off her when I'm alone or bored, but I can't think straight enough to study or do anything that requires thought. That's why I've been trying to go to the store or get out of the house at night and come back when I'm ready to crash.

I'm hell bent on this truck still.. The funds should be available next check and I can drive er home that day.. I love working on vehicles so it'll give me yet another labor type task to keep me busy even though it's in "like new" condition. This vehicle will open a world of possibilities to me which is why it's so important.

Got this custody paper still in the brainstorm area and I sent her a copy of what I want it to say and asked her if she wanted to add stuff etc. I haven't heard back from her. Not sure why everyone pins me as the bad guy when she didn't even call last night to talk to him like she promised and hasn't even realistically tried to come down here. I'm pissed, but I'm trying to remain civil.

Any tips on:
How to handle her 'throw it in your face' behavior with these guys she calls and etc etc?
How to deal with her attitude towards me even when I'm being calm and rational and nice?
How do I deal with her when we come face to face? I can't avoid her obviously and I don't want her to sense this weakness because it's just fuel to her fire.

Thanks for all your help and listening and responding @ everyone who did so lol..

You are restless, irritable, and discontent, when your goal is to be cool, calm, and collected, and happy and at peace with yourself. No focus or rhythm. Just out of control emotions, and impulses.

Too much emphasis on her, not nearly enough on you.

That's why I cannot even address the questions you ask, because they are not only irrelevant, but to far away from the real problem. She has absolutely nothing to do with YOUR behavior, only you do. Why can't you see that??

I'm doing the best to get myself under control. I do see that I'm the problem. I don't know how to calm my a$$ down, man. I would have done it a long time ago had I been given the ability to just walk away cleanly.

I cannot just relax with all of these custody issues and all the crap I have to do to get my life back on track. Trust me I've improved 75% on everything I have been able to figure out. I'm only able to figure out the materialistic issues though. I'm working, I have material goals, but I just can't seem to get my personal act together. I make it worse by worrying that I can't even. It's really out of control and it seems there's nothing I can do about it.

I'm not exactly sure how you come to the conclusion you have about me fixating on her. I mean I DO have to deal with her and I want to be civil about it for my son's sake.

Yes, stupidly I still think of her.. I admit it. I know that she won't come back unless she wants to. I understand this. I am going crazy because I still love her and it's not even mutual and I have to deal with it. You know how awkward and sh***y this makes me feel?

I can't just drop my feelings for her and continue about my day like nothing's happened. Dude, I've learned to not listen to her because she's obviously trying to screw with my head.. That's hard enough.. especially when she goes out of her way to try and do it. I don't go trying to find things anymore because I know it'll only hurt and continue the problem.

I'm at a loss as to what the hell I can actually do.. you know? I mean I am all those things you stated. I'm a push away from yet another nervous f'n break down because I can't just remove myself from her permanently.

I do have to control myself around her because otherwise she'll see it bothers me and continue this pushing crap in my face. I HATE IT. I don't like acting in a false manner, yet I have to do it on the phone already. This drags me back 10 steps for every 1 step I make towards being my happy self once again.

I know I'm not in the worst situation possible, but it doesn't change the fact it sucks and I'm stranded in it. I really do feel hopeless and trapped right now and I'm waiting on time to come do it's thing. I have nothing else to count on doing it.

What do I have to be calm, cool, and collected over? I ask with all due respect of course.

I can't even do damage control here because there's nothing left to save. Lost my girl, half of my son's custody, my mind, plenty of friends, and what do I have to show for it? Some retarded little materialistic crap. Stuff I don't even care about personally, it's all for my son. I care about him- that's all I have left until she comes and gets him. Then I just have stuff.

I respectfully ask what you would do in my situation. I'm at a loss. My brain cells are maxed within the first hour of being awake.

You have only been on this forum 12 days, honestly not long enough for the emotional dust to completely settle.

I went back through your OP, but could not get a handle on how long she has been gone so how long is it??

