You don't feel any kind of way when your boyfriend takes his phone everyone where he goes? Like to the bathroom etc?
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You don't feel any kind of way when your boyfriend takes his phone everyone where he goes? Like to the bathroom etc?
I cannot begin to imagine how many threads you have started based upon your blatant insecurities! Relax girl and enjoy yourself. Quit trying to make fire out of bricks. ;)
Thanks kctiger :o I will keep that in mind.
Honestly no I don't, because I do the same thing. We share everything anyway so whether I read it in his phone or he tells me it really doesn't matter to me at all. I trust him 1000% so there is no reason for me to worried or need to think anything different. If you trust him there is no need to worryQuote:
Originally Posted by HotPotato2009
Thank you green for that. That makes me feel better
I have to agree, thats why they have all been merged.Quote:
Originally Posted by kctiger
I think you question things he does, way too much, instead of relaxing a bit. Then maybe you can enjoy yourself more. But I can understand your curiosity, but not getting carried away by your feelings. Most times some plain conversations get better results.
Keep asking questions, but keep them on the same thread, when they are about the same guy
Threads merged
Hello!
Last night me and my boyfriend got into a argument. He asked me if I trusted him and I told him yes somethimes. Rather than asking me why, he flips off on me. I trust my boyfriend to a certain point and that certain point is how he acts when he is on his phone. Like if he gets a text he covers the screen to respond back or he will move to another spot in the room away from me so I can't see it, or he will just lay on his back. I told him this and he assumes that I don't trust him at all. I trust him when he is away from me, out with his friend etc... just when it comes to him and his phone... makes me feel a little suspicious.
I have a myspace page, with only 9 friends (3 of them guys that I went to school with). One of the guys left a comment on my pic and said "work hard. Im watching u lol" cause I was at work when I took the pic. So I responded and said "lol i didnt work hard then". The problem is the comment wasn't with the picture it was on other comments that other of his friends made. SO my boyfriend thinks I was talking about having sex with this guy when I said "i wasnt working hard then". If he looks at the date and the time the comment was posted he would know that they are supposes to be together.
So basically, when we were arguing he was making me feel like crap! Telling me he's right and I'm wrong, said he's not stupid and he know when a person is lying, and then he called me stupid.
Oh and he also told me that he was going to propose to me on christmas, but said that he was going to cancel it because I don't trust him.
Does anyone know how I should react to this?? I've been crying on and off since last night
Thanks:confused:
Don't cry leave, or change sleeping arrangements. Being that nasty is uncalled for period. He sounds like he was picking a fight on purpose to me. I think your right, as he should have asked why you feel the way you do.
Me and my boyfriend got into a argument last Thursday. He was out drinking with his brother before we had this argument. It wasn't too bad of an argument though. He asked me if I trust him. And I told him Yes sometimes. He never asked me what were the reasons, he just automatically snapped on me. Claiming I don't trust him at all, which isn't true. Yes, I've had trusting issues before but I trust my boyfriend a lot more now than before. There was only one thing that makes me wonder about him. And that is him being sneaky when he's either texting etc. Like if we are sitting next to each other and he texts somebody he uses his other hand to cover the phone screen so I can't see what he is writing. Or he will move to another part of the room to finish the text or he will turn over and lay on his back. That's the only problem I am having with him. Other than that I do trust him.
So he goes on bringing up all the bad things in our relationship (making it seem like its my fault that we have arguments). Then he called me stupid. Then he says "I was going to propose to you on christmas but ima cancel that now". So you know I hurt. I have been nothing but a good woman to him.
I told my mom about it. She said that he was just playing mind games with me. She thinks that he just said he was going to cancel the proposal because he knows that that is something I want and he want me to stress over him. Makes sense but I don't know. Still makes me sad in a way.
The next morning after our argument he asked me if I was still mad at him and said that he still loves me... but he never apologized. I was thinking about apologizing to him about our argument cause he hasn't apologized yet. Does anyone have any advice??
