Ask Me Help Desk - Is it really that wrong to be obedient?

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Originally Posted by J_9

I'm not sure you should be putting their names or the name of the office on the internet. It might lead to a lawsuit.

I'm wanting to call him first thing in the morning and have a professional talk with him.

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Originally Posted by Wondergirl

Two of those meds are not usually given to someone under 18. Did he ever explain to you why he prescribed them?

Why didn't you ask for time alone with him on the 27th? In fact, you are the patient, and your mom should have gotten only a brief amount of time with him. The doctor knows this. Why did he let your mother run the session?

He explained that the adderall was for my ADD/ADHD
My wellbutrin was for my depression
And the lamictal for bipolar

I didn't oppose to her coming in so I guess he just figured he'd let her
He really just asks me how I'm feeling and gives me medicine usually. The appoinments are only about 20 minutes long

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Originally Posted by xXxEmOxXxPrInCeSsxXx

I didn't oppose to her coming in so I guess he just figured he'd let her
he really just asks me how I'm feeling and gives me medicine usually. the appoinments are only about 20 minutes long

So if she says the meds aren't working, he takes you off them to prove to her they are. So how are you going to act without meds?

No therapist for weekly goal-setting and problem-solving?

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Originally Posted by Wondergirl

So if she says the meds aren't working, he takes you off them to prove to her they are. So how are you going to act without meds?

No therapist for weekly goal-setting and problem-solving?

No
My parents assumed the meds would do all the work
Plus it's expensive my mum said

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Originally Posted by WG

So how are you going to act without meds?

No therapist for weekly goal-setting and problem-solving?

Please answer.

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Originally Posted by xXxEmOxXxPrInCeSsxXx

my parents assumed the meds would do all the work
plus it's expensive my mum said

It's a scientific fact that the meds don't do all the work! The doctor went along with your parents' thinking?

You don't have insurance coverage for the prescriptions?

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Originally Posted by Wondergirl

It's a scientific fact that the meds don't do all the work! The doctor went along with that thinking?

You don't have insurance coverage for the prescriptions?

The meds are mostly covered. But there's still 40 each for well butrin and lamictal, then 80 for the adderall. The doctor asked a while ago if I was seeing someone other than him. I said no. he said okay and then went on about different medicine options.

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Originally Posted by Wondergirl

Please answer.

That's the part where I said no, sorry. Forgot to specify. No, I'm not seeing any one for problem solving or goal-setting.

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Originally Posted by xXxEmOxXxPrInCeSsxXx

No, I'm not seeing any one for problem solving or goal-setting.

And your doctor didn't even suggest it, especially since that's what his health care center does?

If you are going off meds now, you definitely need to see a therapist/counselor at least once and maybe even twice a week. The meds only smooth out the wrinkles in your emotions and make you open to counseling. The counseling gives you handholds and footholds for everyday living.

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Originally Posted by Wondergirl

And your doctor didn't even suggest it, especially since that's what his health care center does?

If you are going off meds now, you definitely need to see a therapist/counselor at least once and maybe even twice a week. The meds only smooth out the wrinkles in your emotions and make you open to counseling. The counseling gives you handholds and footholds for everyday living.

It's really expensive, copay is $50 a session... I wanted to go before but I've had bad experience so far with conseling

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Originally Posted by xXxEmOxXxPrInCeSsxXx

It's really expensive, copay is $50 a session... I wanted to go before but I've had bad experience so far with conseling

Then talk to your doctor about this. He can recommend someone who has a sliding scale and an out-of-pocket price without copay and insurance coverage. I do this. Catholic Charities does it. Lutheran Social Services does it. We aren't in this for money, but want to help people who are honest with us about their financial situation.

You had a bad experience? What was it?

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Originally Posted by Wondergirl

Then talk to your doctor about this. He can recommend someone who has a sliding scale and an out-of-pocket price without copay and insurance coverage. I do this. Catholic Charities does it. Lutheran Social Services does it. We aren't in this for money, but want to help people who are honest with us about their financial situation.

You had a bad experience? What was it?

I didn't mean bad bad, but my first counselor was horrible. I sat there and got to listen to how all my problems in life were because I was fat and all this other stuff. Any time I tried to talk about something, she turned it into "my kid today (insert random stuff here)"

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Originally Posted by xXxEmOxXxPrInCeSsxXx

I didn't mean bad bad, but my first counselor was horrible.

What about your second counselor? What went wrong there?

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Originally Posted by Wondergirl

What about your second counselor? What went wrong there?