Almost 6 weeks.. so working on 2 months now..

That's not a long time at all. Despite my continued advice, I acknowledge how fresh, and raw your pain must still be and what a difficult time you are going through. At least you can review this thread as the emotional dust settles and the shock has fully worn off.

I suggest some very rigorous physical activities in the early evening to help you sleep at night and start getting some natural rhythm back in your life. That and a good diet, is a start of getting a very balanced routine that will help with your thinking.

Sorry meant almost 7 weeks..

Yeah I want to get to working out, but I'm strapped for cash. I need to at least gain 10lbs of the 20 I lost back by the end of the week. I've been slowly eating better.. This week's going to be a big one..

I don't have anyone here available to help me get out or get passed this.. I have friends here on the property, but they're hella busy all the time..

Got one dude I work with and he's like 60 lol.. He said he's going to try to get me out to this local join down where I used to live next weekend when I attempt to purchase this truck lol..

So far the only thing that diverts my mind is flirting with other girls and even then it's hard not to be a tool and mention the ex. Lol..

I just wish I was an a-hole sometimes lol.. I could just walk away from stuff like this, but it's not who I am unfortunately.

Got work today and I get to take my lunch break far far from here lol.. may even bring a fishing rod. I'm happy about that. I love my friends and a job is a job, but I can't stand being back here alone.. lol.. I can't act calm, cool, or collected here.. I still have all her crap to get rid of which will hopefully be next weekend. One less thing, you know?

I'm sorry for being a giant douche lol.. I REALLY REALLY am trying my best to eliminate things one by one, and I think I'm doing a damn good job of it- just wish it'd go faster. This "time" crap sucks lol.

Anyone got a good chili recipe? Can't be hot unfortunately because my son's got to eat it too..

Rofl.. I've been goofing off and being my goofy self more and more and have been hitting on girls here and there.. No one in particular nor any cares if it goes anywhere. I've really lost my game! LOL.. I hit on this chick at wal-mart.. had my milkshake from mcdonalds with me.. She was smiling and laughing then asked what I got.. and DUDE.. I tell you! I rambled on for like 5-10 minutes about frickin milkshakes. NOT the best way to win a girl over lol. But anyhow, it was only meant for fun, to see where I stand anymore, and to figure out how much confidence I've lost. It wasn't pretty lol..

Yeah it's still semi-fresh which is why I've been worried about how to deal with her when she comes down. I don't want my feelings to jump back and take over more so then they already do when I see her again. It's like a reset. Same with her calls. I cannot just look away and go about my life.

Don't wish you were an ahole... because chicks don't stay with guys who are.

Sounds like you know now that all it takes is time.

Haha sounds like you had your own "swingers" moment with the milkshakes... good though man get back out there and at least mingle. It's not going to be easy... and there will be days tougher than this one I'm sure... but hopefully you have seen that happiness is possible now without her. Keep going!

Man.. I just got home.. Very! Happy!

I've hit on so many hot chicks and it was so mutual with all of them.. and they all loved my son.. AWESOME.

I believe my ex and I would be great if she would grow the F up, but I can't just sit and wait for that to happen because who knows if it ever will. I love her, miss her, but I CAN be happy without her.

I've only thought about her once today and it was for like 5 minutes. I LOVED TODAY. Sucks there will be down days, but as long as I have a good one time to time I'm going to be OK.. I wish today never ended..

Got to spend money on my son and myself.. First time I've been able to do that in a while now.. Got him a little matching board shorts outfit. He's already poured strawberry milk all over it.. pfft.. lol..

My friends and family are finally talking to me again rofl! They all avoided the venting side of me after I did it every call or show up.. I don't blame them.. I'm just happy that I can see my life isn't totally over and who my real friends are..

Rofl @ the swingers thing.. Dude.. it really really really sucked.. I tried way too hard instead of being my normal self which chicks seem to LOVE!. I am doing age checks now LOL.. No more of this immature high school crap. I love that they can be goofy and fun, but I don't have the time or mental space for this drama and idiocy..