Um, there's a difference between being the bigger person and being the doormat. So before I give any advice, I want to make sure I'm not encouraging you to be his doormat. Is he like that all the time? Was it only because he was intoxicated? Is he regularly intoxicated or is it only on the rare occasion? If this is a one time deal and you're seriously committed, I'd say talk things out while he's sober and both of you move on. But if this is regular, I have to wonder why bother staying with him. If he's regularly going to mess with your head on purpose, sounds like you'd be better off without him.
No this doesn't happen all the time. He's not a big drinker. Just a one time thing. But he is a very emotional person when he does drink though which isn't often
I think there is something else behind this issue.
He dangled an engagement proposal in front of you-- something is fishy.
That's just what I think.
I suggest talking to him about it in a few days after both him and you cool down.
Sarah
I still don't see any reason for you to apologize. I'm not clear on what you did to apologize for. Did I miss something?
I agree with mudweiser, talk when you've both cooled down.
Actually I didn't do anything wrong. I just thought that maybe apologizing is the best thing to do.
Were both cooled down. He was all extra nice to me the next day after out argument.
Mudweiser, what do you think is fishy?
Stand your ground. No need to give in to him when you did nothing wrong. That will just help this problem to happen again and again.Quote:
Originally Posted by HotPotato2009
Thanks unaffected.
Hey guys!
There is something I need to vent about, and if anyone has advice it would be helpful to me. I'd appreciate anything.
Every time my boyfriend has off from work and I have to work I get mad. Why? I don't know. I don't get mad all the time, I would say 50% of the time I get mad. Don't know why I get like this either. Like I'm always wondering what he is going to do with his day, who he's going to do it with and where he's going if he goes anywhere. It sucks!
So I'm at work now, not having a good day knowing my boyfriend is at home and I'm not with him. Does anyone have advice on how to chill this out.
Thanks!
You can't let things like this get to you. Right now I am at work and my girlfriend is at home in bed. I can't do anything about it. I have been here since 6 this morning and don't get off until 5. Then She will be in class by the time I get off work. So, I won't see her until 9:30 or so. It really does suck being away from the one you love and it seems unfair and you always wonder those things but you have to do things to keep your mind off it. Do you call him any through the day or text him?
You need to let him enjoy his time off and not be so selfish. It's a part of growing up.
You need to realize that each of you have your own lives. Don't be so dependent upon him or you will end up chasing him away.
Do you get mad when he works and you are not working?
Heck, I work 7 pm to 7 am, my husband works 8am to 6pm. We never see each other but have a great relationship.
Yes I do call him throughout the day.
No I don't get mad when he works and I'm off
Do you trust him?
Yes I do trust him to a certain point
To a certain point? Can you elaborate?
Yes, Trust is a thing in question here. If you are getting mad because you think he is doing something behind your back then maybe you two should have a talk. Well, as long as you keep in touch throughout the day it should make it easier.
So you said you don't get mad when he works and you are off. Does this mean you enjoy your free time and your space away from him from time to time?
Trust is key. If you fully trusted him then you wouldn't feel so threatened when you are at work and he's at home. Did he do anything that gives you reason not to fully trust?
Another merged thread
Based on your entire story, this has been a trust issue from the beginning and not only a different-working-hours issue.
NO trust = NO relationship
Yes it is a trust issue and yes he has done something to make me feel this way. A few months ago he was at his co workers house (a female) tryna learn how to work his myspace page and when I called him he woudnlt answer. Then he tried to lie about it when he got home.
That's the kind of stuff I think about when he's home and I'm not. Like is he going to do it again? Ya know what I mean?
I trust him but when it comes to other girls that's when I get suspicious of him. And that's because of what he did. I try to get over that but its not easy. Cause I never experienced that before.
I understand how you feel. There are a couple things you can do. You can either talk it out and try to regain trust OR you end it, move on, and find a person who you can leave behind at home and not feel paranoid. BUT if you do decided to work on this relationship you really have to TRY. Only you can let yourself trust... not him.