She was kind of stuck up, and shot down all my future plans. Argued with me about my sexuality, and made me feel like a loser

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Originally Posted by xXxEmOxXxPrInCeSsxXx

She was kinda stuck up, and shot down all my future plans. Argued with me about my sexuality, and made me feel like a loser

What about the third one?

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Originally Posted by Wondergirl

What about the third one?

Third is my current psychiatrist that I just found out isn't doing what he should

Okay, a counselor is not like putting on a glove. It's more like looking for a needle in a haystack. You have to find the right fit and it may take many before you do.

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Originally Posted by xXxEmOxXxPrInCeSsxXx

third is my current psychiatrist that i just found out isn't doing what he should

I'm not sure what that means.

You are the client. If you feel that the therapist is not doing what he should, please question it. Immediately! I tell my clients to stop me midsentence if they have to and object. (Actually, counselors do very little talking. My clients -- anyone's clients -- should do the majority of it. A counselor's main reason for being there is to listen and help them find their own path.)

So far the comments you have made about your therapists make them sound very unprofessional. I'd wonder about their credentials and training. Were they referrals from your doctor, and even at the same location?

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Originally Posted by Wondergirl

I'm not sure what that means.

You are the client. If you feel that the therapist is not doing what he should, please question it. Immediately!! I tell my clients to stop me midsentence if they have to and object. (Actually, counselors do very little talking. My clients -- anyone's clients -- should do the majority of it. A counselor's main reason for being there is to listen and help them find their own path.)

So far the comments you have made about your therapists make them sound very unprofessional. I'd wonder about their credentials and training. Were they referrals from your doctor, and even at the same location?

The third is the one I just found out shouldn't be putting me on a med holiday

All of my councilors and my psychiatrist have talked more than I have in every session

The office itself was refferred to me by my pediatrician, who is very good. All three were in that office. They have degrees I know that

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Originally Posted by xXxEmOxXxPrInCeSsxXx

The third is the one I just found out shouldn't be putting me on a med holiday

A therapist? Master's degree? PhD?

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all of my councilors and my psychiatrist have talked more than I have in every session

Like I said before, you are the client. If you feel that the therapist is not doing what he should, please question it. Immediately! This is not only your right, but your responsibility. The things you have said the counselors did with you were actually very unprofessional and definitely not any kind of therapy.

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They have degrees I know that

Degrees in what? Social work? PhD?

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Originally Posted by Wondergirl

A therapist? Master's degree? PhD?

Like I said before, you are the client. If you feel that the therapist is not doing what he should, please question it. Immediately!! This is not only your right, but your responsibility. The things you have said the counselors did with you were actually very unprofessional and definitely not any kind of therapy.

Degrees in what? Social work? PhD?

Dr. Dyer has a PhD

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Originally Posted by xXxEmOxXxPrInCeSsxXx

Dr. Dyer has a PhD

Actually, he doesn't. He has an MD. He's a psychiatrist.

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Originally Posted by Wondergirl

Actually, he doesn't. He has an MD. He's a psychiatrist.

On the sheet of paper hanging outside his little office thing in the main lobby there's a list of everyone. It says PhD

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Originally Posted by xXxEmOxXxPrInCeSsxXx

On the sheet of paper hanging outside his little office thing in the main lobby there's a list of everyone. It says PhD

Look again. PhDs can't prescribe medication. His Web site says he's an MD.

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Originally Posted by Wondergirl

Look again. PhDs can't prescribe medication. His Web site says he's an MD.

I could've sworn it said PhD... maybe it was someone else on the list?

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Originally Posted by xXxEmOxXxPrInCeSsxXx

I could've sworn it said PhD.... maybe it was someone else on the list?

The facility contains MDs and PhDs. You know the difference, right?

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Originally Posted by Wondergirl

The facility contains MDs and PhDs. You know the difference, right?

Yeah I know the difference. One's psych one's med

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Originally Posted by xXxEmOxXxPrInCeSsxXx

yeah I know the difference. one's psych one's med

Wrong. Both can be psych. The Ph in PhD doesn't mean psych. It means philosophy.

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Originally Posted by Wondergirl

Wrong. Both can be psych. The Ph in PhD doesn't mean psych. It means philosophy.

O okay

An MD = medical doctor -- a general practitioner or has any kind of specialty for which he would have gone to school longer (orthopedic doctor, psychiatrist, medical examiner, brain surgeon, gastroenterologist, etc.).

A PhD = doctor of philosophy -- perhaps does research of some kind (psychology, food science, animal husbandry, education, library science), may teach in a university/college setting, may counsel/supervise in a clinical setting.

Only a medical doctor (MD) can legally write prescriptions and control a patient's meds.