I've done well today keeping myself busy.. I have a material goal which puts a lot of my life together.. and now I'm also taking this extra time to learn to cook lol.. I've already burnt a pop-tart today. Not going so well yet lol..

Hey Florida, glad that your putting your son first in your life. As for the break up, time can only heal the wound that you have. You will have some good days and also some bad, but just press forward and try to get your mind into something else. I know when I start thinking about my ex, I just focus on my future and it makes me feel better.

I to have a criminal record from the things I did in the past. But its not stopping me from doing the things that I want to do. It actually motivated me, knowing that I can't get accepted from any job, the only thing I can do is focus on the business I had opened with my best friend. Do what you have to do, and remember your best years is not from the past but IS TO COME.
Keep up your attitude, and never think negative.
if you dont mine, buy this book "the magic of thinking BIG" this will really help you in the situation that you are in at this moment. Good luck!

Quote:

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Originally Posted by FloridaFisher

Man.. I just got home.. Very! Happy!

I've hit on so many hot chicks and it was so mutual with all of them.. and they all loved my son.. AWESOME.

I believe my ex and I would be great if she would grow the F up, but I can't just sit and wait for that to happen because who knows if it ever will. I love her, miss her, but I CAN be happy without her.

I've only thought about her once today and it was for like 5 minutes. I LOVED TODAY. Sucks there will be down days, but as long as I have a good one time to time I'm gonna be ok.. I wish today never ended..

Got to spend money on my son and myself.. First time I've been able to do that in a while now.. Got him a little matching board shorts outfit. He's already poured strawberry milk all over it.. pfft.. lol..

My friends and family are finally talking to me again rofl! They all avoided the venting side of me after I did it every call or show up.. I don't blame em.. I'm just happy that I can see my life isn't totally over and who my real friends are..

Rofl @ the swingers thing.. Dude.. it really really really sucked.. I tried way too hard instead of being my normal self which chicks seem to LOVE!.. I am doing age checks now LOL.. No more of this immature high school crap. I love that they can be goofy and fun, but I don't have the time or mental space for this drama and idiocy..

I've done well today keeping myself busy.. I have a material goal which puts a lot of my life together.. and now I'm also taking this extra time to learn to cook lol.. I've already burnt a pop-tart today. Not going so well yet lol..

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And that's what its about man! Haha knew you had it in you... just keeping focusing on your future and the positives like showme suggests. He helped me a lot in my thread his advice is always sound. It's beautiful up here in Canada right now I can only imagine what its like in Orlando you lucky dog... surrounded by gorgeous chicks!

Thank bruh! I really do feel a little better without talking to her and just enjoying my life. I still fret about her coming down and stuff, but I hardly think of this stuff throughout the day.

I hear she's talking about being bi or something now.. She's just too confused in her own mess.. I worry for her, but it's time I step back and let her deal with her own issues. I try not to over analyze everything.. however, I do occasionally wonder some things.. not for long though lol..

I wish these new positives came a little quicker.. but then again I need to learn to live in the now a little more instead of worrying over what's to come 24/7.

I feel better knowing almost everything in my life (with the exception of some things.. ) is in my control. I can change so many variables..

So how goes your adventures, Original? How did the Services meeting go? How's the single life treating you?

Yeah man.. if you're ever in Florida hit me up dude.. I'll take you to some pretty fly spots to meet girls lol.. Canada won't let me in lol.. I'm a felon. I thought about visiting Canada this summer, too! My old Kansas roomies moved to North Dakota when I moved here and we're talking about me flying up for the 4th of July and driving 3 hours north to Canada if they let me in.. Lol. Where bouts are you?

Seriously, could have got hella numbers this past week lol.. If I do ever hook up I'm going to keep it on the down low for now.. I Don't need more things to keep her nagging me on. Letting the emotional dust settle on this one first lol..

