I thought I was strong, I took a big step backwards, almost to square one!

Last night I checked on her Facebook and every single detail... I thought I was strong enough to handle it! It didn't kill me, but when I went to bed I just couldn't get to sleep! I feeling the effect, some chemicals rushing in my blood. Doesn't seem as serious to me but the effect can't be neglected!

That's what you get for not deleting her Facebook. I have heard so many cases people checking Facebook and ruined their healing process. Heck it even happened to me but then I learned my lesson and deleted every contact I have with her immediately.

Agh, I feel my stomach growling since then!

Do yourself a favour and delete all contact with her if you know what is good for yah =P

I got news from her saying she regret breaking up with me due to a simple crush with another person. Situation going complicated..

So now she wants a fallback guy as her crush didn't work out?That's not complicated that's a classic and you should avoid falling into that trap.Focus on yourself let her be and get on with your own life-you re not responsible for anyone else's at this moment in time.

So a SIMPLE crush on another, broke up this relationship? That's a big red flag that tells you she was not as happy as she said, or seemed.

Something you need to look at, is if the crush developed as she hoped, would she have regretted her break up, and would the crush still be so simple then?

I don't think so, and you better heed the red flag, and heal, before you get sucked back in.

Her impulsive actions ended this, and your healing will keep it that way, or at least allow you to make a decision based on facts, and not just feelings.

This isn't all that complicated, she thought the grass was greener in the other yard, and found out it wasn't, at least not this time.

Talaniman Rule-When you see someones true colors, believe your eyes, not your hurt heart.

Oh yeah, thanks for the reminders. A classic prob needs to be solved the classic way. Heal and we'll see how it goes after that! Just reming myself to keep calm and cool always.

And busy.

So she's finally done experimenting, now she's going to her backup plan, which is you.
Don't fall for that. Keep moving forward. Don't let her hinder your progress.

By the way, I hope that you've deleted her from Facebook. Don't allow yourself to be tortured by going to her page. It's really unhealthy. You're better off spending your time doing something else. Don't forget, there are 5,999,999,999 other people in this world.

I went far beyond that, gained unrevealed truths about the ex and used it as a nitros to move on. When I look back the pass few months, its shocking. I'm amazed by how this breakup change my life, I'm no more a loser, coward, sissy, clingy guy. Breakup gave me the opportunity to express my feelings more. I used to be a boy of few words to express myself, deep thought but nvr express it, uses my heart to speak. Now I get my brain working. When I look in a mirror I couldn't even remember myself before, inside and outside! Couldn't have done it without you ladies and gentlemen!

Keep that good brain working!:-)

Thanks for all the sharing ladies and gentlemen on the board! This place have got me thinking like a man, be like a man :)

Yeah, love makes your brain really blind xD, I'm blind right now... really I admire your strength. Omg, I love to read the person's developments on this site...

Thank you there, if u know u're blind then u better don't look or imagine stuffs that u can't see for the moment wait till the moment your eyes OPENED :)

I'm back with updates. I've been watching movies lately. Almost everyday and some motivates me, and some reminds me of my life. I've been making progress, but I know there's still a long way to go.

I have a question, if u did become a friend of your ex in the future and he/she ask u about things that happened after the breakup and how did u feel and what did u do. What would u say? I have 2 versions in my head:
1.Lie
2.Painful truth

Update:
After so many months, I've been doing fine. Guess my ex has got partner(s). I don't wan to have any comment on this. It stings I have to admit this. Just trying to accept the fact that I'm growing and learning and I couldn't help her with her part. I don't know why it hurts to say this, perhaps it's the little part that hasn't fully healed + the flashbacks when I got back to my hometown.

Complete healing takes time and those little stabs of pain are normal I'd say. Just acknowledge the emotion and then let it go.
You'll continue growing stronger and your life will go on regardless.

Yes, thank you for your response. I just roughly covered my own post, and I couldn't believe this. My ex killed the old me. It's the new me now,I was so immature. Right now that I have learnt from all you people and experiences from all around the world, I find it hard to live in my place, my "closed" culture.

I don't know where in the world you are-somewhere on the Asian continent? I can only add that we all,here,learn so much from each other and that your own experiences will help others.

I'm from Southeast asia, its(not everyone) not as open minded as europe or america or other continents. Some examples, The generation before me mostly have just 1 partner and then they get married. When their marriage is a mistake, they stick to it. Just a rough idea.

3 yrs of relationship, brought me to another level. Just hope the pain goes away fast enough. My ex is a total confusion that she don't even know, just like I was when I broke up with my ex before her.

The pain will go away-don't dwell on it-keep busy.

Almost 1 year, time passes fast. I have not recovered fullly yet, didn't know it would take so long...

Four years is a long time,but you know,you'll get there in the end.
Patience and time will do it.
Take care.

I'm back guys, I'm back with the scar in my heart. A tragic makes someone grow, and growing at a fast phase really makes me feel I'm not my age. I'm 20 and its hard for me. It has been some time... I felt, strange. Wondering how long it would take to get over this girl.

I broke NC once when I met her, texted and called to have a friendship, but she was acting strangely, strange enough I did not notice it early enoough. We met up, and she's got a new boyfriend that she don't have the guts to tell me about it. We had a short dinner and drove her home. Her respond fluctuates, lying a lot in guilt ( can be sensed ). At last I sent her a text to end the friendship for good. Nobody wants a lier for a friend.

I'm trying hard to get rid of her. There's absolutely no contact for more than half a year, but it doesn't seem to work as I get dreams about her, bad dreams. Can't believe I still got the butterflies in stomach. DO I NEED professional help?

No I don't think you need professional help. You need more time. More time with which you can continue rebuilding your life without her in it. You had a four year relationship, don't expect to be completely healed in a certain amount of time. What works for some doesn't always work for others. Keep up the no contact!

Haven't seen for some time tiger, its hard at this age, because I can't go out dating people because It hurts even to see couple, or felt any romance with anyone. I don't like to carry hatred and the thought of revenge. I actually have nobody to tell my problems to, that's the hard..