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Originally Posted by Wondergirl

An MD = medical doctor -- a general practitioner or have any kind of specialty for which he would have gone to school longer (orthopedic doctor, psychiatrist, medical examiner, brain surgeon, gastroenterologist, etc.).

A PhD = doctor of philosophy -- perhaps does research of some kind (psychology, food science, animal husbandry, education, library science), may teach in a university/college setting, may counsel/supervise in a clinical setting.

Only a medical doctor (MD) can legally write prescriptions and control a patient's meds.

OK

I would like to remind everyone of this topic- given my previously stated circumstances, is it really all that wrong to be obedient

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Originally Posted by xXxEmOxXxPrInCeSsxXx

I would like to remind everyone of this topic- given my previously stated circumstances, is it really all that wrong to be obedient

Yes, because then you lose who you are.

You had said in your original post, "when a female loves a male, she completely submits to him in every way and he is her superior." No. The correct way is this: "when a male and female truly love each other, she completely submits to him in every way and he to her." The Bible says they become as one flesh.

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Originally Posted by xXxEmOxXxPrInCeSsxXx

I would like to remind everyone of this topic- given my previously stated circumstances, is it really all that wrong to be obedient

Yes. As my analogy... obedience is for dogs. Dogs obey their masters. When we are in a relationship, we are partners. No one is more important than the other.

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Originally Posted by xXxEmOxXxPrInCeSsxXx

I would like to remind everyone of this topic- given my previously stated circumstances, is it really all that wrong to be obedient

I haven't forgotten the other topics. :)
You needed to hear about the medical issues because they can play a large part in what you think is going on in your brain. I think you really do need a good counselor who you can trust and be open with in person about everything you have said here. I think you need more people that you can truly trust.

Being obedient is what you want a dog or child to be. You are neither.

I am concerned that you are engaged at 17 years of age and that you place so much of yourself in this person's hands. You have been through a lot and I know you are wanting the stability that you think you have found. I don't think I have seen how old your fiancé is. Does he really understand the amount of responsibility you are putting on him? Do you?

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Originally Posted by Cat1864

I haven't forgotten the other topics. :)
You needed to hear about the medical issues because they can play a large part in what you think is going on in your brain. I think you really do need a good counselor who you can trust and be open with in person about everything you have said here. I think you need more people that you can truly trust.

Being obedient is what you want a dog or child to be. You are neither.

I am concerned that you are engaged at 17 years of age and that you place so much of yourself in this person's hands. You have been through a lot and I know you are wanting the stability that you think you have found. I don't think I have seen how old your fiancé is. Does he really understand the amount of responsibility you are putting on him? Do you?

He's sixteen. And also in need of the stability.

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Originally Posted by Wondergirl

Yes, because then you lose who you are.

You had said in your original post, "when a female loves a male, she completely submits to him in every way and he is her superior." No. The correct way is this: "when a male and female truly love each other, she completely submits to him in every way and he to her." The Bible says they become as one flesh.

I'm not that religion, but that is a very good quote Wondergirl.

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Originally Posted by J_9

Yes. As my analogy...obedience is for dogs. Dogs obey their masters. When we are in a relationship, we are partners. No one is more important than the other.

Yes, true

And like a dog, I enjoy the rewards of a pleased master. Such as more affection

That may be well and good for young people in love now, but as you grow, and learn, and change, so will your attitude. So will his. The realities of life for adults is much different at 20, than at 16.

Even more so at 25. Lets be real, how many young loves stay that way forever? Its easy now with hardly any real life pressures, to be, and act certain ways and enjoy it. But forever? Hardly any of us escape the need to make adjustments in our adult life, where love doesn't pay the rent, or change diapers.

Not trying to change your mind, just trying to make you aware of the coming changes.

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Originally Posted by xXxEmOxXxPrInCeSsxXx

Yes, true

and like a dog, I enjoy the rewards of a pleased master. Such as more affection

I am sorry but I think that you have gotten some sound advice her to see a counselor and try to work through some of your issues.

Do you really believe the stuff you are saying??? 'a pleased master'??? That is not what a husband is, not in any country or culture! A true marriage, a true love does not have a inferiority and superiority dynamic. Its two people coming together to love and support one another for life.

You really need to take the advice of the others seriously and go to see a counselor, really what have you got to lose if you are emotionally and mentally sound in thinking this way a professional will back you up. If not you may be able to learn something about yourself... which is always a good thing.

Best of Luck.

Why does he feel so badly?

My fiancé used to be controlling to an extent, but stopped a couple months ago. He said it makes him feel guilty. I love it when he acts like how he did, why would he feel guilty?

He never used to have a problem with it. He would order me to do things with no problem. Now he says it makes him feel guilty. I asked him why, but all he said was "Drop it"