Outlook is bright.. Just got to keep finding ways to keep faith in letting whatever happens.. happen.

Truck's not going to happen till mid week next week or the end of next week.. Works out perfect because I can see some friends and have a little extra money to spend etc.. I'm down on it, but it's no biggy..

Real question.
If the opportunity presents itself.. would it be stupid to go on a date while I still have feelings for the ex? Will this harm any progress I've made?

I know what you're thinking.. that I'm not relaxing and going with the flow.. I VERY MUCH AM.. but how am I to know what it'll end up doing to me? I'm asking others who have experience in dating after a break up. Besides, it'd be more of a confidence building thing I believe.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by FloridaFisher

Thank bruh! I really do feel a little better without talking to her and just enjoying my life. I still fret about her coming down and stuff, but I hardly think of this stuff throughout the day.

I hear she's talking about being bi or something now.. She's just too confused in her own mess.. I worry for her, but it's time I step back and let her deal with her own issues. I try not to over analyze everything.. however, I do occasionally wonder some things.. not for long though lol..

I wish these new positives came a little quicker.. but then again I need to learn to live in the now a little more instead of worrying over what's to come 24/7.

I feel better knowing almost everything in my life (with the exception of some things..) is in my control. I can change so many variables..

So how goes your adventures, Original? How did the Services meeting go? How's the single life treating ya?

Yeah man.. if you're ever in Florida hit me up dude.. I'll take you to some pretty fly spots to meet girls lol.. Canada won't let me in lol.. I'm a felon. I thought about visiting Canada this summer, too! My old Kansas roomies moved to North Dakota when I moved here and we're talking about me flying up for the 4th of July and driving 3 hours north to Canada if they let me in.. lol. Where bouts are ya?

Seriously, could of got hella numbers this past week lol.. If I do ever hook up I'm gonna keep it on the down low for now.. I Don't need more things to keep her nagging me on. Letting the emotional dust settle on this one first lol..

Outlook is bright.. Just gotta keep finding ways to keep faith in letting whatever happens.. happen.

Truck's not gonna happen till mid week next week or the end of next week.. Works out perfect because I can see some friends and have a little extra money to spend etc.. I'm down on it, but it's no biggy..

Real question.
If the opportunity presents itself.. would it be stupid to go on a date while I still have feelings for the ex? Will this harm any progress I've made?

I know what you're thinking.. that I'm not relaxing and going with the flow.. I VERY MUCH AM.. but how am I to know what it'll end up doing to me? I'm asking others who have experience in dating after a break up. Besides, it'd be more of a confidence building thing I believe.

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Hey man
Talking about being bi? She must be confused... let her do her thing though... only one that can figure out her issues is her as much as it sucks.

The service thing went all right man, thanks for asking. It was just a medical, more or less like going for a check up at the doctors, but I passed, and am now waiting for a phone call for an interview (cant happen soon enough lol). Single life is OK... I enjoy hanging out with my friends and having no responsibilities towards women... a few have actually expressed interest in me but I'm not even close to interested in anything yet. Plus I find that these girls get upset whenever I don't "text" or call them back right away... dont need that noise right now. I still think of my ex a couple times through out the day... still miss her. But I'm staying strong... have been in NC again for 1 week now so now the goal is 2 weeks.

I live in southern ontario... closes border I believe is Niagra Falls, NY... if you end up coming down though keep my posted we will grab a beer.

I would say don't date quite yet... its not fair to the other girl... it is a real confidence boost just to know that other girls are interested though. I know when new girls around here were telling me they were interested I just ended up comparing them to my ex and no one has quite measured up yet... probably a sign that I'm still not ready. But you are your own man... if you feel you are ready than do it! Life is to short to regret anything at this point right? I have to jet to work but I think I'm going to update my thread tonight, been doing OK lately. Take care man let me know if you take a date!