Sometimes things like that will make you feel insecure but you have to try and look past it. I was cheated on a couple of times in the past and with the girls after that I always had trust issues for awhile. So many relationships after I finally got over it. You have to learn to trust and not be over obsessed with it and think what he is doing is something so simple instead of so complex.
I feel you on the friends thing. I don't have anything to do when I get off work because I lost a lot of friends after high school and my best friend works nights so I don't have anybody to hang with so I sit at home by myself. When I am at work she usually has a couple free hours to do something like go grab a bite to eat with some friends or something until she has to go to work or class. So I am in the same situation as well. You just have to keep your mind off it. I spend my day on here at work. Maybe you should too.
We've talked about it before. And he said he understands where I was coming from. I don't want to have to keep talking about it with him cause that will just start an argument (something I want to avoid).
What's the best way to keep my mind off it though??
Once I think I'm fine. I go right back to thinking about it. I do try but its not an easy thing
It may not be easy at first but it will come easier eventually. Try helping around here on AMHD and not talking about it because that just makes it worse.
Thanks Adam! I appreciate your kind words
Anytime you need anything just know we are here to help.
Hello Room!
There is just something that I need to vent and get off my chest because I don't want to have a bad day because of this.
Ok... I have to be at work at 8:00am. I live in walking distance from my job. Im not a morning person and hate waking up, but I do wake up at a reasonable time to get to work. Sometimes I get to work at exactly 8am and other times I get there 5 minutes later (8:05) which isn't bad really. I only overslept 4 times since I been at my job. And I've been working here for 1 1/2
My boyfriend says to me this morning that I need to start waking up early to get to work on time.. then gets on my case about it saying that I don't care and whatnot. Which isn't true. But duh I think I know what time I get to work everyday. I don't need someone else telling me that. I know I should wake up earlier but that something I have to do. It has nothing to do with him.
I don't even know why he cares anyway. He always seems to care about the "bad" stuff but never the good stuff that I do. It pisses me off. So now I'm having a jacked up morning at work.. ALL because of him! I don't even want to talk to him now.
What do you guys think?
I think you have a talent for getting angry at things that really don't merit energy. He cares because I would care to. I cannot stand people who are constantly either late or get to work right on time. Applying a little more effort goes a long way. Perhaps he is just ensuring you are in good standings with your boss. You two are living together and splitting the bills, far as I'm concerned, your job is his business, just as his job situation is.
By the way, and I'm not trying to act like a jerk, does your boyfriend do anything that you actually like or that makes you happy?
I remember posts from you before and it usually has to do with you being mad at your boyfriend or you being jealous of him. I think he is just trying to help you out. I really don't know his tone of voice when any of this was said so I don't know. If you don't want him to be involved in your life or any of your chioces tell him to leave you alone and see where that gets you. I am pretty sure where it would get you and I think you know too so it seems you want it that way, so why don't you do it?
Isn't really bad? I doubt your opinion counts for much with your employer. Most of the companies I've been associated with would show you the door for repeated tardiness.Quote:
Originally Posted by HotPotato2009
I think that if the two of you are living together and you contribute to the household's finances, he has a legitimate and valid interest in your ongoing employment status.Quote:
Originally Posted by HotPotato2009
My job is fine with a few minutes late. Its just 5 minutes. My boss doesn't even come in on time for that matter and he starts at 8:30. He doesn't get to work until 8:40.
If I were to say something to my boyfriend about him being late he would get a attitude with me telling me to mind my business. That's how he is.
I don't need somebody telling me what I already know. That is what upsets me
Well tell him to mind his own business then.
As far as being late and following what your boss does isn't a great idea. He is the boss and can do what he wants. Where I work we start the day at 6 in the morning. He gets here at 8 or 9. We end the day at 5. He leaves around 3. We would like to do that and still get paid but unfortunately we can't. If he checks your time and sees repetitive tardiness that might upset him. Does your company have a grace period? I know I have a 5 inute grace period so if I clock in 3 minutes late it can't be held against me.
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