It hurts.. and I had to break NC today technically to tell her to call her son and to pick a date to come down and actually stick to it. Ridiculous. Lol.. But, I did type a message on the bottom telling her I've stopped trying.. here.. have a read..

call your son.. I'll try to figure out a nap schedule for him so you know when you can call.. You need to pick a date and actually come down on it. (This is where I'm telling her I've had enough.. This is effecting my own life because I don't know when I'll need to set aside time and money or get these papers drawn up.. she hasn't even spoke a word of custody yet.. I'm quite ticked.. These games do not need to be played with our son.. Even if it makes her hate me more then she already does lol.. )

I'll stop trying to fix us and leave it alone now.. I can see you don't wanna be with me for one reason or another.. Nothing I can do to make you change your mind no matter how hard I try.. I'll always love you.. more then just the mother of my son.. as I know deep down you feel toward me.

This was not only to show that she's being stupid about custody and her son, but also a sort of farewell. This was my final peace.

Glad to hear the medical went well, bruh! I hope you get that call man. I feel you on trying to be patient while going through so much. Yeah dude, it's really nice to not have to get second opinions on EVERYTHING nor worry about where you look or what you say to someone else.. LOL man every woman seems to get pissy when you don't call or text. Not sure why.. but you're right.. You have so many things going on in your life why add another stress cause? Unless of course you find "the one" LOL. Yeah.. we suck LOL.. Sorry you still think of her man, just take this opportunity to hit on those girls.. you'll stop thinking of her, and you'll be doing your confidence some justice.. That'll even carry over to the Services. I have turned down a clear opportunity to get numbers as I'm sure you have. That shows everything doesn't have to be serious- It doesn't even have to leave that moment. It's a good feeling man and it hurts no one and is completely innocent, but do it when you're ready of course. Grats! @ week 1.. Hopefully she's run out of appliance ideas to call about.. You got week 2 down no problems I bet, dude. I gots faith in you!

Haha.. My friends here are from that area of NY.. Maybe one day I'll find myself there at the north pole : /

Well.. I'm not out to date anyone, get a number, or anything of the sort. Yet. Lol.. I've been building confidence is all so far and I think I may nab a couple numbers sometimes because I need friends around here to chill with lol.. The hotter the better.. Nah, I'm just looking for people to chill with when my son's not around.. I'll post here if I do decide to cross that line.

Dude don't compare.. I know everyone does it naturally, but just remember.. THEY are talking to YOU.. They're already better lol.. They want to be around you.. not push you away.. But, I understand the whole love stuck thing..

Where'd your avatar pic go, OG?

My son just farted and I heard it bubble.. On that note.. I'm going to go.. and spray my house & son down with bleach..

Quote:

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Originally Posted by FloridaFisher

It hurts.. and I had to break NC today technically to tell her to call her son and to pick a date to come down and actually stick to it. Ridiculous. lol.. But, I did type a message on the bottom telling her I've stopped trying.. here.. have a read..

call your son.. I'll try to figure out a nap schedule for him so you know when you can call.. You need to pick a date and actually come down on it. (This is where I'm telling her I've had enough.. This is effecting my own life because I don't know when I'll need to set aside time and money or get these papers drawn up.. she hasn't even spoke a word of custody yet.. I'm quite ticked.. These games do not need to be played with our son.. Even if it makes her hate me more then she already does lol.. )

I'll stop trying to fix us and leave it alone now.. I can see you don't wanna be with me for one reason or another.. Nothing I can do to make you change your mind no matter how hard I try.. I'll always love you.. more then just the mother of my son.. as I know deep down you feel toward me.

This was not only to show that she's being stupid about custody and her son, but also a sort of farewell. This was my final peace.

Glad to hear the medical went well, bruh! I hope you get that call man. I feel ya on trying to be patient while going through so much. Yeah dude, it's really nice to not have to get second opinions on EVERYTHING nor worry about where you look or what you say to someone else.. LOL man every woman seems to get pissy when you don't call or text. Not sure why.. but you're right.. You have so many things going on in your life why add another stress cause? Unless of course you find "the one" LOL. Yeah.. we suck LOL.. Sorry you still think of her man, just take this opportunity to hit on those girls.. you'll stop thinking of her, and you'll be doing your confidence some justice.. That'll even carry over to the Services. I have turned down a clear opportunity to get numbers as I'm sure you have. That shows everything doesn't have to be serious- It doesn't even have to leave that moment. It's a good feeling man and it hurts no one and is completely innocent, but do it when you're ready of course. Grats! @ week 1.. Hopefully she's run out of appliance ideas to call about.. You got week 2 down no problems I bet, dude. I gots faith in ya!

haha.. My friends here are from that area of NY.. Maybe one day I'll find myself there at the north pole : /

Well.. I'm not out to date anyone, get a number, or anything of the sort. Yet. lol.. I've been building confidence is all so far and I think I may nab a couple numbers sometimes because I need friends around here to chill with lol.. The hotter the better.. Nah, I'm just looking for people to chill with when my son's not around.. I'll post here if I do decide to cross that line.

Dude don't compare.. I know everyone does it naturally, but just remember.. THEY are talking to YOU.. They're already better lol.. They want to be around you.. not push you away.. But, I understand the whole love stuck thing..

Where'd your avatar pic go, OG?

My son just farted and I heard it bubble.. On that note.. I'm gonna go.. and spray my house & son down with bleach..

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Hey man
Glad you made your final peace... now say no more to her about anything to do with "you guys". Let her sleep in the bed she made so to speak.

I took away the avatar pic on the off chance someone who knows me stumbles upon this site... I know I have friends around while I've been on here in the past so it just avoids them reading anything I may not have wanted them to read. Sounds paranoid... but I donno lol.

Yea I know I got week two down no problem... still minor annoyances though. Her parents came into my work today while I was working... I don't like how they do that anymore. Work is like my one escape where I don't think about her for a good 6-8 hours... and them showing up screws that up. Whatever though... I handled it well and was polite and brief with them.

Haha @ north pole... its actually beautiful these days round here... 20 degrees celsius every day!

You sound like your having a great time with your son... thats the best thing you could do. He sounds like quite the funny little guy... you must be proud... teach him well haha.

Its funny what you say about finding "the one"... I always have a gut feeling that says to me whether a girl is worth the trouble or not... and so far no one is... and in my life only 3 girls have been worth it (long term)... but if history is any indicator another one will come around at some point so I just patiently await that day.

On that note... im going to stuff myself full of pizza! Glad to hear your doing well... and remember... this is where you can succeed where so many of us have failed... no more to your ex about you guys... she doesn't deserve it now.

Yeah, that was my goodbye man.. I can't destroy myself over what she does any longer.. I'm getting happier every day.. I'm not going to be dragged back to hell..

I feel you man.. I may do the same rofl.. In fact.. yeah I'm going to toss mine.. Never thought about that.. Crap..

That's BS @ her parents.. That's so blatant, but I'm sure it was them wondering how you were.. Good job @ polite and brief.. It seems that it's not about avoidance, but rather about how you deal and cope with a given situation regardless. That's your new strength there, bruh.. Playing it cool will always win.

20C is like less then 60F isn't it? Are you on crack? I'd freeze dude lol...

He's very intelligent and has the best little personality of anyone I've ever met.. lol. He already does quite well with the ladies.. Very proud! Lol..

I know what you mean, bruh.. I get that same feeling. You just know who you clash with or who you mix well with.. Not sure what it is.. And yes.. your one will come along and make all this crap just disappear. You're a good guy from what I've seen and like you say.. a-holes never keep the girls..

Man I just made my chili finally.. Been waiting to make it all week long.. OMG it's good.. Now I want pizza.. thanks dude..

Wurd. No more ex.